Janitor Ralph
rating: 0+x

Item #: SCP-3189

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3189 is to be kept in a room, 8x8x8 meters, bordering the cafeteria, with a slot on both the wall facing the hallway and the wall facing the cafeteria for it to take orders and pass food through. The room is to be furnished with spare cooking supplies, along with a small collection of cookbooks (SCP-3189 doesn't use these for cooking, but enjoys being around them, and improved morale has been shown to improve the speed at which it cooks). Personnel are permitted to request food through the slots, though they are advised not to take the food the specimen makes more than 100 meters from the subject's room before eating.

Description: SCP-3189 is a cyan, translucent lifeform roughly 1.5 meters (4 feet and 11 inches) tall. SCP-3189's body is spherical and appears to be gelatinous. It has a total of four tentacles, four of which that act as arms and four of which that act as legs. SCP-3189 has four eyes, two the size of a basketball and two the size of a baseball, all of which are an opaque navy blue, with no visible irises or pupils. It also has an appendage at its top shaped like a stereotypical chef's hat, and another appendage above where its mouth would be shaped like a stereotypical Italian mustache.

SCP-3189 was discovered living in an abandoned restaurant in a small Southern Italian town, after reports of local residents verbally wishing they had a certain food and finding it on their kitchen table minutes later. Reports ceased after SCP-3189 discovery and containment. SCP-3189's exact origins are unknown, though it being an extraterrestrial is a possibility.

SCP-3189 has no mouth and is incapable of speech, but understands English and Italian. It possesses the ability to make seemingly any kind of food or beverage (though it takes considerably longer to make a beverage than SCP-294) on request, provided that it's something edible. When requested, it will walk over to the nearest table, counter, or similar flat surface, and begin making various motions with its "arms", most of which mimicking something one would do while cooking, such as chopping, stirring, flipping, tenderizing, and similar actions. It appears to use no actual cooking supplies, utensils, or even ingredients to do so, and by all accounts seems to be motioning at thin air. Nevertheless, after a short period of time (usually 3 to 10 minutes depending on what was ordered) a fully prepared meal will appear where it was working, and it will bring it to the person who requested it.

Meals SCP-3189 prepares have been tested to be consistently safe for consumption, and seem to have no anomalous properties of their own. It has been shown to be able to make numerous varieties and styles of food, from buffalo wings commonly found in bars to cooked lobster of the sort found in high-end restaurants. The dishes SCP-3189 makes are of temperature they are usually served at, unless specifically requested otherwise.

SCP-3189 has also shown the ability to prepare fictional food and drink, as it fulfilled various requests for them, all of which tasted close to exactly how they were described to taste in their respective works.

SCP-3189 has not shown any ability to prepare food without being requested, and its abilities seem to be limited to edible matter, as it was unable to fulfill any requests for anything inedible.

Due to a lack of a mouth, or any signs of a digestive system, SCP-3189 has been theorized to instead feed off of the act of eating done within its proximity. A test was conducted, where the specimen was instructed to clap its tentacles together every time it felt more full or nourished, as a researcher ate a meal it made while continuously walking away. SCP-3189 compiled, and continued to clap until the researcher was approximately 100 meters away. Another test was conducted, this time with food provided by the cafeteria. The results were the same, suggesting that the specimen doesn't have to have prepared the food to feed off of its consumption. It's unknown if it's possible for it to "overeat".

SCP-3189 is generally docile, and follows orders and instructions without trouble. It had made no attempt to escape its room. Only one thing has been known to make the specimen hostile. If it hasn't fed recently, and people around it refuse to either eat or order food, it will grab any food nearby and attempt to force it down the throat of whoever is closest. Fortunately, the specimen is fairly weak physically and is easy to restrain.

Addendum: SCP-3189 has been provided a keyboard with keys large enough for it to type using its tentacles, giving it a way to communicate with personel.

The specimen enjoys talking about food, cooking, and related topics, and will often attempt to steer conversations to these subjects. It enjoys reading cookbooks, and talks about them with similar investment as one would with a novel.

SCP-3189 claims that its real name is "Chef ██████████████████████████████". As its supposed name is several syllables long, and consists entirely of vowels, it also claims to go by the first two letters for short, as "Chef Io". This is also the name of one of Jupiter's moons, which SCP-3189 takes great joy in, as it believes that every moon is made of a different type of cheese, and refuses to believe otherwise.