Per 
SCP #: xxxx
Object Class: Safe
Object Description: A Vinyl Record printed in 1979 containing The Cars debut album. When track four titled I'm in Touch with Your World is listened to it forces the listener to hear it perpetually unless listening to different music. This object should be kept in a locked box at all times unless Dr. Birde or a D-Class need to listen to it for further study. SCP xxxx also has the affect of stopping it's listeners from aging a week after listening to it.This album is an audiohazard.
Object History: SCP #xxxx was originally bought by Jack Browne on December 14, 1979. Jack Browne gifted SCP xxxx to his son, Thomas Browne as a Christmas present. Two months after purchasing the album Timothy Browne was sent to a therapist for his inability to stop hearing the song. His therapist then recommended him to an asylum, where he currently resides.The album was later sold at a garage sale to Dr. Juniper Birde in good condition on September 17, 2009. A week after listening Dr. Birde learned of the anomalous properties contained in SCP xxxx.
Interview with Dr. Birde:
"Dr. Birde, can you tell me how you came to acquire SCP xxxx?"
"Yeah. I found it at a garage sale and it was priced at $1:00, which I felt was rediculously good considering the mint condition the album was in, especially considering how kick ass it is." Dr. Birde explains excitedly.
"Dr. Birde, when did you first discover that SCP xxxx contains anomalous properties?"
"I was trying to get YYZ in my head, which is usually pretty easy for my self as that song is a total earworm. When I found that I could, but it didn't get rid of the song I realized that it was probably an audiohazard of some sort, at which point I took it here for studies." She explains to the interviewer.
"Dr. Birde, how did you discover the solution to SCP xxxx?"
"I'm a melomaniac, and as such, listen to a truly absurd amount of music daily. Once I figured out that actively listening to other songs could get it out of my head I started using it," Dr. Birde states before accusing the interviewer, "and by the way, you guys need to send me a response quickly as to wether or not I'm allowed to use an mp3 most times."
"How did you discover the second anomalous property of SCP xxxx?"
"I discovered it through my own lack of aging. I listen to SCP xxxx frequently as a result of my working with it, and after a few years I realized that I wasn't aging as quickly as I should be. I figured out the time limit for it by using highly accurate testing of the death and repair rate of cells on D- Class"
"Dr. Birde, that is all, feel free to enjoy the rest of your day."
Interview with Thomas Browne:
"How did you first come into contact with this album?" The interviewer sets the album on the table.
"My dad got it for me for Christmas when I was 15."
"What has your experience with the album been?"
"I loved that album when I first got it, listening to it practically all the time for the first week after I got it. Only after that did I notice that I just couldn't get this song out of my head. It's permanently stuck in here, on repeat. I still listen to that album from time to time but I always skip the song," Thomas explains as he carefully lifts up the album.
"Do you find listening to other music helps?"
"Yeah, that's the only time when I can get it out of my head, but they limit the amount of music time I get here to about an hour daily."
"Thank you for your time, Mr. Browne."
"No worries man."
Test Log as tested by Dr. Birde:
Experiment 1: Amnestics
3 D- Class personnel with a strong aversion to music were given one of the following Amnestics after listening to SCP xxxx to see if it could remove SCP xxxx from their minds.
D- Class xxx was given Class A Amnestics to remove the song. D xxx reported no recollection of having listened to the album but still reported the song playing in his head.
D- Class yyy was given Class B Amnestics directly following listening to SCP xxxx, and like D- Class xxx still reported hearing SCP xxxx despite not being able to recall listening to the album.
D- Class zzz was given Class C Amnestics after listening to SCP xxxx and still reported hearing the song with no recollection that the album itself exists.
Test results show that Amnestics are unable to remove SCP xxxx from an individual's mind after listening to it.
Experiment 2: Death
In this experiment Dr. Bright was asked to listen to this album to see if SCP xxxx would still affect him post martem. Three days after listening to SCP xxxx Dr. Bright died. Dr. Bright showed no signs of SCP xxxx affecting him after death.
This experiment shows that death can remove the affects of SCP xxxx.
Experiment 3: Ambient Noise
Following Experiment 1 all D- Class involved were given different recordings of ambient noise to see if it would temporarily nullify the affects of SCP xxxx.
D- Class xxx listened to a recording of songbirds. It proved effective in nullifying the affects of SCP xxxx.
D- Class yyy listened to a recording of waves crashing against a beach. It proved ineffective in removing the affects of SCP xxxx.
D- Class zzz listened to a recording of orcas. It proved effective in nullifying the affect of SCP xxxx.
Further testing is required on ambient noise.
Experiment 4: Aging
All three D-Class were administered daily testing for cell decay and replacement. Cell death was found to have completely stopped up to eight days after listening to SCP xxxx, unless directly injured, in which case the recipient of the injury is incapable of healing unless injuries are directly treated.
Test results indicate that it is possible to have functional immortality if continuously listened to, although it renders one incapable of self healing. It is not recommended to frequently listen to SCP xxxx for this reason.
Experiment 5: Recordings
Recordings of SCP xxxx were made using cassette, vinyl, and digital recordings to see if the effects can be transferred. D- Class www listened to each of these recordings and reported no affects that one would get from listening to SCP xxxx directly.
These results show that SCP xxxx is safe when not listened to directly.
Personal Audio Logs as recorded by Dr. Birde:
"So, I just finished experiment one today,and there goes all of my hopes of a fast and easy recovery. Yay. Honestly, I feel bad for those D- Class, I mean, can you imagine what it would be like to hate music and be forced to listen to a Talking Heads esque song constantly?! I mean, I struggle with it and I even like that song. But it was necessary, as predisposition to enjoying music means that they could have identified the effects incorrectly. Anywho, Juniper out!"
" I just got done with Experiment 2, and might I just say that Jack is impossible to work with. Sure he's compliant, but he enjoys messing with me research just a bit too much for my liking. Anyways, I'm glad to report that this was a success, death can remove the affects. It a drastic but it would work. I also got my music player confiscated today, which sucks. Don't get me wrong, I love The Cars, but there's only so much I can listen to in regards to their weirdness. Anyways, Juniper, out!"
"Yahallo, it's me again. I get that my friends suggest I make this to help me, and honestly, I can see it's benefit. It certainly beats talking the ears off the D-Class they assigned me. Might I just say that Experent 3 was the most interesting one yet. I can only hypothesize that the reason the songbirds and orcas were successful was because the contain 'si ging', while the waves do not. I need to do more research. Juniper out!"
"Experiment 4. People have always said I look young, but when I haven't been aging for over ten years it's easy to see why. I can't believe it took me this long to figure out. It also explains why paper cuts have been the worst thing to deal with for the last decade. Juniper, out."
"Experiment 5. Can I just say that the best part about this whole thing was learning how to record analog, cause that was interesting. Turns out SCP xxxx isn't transferred through recordings, leading me to believe thaty copy may be the original, or just slightly warped in such a way that it contains anomalous properties
If it is the first that means that SCP xxxx may be something else that just so happened to get recorded in with the song, and if that's the case, I'll need to find it. Juniper, out!"
