Per 
<- Notice: Continued from 14XX.
Test 914-1500
Name: Researcher Salis
Date: 12/03/2020
Total Items: One spool of yellow fabric
Input: Above spool of fabric
Setting: Fine
Output: One yellow hoodie that appears black when exposed to light levels of 0.002 lux or higher. When not exposed to sufficient levels of light, the outfit glows at 15,000 lumens. Research staff were rendered temporarily blind during testing, output incinerated.
Note: The clothing seems to act as a "light sponge" of sorts, absorbing light during normal conditions and releasing it when the surrounding area gets dark. - R. Salis
Test 914-1501
Name: Prof. Wren
Date: 12/03/2020
Total Items: Four plastic wheelbarrows, each loaded with the following: a box of 1000 18-gauge brad nails, a [REDACTED]-brand 20V 18-gauge electronic brad nailer, 16 2.43m 2x4 oak planks, and three wheelbarrow wheels.
Note: A friend's son is participating in a soap box derby in a few days. I thought I'd see if 914 could build him a winning rig, plus I had a $2000 gift certificate from [REDACTED] that I wasn't going to do anything with anyway. I've asked security to be on standby in case it decides to produce a literal nailgun, though. This is 914 we're talking about here. - Prof. Wren
Input: One wheelbarrow and contents.
Setting: Fine
Output: A wooden booth, 3m x 1.4m x 1.2m in size, with a plastic door on one side. Inside is a wooden stool with a rubber seat, presumably formed from the tires, along with a microphone formed from the tires and brad nailer hanging from the ceiling. A USB slot is located on the underside of the microphone; plugging a USB-compatible data device into the slot allows audio inputs to be recorded onto the device as WAV files.
Note: As much as I'd love to request getting this transferred to my quarters, I already have recording equipment that, unlike this behemoth, would actually fit in the door. It is pretty nice, though. - Prof. Wren
Input: One wheelbarrow and contents.
Setting: Fine
Output: A animatronic emu constructed of wood, plastic, and metal. The ends of its feathers are steel-plated. A set of levers on its hind quarters allow it to be operated, moving the wings and head around. Stirrups in the legs allow the controller to walk it around.
Note: As with many of 914's creations, this is equal parts impressive, cool, and utterly useless. Could be a hit at the next office party, I suppose. - Prof. Wren
Input: One wheelbarrow and contents.
Setting: Fine
Output: A gatling gun embankment. The wood-constructed gatling gun is loaded with projectiles formed from the brad nails; mass of each projectile and the 250-round count suggests they are formed from 4 nails each.
Note: D-Class successfully restrained after the weapon failed to fire; a large plastic flag with "BANG" written on it in metal letters slid out of each barrel as the gun rotated.
Note: Remainder of test canceled. Items designated for final test turned over to maintenance personnel.
Note: If anyone else feels they need a drink after that one, feel free to join me. First round's on me. - Prof. Wren
Test 914-1502
Name: Junior Researcher McLaif
Date: 12/03/2020
Total Items: An introductory note, five surge protectors
Note: I looked through all of my logs and as it turns out I've never done the "give 914 an intro note" tradition we have here, apparently. — JR Mclaif
Input: The introductory note, saying "Hey 914, I've been working with you for almost 6 months and never done this intro note tradition we have. Here's to another 6 months of testing — McLaif"
Setting: 1:1
Output: The same note, with the text arranged into an anomalously animated rotating 3D cube.
Input: A surge protector
Setting: Rough
Output: A melted and burnt pile of copper, rubber, and plastic.
Input: A surge protector
Setting: Coarse
Output: The constituent parts of the surge protector, arranged by size.
Input: A surge protector
Setting: 1:1
Output: An extension cable.
Input: A surge protector
Setting: Fine
Output: A plastic and rubber box 10cm x 2cm x 2cm in size, shaped like the input surge protector. The top of the box contains six sockets similar to NEMA Type B sockets found at Site 19-23. Plugging in a power supply with a cable modified to have two plugs on either end has the box emitting light proportional to the amperage of the power supply. When a device with a compatible plug is inserted, the box will anomalously supply 1V at 0.5mA split among all connected devices. The box does not supply power otherwise.
