lulatred

"And maybe one day I'll remember who I am."

It's raining.

It's raining a lot.

It's raining and I'm alone.

Swimming through my memories.

They are out there, looking for me, because of what I have done. I was just following orders. I tried to explain, but they didn't wanted to hear me. I needed to do it.

The rain is so pretty.

The rain is so calm.

The rain is so loud.

And so silent at the same time.

The voice, the sweet and comforting voice. It told me to do that. I don't know why. They just don't understand. It tells me to do many things. I'm not a murderer. Am I? No. No I'm not. I'm a messenger. Just like the voice said.

Everyone likes the rain.

The plants.

The animals.

And me.

Is crazy, it is almost like the voice printed the instructions in my brain. It was so loud and bright. Anyway. I think they're getting closer. My house is so dark and cold. I just realized that. Is this even my home? I feel like I should know.

The rain speaks.

The rain sings.

Old phrases from old manuscripts.

And forgotten songs from forgotten civilizations.

I can't remember anything. Who my mother is. Or was. Or will be. I can't remember my childhood. If I even had any. My name. I can't remember my name. John? Jack? Josh? I don't remember anything. It's almost like all my memories had been replaced by this number. 1927. I don't even know what it means. This window is really dirty. And broken. And cold. But I like it that way.

The rain is calling me.

The rain is crying for help.

The rain is feeling sad.

And scared.

I hear them coming. I don't even remember who they are. Or why they are coming. But they're almost here. I feel like I should run. But I can't move. It's almost as if my mind were separated from my body. My hat is wet. My shoes are wet. My cigarette is wet. But i'm fine with it.

The rain is getting weak.

The rain is fading away.

And i am feeling the same.

They are here. I never noticed how pretty Danny's car is. Wait. Who is Danny? It doesn't matter. The weak door from this apartment will not hold them for long. I don't even think I locked it. It's inevitable. I've served my purpose. Now I will find light and peace. Just like it promised me.

The rain is screaming.

And I don't even care.

They are inside. I don't even want to look behind me. I hear voices. Everything is so clear now. All I've done. All that I am. Just to get me in this exact moment. I feel something cold in the back of my head. A pipe? A gun? I'm not even scared. Even though I feel like I should be.

The rain is changing.

From black.

To grey.

To white.

To red.

I'm all over the place.

Pieces of me spread all around the world.

But my mind is now free.

I just realized.

I forgot it all.

But it doesn't matter.

Because now I am one with the rain.

And maybe one day I'll remember who I am.