Dr. MacWarren is lying down on a chaise lounge chair in a therapist's office looking at the ceiling. His eyes catch a glimpse of the wall-mounted clock. It's 6:56 PM.
The psychotherapist sitting cross-legged on the opposite end glances briefly at her watch and then she looks back at him.
"I don't know where to begin." He tells her in full honesty.
"Connor, it's better for you to try and speak." She takes off her glasses and sets it aside on the table. "What's holding you back?"
He could feel the exasperation in her voice, but he doesn't want to talk to her about it. Not because he doesn't like talking to people, but because he doesn't know where to even begin.
"You want to start with your family members?"
Oh God, please no. He could already feel at the back of his spine who she's going to ask him about.
"How about we start with your father?"
Of course. His father. Liam MacWarren. "What is there to say? Dad's in-"
"-in the GOC, yes, we know. We also know that he's ex-military and served for twenty-two years." She said as she covered her mouth to clear her throat. "But uh… I want to know more about your relationship with him. Is there any-"
"We talk." He replies quickly. "Well, used to, at least. I've- sometimes we catch up and-"
"Connor."
"Yes?"
"I mean what was he like during your childhood?"
"Oh, Jesus Christ, talk about a loaded question."
He turned his head to the clock again. It's 6:58 PM.
"I take it he wasn't a good parental figure during your adolescent years, right? It must be difficult-"
"Yeah, no he uh- yeah. Yeah, he's- I know he tried, alright? He didn't have a dad to raise him so he just… y'know, eyeballed it with me and see how it went. Look at how well that turned out. I- I just-"
He starts to lose sense of where to take this.
"Was it abusive?" She started. "If this is too personal we could discuss that at a different time."
"Well, he, uh did slap me around a few times when I'd mess up. But that was when I was young. Like, really young. Eventually, he told me that he'll stop it but he still hit me out of frustration occasionally. He always excused it that what he did was just a 'light tap'; simultaneously trying to scare me that he could hit much harder and that it didn't count as physical harm. Mom didn't help much either. She's kinda like dad but in a different way."
"How different was she?"
"Well, she didn't really like that I was questioning her authority. Each time we fought over something, which was usually over stupid shit, it'd always end up with her telling me that it's my fault when it comes to problems and- I'd tell her that I wouldn't have even known in the first place… so she tells me that I "should have" known. Like-"
He scratches his head in frustration. Connor doesn't know how to explain it, all he want is for this to be over and done with. The sooner he spills his guts. the faster he can try and move on from this state.
"Do you know what my whole life felt like when I was living under their roof?" He asked her.
"What was it like, Connor?"
"It all feels like I'm inside of this room. A room with no doors or windows. Just four walls, each of them with a crudely drawn picture of someone I recognize. I try to ask for help to get out of the room but you know what?" He looks up at her. "I realize that I've been talking to drawings on walls my whole life. I get shit from them and there's nothing I can do about it but shut up and take it. No matter how pissed off it makes me; and that's the thing: I can't get mad. No matter how angry I am at any given moment, I just can't bring myself to raise my voice and yell like I could blow up."
He puts both palms on his face as he started to drag them downwards.
"Fuck, I can't get mad at someone in an argument without crying. I can only resent people. I resent the way my mom and dad treated me. I don't know if the even knew what they were doing but it just-"
And then he's at a loss.
"I don't know what else to say." He replies. "Sorry for ranting but- you probably get that a lot."
"Oh I do." She retorted. "I don't mind, really."
He looks up at the clock. It's 7:04 PM.
"You know, I feel sorry for him. My dad, I mean. It's like- like I'm watching a poor dog losing themselves and going rabid." I put a hand on my hair and pull it back as it flows through my fingers. "Except this disease is inside them and the only way to fix it is to just let them go."
He looks back at the clock again. It's 7:05 PM.
"Hey." Connor MacWarren stands at the doorway of her office. The session's already over but he puts in the extra effort to ask her another question.
"What's uh- your assessment?"
"Of you? What exactly do you want to know?"
"Uh… you know, like, my general personality? My psyche? Attitude? I- I don't really know what exactly it is that psychotherapists look for in their patients."
