Item #: SCP-045-J "The Pen"
Object Class: Safe Euclid Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-045-J is to remain on Researcher ██████████'s desk. It is NOT to be used on any important documents or any material that can handle ink.
Description: SCP-045-J is a standard Mi█████ pen, previously used by students at A██████ ██████ ███████. It has no physical discernible abnormalities, bar a label that reads [REDACTED]. However when SCP-045-J is used on important documents, the pen WILL STOP WORKING FOR SOME ANOMALOUS REASON! LET ME DO MY DAMN PAPERWORK! The anomalous effects appear to only affect documents deemed "important" to the user.
Any unfinished Foundation documents that come into contact with SCP-045-J will be impossible to complete, no matter what attempts are made. Completed documents will mysteriously have a soaking wet ink stain that renders the document unusable. However, the most anomalous thing about SCP-045-J is that even though the object appears to have ink, the ink in question can not be transferred on to paper, no matter HOW HARD I PUSH DOWN AND SCRIBBLE, ITS STILL NOT WORKING. I WILL SLAUGHTER THE FAMILY OF WHOEVER MADE THIS I SWEAR TO GOD! Further Testing may is required.
Addendum #1: After Agent [REDACTED] mistakenly used SCP-045-J in an attempt to sign a promotion letter, he became increasingly agitated in his attempt to make the object work, resulting in the death and the serious injury of ██ personnel. This was an unexpected reaction to SCP-045-J and it will be investigated thoroughly.
Addendum #2: Even though it was completely secure on Researcher ██████████'s desk, when he returned from a healthy happy lunch that did most definitely not contain Ice Cream or Dori██'s, he discovered that it was missing from his desk. After Site-██ was placed in Lock-Down, it was discovered in the stairwell. How it got there is currently unknown Reclassification pending.
Addendum #2.5: Whilst Agent [REDACTED] was undercover at his local pub, he attempted to sign a cheque. The pen the Agent was using proceeded to display the anomalous features of SCP-045-J. Being the responsible Agent he is, he definitely did not go on a murderous rampage that killed ██ civilians. Instead his head simply imploded from a strange metal object that definitely didn't come from any MTF soldier. The pen in question was willingly handed over, and was certainly not prised from the Agent's cold dead fingers. In any case, the pen is now designated SCP-045-J-2. After this discovery, Researcher [REDACTED] theorised that there could be numerous SCP-045-J instances around the world. More instances are being discovered everyday. ESPECIALLY WHEN I TRY TO DO MY TAXES MARGE. ITS NOT MY FAULT ITS THE PEN.
Experiment 045-J TEST LOG
Experiment 045-J TEST LOG: A
Subject: D-96024421
Procedure: Subject instructed to pick up SCP-045-J.
Nerds Researchers are observing eagerly.
Results: No adverse effects occur.
Analysis: Note from Researcher [REDACTED]: Well, uh, that was quite… interesting, to say the least. Not sure what they thought would happen. Who authorized this anyway?
Experiment 045-J TEST LOG: B
Date:1█/1█/20██
Subject:D-69204 (Male, 32, drug possession, murder, GBH)
Procedure: Subject is to be given writing paper and is asked to write a document on the effects of Marijuana and Methamphetamine. A reinforced glass window protects the control room. Subject will be enticed with the possibility of freedom. Two (2) Armed Personnel are to be stationed outside containment chamber.
Results: Subjects complies and picks up SCP-045-J. Subject begins to write on paper. Approximately seven (7) words in, the anomalous effects of SCP-045-J begin. Subject begins to scribble with mild annoyance. Anomalous effects continue. Subject scribbles vigorously, anger apparent on his face. After scribbling for approximately 2█ minutes, subject begins screaming stating "[EXPLETIVE REDACTED]". Subject charges towards the guards. Agent ████ opens fire but is torn apart in a red haze. Subject is screaming about "HOW THERE IS STILL F[EXPLETIVE REDACTED] INK IN THE PEN YET ITS NOT FU[EXPLETIVE REDACTED] WORKING REEEEEE!" After a 2 (two) minute containment breach that consisted of autistic screeching echoing throughout the facility, the anomalous effects wore off and D-69204 was subsequently terminated. His last words consisted of, "Wait, but there was ink in the pen, how the f[EXPLETIVE REDACTED]. WHAT KIND OF SICK TWISTED JOKE IS THIS YOU COLD MOTHERF (Subject terminated)"
Analysis: Note from Researcher [REDACTED]: Um. What? It was just a pen bro. You could of asked for another one. W-what's that? That was the point of the experiment. I dunno man I just start—. Wait is it still recording?
Item #: SCP-7896 "Brad"
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-7896 must be kept in a minimum 15mx15m containment cell with a wall, cell and roof made of at least 15 (fifteen) inches of a Titanium and Iron alloy. SCP-7896 insists on being called 'Brad' and requires multiple (minimum of 4 (four)) Baseball caps, Plain or branded. Standard feeding schedule for a human subject. Energy Drinks of any kind must be kept at least 100m away from its containment cell. See Addendum 1.0 for further information on the incident.
