Lammyboy

Item #: SCP-5367

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: There are currently no known methods that effectively contain SCP-5367. As such, the following procedures are focused on mitigating its anomalous effects and protecting the general population from REDACTED. Research into various potential containment methods is pending.

No less than five Foundation personnel are to be permanently stationed in areas where SCP-5367 is known to frequent (hereby referred to as “interference zones”), in addition to camera surveillance. These cameras are to be outfitted with infrared and x-ray sensors, and should be capable of autonomous transportation by drone, land rover, or other vehicle. The number, placement and positioning of these cameras at any given time is left to the discretion of the local interference zone supervisor.

Whenever SCP-5367 has been detected in an interference zone, Foundation headquarters is to be notified immediately and procedure K-367 enacted. Procedure K-367 consists mainly of two steps, one taking place immediately after a materialization event, and one after said event has run its course. In chronological order:

-The trailing of SCP-5367, using at least three of the previously mentioned cameras. Ideally, the cameras will follow SCP-5367 out in the open and at a distance of no less than five feet behind the subject. If SCP-5367 shows hostility or agitation, however, allowance will be made for a longer following distance and for camouflaging of the cameras. Under no circumstances is the trailing of SCP-5367 to be carried out in person by Foundation personnel.

-Combing of areas where SCP-5367 has been recorded traveling. Special attention is to be given to places where SCP-5367 exhibited anomalous behavior. If possible, any instances of SCP-5367-B are to be captured and put into Foundation custody. If an SCP-4367-B instance cannot be captured, it is to be designated IC-Class (incomprehensible) and a research team assigned to finding a containment method.

For more information regarding procedure K-367, see document G62-4590. For the location and geography of all known interference zones, see document G35-2167.

Description: SCP-5367 appears to be an adolescent female. SCP-5367 is blonde, racially ambiguous, and wears what seems to be a silk dress decorated with galactic patterns. This is the limit of what can be added to this file regarding her appearance, as it has been found impossible to describe any other aspect of SCP-5367’s visual qualities in formats that rely on human language. It is unclear whether this is due to a cognitohazard, or if the languages the Foundation has attempted to use merely lack a sufficient vocabulary to communicate what has been seen. Investigation into this matter is ongoing.

SCP-5367 possesses the ability to teleport herself instantly to any location in the universe. This includes areas that are normally impossible for human beings to inhabit without special equipment, such as the surface of the moon, the vacuum of space, and REDACTED. SCP-5367 will materialize on Earth in seemingly random intervals (the longest recorded absence being five years, the shortest being two days), and has shown a preference for appearing in a small handful of different areas. These interference zones all consist of wilderness mostly untouched by human civilization, but otherwise have nothing in common.

In addition to abilities of teleportation and preternatural survival, SCP-5367 has two major anomalous qualities of note. The first is the capability of performing paradoxical, and seemingly impossible, tasks. These “feats” are typically described as making intuitive sense while a person views them, even if they are aware that such a thing cannot be done. These tend to be very difficult to describe in words, and can only be vaguely summarized. Some actions that SCP- 5367 has been seen partaking in include:

-Walking the vertical length of a tree by using herself as a floor.

-Following the direction of a road but not the “way” the road actually leads, all while walking directly on top of the road.

-Using her own body as both a weight and counterweight to fling herself across a river. There were no external mechanisms involved.

-Blocking darkness, and creating a shadow of light behind herself.

-Eating an apple but retaining it in its original form.

-Giving the “middle finger” to a Foundation camera with all of her fingers on both hands.

—Witnessing recordings of SCP-5367 performing these actions may constitute a cognitohazard, and as such access is limited to level five personnel or higher, for the sole purpose of testing on D-class subjects.

Note from Dr. IIIIIIIII: Though no deleterious effects have yet manifested in anyone who has watched these videos, we will continue to err on the side of caution until SCP-5367 is more understood. In other words: stop pestering us for access to them. They are not entertainment, and will not tell you anything you don’t already know. Quite the opposite, in fact.—

Update: As of 9/19/IIII, the 05 Council has unanimously approved a lower clearance rate for access to SCP-5367 recordings. Any foundation personnel of level-2 or higher can request access to recordings depicting anomalous behavior. No cognitohazardous influences have been detected in personnel assigned to SCP-5367, and it is the opinion of the 05 Council that its anomalous effects are not of a mind altering nature.

The final anomalous quality SCP-5367 possesses is the ability to “corrupt” objects. The term “corrupt” in this case is loosely defined, as there is great variance in the type of matter corrupted and the qualities it exhibits thereafter, the only commonality being anomalous behavior. Some examples of this include:

-An acorn of indeterminate size that cannot be measured in any quantifiable way. It appears to be the size of a regular acorn.

-An infinitely long river that loops back into itself. The river does not appear to be extra-dimensional, as it only travels through documented areas and landmasses. How this information is even known is not currently understood, and may not be entirely accurate.