Input: A surge protector
Setting: Very Fine
Output: A rubber-covered metal cube with an exposed wire attached to a face. When connected to power, the cube will levitate 10cm above the surface it is placed on, and powers electrical devices in a 20m cube. After being powered for 52 seconds, the output melted into a pool of rubber and copper.
Note: While the plug is fixed in it's shape, socket however can change it's shape to fit any electrical plug, as it is composed out of living metal. Plug could also change to four shapes, which are all unknown variations of a plug and is changed using a dial on the side of the adapter. As such, this appears like a universal plug adapter. The dial anomalously replaces the socket on the adapter after vibrating the device at 120 Hertz for 0.5 seconds.
Test 914-1503
Name: Agent Rosetta
Date: 14/02/2020
Total items: N/A (test not performed on-Site, see below.)
Note: This test was recovered in the last expedition of SCP-1437. We asked Dr. Veritas where to file it, and he asked me ''to think long and hard about that question before doing so again''. I assume that that means ''with the others''. - Agent Rosetta
Item #: SCP-914
Object Class: To be determined.
Object Subclass: Class-A multi-function/production anomaly.Description: To be determined.
Name: O6-4, vD-15, vD-17, vD-21
Date: 06/02/2025
Total Items: Nine pure 1kg iron cubes
Note: After recently acquiring this Class-A functionally-anomalous object and performing basic analysis, it has been cleared for testing and designated SCP-914 by the O6 Council. I will be personally performing the first round of tests with the assistance of voluntary Class-vD personnel. - O6-4 "Vivic"
Input: One iron cube
Setting: Obliterate
Output: As the doors of the booth labelled "Output" opened, 1kg of iron dust averaging 1μm in diameter was ejected at speeds exceeding Mach 3. vD-15 was terminated and standard Foundation-issue steel-carbide-reinforced shields were determined to be insufficient against uncooperative behaviour displayed by SCP-914. Nano-bot cleanup and repair teams were immediately summoned in order to resume testing as soon as possible.
Note: Response time of SCP-914 is noted to be six minutes. The ballistic glass of the observation room is noted to be slightly damaged. Considering the physical destruction caused by this test, all personnel are forbidden from using the Obliterate setting for future testing. - O6-4
Input: One iron cube
Setting: Rough
Output: 0.5kg of pure molten iron at 950°C and 0.5kg of solid iron showing signs of tensile torsion, impact damage and other signs of various forms of trauma. Interestingly, there was no detected increase in the local temperature readings until the booth labelled "Output" opened after the an operation time of five minutes. A nano-bot cleanup crew has once again been called, this time to remove the molten iron safely before it solidified to the bottom of the booth.
Note: It appears that this setting is used to dismantle the inputted item in a crude manner, provided that the input can be successfully damaged or destroyed in such away. More testing with stronger materials to ascertain the limits of this setting should be considered with cleanup crews on standby. This setting is approved for future use by research personnel. - O6-4
Input: One iron cube
Setting: Coarse
Output: The entire floor of the output booth was coated in iron dust measuring 1mm in diameter. No anomalous properties noted. Total mass of iron dust measured 1kg in weight and is viable for nano-bot recycling protocols.
Note: Although the lack of a violent and/or dangerous outputs is a reassuring step in the right direction, it does make the extra shielding and reinforcements put in place feel rather unnecessary. This setting is approved for future research personnel. - O6-4
Input: One iron cube
Setting: 1:1
Output: One 1kg iron sphere with perfect curvature across the surface. Further analysis shows no other signs of modification or any defects known to occur during conventional ironworking processes. vD-17 noted it to be cold to the touch as the input was. Readings have confirmed no significant temperature difference between input and output.
Note: Although anticlimactic, this output is much more favourable compared to the ones we've gotten so far, requiring no extra resources or personnel to retrieve the output. Future testing is encouraged with this setting because of the safety of output items. - O6-4
Input: One iron cube
Setting: Fine
Output: One highly detailed map of the Nation of Alexandria made from the inputted iron and flattened into a 1mm-thin plate. Typography and landmarks are engraved onto one surface. Details of the map compared to the current geographic area has shown the outputted iron map represents the Nation as it was in 2021.
