Kayexe

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Item#: XXXX

Level3

Containment Class:

esoteric

Secondary Class:

cernnunos

Disruption Class:

dark

Risk Class:

caution

link to memo

---

Assigned Site

---

Site-397

Site Director

---

Dr. Zamolo

Research Head

---

Dr. Slater

Assigned MTF

---

Xi-24

---

Special Containment Procedures:
Due to the possibility of accidental neutralization of SCP-XXXX and components/entities residing within its premises, complete containment of the object is impossible. Specialized containment procedures have been put in place to ensure that the civilian population does not become aware of SCP-XXXX's anomalous effects.

SCP-XXXX is to remain closed at all times, and is only to be used for testing purposes. Guards are to be placed at the entrance of SCP-XXXX and at the entrance of SCP-XXXX-A, to ensure that no civilians enter the property. Any civilians who attempt to enter SCP-XXXX are to be immediately detained, questioned, and subsequently released. Should any civilians enter SCP-XXXX-A, they are to be immediately detained, amnesticized and released by SCP-XXXX-ALPHA. Any other entities observed to exit SCP-XXXX-A (excluding SCP-XXXX-ALPHA) are to be immediately terminated via incendiary device.

---

Description:
SCP-XXXX is a location for the well-known fast-food restaurant chain, Popeyes. The physical structure and chemical composition of items found inside of it bear no remarkable differences from items found inside a non-anomalous instance of the restaurant. A cashier, multiple chefs, and cleaners are present inside of SCP-XXXX, but no instance of which has been observed to exit the building. Research is pending as to whether or not these beings are sentient humans.

SCP-XXXX is located in Chicago, Illinois, near O'Hare International Airport. It is unknown which organization or individual constructed SCP-XXXX, but it is speculated that the object had been constructed instantaneously via anomalous means. This claim is evidenced by the fact that the restaurant did not exist before 12:00 PM on 2-17-2018. Despite this, no reports of anomalous events were reported by citizens in the area at that time.

The primary anomalous property of SCP-XXXX manifests when an individual enters the object and purchases a biscuit. Upon exiting, the individual will find themselves in an extradimensional location, hereby designated as SCP-XXXX-A. SCP-XXXX-A resembles a desert of indeterminate size. The average ambient temperature of SCP-XXXX-A is constantly at 40 degrees Celsius, experiencing no observed fluctuations in temperature.. Once entered, individuals are unable to exit SCP-XXXX-A. Individuals will only be able to exit SCP-XXXX-A on the anniversary of the opening of SCP-XXXX.

SCP-XXXX-A contains multiple oases, which contain large amounts of "vegetation". This vegetation is largely composed out of French fries, fried chicken, biscuits, fried chicken sandwiches, and cups filled with various soft drinks, with lakes composed entirely out of gravy. Several entities reside within SCP-XXXX-A, numbered accordingly from -1 to -6.

ACCESS ENTITY REPORTS

• SCP-XXXX-1 are large creatures resembling biscuits. SCP-XXXX-1 instances constantly hover at a height of 10 meters, and are capable of performing basic flight maneuvers. SCP-XXXX-1 instances are generally docile, with the exception of a select few instances.SCP-XXXX-1 instances do not seem to require sustenance.

• SCP-XXXX-2 are large arachnoid entities resembling members of the species Lycosidae¹. However, instances of SCP-XXXX-2 possess multiple differences in anatomy from normal specimens of this species. The abdomens and thoraxes of instances of SCP-XXXX-2 resemble large biscuits, and all 8 digits on SCP-XXXX-2 instances' body are composed of large french fries. Instances of SCP-XXXX-2 are highly predatory, and will attack and consume other entities as a possible demonstration of dominance.