Description: SCP-7896 is a caucausian human male of slightly above average height, approximately 1█ years old, with short curly dirty blonde hair, this is rarely seen due to his unusual tendency to wear baseball caps (backwards). SCP-7896 talks with a stereotypical 'frat' or 'surfer' accent, however, the 'true' dialect of SCP-7896 appears to be Australian, though this cannot be accurately confirmed. The physical appearance of SCP-7896 is not unusal. Despite this, SCP-7896 has been in containment for ██ years and yet has shown no signs of aging. If granted access to ██mg of caffeine, concerning effects begin, resulting in a clear difference from normal humans. These include (but not limited to) bullet resistant skin, canine extensions, remarkable speed (fastest recorded speed from subject was <REDACTED>km/h, and a sudden instinct to slaughter any and all biological substances it comes into contact with provided they are at least 1.4m tall.
A photo recovered from the slaughtered S███ platoon.The camera belonged to Lt ███, and shows SCP-7896 prior to his bloodlust state. Interestingly, without a baseball cap on (though eyewitnesses say the cap was present).
SCP-7896 was first discovered on the ██ of November 196█, during a training exercise by an <DATA EXPUNGED> Platoon in the G███ C████ Hinterland. It is unknown what it was doing so far from civilisation, and as of 1█-02-20██, refuses to answer this question. This first contact led to the deaths of 3█ soldiers across the span of 4 days before the Foundation was called in. Interviews with some of the survivors can be found below.
SCP-7896 has generally been cordial and welcoming with any subjects or Researchers that enter his containment chamber, provided of course no caffiene has been ingested within the last 48hrs. When not in his caffeine fueled state, he exhibits no aggressive tendencies and is routinely engaged in conversation with Researchers.
SCP-7896 is currently contained at Site-45.
Addendum 1.0: Across it's years in containment, Energy drinks have only once been consumed by SCP-7896. This action led to the destruction of it's previous chamber, and led to the deaths of numerous Foundation staff and D-Class. Curiously, some form of intelligence remained during its rampage as upon obtaining the Caffeinated beverage, it was observed via security recordings, to ration the drink for as long as possible. During the containment breach, SCP-7896 appeared to indiscriminately slaughter those he discovered, including those that he had some semblance of liking towards.
Video Interview Log Sierra-4 Part 1
Interviewed: [Lance Coporal J████ ██████]
Interviewer: [Dr S M████]
Foreword: [J████ was immediately brought to Site-45 to give his account over what had happened over the previous days, alongside the other survivors.]
<Begin Log, [2100 1█ -11-196█ ]>
[Dr M████ enters the room and formalities are exchanged between the two, however Lance Corporal J████ is somewhat distant]
Dr M████: Now, I'd like a recount of what precisely happened during the previous days.
J████: [pauses and swallows whilst staring hard at the wall behind the Dr] It was just supposed to be an exercise. We'd only prepared for a two day exercise, where we'd be doing basic patrols, practice forest and jungle warfare, learn to live off the land, y'know that sort of thing.
[He pauses as his lip begins to quiver, but he soon stifles it before continuing]
J████: On one of our first patrols, my Staff Sergeant noticed movement up ahead and motioned for us to prepare for contact with the rival team. We had our rifles at the ready when we noticed a boy, clearly not one of ours, come into view. We were… confused to say the least.
Dr M████: Was anything abnormal about the boy? Besides the fact he was so far from civilisation.
J████: No, nothing that stuck out really. We managed to radio the other team and our Lieutenant about the situation and we were ordered to bring the boy along so that he could be transported back to the nearest city. Once we regrouped, the Lieutenant began making general chit-chat with the kid, obviously to gauge whether he was some sort of commie spy or something. And then…
[There is a long, drawn out silence. The LCP eventually runs his fingers through his hair before placing his hands on his head and stares at the desk]
J████: [mumbles] And then at some point someone gave him some of our spare supplies and fucking chaos erupted.
Dr M████: It's fine if you need a break. Take your time.
[LCP appears not to hear this before he continues. He clears his throat and wipes his eyes]
J████: I was… fortunate enough to be on watch, in case any more kids appeared or to notify the others about the approaching transport. I remember just staring off into the bush when I noticed that there was an almost deafening silence. The birds and insects had stopped their noises which, in the middle of fuckin' spring is unnatural. Especially at dusk. Then the gunshots started, but of course they were all fuckin' blanks.
[a bitter look appears on his face as his lips tremble]
J████: I just heard… snarls and screams. Gunshots would periodically go off in rapid succession before a short yell or screech. I-I hid in my foxhole and just curled up and started shaking. I-I-I didn't and s-still don't know what happened but I knew that whatever had happened related to the kid. I felt… ashamed. What 26 year old man can't confront a fuckin teenager. Especially when I had A FUCKING GUN. But somewhere deep inside me told that he wasn't a normal kid. I felt helpless. I still do.
[he breaks down in violent sobbing, body heaving]
<End Log, [2115 1█-11-196█]>
Closing Statement: Dr M████ elected to postpone the rest of the interview with J████ until a later date.
Per 
