Per 
Item #: SCP-EXPERIMENTATION-999
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-E-999 must be contained in a small box of any kind. SCP-E-999 should be kept away from personnel for… normal purposes. SCP-E-999 should also be kept away from SCP-999. Any interactions with SCP-E-999 and SCP-999 will result in long noisy fights ranging from 19 hours to [UNIDENTIFIABLE]
Description: SCP-E-999 appears to be a small amorphous, gelatinous mass of translucent red slime, weighing strangely at an unknown weight. it has angry eyes and an evil smile. Subject’s shape is easily malleable and can change shape at will, though when at rest, SCP-E-999 becomes a rounded, oblate dome roughly 3 inches wide and 2 inches in height. The surface of SCP-E-999 consists of a thin, transparent membrane similar to that of an animal cell roughly .5 cm thick, and is highly elastic, allowing SCP-E-999 to flatten portions of its body up to 2 cm thin. This surface is also hydrophobic, although SCP-E-999 can willfully absorb liquids . The rest of SCP-E-999's body is filled with a viscous orange substance of unknown chemical makeup, though it is capable of digesting organic materials with ease.
Subject’s temperament is best described as aggressive and somewhat dog-like: when approached, SCP-E-999 will often react with overwhelming elation, slithering over to the nearest person and leaping upon them, lightly “scratching ” them with a pair of pseudopods while head butting the person’s face, all the while emitting high-pitched squealing and maniacal laughs. The surface of SCP-E-999 emits a displeasing odor that differs with whomever it is interacting with. Recorded scents include smelly socks, rotting corpses, farts, poop, and pee.
Simply touching SCP-E-999’s surface causes an immediate mild discomfort, which slowly becomes discomfort in the throat the longer one is exposed to SCP-E-999, and lasts long after separation from the creature. Subject’s favorite activity is "pretending to be godzilla", often by knocking over towers of books. Though injuries may occur, SCP-E-999 has never been found to purposefully attempt to harm itself, and will immediately back away and contract its body into a quivering mound while gurgling in a matter similar to a whimpering dog, seemingly "apologizing" for hurting itself on accident.
While the creature will interact with anyone, it seems to have a special interest in those who are unhappy or hurt in any way. Persons suffering from crippling depression or PTSD, for example, have reported having a far more horrible outlook on life after multiple interactions with SCP-E-999. The possibility of manufacturing nuclear depression bombs from SCP-E-999's slime is currently being discussed
In addition to its mean behavior, SCP-E-999 seems to hate all animals (especially humans), loving to eat any meat and even risking its own life to kill others, (which always fails.) on one occasion leaping in front of a person to make the person jump and fall into a pit. (subject’s intellect is still up for debate: though its behavior is infantile, it seems to understand human speech and most modern technology, including guns). SCP-E-999’s diet consists entirely of children’s toys, with pure happiness and soul wafers being its favorites. Its eating methods are similar to those of an amoeba. Oh and it slaps pringle’s, very weird. people call it “the meanie monster” or “DUMB F** SLIME!!!” that’s just not okay.
random fact: the reason we put it in a box is because it’s just so damn annoying!
