Item #: SCP-####
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-#### is to be kept in a standard humanoid containment unit located at Site-44. It is to be afforded reasonable privileges as long as it remains cooperative with the Foundation in preventing the spread of SCP-####-2. Should it attempt to pitch any kind of product or service to any Foundation employee, it is to be returned to its cell and the incident logged for review.
MTF Tau-16 (“No Refunds”) are assigned to track down and contain instances of SCP-####-1 and administer Class-A amnestics to any civilians exposed to said instances.
Description: SCP-#### is a 58-year-old Caucasian male identified as Mr. Peter Daughtry of [REDACTED], who has been employed as a salesman with the Amway corporation for the past 29 years. SCP-####-1 is the designation for any product sold after the date of 20/07/2017; SCP-####-2 is the designation for any service sold after the same date. As far as either itself or Foundation investigators have been able to determine, no anomalous properties were in evidence until approximately 20/09/2016.
SCP-#### displays no anomalous qualities, other than spreading SCP-####-1 and -2. Instances of SCP-####-1 and -2 display no extranormal qualities until purchased by a customer. Their anomalous effects activate 12 to 18 hours after such purchase is made.
SCP-####-1: Once the activation time has elapsed, the next time the purchaser uses the product, Mr. Daughtry's voice will sound loudly in the purchaser's vicinity, thanking them for their purchase and advertising other products related to the purchased product, or to upcoming holidays and other major events. This sound has been recorded on several different media.
SCP-####-2: Anomalous effects will occur two to four hours after the service is completed or the activation period elapses, whichever comes second. The content is similar to that of SCP-####-1, varying only in that Mr. Daughtry's voice will recommend relevant services rather than products.
SCP-####-1 and -2 instances provoke extreme annoyance in anyone exposed to them. As per Test ####-13, this effect is presumed to be anomalous in nature, as it still affects those who cannot hear -1 and -2.
SCP-####, at the time of its containment, was at first frightened and uncooperative; however, when informed of the purpose of the Foundation and the reason for its containment, SCP-#### began aiding Foundation efforts to contain SCP-####-1 and -2. It has expressed a desire to be free of its anomalous effects.
All logs were recorded in laboratory conditions and date from after the containment of SCP-####.
Test Number: ####-4
Supervising Staff: Dr. Cooper
Timestamp: 15/11/2017, 16:34
Description: D-22311 and SCP-#### engaged in a supervised transaction on 15/10/2017. D-22311 purchased a single copy of the novel Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. D-22311 did not interact with the purchased novel until the time of the test.
Transcript:
D-22311 enters the testing chamber, in which the purchased novel rests on a table.
D-22311: So I just read the book, right?
Dr. Cooper: That's correct.
D-22311 picks up the novel and opens it to the title page. SCP-####-1 manifests immediately.
SCP-####-1: Greetings, Ms. Corey! Thank you for purchasing this exciting novel!
D-22311 drops the novel and places her hands over her ears. SCP-####-1 registers as a 114-decibel sound, approaching the pain threshold for humans.
SCP-####-1: If you enjoy this book, consider purchasing others like it, such as The Eye of the World by Robert Jordan, Sword of Shannara by Terry Brooks, or The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien. If you have any comments or complaints, contact Peter Daughtry via your local Amway office.
SCP-####-1 falls silent. D-22311 is evaluated afterward and observed to be physically unharmed, though she reports a ringing sensation in her ears and expresses a strong desire to find SCP-#### and inflict harm upon its person. Test log ends.
Test Number: ####-13
Supervising Staff: Dr. Cooper, Research Assistant Wilken
Timestamp: 04/02/2018, 09:22
Description: On 02/02/2018, D-22358 engaged in a supervised transaction with SCP-####. D-22358 has been deaf since birth due to a congenital defect. D-22358 purchased a single Clif-brand protein bar. D-22358 did not interact with the bar until the time of the test.
Transcript:
D-22358 enters the testing chamber. Research Assistant Wilken communicates with him in sign language, instructing him to open and consume the Clif bar. D-22358 signs back acquiescence and opens the bar. Upon D-22358 biting into the bar, SCP-####-1 activates.
SCP-####-1: Hello, Mr. Tate, and thank you for purchasing this Clif protein bar! It gives you the energy you need to break through your limits and keep on going!
D-22358 does not visibly react to SCP-####-1, which registers as a 113-decibel sound, similar to previous tests.
SCP-####-1: For that burst of hydration you need during those tough workouts, why not look into our wide range of sports drinks? Or, to take your fitness game to the next level, check out our selection of exercise equipment and accessories! If you have any comments or complaints, contact Peter Daughtry via your local Amway office.
SCP-####-1 falls silent. Post-test interviews indicate that while D-22358 was unable to hear SCP-####-1, he still experienced a strong desire to, in his own words, "kick the shit out of that asshole". SCP-####-1's property of causing annoyance is now thought to be a memetic effect. Transcript ends.