Malignantly

The Ballad of the Cosmonaut

(To the tune of “The Bonnie Ship the Diamond”)

Up high above the clouds, my lads
Outside the earths protective womb
A man thrashes in an iron suit
Now his living tomb
Once was captain of his sky ship
In such a distant land
Where his crew had woke a living thought
And now his world is not

Way up in the sky my lads
A man will spend all time
his mind seals up an evil beast,
The Lost cosmonaut cannot die

A ship designed from angel parts,
by bold men twas crewed,
voyaged to the smallest jovian moon
where a spire had been shewed
“Lads, we will protect the motherland
and that spire won't hurt a one of us
whal your with my command"

Way up in the sky my lads
A man will spend all time
his mind seals up an evil beast
The Lost cosmonaut cannot die

On the Menhirs sides were accursed symbols
Several of the men went mad
And when they broke inside of the spire
An ancient beast was unclad
in seconds the mens had screams died
Billions of mind were flayed alive
then our world was gorged by a void
Twhicth the ship began to dive

Way up in the sky my lads
A man will spend all time
his mind seals up an evil beast
The Lost cosmonaut cannot die

But angels skin kept them whole
One by one crew felled themselves
And the captains mind 'gan to fall
would use him asa vessel
but when it tried blank his mind, it stayed
For a lixer kept him their
And as the ship began to came apart
He donned an iron suit
Jumped in the angels heart
Last shelter of gods light
Its Unseen rays did bath his suit
And Calloused both of them inside

Way up in the sky my lads
A man will spend all time
his mind seals up an evil beast
The Lost cosmonaut cannot die

Send the Ds

(Based on Send the Marines)
When something starts to move
In a way which we find unush
Who is it we use for studyings?
F.A.s ,and MTFs
They have their place,I guess,
But first send in the Ds!

We’ll send them one by one
It’ll be so much fun!
Just as long as we filter out the screams
Lets see that test result
To make sure the things occult
What do we do? We send in the Ds!

For ends absolve the means,
Least that’s the way it seems,
They've got to be collected,
And promptly be infected,
Then afterward they'll promptly be dissected.

All of those 04s
This torture they abhor
They'd rather kill them off by peaceful means.
You might say that is spurious,
But we really are quiet curious.
We only want our staff to see
That we support the normality.
Thats the core of our morality!
So when in doubt,
Send in the Ds!

We Will All go Together When we [REDACTED]

(Based on We Will All Go Together When We Go)

When you attend a funeral,
You might feel some sooner
Or later how those you love will do the same for you.
And you may have thought it tragic,
Not to mention quite [redac-
ted], to think of all the weeping they will do.
But don't you worry.
No ashes, no cover story
And bad attempts at being oratory
Will soon no longer have to be conceived
For if the keter that devours you
Gets your friends and colleagues too,
There'll be nobody left behind to grieve.

And we will all go together when we go.
What a comforting fact that is to know.
Universal termination,
Now thats quite the inspiration
Yes, we all will go together when we go.

We will all go together when we go.
And hopefully it shouldn’t be to slow
No one will have the endurance
To collect on his insurance,
MCD securities will be loaded when they go.

Oh we will all collate together when we collate.
We'll be a bowl of quantum soup now, just you wait.
There will be no more moanin
When the world is turned to bosons,
Yes, we will all collate together when we collate

Down at the old Ryugyong,
There'll be a storm before the calm.

And we will all squish together when we squash.
There'll be nobody present left to watch.
With complete participation
In that grand suffocation ,
Nearly 100 trillion tons of tasty cakes

Oh we will all char together when we char.
And let there be no moaning of the bar.
So when containment fails for O-1
And the X. K. has be-gun
,Well, the party will be excluding no-one

Oh we will all burn together when we burn.
There'll be no need to stand and wait your turn.
When it's time for pizzicato
And the councils chugging amontillado
We'll just drop our agendas and adjourn.

You will all go directly to your respective valhallas.
Go directly, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred
dolla's.

And we will all go together when we go.
Ev'ry Bluehat and ev'ry S&K-Bio.
When the Hume counts go insaneous,
And containments fail simultaneous.
Yes we all will go together
When we all go together,
Yes we all will go together when we go.

What do we do with a rogue type green?

Now what do we do with a rogue type green?
Now what do we do with a rogue type green?
Now what do we do with a rogue type green?
Bring Hume counts to normal!

Way hay clef can tell us
Way hay clef can tell us
Way hay clef can tell us
Bring Hume counts to normal!

Blow out their brains with fifty caliber
Blow out their brains with fifty caliber
Blow out their brains with fifty caliber
Bring Hume counts to normal!

Way hay clef can tell us
Way hay clef can tell us
Way hay clef can tell us
Bring Hume counts to normal!

Mine a spot that you know they’ll go to
Mine a spot that you know they’ll go to
Mine a spot that you know they’ll go to
Bring Hume counts to normal!

Way hay clef can tell us
Way hay clef can tell us
Way hay clef can tell us
Bring Hume counts to normal!

Blow the Skip Down

(To the tune of Blow the man down)
I'll sing you a song one of an SCP
Way - hey, blow the skip down.
I trust that you'll join in the chorus with me;
Give me some time to blow the skip down.

Blow the skip down, jailors, blow the skip down;
Blow the skip down, jailors, deep undergroun.

Blow the skip down, don’t act like a clown,
Blow the skip down by gun or countdown

While I was a walking around site-17
A big ugly keter a let out a screech.