• SCP-XXXX-3 are small avian entities resembling russet potatoes. Instances of SCP-XXXX-3 members of the species Strix aluco². Instances of SCP-XXXX-3 possess multiple carvings on the surface of their "skin". These carvings imitate eternal organs and extremities. The legs and feet of SCP-XXXX-3 instances are composed out of french fries, rather than carvings. SCP-XXXX-3 instances engage in photosynthesis, rather than achieving sustenance via normal means for a member of its species.

• SCP-XXXX-4 are small creatures resembling fried jumbo shrimp. SCP-XXXX-4 instances reside entirely inside the lakes of the many oases found in SCP-XXXX-A. Due to the environment in which instances of SCP-XXXX-4 reside in, little information can be gathered regarding habits, food consumption processes, diet information, etc.

• SCP-XXXX-5 are large lupine creatures resembling members of the species Canis lupus³. Instances of SCP-XXXX-5 are composed entirely out of a substance resembling gravy. Studies are ongoing as to how SCP-XXXX-5 instances are capable of retaining their form despite being composed entirely out of liquid. SCP-XXXX-5 instances are highly predatory creatures and have been observed attacking and consuming other entities residing within SCP-XXXX-A. Despite this, SCP-XXXX-5 instances do not convey aggression towards human individuals.

• SCP-XXXX-6 are entities resembling members of the species Nepenthes⁴. SCP-XXXX-6 instances resemble large cups⁵ filled with various soft drinks, and on occasion, sweet tea. It is unknown how instances of SCP-XXXX-6 gain sustenance, as there are no entities residing in SCP-XXXX-A small enough to fit inside of them. It is hypothesized that rather than a normal member of its species, SCP-XXXX-6 instances gain sustenance via photosynthesis, however.

---

Discovery:

SCP-XXXX was discovered on 2-19-2018, in Chicago illinois. Personnel were called to investigate the location after a report of an entity similar in nature to a "large flying biscuit" inside of SCP-XXXX was made. Upon entering, personnel were violently attacked by this entity, leaving one severely injured. This individual was taken to a nearby hospital. However, personnel were able to neutralize the entity and amnesticize any witnesses to the event.

After neutralizing the entity, an unnamed individual who was a member of foundation personnel proceeded to purchase a meal which happened to include a biscuit. All other personnel proceeded to do so as well⁶. Upon finishing their meals, the personnel members exited the restaurant and into SCP-XXXX-A.

All members immediately displayed extreme distress and confusion and subsequently alerted other personnel back at Site-72 about an anomaly. Backup was called in, and was instructed by the trapped personnel to buy a meal. The personnel who were called as backup also became trapped within SCP-XXXX-A and subsequently informed all other personnel they could about the anomaly. Approximately 5 minutes after, an entity which is presumed to be an instance of SCP-XXXX-2 attacked and subsequently killed all members.

---

Addendum XXXX-ALPHA
SCP-XXXX-ALPHA is a humanoid entity approximately 1.8 meters in height residing within SCP-XXXX-A. SCP-XXXX-ALPHA resembles a member of the species Gallus gallus domesticus⁷. SCP-XXXX-ALPHA is capable of human speech and typically speaks in a southern accent. The entity will attempt to converse with human individuals, should it see one.

Upon entering an oasis or area with live entities in SCP-XXXX-A, all organisms and entities inside of the oasis or area at that time will move to the location of SCP-XXXX-ALPHA, and perform a gesture similar to bowing or kneeling. This behavior will continue for approximately 5 seconds before the entities will return to performing the actions they were before SCP-XXXX-ALPHA entered the oasis. SCP-XXXX-ALPHA generally resides at the back of the entrance to SCP-XXXX-A, although it has been seen sitting at the top of the entrance, facing the "northernmost" section of SCP-XXXX-A. SCP-XXXX-ALPHA is the only entity capable of exiting SCP-XXXX-A at any time of the year.

---

Interview log XXXX-ALPHA:

Interviewed: SCP-XXXX-ALPHA

Interviewer: Dr. Slater

Foreword: None.