Her eyes glowed in astonishment as she smiled at him. "Connor, my assessment of you is that you suffer from feelings of inadequacy and you have problems with your self-worth. Based on you being emotionally abused by your parents, and your inability to properly function in social events, I'd say that the constant gaslighting done to you severely damaged your ability to relate and form relationships with others." She tilted her head to her left as she held on to the door knob. "That's why your colleagues file personnel reports on you for being "egotistical" and "full of yourself". Because you want to make up for not standing up for yourself when you know that you're right."
Connor doesn't know exactly how to take all of this. There's some truth in there, sure, but this is the first time in a long time that he's had to hear this from the perspective of another.
"I can't really tell if that was criticism disguised as a compliment or just a plain insult."
"See? Which is why…" She began. "You got to work on yourself and that crippling low self-esteem of yours. It's not healthy to keep thinking that way. People do care about you Connor. No one's out to hate your guts for no reason."
"And if they do?"
"Well, fuck them. You don't have to bow to others' validation. Just be yourself." She pulled into her coat pocket and puled out a piece of paper. "Here's my number, if you just need someone to talk to, well, hit me up. Preferably when I'm not in a meeting."
"Cool, thanks." As he took the folded paper from her fingers. "I really appreciate it uh…"
"Did you forget my name again?" She scowled.
"Ahhhh…"
She sighs as she immediately grabs the paper and begins to write on it with her pen. "Here. Please try not to forget, hm?" She hands it over to his hands in cursive, her name spells itself out to him.
"Amy… Yeah uh-"
The door slams shut on my face.
"-thanks."
SCPs
Make an SCP about an old man with weird shit or something
Make an SCP about a church's complex interior that loops and gets even more complex with it's patterns each time someone enters/exits through the main doors.
Make an SCP about Anamnesis
an·am·ne·sis
anəmˈnēsis (noun)
recollection: in particular, the remembering of things from a supposed previous existence… it is the idea that humans possess knowledge from past incarnations and that learning consists of rediscovering that knowledge within us.
Make an SCP about Humanity's need for wanton self-destruction.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures:
Description: SCP-XXXX is the designation given to a pair of Capra aegagrus (Wild goat) held in Greenland, Scandinavia.
SCP-XXXX-A is a 30 foot tall Capra falconeri (Markhor). Around SCP-XXXX-A's neck is a metal collar of unknown composition and engraved in runic inscriptions.
SCP-XXXX-B is a 30 foot tall Capra nubiana (Nubian ibex). Around SCP-XXXX-B's neck is a metal collar of unknown composition and engraved in runic inscriptions.
Item#: SCP-5066
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5066 is contained inside a locked item locker. No further containment protocols are necessary.
Description: SCP-5066 is a fleshlight with a brand at the side of its handle that reads "Cumbuster 9000" and on the other end, reads "By Inevitability Industries.
SCP-5066's anomalous properties manifest during coitus between human males, females, and the user of SCP-5066. SCP-5066 alters SCP-5066-1's spermatozoa to change into SCP-5066-3's sperm whenever SCP-5066-3 ejaculates into SCP-5066.
SCP-5066 increases SCP-5066-3's sperm motility and semen volume. This usually causes SCP-5066-2 to become pregnant with the child of SCP-5066-3 with SCP-5066-1 acting as a sort of "carrier" for SCP-5066-3's sperm.
However, SCP-5066 only functions if SCP-5066-1 and SCP-5066-2 are engaging in sexual intercourse while SCP-5066-3 uses SCP-5066 simultaneously. This also requires SCP-5066-3 to think about SCP-5066-3 during this period.
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:My_new_Fleshlight_insert_-_Flickr_-_stnu.jpg
Item#: SCP-5390
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5390 is to be contained in a standard humanoid containment cell at Site-17. The cell is to be furnished with standard amenities and no sharp and/or bladed objects, that can be used as a weapon, are to be brought inside. SCP-5390 is to meet with the Site Therapist once a month with each session taking no longer than 30 minutes to an hour. On the corners of the cell's ceiling are high-intensity spotlights with a brightness not exceeding 650 lumens.
