LoudSpaghet
rating: 0+x

Item #: SCP-XXXX-J

Object Class: Safe Keter

Special Containment Procedures:
SCP-XXXX-J is to be kept somewhere outside my fucking office. SCP-XXXX-J should remain away from all kinds of normal people that just try to do their god damn job.
SCP-XXXX-J is free to roam the entirety of site-██'s accountants offices for some unknown reason.
Twice a week, SCP-XXXX-J's liter box is to be cleaned by someone other than me because I have done that like a dozen times and it is disgusting.
Once a day, SCP-XXXX-J is to be fed a mixture of rotten fish and dog shit, at least that's what it smells like. SCP-XXXX-J is not allowed to eat anything besides it's dedicated food because last time Josh gave it some dog food it barfed over my entire office and cleaning that up was the single worst experience of my life.
Staff may interact and pet SCP-XXXX-J as they please however don't do that stupid baby voice especially not Sarah because whenever she encounters SCP-XXXX-J she unleashes the highest, most annoying screechy cry which makes me long for the agonizing screams of terror in hell.

Description:
SCP-XXXX-J has the appearance of a female Felis silvestris catus (Domestic cat) with black & white colorization and is speculated to be 7 years of age. Upon closer inspection SCP-XXXX-J is revealed to be a spawn of Satan with apparent cognihazardous effects. Whenever an individual observes SCP-XXXX-J they fall into an immediate hysteria over the fact that they haven't petted them in 2 seconds.
SCP-XXXX-J is known to be a complete annoyance to me, and nobody else. It frequently decides to utilize my seat as a sleeping vessel whenever I go out for a coffee, it has repeatably destroyed vital drinking containers by pushing them of my desk like the asshole it is, the situated cat tree has proofed to be ineffective in controlling SCP-XXXX-J's rage since it still decided to scratch open my entire chair on three different occasions and it was also observed from enabling people to write proper reports by stepping on the keyboard at the worst fuc'kl'pom'p;oihjdsuygsdasawer3545687iu80ikl9 TIME.

SCP-XXXX-J origins are unknown but is it speculated that that bitch Madison brought it here just before she moved to site-█ leaving me with all this work to do.

I recommend immediate transfer to a safer containment environment like an animal shelter or someone's home that isn't me.