Note: These tests are showing great progress and it appears a pattern is emerging. The further we turn the dial, the more complex the outputted objects. Further testing on this setting is encouraged with multiple input objects to more accurately determine how SCP-914 functions. - O6-4
Input: One iron cube
Setting: Very Fine
Output: As the doors of the booth labelled "Output" opened, one 20cm-tall statue of David The Thinker made entirely out of iron walked out of the booth. After being detained, it was discovered that the object is capable of communicating via and comprehending written language. Object classified as a Class-C sentient and mobile anomaly and has been contained on-site successfully following proper protocols for similar anomalies.
Note: Further testing with this setting will require containment specialist personnel on standby and a detailed log of outputted anomalies should be maintained. I can personally see some very dangerous anomalies being created by this setting. Testing with this setting is approved with written approval, but personnel must be cautious of potentially hazardous outputs. - O6-4
Input: One iron cube
Setting: Ultra Fine
Output: A five-dimensional cuboid object merged with a severed hexahedron, classified as a Class-B physical/geometric anomaly. Containment teams deployed and object successfully contained in a stabilized state for further research.
Note: Another item like that and the safety of this research facility cannot be ensured. Testing with this setting will require written approval by senior research personnel and multiple containment and security teams are required to be on standby. Items outputted on this setting that qualify as a Class-B or above sentient anomaly must be questioned thoroughly and disposed of via the Void if necessary. - O6-4
Input: One iron cube
Setting: Extremely Fine
Output: A Class-S physical/geometric anomaly. Site-wide lockdown, Identification impossible due to possible violation of 6th-dimensional geometry. MTF Omega-C3 was teleported into the testing chamber for object termination and was successful in doing so. vD-17 terminated after attempting to comprehend toutput.
Note: Further testing on this setting is forbidden by all personnel. Also, should any tests on this setting happen without proper approval by the O6 Council, those responsible will be punished and terminated if they are not already terminated by the output. - O6-4
Input: One iron cube
Setting: Super Fine
Output: One file binder made of the inputted iron, containing 18 25 28 a constantly-updating number of pages made entirely of iron measuring 0.2mm in thickness with an anomalous degree of flexibility similar to conventional paper. Object classified as a Class-C Multiversal Interference anomaly after reading the texts engraved on the pages. Binder has been contained at Site-01 and access requires O6-level approval.
Note: The binder is titled "Experiment Log 914 - Universe-[REDACTED]-Erikesh" and contains over 1300 tests on SCP-914 made by another Foundation. Further testing with this setting is prohibited. All personnel are to be directed to the addendum below.
Addendum:
During the standard week-long observation period of anomalies, it was discovered that the binder will update and add new pages as needed by taking iron from the environment in a radius of 9.14m, similar to a Class-A element absorption anomaly, targeting bulk sources first before going after bonded molecules. All new pages and tests are to be added to an isolated database on-Site and the binder has now been classified as SCP-914-A. Furthermore, testing on the 'Super Fine' setting is prohibited entirely without clearance from the full O6 Council.
Note: I had, at first glance, thought that the binder was a very interesting creation. As the test logs and names began appearing in it, we realised it wasn't a joke. It is actively taking data from another universe where the SCP Foundation appears to also exists and so violates all known laws of hyperspace-time, hence requiring proper containment and permanent observation. As for the multiverse communication data sharing protocols, a notice will be added to the bottom of this document. - O6-4
Notice to SCP Foundation, Universe-[REDACTED]-Erikesh
Dear Dr. Lucius Elijah Veritas,
I am O6-4 of the SCP Institution operating from universe Omega774Foxtrot-4G. Operating clandestine, worldwide and systemwide, the Institution operates beyond jurisdiction, empowered and entrusted by every major national government with the task of containing anomalous objects, entities, and phenomena. These anomalies pose a significant threat to global security by threatening either physical or psychological harm. The Institution operates to maintain normalcy, so that the worldwide civilian population can live and go on with their daily lives without fear, mistrust, or doubt in their personal beliefs, and to maintain human independence from extraterrestrial, extradimensional, and other extranormal influence.
I will assume that "SCP" means the same to you as it does to us - our mission to secure, contain and protect.
Personally, I am impressed with the level of patience you have displayed with your researchers over your many years at Site-19 Facility 23.
We have also noticed that your universe's version of SCP-914 is lacking a few settings. Study of the binder from the above test has provided much useful data to the Institution from your Foundation. By Dr. Gears' recommendation, we will also be outlawing biological testing.
Sincerely, on behalf of the SCP Institution, I thank you for your continued work and research, Dr. Veritas. May the Serpent guide you to enlightenment.