<Begin Log, [ 8:24 PM CST ]>

Slater: Hello SCP-XXXX-ALPHA.

SCP-XXXX-ALPHA: Howdy do!

Slater: Okay, so I have a few questions for you, if that's alright.

SCP-XXXX-ALPHA: Yep, ask away!

Slater: So, where did you come from?

SCP-XXXX-ALPHA: Oof. That's a hard one. I just, started existin'!

Slater: What do you mean by "started existing"?

SCP-XXXX-ALPHA: I don't know, I just went "poof!" and here I am.

Slater: Interesting.

SCP-XXXX-ALPHA: Yup!

Slater: Alright. Next question. What is SCP-XXXX-A?

SCP-XXXX-ALPHA: That's an easy one. It's Biscuitlandia!

Slater: Biscuitlandia?

SCP-XXXX-ALPHA: Yes sir! Biscuitlandia is the first kingdom of the 3 Chickens. And I rule over it!

Slater: What are the "3 Chickens" you speak of?

SCP-XXXX-ALPHA: They're the 3 kingdoms in Henopolis!

Slater: What's Henopolis, exactly?

SCP-XXXX-ALPHA: Do I have to explain everythin' to you?

Slater: Well, yes.

SCP-XXXX-ALPHA: Fine. Henopolis is the continent the three kingdoms live on!

Slater: Interesting. Are there any more continents?

SCP-XXXX-ALPHA: Nah, it's just us.

Slater: Hmm, now what are the other two kingdoms?

SCP-XXXX-ALPHA: The other two are The Church of Church's, and The Land of the Raising Cane!

Slater: Can you explain about them?

SCP-XXXX-ALPHA: Yep, sure! The Church of Church's is this big, big, BIG church. they praise some sort of "gravy god" or somethin' like that. The guys livin' over there are like little chicken tenders with cute little fry arms and legs and stuff. They don't really like us folks over here in Biscuitlandia though.

Slater: Have you ever had any altercations with them before?

SCP-XXXX-ALPHA: Plenty. We once had a big war!

Slater: Tell me about that.

SCP-XXXX-ALPHA: Well for one, it was big. They were too weak to fight us themselves, so they sent Tender Worms to do it.

Slater: What are Tender Worms?

SCP-XXXX-ALPHA: They're just big livin' chicken tenders! They just absorb stuff.

Slater: Odd. Did you win the war?

SCP-XXXX-ALPHA: Yes sir! You know how birds like worms, don't you? Me and my crew destroyed em'! Delicious!

Slater: What about The Land of the Raising Cane?

SCP-XXXX-ALPHA: We probably shouldn't talk about them. They are one bunch of murderous folk.

Slater: Would sending a team of MTF to their location be a good idea?

SCP-XXXX-ALPHA: Nope, it would pretty much be a suicide mission.

Slater: Okay. Do you possibly have any idea who created you?

SCP-XXXX-ALPHA: Not necessarily, but I do have a name or somethin' in the back of my head.

Slater: What is it?

SCP-XXXX-ALPHA: I think it was like, "Fredérik" or somethin'. I don't know.

Slater: Okay. Thank you for your time.

SCP-XXXX-ALPHA: No problemo!

<End Log, [ 8:48 PM CST ]>

Closing Statement: Investigations into an individual going by the name of Fredérik are undergoing. No further interviews were conducted with SCP-XXXX-ALPHA.

Incident XXXX:

On 8-10-2020, a large note materialized on the far right wall of the dining area within SCP-XXXX. This is the note.

I see you have spoken with the "Chicking" as I like to call him. Unfortunately, you will not get any other valuable information from him about me, so you can stop trying- well, if you even were in the first place. Oh, and I forgot to mention, this "SCP" as you call it is what you get for even thinking about buying those oh so dry biscuits. I bid you all adieu.

-Fredérik

NOTE: No other anomalous activity has been reported regarding this individual since, although it is likely that this will change.