In the event of an SCP-5390-B manifestation, all research personnel are to avoid contact with SCP-5390 until Site therapist Dr. Kenton can calm her down. If SCP-5390-B persists, Mobile Task Force Epsilon-2 ("Caretakers") are to be sent to the location of SCP-5390.
Personnel are to be armed with standard tranquilizers, In the event should these weapons prove ineffective to SCP-5390, personnel are to activate the high-intensity spotlights and their flashlights at SCP-5390-A until SCP-5390-B ceases to exist.
Description: SCP-5390 is the designation given to two entities; SCP-5390-A is a female human of European descent, 16 years of age as of 2026, 173 cm tall and weighs 66.8 kg. SCP-5390-A does not display any anomalous properties apart from the inability to die. Any harm inflicted on SCP-5390-A will heal immediately, any large cuts or gunshot wounds will heal at an accelerated rate.
SCP-5390-A displays symptoms consistent with mental health disorders, most notably Post-traumatic stress disorder and major depressive disorder
SCP-5390-A suffers from periods of mental breakdowns and sudden bouts of depression or suicidal tendencies. These periods occur randomly.
During these periods, an entity hereafter designated as SCP-5390-B, will manifest in a gaseous form of dark coloration.
SCP-5390-B is a polymorphic entity with the ability to take on other forms, however the most consistent of these is a tall and black humanoid mass with elongated hands and fingers. No feet or legs are visible as it appears to be that SCP-5390-B is connected to SCP-5390-A from the waist down to her shadow behind her.
Recovery Log: SCP-5390 was discovered in ██████ █████ State Hospital, located in Baltimore, Maryland. Agent Omen was dispatched to the location after personnel discovered an ongoing phone conversation occurring in an apartment complex about a mutilated corpse. Agent Omen was sent to the state hospital to recover SCP-5390. Class-C amnestics were administered to the hospital staff and doctors. The body of SCP-5390's father, Leon Barclay, was taken for analysis and cold storage.
Addendum 5390.01: Memo from Dr. Gregory Kenton's office regarding SCP-5390-A's mental health.
After much deliberation on 5390-A's psyche, I believe it best that she be allowed to have her own tape recorder with her at all times. It'd help her sanity and keep it as a form of "Mental Diary" for her own sake. This has shown to be very therapeutic and helps ease her mind. The last time we gave her a diary, she tried to stab herself with the pencil. Hopefully, this won't happen again.
- Greg
Addendum 5390.02: Recordings taken from SCP-5390's personal audio recording device.
Note: All run times of the recordings are approximately 45 minutes to 2 hours long for each pause. Due to this, all recordings have been edited to omit the long pauses in between the gaps of speech.
Dr. Kenton gave me this thing… Neat. I suppose he wants me to keep a mental checklist on my sanity? I guess I should trust this… Not that I have a choice anyway.
The pills help keep me sane. They keep me afloat. Keep me safe. I can- I can keep going. I can get through this. You know that you're stronger than you think you are.
No. You're doing this for attention. You want his attention. We both know that, you liar.
I'm not doing this for attention, you fucking idiot. I'm- I-
You don't even know what you're talking about! You waste of fucking space, you-
I know what I am! I just- I just- I just- I just don't fucking know if w- wh- what I'm saying is even correct or right! I've been told so many fucking times that I'm either lying about it or that I enjoy starting shit with people! Do I look like I enjoy this!? Leave me alone!
You don't know what to do… You don't know- don't know what to do anymore.
You don't- What are you even doing? You're crying and sobbing but you don't know what else to do but cry. That's it, that's all you can do.
Nobody here knows what I feel, they don't know what I've been through.
He doesn't understand… me. Dr. Kenton doesn't. He thinks that everything will be alright but he's wrong. He's so very wrong.
What's wrong with you? Fix yourself. I hate this, I hate crying.
But I don't know what else to do.
Note: At this point in the recording, the crying and sobbing continues for 1 more hour, repeating the words "You don't know what to do" and "I hate this", before it abruptly ends.
Addendum 5390.03: Interviews on SCP-5390's mental health.
Interviewed: SCP-5390-A
Interviewer: Dr. Gregory Kenton, Site Therapist.
<Begin Log>
Dr. Kenton: Please state your name for the record.
SCP-5390-A: Natalie Barclay.