Best regards,
O6-4 "Vivic"
Secure. Contain. Protect.P.S.: I assure you that the Senior Researcher Vivic you have is not me. My O6 codename, "Vivic", is nothing more than a coincidence. Keep up the good fight, Dr. Veritas. And your sanity.
Note: Never thought that I'd receive encouragement from an inter-dimensional Foundation researcher, but here we are. - Veritas
Test 914-1504
Name: Junior Researcher Boneka
Date: 14/02/2020
Total Items: Eight magic 8-balls
Input: One magic 8-ball
Setting: Rough
Output: A smashed magic 8-ball, broken into eight main fragments.
Input: One magic 8-ball
Setting: Coarse
Output: An empty magic 8-ball, a puddle of alcohol, a puddle of blue dye, a small hollow cylinder, and the icosahedron used in magic 8-balls.
Input: One magic 8-ball
Setting: 1:1
Output: A physically unchanged magic 8-ball. The output hurled itself out of the output booth at ██ km/h straight at JR Boneka, who reflexively caught it in her hands. Upon catching the object, the phrase “SWEET CATCH!” was vocalized from the 8-ball. Aside from this, it still functions like a standard magic 8-ball. No further changes are noted.
ADDENDUM: The magic 8-ball will make further vocalizations whenever anyone at Facility 23 performs certain actions. The 8-ball does not have to be within the immediate vicinity of the person performing the action as long as they are on-site. A brief list of actions and their corresponding vocalizations is included below.
| Action | Vocalization |
|---|---|
| A researcher who recently performed a test with a dangerous output managed to evade a confrontation with Dr. Veritas. For now. | “NICE ABSCOND!” |
| A male researcher dodged an output that had exited the output booth at high speed. | “DUDE DODGE!” |
| Another avoidance of a high-speed output, this time by one of the youngest researchers on-site. | “YOUTH ROLL!” |
Note: Object incinerated. I doubt it’s particularly dangerous or anything… it’s just a little annoying. - JR Boneka
Input: One magic 8-ball
Setting: 1:1
Output: One magic cue-ball. Presumably, it functions similarly to a standard magic 8-ball, but the surface is entirely opaque, and there is no viewing port through which to view the “fortune”, rendering the object useless.
Input: One magic 8-ball
Setting: Fine
Output: A magic 8-ball that has sprouted four pairs of arachnid legs, similar to SCP-2649. The entity oozes a liquid similar to SCP-2649-A in consistency, although it is tinted blue and does not exhibit the same anomalous effects. Entity neutralized after JR Boneka impulsively kicked it away, causing it to smash into a wall and shatter. No anomalous effects recorded afterwards.
Note: I… I’m starting to really regret the materials I chose to perform this test. I should have chosen objects with less… morally dubious associations? Regardless, this is all quite fascinating… the show must go on. - JR Boneka
Input: One magic 8-ball
Setting: Fine
Output: Another magic cue-ball, although this time, the sphere is translucent, allowing for the fortune inside to be seen. When a D-class was instructed to pick it up, the ball exploded, damaging his left eye and arm. D-class sent to the infirmary.
Input: One magic 8-ball
Setting: Very Fine
Output: Eight D8 dice, made out of the solid components of the original 8-ball. It is presumed that the liquid is inside the dice. When all eight dice are rolled simultaneously, an event occurs, seemingly based on the combination of numbers achieved by rolling the dice. Placing the dice on specific sides deliberately will not trigger any event; they must be rolled at random. For the purpose of testing, a D-class was instructed to attempt different rolls while security staff stood guard.
