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Specimen of Missulena tallorani, a species discovered among spiders produced via SCP-XXXX.
Item #: SCP-XXXX (previously Anomalous Item XXXX)
Object Class: Thaumiel
Special Containment Procedures: Every Level-5 secure archive must retain at least five copies of SCP-XXXX. Said copies are to be retained with the most permanent data storage method available to the Foundation (currently optical data storage in nanostructured fused quartz).
Knowledge of SCP-XXXX’s use is to be restricted to individuals with Level-5/XXXX clearance, currently limited to the O5 council and staff critical to the success of Operation Abaddon. SCP-XXXX remains listed as Anomalous Item XXXX for all other Foundation personnel.
Description: SCP-XXXX instances are video recordings of the eighteenth episode of the fifth season of the situation comedy “Full House” as originally broadcast on 11/02/1992 by KTWO-TV, an ABC-affiliated television station servicing Casper, Wyoming.
At an elapsed runtime of 11 minutes, 13 seconds, a scene missing from all other known versions of the episode, titled “Too Much Monkey Business”, plays. In this scene, the character Michelle Tanner, the only character in the scene, wags her right index finger disapprovingly at a spider web, saying the catch phrase “You’re in big trouble, mister!” An unidentified laugh track then plays before the standard version of the episode abruptly resumes at an elapsed runtime of 11 minutes, 21 seconds.
After this scene is viewed in its entirety from any video device, the observer will vomit between 0.2 and 5.7 kg of spiders, which anomalously appear in the observer’s stomach immediately prior to and during expulsion. The species and apparent age of individual spiders appear randomly distributed.1
On 25/03/2003, it was found that a similar phenomenon affects video recording devices when the anomalous scene was captured in a CCTV camera’s field of view during a routine experiment and spiders were ejected from a nearby ventilation shaft in the test chamber. When recorded by any device, whether mechanical or digital, a mass of spiders between 0.2 and 5.7 kg will be ejected over a 3.1 to 15.3 second period from the nearest opening with a cross-sectional area of at least 4.5 cm and a depth of at least 6.7 cm.
When the speed of SCP-XXXX playback is varied, the effect persists on the condition that the recording device is able to capture every frame of the anomalous scene. The rate of spider expulsion varies in direct proportion to the playback frame rate, with higher frame rates resulting in more rapid expulsion.
Addendum 1: As of 17/01/2004, it has been confirmed that the phenomenon manifests when a simulated playback of SCP-XXXX is recorded by a simulated camera in a virtual environment. Resulting spiders are ejected from the nearest opening meeting the previously determined size requirements to the processor running the simulation. Looped simulations result in continuous spider ejection.
Addendum 2: Major progress milestones for Operation Abaddon.
10/05/2004: A rocket engine utilizing SCP-XXXX to generate thrust is successfully test fired at Area-XX with a nozzle designed to unidirectionally constrain produced spider flow. This engine achieves a propellant mass flow rate of 12,100 kg/sec and a thrust-to-weight ratio of 110.
14/08/2004: An experimental reactor utilizing SCP-XXXX and specially designed turbomachinery is brought online at Site-09, producing a sustained output of 1500 MW.
30/09/2004: A satisfactory method of eliminating resulting arachnid waste from utilization of SCP-XXXX is incorporated into reactor design.
27/11/2004: An experimental warhead consisting of an ARACHNE 1.3 quantum processor in a pressure vessel is activated at the Area-22 missile range. Explosive yield is measured at 10 Mt TNT equivalent.
5% of Foundation facilities are fully powered by SCP-XXXX reactor systems at this time.
05/02/2005: A rocket engine in solar orbit utilizing an ARACHNE 7.8 quantum processor maintains a constant 80.7 g acceleration for 100 hours, achieving a final speed of 0.95 c. Propulsive engines utilizing SCP-XXXX are approved for interplanetary and interstellar use, though launch vehicles to carry such engines into Earth orbit must remain conventional to avoid polluting Earth's atmosphere with spider vapor.
17% of Foundation facilities are fully powered by SCP-XXXX reactor systems at this time.
04/11/2010: Foundation colony ship 865 (“Anansi”) arrives at Proxima Centauri b. Colony ships 244, 456, 832, 945, 329, 900, and 254 are en route to their respective destinations.
97% of Foundation facilities are fully powered by SCP-XXXX reactor systems at this time.
22/06/2019: An artificial black hole is created utilizing an ARACHNE 15.6 quantum processor and inertial confinement.
31/10/2024: Construction of an arsenal of relativistic projectile weapons and black hole weapons sufficient for execution of Operation Abaddon is complete. Initiation of hostilities against [REDACTED] is pending unanimous O5 approval.