Dr. Kenton: Okay Miss Barton, or do you prefer if I just call you by your first name? Uh… Natalie?
Subject nods her head in approval.
Dr. Kenton: Alright Natalie, for our first session, I want to ask you about your family.
SCP-5390-A: What about them?
Dr. Kenton: Describe to me your relationship with them, if you feel comfortable talking about it.
Subject is unresponsive.
Dr. Kenton: If you feel this is a bad time, I can come back tomorrow then.
SCP-5390-A: Horrible.
Dr. Kenton: I'm sorry, what?
SCP-5390-A: He was horrible. My mom died giving birth to me and my dad wouldn't stop blaming me for it
Dr. Kenton: I see.
SCP-5390-A: Most of my life spent with him consisted of the constant yelling and disappointment and even more yelling. I always took that resentment and anger and just sucked it up.
Dr. Kenton: So your father was hard on you?
Subject pauses for a few seconds.
SCP-5390-A: It took a toll on me. Mentally… and physically.
Dr. Kenton: Did he hurt you?
Subject does not respond.
Dr. Kenton: Natalie?
SCP-5390-A: I really… don't want to… to talk about it. Please.
Dr. Kenton: Okay, we'll just pick this up next week, or if you're feeling better. Are you fine with that?
SCP-5390-A: Yes please.
<End Log>
Interviewed: SCP-5390-A
Interviewer: Dr. Gregory Kenton, Site Therapist
Foreword: Monthly update on SCP-5390-A's mental health.
<Begin Log>
Dr. Kenton: Hello Natalie. You still want to continue from yesterday?
SCP-5390-A: Yeah.
Dr. Kenton: Go ahead.
SCP-5390-A: I lived with my dad in a small apartment in Brooklyn. He worked in a construction firm I think. Each time he finished work, he'd go to a bar with his drinking buddies, get wasted, and come home drunk and sleep on the couch because he couldn't climb up the stairs to go to his room.
Dr. Kenton: Hmm.
SCP-5390-A: And once he wakes up, he'd go to my room and bitch at me until I wake up.
Dr. Kenton: I see, how did your anomalous properties manifest?
SCP-5390-A: It started small, like I was hearing voices or something. Like a mental tic. Telling me words like "It doesn't matter", "It's better this way" and "Just fucking kill him already." I felt like I was going insane. And then after, I could see silhouettes and shadows from across rooms and inside mirrors, I had these night terrors that made me wake up in cold sweat. It happened so frequently, that I was too afraid to go to sleep.
Dr. Kenton: And that's how it started?
SCP-5390-A: Yes.
Dr. Kenton: You seem very… calm about describing these events, Natalie.
SCP-5390-A: Well, if it happens enough times, you'll get used to it.
Dr. Kenton: I suppose so. Natalie, have you ever confronted your father on these events?
SCP-5390-A: I did, but he'd never believe me, either that or he didn't care. Every time I asked him about it, he'd tell me that I was just faking it for attention.
Dr. Kenton: So he never considered that you might be sick or hallucinating?
SCP-5390-A: No.
Dr. Kenton: He didn't give you any medication prior to you confronting him about these events?
Dr. Kenton: Right then, we're going to give you some medicine to help you get better. Hopefully, maybe even this treatment will help you look at yourself in a much better light.
SCP-4280: How would you know I'll get better?
Dr. Kenton: Well, because-
Dr. Kenton proceeds to clear his throat and stand up.
Dr. Kenton: Because I don't believe that there's no one out of reach for anyone to help. You're not alone in this world, Natalie. When people say that no one cares about them, they always think that they're worthless, that they don't matter and that they believe that they deserve all the pain and anguish that comes with life. They think that they'll find better peace and comfort in death, because they think that's the only way to escape the agony that prevails them, that's what drives most people to commit suicide; because life just fucks them over so hard, that they can no longer see the light.
Dr. Kenton moves closer to SCP-4280.
Dr. Kenton: To that, I say that's untrue, There will always be people like that out there that care for you, that care about how you feel. I won't lie when I say that there will be people that will give up on you, but so long as there is one person that believes in you, they will never abandon you and they won't lose hope. I promise you that.
SCP-4280 is unresponsive.
