joeydotrawr

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: Containment of SCP-XXXX requires monitoring of all web related items tagged with #Holiday, #DIY, #Easy-to-do, #Home-Made, #Rustic, #Family, #Simple, #Craft, #Party-Favor, or #Kid-Friendly. Web related items that contain the aforementioned tags are to be documented and scanned for cognitohazards.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a cognitohazard that appears as a commonly seen "Holiday DIY Project" on prominent craft websites. The physical appearance of SCP-XXXX varies. The project thumbnail never repeats itself despite the project instructions remaining static set of tasks. Previous thumbnails include:

  • A deciduous tree roughly 1 meter in height, crafted from household materials.
  • The interior of a timber built traveler's lodge.
  • 18 Polar dwelling animals standing in a circular pattern.
  • A bedroom designed entirely from ice.

Subjects who have come into contact with SCP-XXXX describe browsing a website before clicking on a project link. Subjects were then directed by the project to an outside URL containing a rudimentary page hosted by GeoCities, at which point SCP-XXXX provides an excessive dose of dopamine to the subject resulting in a state of euphoria. These effects continue as the subject completes the tasks indicated on the project page. Due to the extreme dose of dopamine, subjects exhibit a high likelihood of developing a chemical reliance on SCP-XXXX.

The effects of SCP-XXXX do not have the ability to overwrite self preservation. However subjects who suffer from chemical dependency are prone to taking on unnecessary risks in order to complete SCP-XXXX tasks, occasionally leading to a harmful or fatal outcome.

LOG OF KNOWN TASKS

Date Task Given
12/10/18 Write the words "TEAM" in the center of a white sheet of paper.
12/10/18 Prepare A Dinner And Set Out 5 Plates With accompanying Wine
12/10/18 Line The Edge Of 12 Paper Plates With 12 Feathers each.
12/19/18 Draw A Solid Black Line Through The Word TEAM From Step One.
12/20/18 Play The 1948 Album "Christmas Songs" By Frank Sinatra Without Interruption.
12/21/18 Hand Deliver A Letter Containing The Words "She Doesn't Love You." To Your Own Address.
12/22/18 Line The Edge Of 1 Paper Plate With 12 Yellow Feathers.
12/23/18 Empty The Contents Of Your Wallet Into A "The Jimmy Fund" Collection Box.
12/23/18 Have A Glass Of Red Wine In A Public Setting While Proclaiming To Be The Incarnation Of Ebenezer Scrooge.
12/23/18 Create A Liter Of Eggnog Containing Pumpkin Spice, Flunitrazepam, And Peppermint.
12/23/18 Acquire 13 Red Oak Planks And Line Them Up On A Flat Surface. Paint A Red X On Each.
12/23/18 Place 5 Uniform Birch Branches In A Bundle. Bind Them With Jute Twine.
12/23/18 Light 13 Candles And Place Them On 13 Window Sills.
12/23/18 Ask The Bundle Of Birch To Beg For Forgiveness.
12/23/18 Bind Two Planks Marked With A Red "X" Together, Drive A Nail Through The Top Of Each.
12/23/18 Wrap The Remaining Planks With Red and Green Flashing Holiday Lights.
12/23/18 Using A Yellow Candle And Kerosene, Set The Bundle Of Birch To Burn.
12/24/18 Drive A Nail Through The Top Of The 11 Remaining Planks.
12/24/18 Create A Frozen Statue Out Of A Willing Participant.
12/24/18 Wait For Them To Arrive.
▶Addendum 1