-A mountain fox with the ability to fly, which it achieves by displacing its own body into itself and jumping atop it, repeatedly. Currently at large, and its capture is considered an alpha level priority.

Corrupted objects (hereby referred to as SCP-5367-A instances) have proven to be difficult, and at times seemingly impossible, to contain. As such, some have no containment procedures, and are assigned as IC-Class objects. Despite copious experiments and research, no IC-Class object has yet been successfully contained. In some cases, the only bulwark preventing civilian discovery of SCP-5367-A instances is their seemingly logical and unremarkable nature.

Because of this, focus has shifted from containing SCP-5367-A instances to preventing their manifestation. This is accomplished through constant and aggressive surveillance of SCP-4367 whenever she appears. Due to incident K7-3B-12, wherein multiple foundation personnel were REDACTED, resulting in REDACTED with 3.456924 … casualties¹, this surveillance is done through remote camera recordings.

SCP-5367 has shown a reluctance to perform anomalous tasks while being monitored, and stays in interference zones an average of IIIII hours less when she is aware of being watched. SCP-5367 has shown hostile tendencies towards Foundation equipment, including [DATA EXPUNGED] and various passive aggressive displays. Despite this, she has yet to harm or alter any apparatuses.

Why SCP-5367 has shown no reticence in the REDACTED of living creatures, yet is unable or unwilling to do the same to equipment, is unknown. The implications of this are currently being considered as a possible avenue for containment.

Foundation knowledge of SCP-5367

When exactly the Foundation was alerted to the existence of SCP-5367 has itself been subjected to SCP-5367’s anomalous effects. In other words, there is a temporal distortion surrounding the discovery of SCP-5367, as well the creation of its containment protocols. Like most of SCP-5367’s effects, the results are difficult to explain in words, and are not yet fully understood. The purpose of this addendum is to provide a brief overview of known histories and timelines regarding the discovery of SCP-5367. For a more detailed look at each individual timeline, see document X45-7820.

All following timelines, past, present and future, are simultaneously the first instance of Foundation interaction with SCP-5367.

Timeline # 1

On 5/25/1992, a Foundation agent embedded in the forestry service of IIIIIIIIII National Park received information regarding a “polluted” pond. The descriptions of the pond were strange and indicated possible anomalous activity. When the “pond” in question was examined, it was found to be in a state of matter unknown to modern science² . A perimeter of hyperarousal inducing flora (SCP-XXXX) was established to ward off civilians and animals from the site. SCP-5367 was found in the vicinity shortly thereafter.

Timeline # 2

On 2/13/1999, SCP-5367 came across a Foundation site situated in the IIIIIIIII Desert, presumably by accident. She was successfully detained, but when brought into questioning became uncooperative, and escaped by “pushing herself” into a wall. The guards responsible for her capture, believing themselves to be capable of the same feat (due to it seeming plausible and easy to accomplish), also attempted this, but failed.

Timeline # 3

On 8/18/2008, the Foundation was alerted to the presence of an anomalous entity in the IIIIII jungle by a letter that manifested suddenly on the desk of Dr. IIIIIIIIII. Other than the mode by which it arrived, the letter did not exhibit any anomalous behavior. It consisted of an empty envelope, a postage stamp on said envelope depicting the Milky Way, and two small typewritten paragraphs located where the return address is typically put, which read as follows:

//Greetings, men and women of the Foundation! It unfortunately behooves me to inform you that my daughter has been wandering about your verdant little speck, unbidden and unwelcome. While I abhor this trespass and offer my most sincere apologies, it is not within my ability to stop her from going where she chooses. Instead, the most I can accomplish is to inform the proper authority of her whereabouts. In my estimation, that would be you.

I hope that this responsibility does not prove too burdensome, and that it may provide some edification to those involved in its enaction. An inadequate recompense, I know, but I’ve always found it helps to look on the bright side of things.

With great gratitude, and the hope that our next correspondence may take place under happier circumstances- Thomas Sallow

P.S. Do be gentle with the girl, if at all possible. She hasn’t been the same since the death of her mother, and I suspect this might be her way of mourning.//

On the back of the envelope were handwritten geographic coordinates corresponding to IIIIII.

Timeline # 4

On 12/11/2045, the Foundation will detect a level-4 anomaly in its neural surveillance systems. Standard brainwave synthesis and triangulation techniques will reveal the source of the anomaly as a REDACTED capable of extra-logical axiomatic manipulation. Two class-Z hominids (homo sapiens) will be dispatched to its location, and successful termination will ensue.

1: This number is irrational, and the ellipses denote an arbitrary cut off point. How it is not an integer is not currently understood, and is assumed to be an anomalous effect of SCP-5367. No fault in the math that was used to calculate it has yet been found. More information can be obtained in document Z43-6294.

2: It has been described as both a “gaseous solid” and a “brittle liquid”. More information can be found in document X56-3589.