| Numbers rolled | Event |
|---|---|
| 1, 4, 2, 1, 1, 5, 2, 1 | “Ridiculous Hat”: A purple top hat with bunny ears attached suddenly manifested on the head of one of the security guards. |
| 2, 4, 5, 2, 6, 3, 1, 4 | “Weasel of Unusual Size”: A mouse-sized weasel manifested and began attempting to attack one of the security guards, though was unable to do much due to its small size. The weasel vanished when the guard reflexively kicked it away. |
| 7, 6, 2, 8, 4, 5, 7, 7 | “Musclebeast Stampede”: A small group of centaur-like creatures manifested and began attacking security staff, causing some damage to the preliminary testing room in the process. While security was handling the creatures, the D-class attempted to escape from the room, but was unsuccessful and quickly terminated. After security finished neutralizing them, the creatures also dematerialized. Some guards are now being treated for moderate injuries. |
Note: It seems that the result of rolling the dice is based on the combination of (and the order in which) the individual numbers rolled and not the sum of the numbers. That would mean that there are 16,777,216 possible outcomes for rolling the dice. As likely expected, a roll that results in lower numbers triggers a mostly harmless event, while higher number rolls likely result in more dangerous or unstable events. Based on the source material from which this concept was derived, I assume that this output is intended to be weaponized, and though it’s based on chance, it would be extremely dangerous if it fell into the wrong hands. Output incinerated. I assume I’m going to get an earful from Veritas after this, so that’s enough testing for the day. - JR Boneka
Test 914-1505
Name: Junior Researcher Reimer
Date: 14/03/2020
Total items: Two PlayStation 4 copies of Detroit: Become Human, two Grizzly MkV pistols, two FN FAL battle rifles, two schematics of the LGM-30 Minutenan ICBM
Note: After reading WR Markham's latest test, I can't help but think why she got an unbalanced share of "Girls Frontline" references when my background would be more susceptible to it. I'll try to invoke a response from 914 by using inputs that are more likely to invoke such references. - JR Reimer
Input: A copy of Detroit: Become Human
Setting: Fine
Output A PlayStation 3 copy of a non-existent game titled Brześć: Innocence Lost. The plot of the game follows closely to that of the Call of Duty series and Girls Frontline, but set in the year 2036. It should be noted that the game has Vladimir Makarov (the antagonist in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2) as the main character, and reworked Makarov (the Girls Frontline character) as his harsh and scheming daughter.
Note: Seems to be working. I'll see if it's just because of the source material, or whether there is a distinct bias towards the game. Or whether 914 is just screwing over with Markham. On another note, unless 914 wants to differentiate Brest, Belarus with Brest, France, I don't see why it has to use the Polish name for the city. - JR Reimer
Input: A Grizzly MkV pistol, loaded
Setting: Fine
Output One M1911 pistol and one Kel-Tec PMR-30 pistol. Both are empty, with the PMR-30 being stained with an unidentified red liquid.
Input: An FN FAL battle rifle
Setting: Fine
Output The same rifle, with the logo of the Chaos Insurgency printed on.
Note: I highly doubt that the Chaos Insurgency represents anything resembling the Free World. - JR Reimer
Input: A schematic of the Minuteman ICBM
Setting: Fine
Output A schematic of the Trident SLBM
Input: A copy of Detroit: Become Human
Setting: Very Fine
Output A DVD, containing all songs recorded by Eminem.
Note: That took an unexpected turn. Why Eminem in particular? It's not like Detroit has no talented acts besides him. - JR Reimer
Input: A Grizzly MkV pistol, loaded
Setting: Very Fine
Output Outwardly unchanged pistol. However its firing mechanism has been altered to shoot bullets alternately backwards and forwards.
Input: An FN FAL battle rifle
Setting: Very Fine
Output The same rifle, with a primary cognitohazardous effect which causes the wielder to believe they are in Copenhagen in the year 1984. Affected subjects will claim that the Afsluitdijk is a fortified zone and the only access point between "Free Europe" and "Soviet Europe", and that several Norwegian straits, the Wadden Sea, and the IJssel, Rhine, Neckar, Danube, Morava, and Vardar Rivers separate most of the two regions, with the Danish Islands, Fehmarn, Rügen, Öland, and Gotland being the Baltic stronghold against Communism. Effect persists for four hours.
Note: How oddly specific. To simplify, Norway (sans Svalbard, Jan Mayen, and the islands from Vesterålen Archipelago and northeast to Skjervoy), Finland, Turkey, most of Sweden and Germany, continental Denmark, and parts of the Netherlands, Austria, and Greece fell under Communism; while Albania, most of Yugoslavia, half of Hungary, and Rügen in former East Germany are free. Beyond that, and the subjects' claims start contradicting each other, with the description of Bulgaria's borders being the only consistent point. - JR Reimer
Input: A schematic of the Minuteman ICBM
Setting: Very Fine
Output A schematic of a laser-based weapon, labeled the "Jupiter Cannon". Several of the required components cannot be recreated with baseline or anomalous technology as of 2020.
