LokiDog's draft

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object class: Euclid

Special containment procedures:
SCP-XXXX is to be kept in a standard humanoid containment cell. SCP-XXXX may not be given any objects designated to be delivered. SCP-XXXX may not be given verbal instructions to deliver any object.

With authorization from level 4 or 5 personnel, SCP-XXXX may deliver packages for the Foundation. While delivering packages, SCP-XXXX is to be tracked and recorded at all times. If SCP-XXXX is given a delivery by any non-Foundation individuals, it is to be restrained and returned to containment immediately.

Description:
SCP-XXXX is a Caucasian male of Greek origin. Whenever SCP-XXXX is given any item designated for delivery, or given instructions to deliver an item, its primary goal will be to deliver the item to its destination or recipient. While delivering an item, SCP-XXXX is immune to all physical damage. SCP-XXXX can quickly learn any skills necessary to deliver an item.

While delivering a package, SCP-XXXX will always behave politely and professionally. It regards delivering packages as a career, despite having no known employer or salary.

SCP-XXXX has expressed a desire to assist the Foundation on several occasions. After two years in containment with no incidents, SCP-XXXX was given authorization to deliver packages for the Foundation by 05-██. SCP-XXXX currently wears an earpiece during deliveries, for the purposes of both tracking it and allowing it to communicate with Foundation personnel.

While SCP-XXXX is most often used for transporting supplies and anomalous items, it has been used by MTF commanders for combative purposes.

+ Interview log XXXX-1

Interviewed: SCP-XXXX

Interviewer: Dr. Green

<Begin Log>
Dr. Green: Good evening, SCP-XXXX.

SCP-XXXX: Hi, Dr. Green. Are we doing more tests today?

Dr. Green: No tests today. Just an interview.

SCP-XXXX: Okay.

Dr. Green: Alright. First question: How did your anomalous properties come to be?

SCP-XXXX: I don’t know.

Dr. Green: Okay. Why do you deliver packages?

SCP-XXXX: It’s my job.

Dr. Green: What do you mean, it’s your job? Do you have an employer? A paycheck?

SCP-XXXX: I don’t think so. It’s just sort of… like, it’s an instinct for me to deliver packages.

Dr. Green: Alright. How long have you been delivering packages?

SCP-XXXX: As long as I can remember.

Dr. Green: How long is that?

SCP-XXXX: No idea. A long time. Can’t really give you any numbers.

Dr. Green: Alright. So, you've said that your name is Hermes. Does this name have any relation to the Greek god Hermes?

SCP-XXXX: Who?

Dr. Green: Never mind, then. Have you delivered anomalous objects before? If so, can you describe them?

SCP-XXXX: Oh, yeah, plenty. Off the top of my head… there was one time I was in Scotland, and I had to deliver this indestructible shield. And then, just a few months ago, my last employer had me deliver this wooden doll. It had this thing where, when you moved its limbs, your limbs would move too.

Dr. Green: Interesting. I’ll look into those. And that actually leads into my next question. You mentioned your last employer, who was that?

SCP-XXXX: Auction house called MC&D. Stands for Marshall, Carver, and Dart, or something like that. I don’t know, I was only with them for a week or two.

Dr. Green: Alright, those are all the questions I have for now. Before I leave, I should tell you: I told the 05s about your request to work for us. They’ve said they’ll consider it.

<End Log>

Delivery logs:

I’m only putting a handful of the most eventful deliveries on this document. If you want to see all of them, go through the actual delivery log file.
-Dr. Green

+ Delivery log XXXX-3

Dr. Green: Today we’re having SCP-XXXX deliver SCP-018 from Site ██ to Site ██ for improved containment. Delivery began approximately 1 hour and 23 minutes ago. SCP-018 is currently contained within a temporary containment unit for transport. The containment unit is currently in the trailer of a truck being driven by SCP-XXXX.

(Audio recorded 1 hour and 41 minutes into delivery)

SCP-XXXX: Dr. Green? There’s a bit of an issue here.

Dr. Green: Yes? What is it?

SCP-XXXX: There’s some noise in the back. It’s getting louder. I’m going to pull over and investigate.

SCP-XXXX can be heard pulling the truck over and exiting. At the same time, loud noises can be heard from the truck’s trailer.

