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Ponythulu
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: Ponythulu normally stays in the room provided by the Foundation in order to keep him out of the public eye, but all scientific, psionic, and magical attempts to contain him fail completely. Not only that, but due to past events (see Addendum Ponythulu.2) Ponythulu has made it so that [DATA REDACTED/DATA UN-REDACTED BY PONYTHULU. Your welcome.- Ponythulu] all attempts to redact or expunge data on Ponythulu are undone. Staff interaction with Ponythulu is currently forbidden after the events of Addendum Ponythulu.3, until further notice.
Description: Ponythulu's normal appearance is roughly humanoid with: an equine head and hooves instead of feet, a tentacle beard consisting of twenty tentacles and a mustache consisting of two slightly larger tentacles, two large feathery wings sprout from his back, and he possesses a curved horn growing from his forehead along with two rectangular three-pronged antlers. His body is made of some unidentifiable and/or incomprehensible plasma, which is mostly green in color with midnight blue veins across and throughout it's entirety. Although he normally stays around 12 feet/3.6576m he has displayed the ability to grow more than large enough to be able to hold the Earth in his hand. He claims to be unbound by dimensional space, and that his real size is larger than infinities stacked upon each other. Naturally we are unable to prove this for certain, but we have yet to see him lie, and by his own words regarding his powers: "You can believe me or not, it doesn't really matter."
Addendum Ponythulu.1: Arrival
Ponythulu arrived on Earth in 2018, but the exact time is unknown even by him as, according to him: "time is a lesser concept which doesn't usually deserve a second thought." We confirmed his existence from security logs of various top secret locations he was breaking into in order to amuse himself (always to the accompaniment of "heist music"). A list of things taken by him include: a flawless green diamond shaped like a large human skull, a black egg covered in glittering white stars, and a 24-pack of toilet paper; which was subsequently used to t-p the Great Pyramid of Khufu (after finding out that toilet paper isn't free, he created a gold nugget the size of a watermelon in order to pay for it. The other items remain unpaid for, and the precise reasons for their theft remain unknown, possibly due to the events of Addendum Ponythulu.2). He then moon-walked to the Foundation and into the cell which we had been preparing to contain him in. Following interviews with Dr. Bright determined that Ponythulu was a master of magic, psionics, and physical combat. Dr. Bright was subsequently banned from seeing Ponythulu again due to asking for and receiving a pet alligator rocket launcher (referred to hereafter as Ponythulu-1). Ponythulu-1 is now contained in the containment cell of Ponythulu.
Addendum Ponythulu.2: Burnt Bridge
Dr. Blake was assigned to study Ponythulu following the removal of Dr. Bright.
Dr. Blake learnt the past of Ponythulu. Long ago in a distant multiverse Ponythulu's life was saved by his master/father: [DATA EXPUNGED BY PONYTHULU. You no longer deserve to know his name.- Ponythulu], by his father generating magical midnight blue ink from his own body, and merging it with Ponythulu in order to heal him. He was then given his name by his new father, and vowed to serve him as his high priest. This part was apparently disliked by his new father (who was apparently Christian), and it was amended that he would be a priest of both (but that he would have to worship God first and foremost).
Shortly after learning this story it was also learned that the Ponythulu-1 is capable of reproducing asexually, that they hatch within hours, and that even shortly after hatching they are capable of spewing explosives (albeit with reduced explosive yield).
Dr. Blake made note of all these things, but due to being an atheist and disliking referring to various entities as gods/God as much as many Foundation members, didn't include the aforementioned divine status of [DATA STILL EXPUNGED- Ponythulu] Ponythulu's father and the Christian God, and even noted his astonishment that such an advanced being would still believe in such "drivel". Ponythulu was visibly enraged when it sensed the report being typed into Dr. Blake's computer, and broke containment in order to voice this anger.
Ponythulu stood up from his lazy boy, visbly enraged, and stomped toward the door of his containment cell, shaking the entire facility with each step. When he reached the blast door, it folded open and away from him like a metal flower, as well as the entire facility between him and Dr. Blake. This resulted in the opening of several SCP containment cells, but the SCP'S within them just hid in the corners of their cells and waited for Ponythulu to walk past them. As soon as he went through each opening, they closed behind him, making it appear as if there had never even been an opening there before.
Upon reaching a visibly terrified Dr. Blake, he said: "I don't care what you believe about me, but slander of my God and my father god will not be tolerated. My offerings of aid and knowledge are forthwith rescinded. Enjoy the death coming for you soon."
Ponythulu then left for four hours in order to perform some unknown action, but it is presumed that he once again began removing items that he deemed us as unfit to posses.
Further attempts at communication (even after removing Dr. Blake) have been unsuccessful.
The latest attempt ended in Ponythulu removing Dr. Blake's top research assistant's ability to talk, read, and write. Attempts to restore speech, and attempts to re-teach reading and writing have failed. It is presumed that even the ability to learn these things were removed by Ponythulu.
Addendum Ponythulu.3: Disaster
SCP-682 breached containment. As SCP-682 tore through the facility, Dr. Bright led a small group to the cell of Ponythulu in the hopes of convincing him to help them, but Ponythulu replied that this wasn't his problem.
Dr. Blake began apologizing, and said, "Look, I'm sorry-."
Ponythulu however, held up his right index finger and said in an angry voice that caused the room to darken, and all of the Ponythulu-1 to cower, "Don't lie to me. I can tell whenever any of you lie to me."
SCP-682 then broke into Ponythulu's cell, and screeched to a halt upon seeing Ponythulu sitting in his lazy boy and talking to the group.
Ponythulu didn't so much as spare it a glance as 682 stared at him in what can only be described as sheer terror.
Dr. Bright pleaded with Ponythulu, "Please, a lot of us probably deserve to die, but not everyone."
A glowing white bubble expanded from Ponythulu, and while most of the group passed through the outside and was protected inside, Dr. Blake was pushed back by it.
"You may have him," Ponythulu told 682.
682 let out a breath it had been holding for the entire time, and quickly ate Dr. Blake.
"Now back to your cell," Ponythulu told it, and 682 ran out and back to its cell. "Well, is anyone else hungry? I'm gonna go get me a couple 20 pieces with a dozen large fries and sodas."
"I could eat," Dr. Bright replied, and the two left with the group of survivors.
Following these events, it is being discussed how to get back on Ponythulu's good side as it may provide not only a safe way to contain several of the more dangerous SCP's, but a way to finally dispose of 682. Other benefits are being thought up in order to convince a majority vote to be called in favor of this. However, there remain no ideas on how to actually get this done.
For his efforts in convincing Ponythulu to help stop 682's rampage, it is currently being discussed whether or not letting Dr. Bright have a moat in which to keep the instances of Ponythulu-1 (allegedly as a way to help contain SCPs and keep intruders out, but we all know he just wants it because he thinks it would be cool).