Note: Two references in total, though the "Jupiter Cannon" in the schematic would function more like a mini-Death Star than the actual in-game thing. Not conclusive enough of a result, but I am willing to bet that 914's bias has something to do with Markham's choices for input. If she is willing to avoid weaponry (mainly the 200+ weapons with a canonical counterpart) or AI-themed inputs, the references may stop showing up after a while. - JR Reimer
Test 914-1506
Name: Intern Craft
Date: 14/03/2020
Total Items: One standard MTF Epsilon-11 fragmentation grenade, one phone opened onto the application "Discord" with light mode turned on, one M9 pistol, one white flag, two completed "914 recipe tables" corresponding to the items.
Note: It's been a while since the templates got filled out so I'm gonna get a few of them done now. Additionally, I'm using the "Very Fine" setting for 914's "Surprise Me" setting. - Intern Craft
Input: One standard MTF Epsilon-11 fragmentation grenade, one phone opened onto the application "Discord" with light mode turned on, the corresponding 914 recipe template
Setting: Very Fine
Output: One extra-strength MTF Nu-7 ("Hammer Down") flashbang with regenerative capabilities varying on energy source (Refer to addendum 1). After used, if an electronic device using an application with the setting of or related to "Light Mode" is within 20 meters of the flashbang, the device automatically changes said setting to "Dark Mode" and the flashbang regenerates back to it's non-used state. One phone opened onto the application "Discord" with night mode turned on, the corresponding 914 recipe template with a checkmark at the bottom right corner.
Input: One M9 pistol, one white flag, the corresponding 914 recipe template
Setting: Fine
Output: One M9 pistol, three ammunition cartridges for 9mm rounds made out of nylon fabric, the corresponding 914 recipe template with a checkmark at the bottom left corner and the suggested output being updated to now show a image of a flag being loaded into the cartridge instead of standard ammunition. The type of flag used decides effects of the bullet however there always is a fixed clip of nine bullets regardless of the flag consumed (Refer to addendum 2).
Addendum 1:
| Energy Source | Effect |
| iPhone 6/Twitter | Flashbang exploded with no unusual effects, the device's twitter application was forcefully switched to dark mode. |
| Macbook Air/YouTube | Flashbang exploded 5 seconds after expected detonation time, the laptop's YouTube application was forcefully switched to dark mode. |
| PC/Discord | Flashbang exploded immediately after leaving the D-Class personnel's hand. Entire room was impossible to see into for 12 hours. The PC's Discord application is permanently unable to switch from night mode to light mode. |
Addendum 2:
| Flag Type | Effects |
| United States of America | Upon firing the weapon, the bullet increases in size up to double it's circumference. |
| United Kingdom | Bullets fired out of the gun split in 4 pieces |
| Italy | Approximately 3 seconds after the bullet exited the barrel, the bullet returned back to it's cartridge. |
| France | Bullets upon hitting a surface turn light blue and can be described as "easily noticeable." |
| USSR (upon the request of many researchers) |
Upon the bullet exiting the barrel, the national anthem of the former USSR played at 200dB, instantly causing permanent hearing loss from the D-Class personnel firing the gun and made noticeable cracks in the glass of the testing chamber. Intern Craft's paycheck has been docked to cover the expenses: Attempting to Verify Foundation Credentials… searching level 1 records… searching level 2 records… searching level 3 records… searching level 4 records… searching level 5 records… searching Level 6/O5 records… … Credentials invalid, billing access denied. Please create a WikiDot™ account for billing access.| |
Test 914-1507
Name: Intern Coray
Date: 14/03/2020
Total Items: One note and three copies of the manga seriesJoJo's Bizzare Adventure: Vento Aureo
Note: Hello all, I'm the new intern. Why I chose to be posted at the site with the most bizarre deaths among interns, I don't know. Regardless, let's hope that this test doesn't kill anybody. -Intern Coray
Input: One note reading "Hello 914. I will be working with you. Please refrain from killing me. Thank you."
Setting: Coarse
Output: A pile of shredded paper and a puddle of ink.
