Per 
Item #: SCP-P373R-J
Object Class: Euclid Keter
Special Containment Procedures:
SCP-P373R-J-1 is to be kept in a humanoid containment cell with soundproof walls and no windows on Site [REDACTED]. A minimum of 2 guards armed with standard issue assault rifles are to stand watch outside of SCP-P373R-J-1's containment cell at all times. Under no circumstance is anyone allowed to refer to SCP-P373R-J-1 by its true name or communicate with it in any way unless given permission from a Foundation researcher with a security clearance level 4 or higher. Anyone attempting to communicate with SCP-P373R-J-1 without proper clearance is to be immediately terminated.
Additionally, no devices that are capable of accessing the internet, such as cell phones, laptop computers, tablets, etc. are permitted within 1 kilometer of SCP-P373R-J-1's containment site unless given proper clearance. SCP-P373R-J-1 is to be given meals from the cafeteria at least 3 times a day, and personell are permitted to give SCP-P373R-J-1 additional food upon request.
Social media and forums sites are to be constantly monitored for instances of SCP-P373R-J-3. If any are discovered, they are to be immediately taken down and by no means is anyone allowed to "like", "upvote", or share them.
Description:
SCP-P373R-J is a collection of various anomalous entities. SCP-P373R-J-1 appears to be a middle aged caucasian male of average height and overweight build. He speaks in what resembles a New England accent, and claims that his true name is [REDACTED] and that he's the father of a lower-middle class family in [REDACTED], Rhode Island. SCP-P373R-J-1 shows no anomalous properties until it hears itself being referred to by name. When such an event occurs, the eyes of SCP-P373R-J-1 will suddenly emit an extremely bright light, enough to cause temporary blindness in those viewing the event. Additionally, another humanoid figure, designated SCP P373R-J-2, will suddenly appear somewhere within 3 meters of SCP-P373R-J-1. SCP-P373R-J-2 appears to be a middle aged caucasian male in a wheelchair and has a disproportionately large, muscular upper body. SCP-P373R-J-2 does not appear to be affected by the brightness of SCP-P373R-J-1's eyes in any way. Upon SCP-P373R-J-2's manifesation, the following events will occur:
- SCP-P373R-J-2 will greet SCP-P373R-J-1 by saying "Hey [REDACTED]," (referring to SCP-P373R-J-1 by name).
- SCP-P373R-J-1 will then respond with "Yes [REDACTED] from [DATA EXPUNGED]?"
- SCP-P373R-J-2 will then say something shocking or offensive to SCP-P373R-J-1. Examples of these responses include: "Get [EXPLETIVE REDACTED]", "Spell [DATA EXPUNGED]", and "You're a fat [EXPLETIVE REDACTED]!"
- SCP-P373R-J-1 will respond "Holy [EXPLETIVE REDACTED]!" and ask viewers of the event to "like" for a reward of some sort.
- After SCP-P373R-J-1 offers a reward to viewers, SCP-P373R-J-2 will vanish, SCP-P373R-J-1's eyes will no longer emit light, and SCP-P373R-J-1 will return to its inactive state with seemingly no recollection of the event.
Note: Most of these rewards are completely harmless, but they are unpredictable and further testing is needed to determine the potential risk they can pose, hence the Euclid classification. It is highly unpredictable what rewards SCP-P373R-J-1 will offer, as they can be objects that aren't found within our reality, such as models of iPhones that do not exist, and can range from harmless to highly dangerous. SCP-P373R-J is estimated to have caused [REDACTED] deaths worldwide (See incident log I-P373R-A). Following incident P373R-A, SCP-P373R-J was updated to Keter class.
SCP-P373R-J-1 uses a series of internet memes, designated SCP P373R-J-3, to deliver its rewards to those that "like" the meme corresponding to the event within 24 hours of the event occurring. When a user "likes" an image within the time frame, the reward offered by SCP-P373R-J-1 will suddenly manifest near them. These memes exist in a variety of places on the internet including forum sites and social media platforms, so containment is extremely difficult.
Incident Log I-P373R-A
Foreword: Dr. [REDACTED] scheduled a testing session with SCP-P373R-J-1 on
[REDACTED]. Particularly, Dr. [REDACTED] was doing research on the humanity of
SCP-P373R-J-1. The following footage was recorded from a surveillance camera within
SCP-P373R-J-1's cell.BEGIN LOG
(Dr. [REDACTED] enters room)
SCP P373R-J-1: Hey doc, can I go home now? (laughs)
Dr. [REDACTED]: Not yet unfortunately, we still have some tests we need to run.
SCP-P373R-J-1: Aw shucks doc, it's getting real lonely in here. I just wanna go home
and meet [REDACTED] (SCP-P373R-J-2) and [REDACTED] at the [REDACTED].
Boy, we've had some good times in that booth. (laughs for an unnaturally long period of time)Dr. [REDACTED]: Can you stop that?
SCP-P373R-J-1: Stop what, doc? (continues laughing)
Dr. [REDACTED]: That laugh, it's making it quite difficult to focus on my research.
SCP-P373R-J-1: (laughs)
Dr. [REDACTED]: Stop it!
SCP-P373R-J-1: (laughs)
Dr. [REDACTED]: Damn it, [REDACTED]! (Dr. [REDACTED] referred to SCP-P373R-J-1 by name)
SCP-P373R-J-1: Uh oh, here I go again!
Dr. [REDACTED]: Oh shi-
(SCP-P373R-J-1's eyes begin emitting light and Dr. [REDACTED] is blinded)
Dr. [REDACTED]: AHH! MY FUCKING EYES!
(SCP-P373R-J-2 appears)
SCP-P373R-J-2: Hey [REDACTED].
SCP-P373R-J-1: Yes [REDACTED] from [DATA EXPUNGED]?
SCP-P373R-J-2: You fat [EXPLETIVE REDACTED]!
SCP-P373R-J-1: Holy [EXPLETIVE REDACTED]! Like to die instantly!
Dr. [REDACTED]: Fuck, I'm definitely fired.
(SCP-P373R-J-2 vanishes, and SCP-P373R-J-1 returns to its inactive state)
SCP P373R-J-1: So doc, what did I miss? (laughs)
END LOG
Postword: As a result of this event, an estimated [REDACTED] people around the world
suddenly died within the next 24 hours, the Foundation had to use a significant
portion of its funding to suppress media reports relating to these deaths, and
SCP P373R was updated from Euclid to Keter class. As punishment for causing this
event, Dr. [REDACTED] was demoted to class D and fed to SCP-682.