SCP-4280: Uh… I don't know what to say…
Dr. Kenton smiles.
Dr. Kenton: You don't have to say anything.
<End Log>
Interviewed: SCP-4280
Interviewer: Dr. Gregory Kenton, Site Therapist
Foreword: Monthly update on SCP-4280's mental health.
<Begin Log>
Dr. Kenton: Good morning Natalie, did you sleep well? Any bad dreams?
SCP-4280: I slept fine, no bad dreams yet.
Dr. Kenton: That's good Natalie, because I want to ask you something.
SCP-4280: What?
Dr. Kenton: I'm going to ask you something related to the… entity that-
SCP-4280: You mean that big black thing that appears behind me everytime I get depressed?
Dr. Kenton: Well… that's one way to put it, but yes. Do you know what it is? Why it's there?
SCP-4280: Isn't it my depression given form?
SCP-4280 pauses.
SCP-4280: I mean, isn't it obvious? It only appears when I feel like shit, when I feel there's no way of getting out of this hopelessness I've put myself in. Symbolic, isn't it?
Dr. Kenton: It does look symbolic, Natalie; but I don't think that it's your depression. Depression is a symptom, it's an effect of something and this entity is it's cause given form.
SCP-4280: Cause and effect?
Dr. Kenton: Yes. Your mental state is the effect, while this thing is symbolic of what's caused it.
SCP-4280: So it's not my depression?
Dr. Kenton: Natalie, you've told me how your father would physically abuse you. But when we found you, your father was lying in bed at the hospital, unresponsive. Could you tell me how your father went from abusive to being in a vegetative state?
SCP-4280 starts fidgeting in her seat. She appears to be uncomfortable.
Dr. Kenton: I'm sorry, we can do this some other time if you feel-
SCP-4280: No, I'm fine. I was just hoping I didn't have to tell you.
Dr. Kenton: Please go on.
SCP-4280: It started when my dad came home from work, drunk as usual. He came over to me and started talking to me about how hard he's been on me for the past few years, he told me that it was all about "tough love" or something. He said he wanted to make it up to me, he told me that he'll make me feel good to make up for all the times that he put me through hell. I- I- I don't know why, but I- I said that I didn't want anything from him, after what he put me through. But he pulled down his pants and pinned me down on his bed. He kept apologizing to me for what he did, he'd whisper to me and told me that this will fix our family! I kept telling him to let go of me, but he- he hit me and grabbed my face, telling me th- that this was for our own good. He grabbed me by the shoulder and told me to kneel and then- and then I- I- I-
SCP-4280 covers her mouth with her hands.
Dr. Kenton: I'm sorry, Natalie. I'm so, so sorry.
SCP-4280: He showed it to me, told me to put my mouth over it. It felt wrong. It felt disgusting. I felt like I was going to vomit. And then he came, pulled it out and came again on my face. He told me that this will make us both feel better-
Dr. Kenton: Natalie, I-
At that moment, SCP-4280-B appears to slowly manifest from behind SCP-4280. Task force personnel mobilize outside the interview chamber, awaiting Dr. Kenton's command.
Dr. Kenton: Natalie, please, you don't have to continue-
SCP-4280: I killed him.
Dr. Kenton: What?
SCP-4280-B suddenly shrinks behind SCP-4280-A's shadow until no gaseous remnants are observed.
SCP-4280: I killed my dad, I wanted him to die. The shadow just came out of nowhere and tore him apart. It ripped off his legs and arms before it went for his head. That thing mutilated him! I didn't know what to do. I panicked and went to my room and cried for like- like- like hours! I wanted him to be hurt so badly, but I didn't meant to kill him! I wanted him to come back.
Dr. Kenton: …and he came back, didn't he?
SCP-4280: He did. I don't know how I did it but, I went out to try and do something with the body but he was just sitting on his bed. Almost like nothing happened. I had no idea what happened so I approached him and he looked at me. He stood up and walked towards me slowly. I was panicking already and that thing came back and tore him apart again!
Dr. Kenton: What did you do?
SCP-4280: I didn't realize what I had done, I tried to bring him back the same way I did.
Dr. Kenton: By how?
SCP-4280: By imagining that he was still there. I just imagined that he was still alive and he came back, just like that.