Input: One Copy of JoJo's Bizzare Adventure: Vento Aureo
Setting: 1:1
Output: One Copy of JJBA: Stone Ocean
Note: I don't remember leaving 914 on Coarse. -Intern Coray
Input: One copy of JoJo's Bizzare Adventure: Vento Aureo
Setting: Fine
Output: One "stand arrowhead" as seen in the manga made of compressed paper. It has been painted gold via the ink from the manga. The words "Korega Requiem Da" are written on the side of the arrow.
Test 914-1508
Name: Dr. Cleveland
Date: 14/03/2020
Total Items: Three maps of the United States, 1:50000 scale (For Alaska, 1:200000 scale)
Input: A map of the United States
Setting: 1:1
Output: A map of China, 1:70000 scale.
Input: A map of the United States
Setting: Coarse
Output: A map of a United States that suffered a worse War of 1812, dated 1960. The map shows that the Maumee River, the 41st parallel, and the Missouri River became the American-Canadian border, and that the Aroostook border disputes were ruled in favor of the British Empire. Despite that, Florida and most of Texas are shown as American territory. The map shows wearing consistent with a poorly kept paper item from 1960.
Input: A map of the United States
Setting: Fine
Output: A world map in Romanian, dated 1715. The continents are depicted in a way similar to that in Steven Universe (including a different South American-African split and a hole in Siberia). However, the world map itself shares more in common with Io Mihailŭ, Împĕratul Românilor, the main differences being the continued independence of Portugal, a lack of a "Scandinavian North Asia", and the existence of a Jurchen Khanate in the Far East.
Note: Fair enough. But of all things, a Romania wank in "Steven Universe" is definitely not something that I would have expected. - Dr. Cleveland
Test 914-1509
Test 914-1510
Name: Junior Researcher Koop
Date: 15/03/2020
Total Items: One USB drive containing the article of SCP-████, a file that only requires 0/GENERAL access
Note: I know it's counterintuitive to redact a 0/GENERAL file, but it's not important for the test. All that should be known is that it's Safe, Dark, Notice, and the only object warning is mild cognitohazard. If you really want to dig, it's probably in the standard employee handbook, 34th edition. - J.R. Koop
Input: Said USB drive
Setting: Fine
Output: A USB drive of a different model. The drive contains a .mp4 file resembling a televised EAS alert, describing an apparent containment breach of SCP-682, informing all residents of Florida to shelter in place. The Foundation does not collaborate with the FCC or NOAA to deliver EAS alerts. The SAME header and video transcript have been decoded below.
| Raw Data | Transcript | Explanation of Raw Data |
|---|---|---|
| ZCZC-SCP-SPW-012000-0630-██████-████/SCPF | The SCP Foundation, in collaboration with the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation, Unusual Incidents Unit, and the Department of Defense, has issued a SHELTER IN PLACE warning for the state of FLORIDA from 12:36 PM to 7:06 PM. All residents of Florida should shelter in place immediately by entering the innermost room of a sturdy building. If you cannot make it to a shelter, hide anywhere you can. If you are on a road, pull over and hide in your vehicle. If you see a large reptilian creature approximately 20-30 feet long, do not let it see you and do not engage in fighting it. Hazard: Large, aggressive, reptilian entity traveling across the Florida Panhandle. Precautions: Shelter in place in a sturdy building. [Message is repeated in Spanish] | The first block is simply a starting tone. The second block is the originator code, which has the code "SCP¹.," instead of "CIV" or "PEP," which relate to civil authorities or national officials. The third code relates to the event code, which is a shelter in place warning (SPW). The fourth code is the region code, which corresponds to the entire state of Florida². The fifth code relates to the time of conclusion, which is precisely 6 hours and 30 minutes from the broadcast. The sixth code is the exact time code, which has not been decoded as of now. The final code is the station broadcast code, wherein this case is the PM (polarized modulation) radio station code for Facility-23, which has been redacted for security reasons. |
Note: I'm surprised that there wasn't a cognitohazard. Surely 914 hid some weird paranoia thing in the attention tones. I'm just going insane after this fucking job. 914 HASN'T PUT A [EXPLETIVE REDACTED] COGNITOHAZARD- - J.R. Koop
Note: Junior Researcher Koop was sedated has been scheduled for mandatory psychiatric evaluation for work-related stress. The output is not cognitohazardous, but feel free to come over if you're under some Nocebo Effect. - Psychiatric Specialist Insano
Footnotes
1. Originator code "SCP" has never been in use.
2. SCP-682 has never been contained in Florida.
