Per 
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid Keter Neutrilized
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX CONTAINMENT PROCEDURES HAS BEEN REMOVED BY THE DIRECTOR.
Description: SCP-XXXX Is a keychain of a character from The Simpsons known as Duff Man. SCP-XXXX However is alive and can speak. However, SCP-XXXX Is very violent and dangerous. When making contact to SCP-XXXX, will cause a fight to break out which will result in a 5.9% chance of
winning. SCP-XXXX Is very intelligent. SCP-XXXX Is very, very strong and is strong enough to trick anyone and can stab, chock, and knock out someones teeth. SCP-XXXX However is safely secured in its locker and hasn't been able to get out. Every 5 hours SCP-XXXX should be fed the following daily.
Breakfast: Beer
Lunch: Beer
Dinner: Beer and Nuts. SCP-XXXX No longer needs to be fed.
When feeding SCP-XXXX should be done by a tiny sipping tube to drink out of and a highly secured hole that can be opened when entered credentials.
>8/4/14<
SCP-XXXX: [Hey you listen here buster! Get me out of this room I'm not doing this! I will legit beat your head until it becomes ravioli!]Interviewer:[Welp it appears because your in that box you cant. But I just want to ask a few questions.]
SCP-XXXX: [I don't got time for this. Can I like just write it on a piece of paper our something.]
Interviewer: [Tell us where you came from]
SCP-XXXX: [Well I came from a factory, then I was on some 5th graders backpack, blah blah blah ok were done here now let me go!]
Interviewer: [What was that 5th graders name and what did you do to him?]
SCP-XXXX: [Well I was his favorite keychain, one night he decided to wash me and then I got tired of pretending I'm not alive. So I just drowned him and left! I don't need no washin.
<End Log>