Dr. Kenton: You brought him back using your mind?
SCP-4280: Yes. But I felt like with what I could do, I could- I could finally release all that hate that I've built up over the years. I killed him again, and again, and again, and again. I didn't stop until I got tired. But then I realized that there was something wrong with him. When I brought him back, he didn't say anything, he just sat there staring at me from across his bed. I- I- I called up nine-one-one, they picked me up from the apartment to the hospital and- and-
Dr. Kenton: -and that's where we found you.
SCP-4280: Yeah.
<End Log>
Interviewed: SCP-4280
Interviewer: Dr. Gregory Kenton, Site Therapist
Foreword: Monthly update on SCP-4280's mental health.
<Begin Log>
Dr. Kenton: Hey there Natalie, Are you doing well?
SCP-4280: I'm fine.
Dr. Kenton: That's good. Did you have any nightmares? Are you still experiencing those urges?
SCP-4280: I have, but they're not as strong as before.
Dr. Kenton: At least we've made some significant progress on your recovery.
SCP-4280: Yeah… about that…
Dr. Kenton: Hm?
SCP-4280: I don't think I'll ever recover completely.
Dr. Kenton: What do you mean?
SCP-4280: I mean that, with all I've been through, I don't think that I can escape from this "thing" that keeps me from living a normal life.
Dr. Kenton: Are you referring to SCP-4280-B?
SCP-4280: Is that what we're calling it now?
Dr. Kenton: You got a better name?
SCP-4280: I guess not.
SCP-4280 smiles.
Dr. Kenton: Anyway, why do you think that you won't be free of SCP-4280-B?
SCP-4280: Because I know it won't let me go. Over time, I've… come to understand what it is: It's something that was born from the deep recesses of my mind, created by my… despair and agony that I went through, as cheesy as it sounds. I understand now that this thing needs me as much as I don't need it. It was just born from all the unhappy memories that I had to experience growing up. The antidepressants help keep it at bay for a while, but it always comes back. It comes back not to haunt me, but to remind me.
Dr. Kenton: That's some interesting clarity to your situation. But didn't this cause you so much pain?
SCP-4280: It did, but fighting this can only get you so far in life. I've tried to oppose it's will on me for such a long time that it's only gotten harder and harder for me to keep on going. But I've never tried to take it the other way around, I didn't think that if I tried to peacefully reason with it, things would be different. It's bittersweet, really. It won't go away but at least we've found some middle ground.
Dr. Kenton: That's… that's really insightful. Even for you, Natalie. But don't you think you'll ever be rid of it? How do you deal with it?
SCP-4280: You don't. You just learn to live with it. You make sure that your life is under your control and that you look at it as a reminder that you've survived and you've endured the worst of the worst that anyone could experience.
Dr. Kenton: Isn't it difficult to handle all the stress?
SCP-4280: Yeah, but you wake up in the morning and you do it again anyway.
<End Log>
As of today, SCP-4280-B's periods of resurgence have decreased. Dr. Kenton has since changed SCP-4280's schedule of sessions from once a month, to twice a year.
SCP-4280 has still remained a deadpan, but slightly positive attitude.
Update: During an interview, SCP-4280-B manifested in the middle of SCP-4280-A's conversation with Dr. Kenton. MTF Epsilon-2 were immediately sent to the location to secure Dr. Kenton. During the breach, the tranquilizer rounds for MTF Epsilon-2 proved ineffective against SCP-4280, this caused the emergency light fixtures in SCP-4280's cell to activate and focus on SCP-4820-B.
SCP-4280-B emitted a high-pitched shrieking before appearing to physically tear itself away from SCP-4820-A's shadow and "faded away" from view. Following this, SCP-4820-A screamed and collapsed onto the floor, unconscious.
The current whereabouts of SCP-4820-B are unknown.
DATE: 18/09/2018
SUBJECT: Re: SCP-4820
FROM: <danielledumane@███████>
TO: <gregorykenton@███████>
Before we get started on this, I just wanted to let you know how well the kid's doing. She's fine, by the way. Hell, she's better than fine. It's almost like she was never anomalous in the first place.