Exploration log XXXX-1:

ASSIGNED RESEARCHER: Dr. Hassan

DATE OF EXPLORATION: 3-28-2021

MTF CAPTAIN: Xi-24-1

FOREWORD: 5 members of MTF-Xi-24 were tasked to locate the "Church of Church's" that SCP-XXXX-ALPHA had mentioned in Interview log XXXX-ALPHA. When questioned as to the location of this place, SCP-XXXX-ALPHA strongly advised against attempting to go there. When questioned as to why, SCP-XXXX-ALPHA replied with the answer of: "They really, really don't like outsiders."

However, SCP-XXXX-ALPHA began to reluctantly give directions to the location before wishing well to MTF-Xi-24. MTF-Xi-24 were given an adequate amount of food, water, and other supplies to last for at least a week before entering SCP-XXXX-A.

[BEGIN LOG]

MTF-Xi-24 enter SCP-XXXX and each member purchases a singular biscuit. Upon exiting the building, all members enter SCP-XXXX-A

Xi-24-1: Alright, we're in.

Dr. Hassan: Good. Now head north. I'll tell you guys when to stop.

Xi-24-1: Roger that.

Approximately an hour elapses. No abnormal activity is reported.

Dr. Hassan: Alright, you all can stop now.

Xi-24-1: Alright doc, where do we go now?

Dr. Hassan: Head to the east. Once again, I will tell you when to stop.

**Xi-24-1: You got i- Wait a minute.

Dr. Hassan: What seems to be the issue?

Xi-24-1: There's a big spider or something out in the distance. Wait. Is it coming towards us?

Dr. Hassan: Oh my. There seems to be an instance of SCP-XXXX-2 heading your way. Only attack it if it attacks you. We don't want SCP-XXXX-ALPHA getting angry at us for killing these creatures for no reason.

Xi-24-1: You got it.

Xi-24-3; You sure about this, doc?

Dr. Hassan: I'm positive.

Approximately a minute elapses.

Xi-24-1: Yeah, so the spider thing is here now, but it just sat here in the sand right next to us.

Dr. Hassan: What do you mean by that?

Xi-24-1: Uh, it's just laying here in the sand, not doing anything.

Dr. Hassan: That's… strange. I'll keep a record of that. Anyways, keep moving.

Approximately 2 hours elapses.

Dr. Hassan: What the- Hey guys. Stop moving. We have detected a large unidentified mass heading your way.

Xi-24-1: What the heck is that thing? JESUS-

A loud rumbling sound is heard over Xi-24-1's microphone along with a sound similar to a choir singing.

Xi-24-1: FIRE AT IT!

A loud roar is heard, along with gunshots.

Dr. Hassan: Xi-24-1, what do you see?

Xi-24-1: They're like massive chicken tenders!

Dr. Hassan: Excuse me?

Xi-24-1: Yeah! HOLY-

Xi-24-1's microphone, as well as the microphones of all of the other members of Xi-24 simultaneously cut out. At the same time, the vital signs of all of the members are lost. All members of MTF-Xi-24 are declared deceased.

[END LOG]

Incident XXXX-2:

On 3-29-2020, another note materialized on the far right wall of the dining area within SCP-XXXX.

The Chicking told you not to go to the Church of Church's, and this is what you got. You should have listened to him! Also, I'm working on another fun thing that you people might enjoy containing… Au revoir!

-Fredérik

Security concerns regarding a new anomaly being generated by this individual were greatly raised after this message was sent. In response to this, multiple satellites were launched into earth's lower atmosphere in order to scan for anomalous activity.

Footnotes

1. Wolf spiders.

2. Tawny owls.

3. Grey Wolves.

4. Pitcher Plants.

5. Specifically cups resembling ones produced by the restaurant, Popeyes.

6. It is to be of note that all of said meals contained at least one biscuit.

7. Chickens.