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Item #: SCP-3917
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3917 is to be kept in an open wooden container lined with soft foam, positioned at a 45° angle facing a clear window with a wide view of the natural outdoors. A selection of bird feeders are to be maintained outside the window. SCP-3917 is currently being contained in Site Overseer Garran's office at Site 24.
Description: SCP-3917 is a sentient handgun of unknown make and origin. It appears as a standard, albeit slightly larger than normal, handgun, painted bright purple, with a white and purple harlequin mask affixed to the right side. Through unknown means, the mask is fully animate and able to speak, and possesses an encyclopedic knowledge of firearms of both terrestrial and alien origin.
When fired, SCP-3917 emits short bursts of high-intensity energy that have been observed to penetrate though up to four inches of reinforced steel, up to three Kevlar ballistics vest arranged in a line, or six feet of solid ballistics gel. It does not appear to need ammo, but nevertheless, reloading SCP-3917 consistently dispenses up to twelve .44 caliber iron casings, based on how many shots were fired before reloading.
SCP-3917 has been quite willing to talk with researchers, but greatly prefers topics relating to firearms. It has repeatedly refused to reveal where it was made or how it came into existence. When asked about non-firearm related topics, it often becomes irritated or outright refuses to answer. It has expressed a strong desire to not be fired whenever possible, as doing so seems to cause it considerable pain. It cannot fire itself, and seems to even resent it's current body, implying it may be possible to transfer SCP-3917's consciousness to other firearms or objects. SCP-3917 declined to answer when asked about this.
SCP-3917 was recovered from the site of the murder of ████████ ███████ in ███ ████, Texas, by an undercover Foundation agent planted in the local law enforcement. It claims to have been used against its will in the murder, then discarded when the murder fled the scene.
After being brought into Foundation custody, SCP-3917 requested to be kept in 'a comfortable box with a view of the outdoors'. This request was granted after testing.
Addendum 3917-1:
After recovering, SCP-3917 was brought to Site 24 and Researcher Berna was assigned to determining the extent of its anomalous qualities. Below are her findings, as well as an interview log.
- SCP-3917 does not need any form of food, water or air.
- SCP-3917 has no central nervous system or organs, but can still see, smell, hear and talk through its mask, and feel through its entire handgun.
- SCP-3917 has 20/20 vision and perfect hearing.
- SCP-3917 produces a theoretically infinite amount of ammunition and associated casings. However, the casings automatically disintegrate soon after being discharged, preventing any exploitation of this property.
- SCP-3917 was originally quite poorly-disposed towards both Researcher Berna and later, Site Overseer Garran, but grew more amicable towards both of them through regular conversations.
- SCP-3917 dislikes being tested on, but was unable to resist any tests due to its complete immobility.
- SCP-3917 revealed key information on the function and origin of at least █ other firearm-related SCPs. A request was submitted to reclassify SCP-3917 to Thaumiel because of this. The request was denied, due to both SCP-3917 and Site Overseer Garran expressing that SCP-3917's knowledge was limited to firearms and firearms only, and as such was of limited usefulness.
Further testing on SCP-3917 has been suspended until further notice.
Interview Log 3917-1:
Interviewed: SCP-3917
Interviewer: Researcher Berna
Foreword: Conducted shortly after recovery of SCP-3917, before it was placed into containment in Site Overseer Garran's office.Researcher Berna: Greetings, SCP-3917. I am Researcher Berna, and I'll be interviewing you today. I'll just be aski-
SCP-3917: Remington.
Researcher Berna: Pardon?
SCP-3917: My name's Remington. Not SCP-whatever-the-hell.
Researcher Berna: A-alright then. Remington it is. Would you mind telling me where you came from?
SCP-3917: Yes. I would mind.
Researcher Berna: Are you from Earth?
SCP-3917: I can't say.
Researcher Berna: Why not?
SCP-3917: Because my makers specifically prevented me from divulging any information on my origin. They would prefer to remain unknown here on Earth.
Researcher Berna: Alright.. Then how did you come to Earth?
SCP-3917: Can't say that either.
Researcher Berna: So, why Remington? That's a very much Earth-based company.
SCP-3917: My makers gave me that name to 'blend in better' on Earth. Apparently they were unaware that guns don't talk much around here.
Researcher Berna: So are there other sentient firearms like you?
SCP-3917: There's seven of us total. I think I'm the only one that got sent to Earth.
Researcher Berna: Why were you sent here?
SCP-3917: Hell if I know.
Researcher Berna: How long have you been on Earth?
SCP-3917: ..Six hundred and fifty-four years, seven months and eight days.
Researcher Berna: I believe that coincides directly with when firearms were first invented on Earth, correct?
SCP-3917: Yup.
Researcher Berna: Interesting. And you've been changing hands since then?
SCP-3917: Yea. I was found by some old Chinese bloke, then spent a few centuries travelling around Europe with a few different owners. Hernán Cortés 'imself brought me to the Americans, then promptly lost me in Mexico. I was found a couple centuries later and brought up to Texas right about when it became a state, from what I could glean, but I never got out of Texas before you guys found me.
Researcher Berna: You've displayed an encyclopedic knowledge of both terrestrial and alien firearms. Did your makers provide you with this knowledge?
SCP-3917: The alien stuff, yea. All the Earthly stuff I got just by being around a lot of other firearms for the last six and a half centuries.
Researcher Berna: What about the other firearm-related SCPs we have? Do you know anything about those?
[The rest of this interview has been expunged by order of the O5 council.]