SCP-XXXX: Yeah, I think there’s an issue with the containment thing.

Dr. Green: XXXX, you can’t allow the SCP to get loose. It could cause catastrophic damage before we can reco-

The sound of the truck’s trailer exploding open can be heard.

SCP-XXXX: Yeah, it’s too late for that. It just burst out of the truck. Flew really far into the air.

Dr. Green: Alright, listen carefully. I-

SCP-018 can be heard loudly hitting the ground a few meters from SCP-XXXX

Dr. Green: XXXX, listen: In the trailer, there is a box of polyethy-

SCP-XXXX: I’m gonna try to catch it.

SCP-XXXX can be heard running.

Dr. Green: XXXX, that is not going to work. You have to get the-

SCP-XXXX loudly crashes into the ground.

Dr. Green: XXXX?

SCP-XXXX: Yep- yeah, I got it. Hit me pretty hard, but I managed to get it.

Dr. Green: Oh, thank goodness.

SCP-XXXX: See, that’s why you need me around. That probably would’ve killed anyone else.

Dr. Green: Alright, time to finish the log. I’ve included some audio from XXXX successfully re-obtaining 018. There were no civilian witnesses, thankfully. We sent a small group of MTF to drive XXXX to Site ██ with 018. No further complications after that.

+ Delivery log XXXX-17

SCP-XXXX: I guess I still have to fill out a log for this delivery, even though it was an… unusual one. I had just finished delivering some amnestics to Site ██, when the Site was attacked by the Chaos Insurgency. MTF Commander Jackson gave me a rifle and a magazine and told me to “deliver these bullets into those a-holes’ heads.” So, uh, I did that. Delivery happened without any complications, I guess. Took about 3 minutes.

+ Delivery log XXXX-19

Commander Jackson: After the “incident” a couple weeks ago, I got Dr. Green's permission to test out Hermes for combat.

SCP-XXXX: Aren’t you supposed to call me-

Commander Jackson: Your SCP number? Yeah, I know. But if you’re working for me, I’m gonna call you by your name. Now, quiet down, I gotta finish with this log. Anyways, figure by using him, we can prevent a lot of MTF deaths. Recently, we tracked down a Chaos Insurgency base in Arizona. Pretty sure they're the same guys who attacked Site ██ a while back. We’re dropping Hermes off a couple kilometers away from it, and having him deliver a small, powerful bomb to the base. He’s got the bomb in a backpack. We’ve got a handful of snipers around the base in case any insurgents try and get away. You ready, Hermes?

SCP-XXXX: Yes, sir.

Commander Jackson: Alright, let’s do this.

(Audio taken from 32 minutes into delivery)

SCP-XXXX: Commander, the base is in sight.

Commander Jackson: Alright, Hermes. They’re probably gonna start shooting at you. Just make sure they don’t hit the bomb, and everything should be fine.

SCP-XXXX: Got it.

Chaos Insurgent: Hey, pal, this is private property.

Commander Jackson: Ignore him. Keep going.

At this time, the Chaos Insurgent approaches SCP-XXXX.

Chaos Insurgent: I’m gonna need you to leave.

SCP-XXXX continues approaching the base.

Chaos Insurgent: Seriously, if-

Commander Jackson: Fuck it, just take this guy out.

SCP-XXXX punches the Chaos Insurgent, rendering him unconscious. Gunshots can be heard immediately afterwards. SCP-XXXX enters the base. Gunshots continue.

Commander Jackson: Alright, Hermes, before you finish the delivery, get somewhere in there where you’re not being shot at.

SCP-XXXX: Alright.

SCP-XXXX enters the bathroom in the base and locks the door.

Commander Jackson: Alright, now go ahead and finish the delivery. Now, I want you to deliver, uh, deliver your right shoe to me.

SCP-XXXX: Okay.

Commander Jackson: Great. Now get ready to blow up.

An explosion is heard before audio cuts out.

Commander Jackson: Delivery was a huge success. Entire base was destroyed. Six insurgents survived, but we gunned them down immediately afterwards. Hermes showed up around an hour later, holding what was left of his shoe. I’m definitely gonna be using him again in the future.