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Item #: SCP-5979 (Comical Corpse Disease)

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5979 is contained in a biohazard containment module at Site-47. Further, there are currently 83 instances of SCP-5979-1 buried at █████ █████ Cemetery on the grounds outside Site-47, maintained and guarded by three (3) Foundation personnel at all times. Blood relatives of SCP-5979-1 should be transported to █████ █████ Cemetery for the "Mourning Process", Protocol 5979-A (Protocol Administrators see below), annually to mitigate the effects of and prevent further outbreaks of SCP-5979. Any samples of SCP-5979 encountered in the wild are to be incinerated and newly affected individuals are to be terminated and transported in airborne biohazard containment bags immediately. In the event of newly infected individuals, contact both the Site Director of Site-47 and a Protocol Administrator for reactivation of Protocol 5979-A.

Description: SCP-5979, also known as "Comical Corpse Disease" is a highly infectious bacterium of unknown origin, similar in appearance to Serratia marcescens. SCP-5979 spreads through airborne means, and breeds through the respiratory system within 2-3 days. While incubating, the disease will mimic symptoms of a mild influenza infection. SCP-5979 is not transmittable in this state. However, after fully breeding, it will rapidly begin to attack the central nervous system, including the spinal cord and brain.

Symptoms of late term SCP-5979 include massive pain spikes, incontinence of urine and feces, tooth loss, priapism in male patients, mammary gland collapse in female patients, massive gas release from both the pharynx and sphincter, loss of facial muscle control, diaphram spasms (also known as "death laugh"), and eventually stroke and death. Upon death, patients will appear to grimace in the form of a smile, start to release SCP-5979 from their orifices, and become SCP-5979-1. If patients infected with SCP-5979 die by other means before stroke and death resulting from infection, they will cease to carry SCP-5979 and revert to a normal corpse state.

SCP-5979-1 is a full human corpse of any age afflicted with SCP-5979. SCP-5979-1 will generate bouts of uncontrollable laughter from anyone within visual contact with it, as long as the observer would be able to accurately identify the body. Observing subjects will laugh despite the gruesome scenario of death, relation to SCP-5979-1, or even perceived danger to themselves of surrounding situations. Of note, however, is that blind observers or people who have no knowledge of the identity of the corpse will react as they would normally to a corpse.

Blood relatives of SCP-5979-1 must attend a funeral or memorial service for SCP-5979-1 within one year, or SCP-5979 will spontaneously appear in a new town by some unknown means. Protocol 5979-A is the only current way to restrict the spread of SCP-5979 outside of containment. More research is being conducted into whether extended family or non-genetic relatives of SCP-5979-1 count, as well as the mechanisms behind SCP-5979's spontaneous appearance.

As of Event 52388 at Site-47 on September 7th, 20██, any testing of SCP-5979 is forbidden.

SCP-5979 was originally discovered in 20██, in a remote area of the Appalachian region in the United States. MTF "Hardy Girls", who were investigating the disappearance of Foundation researchers in the town of Wells, ██, reported multiple infected corpses. (See MTF Log: "HG"-Wells)

Addendums:
1.

MTF Log: "HG"-Wells Report

MTF Log: "Hardy Girls" - Wells Report

2.

**RESTRICTED: FOR PROTOCOL ADMINISTRATORS ONLY**

Protocol 5979-A ("Mourning Process")

Time Frame: Annually at maximum, preferably more frequent to encourage overlap
Procedure: The closest blood relative of at least one instance of SCP-5979-1 is to attend a memorial service to honor the lives of those directly affected by SCP-5979. Memorial services will be held every month at the Mount Dolor Cemetary near Site-47. All accommodations necessary to facilitate the attendance of blood relatives should be made, including monetary, transport, and room and board incentives. As of 2017, at least one blood relative has attended memorial service every year since containment.
Authorized by: Chief Director of Site-47, Paul Mulroe
Comments (for consideration):
9/12/17: Are you sure the bodies should stay buried? This is quite an infectious disease, Paul. I hope you know what you're doing… - Chief Researcher Peter M.
4/18/18: It's now conclusive that we don't need blood relatives for every victim, after today's service. That's a load off my mind. - Junior Researcher Elijiah F.
6/5/18: Has anyone brought up to the Ethics Council the idea of relatives NOT wanting to attend? What if ALL the relatives die? Would it crop up again? - Assistant Researcher Judas P.
9/13/18: [UPDATED PROTOCOL] The Ethics Council has ruled Protocol 5979-A shall be inactive until the event of a new instance of SCP-5979-1 is discovered. -Site Director Peter M.

3.

**RESTRICTED: FOR SITE DIRECTOR OF SITE-47 ONLY**

Event 52388 Review By Ethics Committee

Date: September 13th, 2018
Summary of Event: At 0830 on September 7th, 2018, Paul Mulroe, former Chief Director of Site-47, was attending a memorial service for relatives of the "Wells Gas Leak Disaster", during which Kenny Hilcox, a relative of one SCP-5979-1, declared they "knew who was at fault here", and exposed the severed head of an instance of SCP-5979-1 from an airtight bag. The relative pointed out that Site Director Mulroe had attended every service Hilcox had attended, and then asked him "if this is what a gas leak does to people". Mulroe immediately informed site personnel that there was a security breach at 0840. He authorized activation of Protocol 5979-B at 0841, and the cemetery was destroyed by 0842.
Judgement by Ethics Committee: Site Director Mulroe made many containment mistakes, and put the entire facility at risk by mishandling the containment of SCP-5979 and SCP-5979-1.