Item #: SCP-599
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures:
Description: SCP-599-J-A is a thaumaturgic ritual to summon a disembodied sleeved arm holding an EKOL Firat Magnum (hereafter referred to as SCP-599-J-B). While much of the information needed to summon SCP-599-J-B is scarce, some elements required included one EKOL Firat Magnum and a live human male.
Picasso, Renoir, Michelangelo, Kandinsky, Dali… Hell, even Bob Ross for crying out loud.
Item #: SCP-024-J
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-024-J's anomalous ability does not sanction the need for containment as it does not pose a significant threat to normalcy. However, SCP-024-J as an anomaly, must be kept in a standard furnished low-level containment cell. Upon permission, Agent Rayland is personally overseeing SCP-024-J's development and will continue to monitor her for the foreseeable future.
Description: SCP-024-J refers to Julie Rayland; the daughter of Internal Security Officer and Containment Specialist, Joshua Rayland.
SCP-024-J's anomalous properties manifest when human beings speak in profane, socially offensive or vulgar language in the audible range of SCP-024-J.
While individuals are capable of thinking of the particular curse word that they would like to use, SCP-024-J alters the Broca area in the cerebrum of these individuals to instead speak non-offensive words that are often alliterative to the original profane word that they planned to use. These individuals have no control over their ability to swear in SCP-024-J's range of hearing.
SCP-024-J's anomaly also affects written and recorded profane language; this change to non-offensive language is instantaneous.
Other than those anomalous properties, SCP-024-J is a physically normal 5 year-old child.
Addendum 024-J: Audio Transcript from May 18th, 2020
The following transcript contains further information regarding SCP-024-J's abilities as it appears to extend further into recorded usage of profane words. The following log is SCP-024-J's effect on a recording of Agents Drumm hitting Agent Ellis in the face after the latter spilled hot coffee on Agent Drumm's lower torso and legs in the Site-11 break room.
Subject: SCP-024-J
Interviewer: Dr. Kane
[BEGIN LOG]
Dr. Kane and SCP-024-J enter the chamber before Dr. Kane requests her to sit at the table with a computer.
Dr. Kane: Alright, so what we're gonna do today is watch a video about some of your dad's friends from work having a uh… debate. If you could tell me any questions you have, anything at all about what uh… happens in the video, you let me know, alright?
SCP-024-J: Okay
Dr. Bright turns on the monitor and plays the video. The video depicts Agent Drumm getting coffee in the break room. Agent Ellis walks past him but not before Agent Drumm bumps into him as he turns around; spilling his coffee over his groin area.
Agent Ellis: Son of a bridge!
Agent Ellis retaliates by punching Agent Drumm with a left hook to the nose. Agent Drumm then tackles Agent Ellis to the ground.
Agent Drumm: Go to heck, Ellis. Does me spilling ship flooping accidentally warrant a flinging punch to the face!?
Agent Ellis: Are you flipping kidding me? This is the third time you spilled your dang coffee over me! What the flap is your freaky problem?
Agent Drumm: I said it was an accident, now get the flung out of my face! Flinging grunt.
Both agents are pulled away from each other by various staff members.
Agent Ellis: Seriously!? Just look at me! You son of a bird, you spilled it all over my Rick!
Agent Drumm: Oh, shut up. You can get those pants cleaned. It's not like having your slick covered in coffee is going to stop you from taking a wee or having sex.
The video ends as Dr. Kane turns off the screen.
SCP-024-J: Uncle Kane ?
Dr. Kane: Yes, dear?
SCP-024-J: What's sex?
Dr. Kane pauses.
Dr. Kane: I- uh- well uh, when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much, they-
[END LOG]
Source: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:11012013_-_Williamsburg_KY_37_(10673777453).jpg
Item #: SCP-906-J
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-906-J must be destroyed at all costs. Agent Baxter is completely forbidden from participating in the culinary arts or making food in general.
Description: SCP-906-J is the designation given to food made by Senior Agent Chuck Baxter. SCP-906-J is unusually grotesque in appearance and produces a foul-smelling odor. Individuals are incapable of consuming or tasting SCP-906-J without fainting, retching, vomiting, or experiencing mental breakdowns when being forced to eat.
or Gears' famous glass of room temperature water