It was 20 feet long and through steel walls It did plow,
and all of the D-class? Well he made them his chow.

I hailed 05s in English, they answered me clear,
“Contain the breach at all cost, that can you hear?”

So I tailed to the arse’nal; and took up a T.O.W.
And put in a warhead, was ready to go.

But since I might fail, get squished like a toad
I entered my password and rigged the base to explode;

And as soon I knew i'd change the landscape
I ran out of the room and towards escape.

But as I was running and turned around a ‘corn
A keter sat watchin me with a look of deep scorn.

It started to charge me and of my gun I did draw
And fired a rocket that went straight down the hall.

I Watched chunks of its flesh fall right onto the floor
and I picked up my ass to head out the door.

Then I remembered we have lots industrial glue
Nearby the dril made from an old M42.

Might not make it from this site still alive
But since I'm here I'll try to survive

Blow the skip down, jailors, blow the skip down;
Blow the skip down, jailors, deep undergroun

Blow the skip down, don’t act like a clown,
Blow the skip down by gun or coundown.

Though vision was blurry still I could see,
The lock to the blast door of section O3.

I sealed the vault tightly then I started to shudder
For I knew that this skip soon would recover.

And in room with the glue I laid down bombs
Then I quickly recited the words of some Psalms.

LORD is my shield; says verse twenty eight seven
But if that fails maybe I'll get into heaven!

Then I heard a noise which gave me quite a fright
The skip broke through the wall ready to bite.

I sprayed it with glue tanks so that it soon would be stuck
And when twas plowed with the drill it shouted "oh fuck”.

But when I blew up the ceiling to keep it in place
I remembered that soon I might be nuclear waste!

I ran and shut down the nuke just as it reached nine
Sent a message “don’t worry, We're fine”.

But when nine tails came to give us support
They cuffed up my hands and hauled me to court!

"'stead of gaurding the keter that day…
we saw you were testing four twenty jay!”

Blow the skip down, jailors, blow the skip down;
Blow the skip down, jailors, deep undergroun.

Blow the skip down, don’t act like a clown,
Blow the skip down by gun or countdown.

Legend:

Occupation: FA=Field Agent, MTFO=Mobile Task Force Operative, R=Researcher, CS=Containment Specialist, SO=Security Officer.

Equipment Or Vehicles: N=No gear SFG=Standard Field Gear, EX=Exoskeleton, H=Helicopter, S=Submarine, C=Boat or Ship P=Plane, F=Incendiary Weapons R=Redacted.

Status: K=Killed in Action (KIA),WID=Died of Wounds Received in Action (DWRIA) WIA=Wounded In Action IG=Missing in Action (MIA) MCL=Missing Considered Lost, M=Missing, N=Indefinite Incapacitation, B=Beleaguered or Besieged, C=Captured, RE=Redesigned as Anomalous O= Other.

Cause codes: B=Ballistic* attack C=Compulsive self-injury SAMC= Spontaneous and Anomalous Modifications to Characteristics M=Cognitohazard D=Dimensional shifting K=Perforation or Laceration BF=Blunt force trauma I=Infectious agent C=Chemical S=Suffocation B=Burns O=Other UNK=Unknown

Report_Designation	Date	Designation	Incident	Occupation	Rank	Organization	Team_Size	Equipment or Vehicles	Status	Cause	Remarks
2397962		[REDACTED]	Incident 012-01	FA	L2	Site 19-Special Salvage	██	SFG	KIA	C
6785480		[REDACTED]	Incident 012-01	FA	L2	Site 19-Special Salvage	██	SFG	KIA	C
2971627		Malek	Incident 026-12	FA	L2	Site-██ Field Observations	0	N	DWRIA	SAMC	Relocated to Area-██-026 by unknown means
4205333		███████	Recovery Log-034	R	L3B	Site-██ Research department	N/A	N	WIA	K	Further details found in Post Interrogation Report 2211
3193962	199█	[REDACTED]	Recovery Log-045	██	L2	[REDACTED]	██	S	KIA	S	Died in Mass Casualty Event
8709569	199█	[REDACTED]	Recovery Log-045	██	L2	[REDACTED]	██	S	KIA	S	Died in Mass Casualty Event
5243183	199█	[REDACTED]	Recovery Log-045	██	L2	[REDACTED]	██	S	KIA	S	Died in Mass Casualty Event
7339326	199█	[REDACTED]	Recovery Log-045	██	L2	[REDACTED]	██	S	KIA	S	Died in Mass Casualty Event
0689942	199█	[REDACTED]	Recovery Log-045	██	L2	[REDACTED]	██	S	KIA	S	Died in Mass Casualty Event
2254249	199█	[REDACTED]	Recovery Log-045	██	L2	[REDACTED]	██	S	KIA	S	Died in Mass Casualty Event
5679380	199█	[REDACTED]	Recovery Log-045	██	L2	[REDACTED]	██	S	KIA	S	Died in Mass Casualty Event
8793393	199█	[REDACTED]	Recovery Log-045	██	L2	[REDACTED]	██	S	KIA	S	Died in Mass Casualty Event
3212401	199█	[REDACTED]	Recovery Log-045	██	L2	[REDACTED]	██	S	KIA	S	Died in Mass Casualty Event
1390766	199█	[REDACTED]	Recovery Log-045	██	L2	[REDACTED]	██	S	KIA	S	Died in Mass Casualty Event
9964163	199█	[REDACTED]	Recovery Log-045	██	L2	[REDACTED]	██	S	KIA	S	Died in Mass Casualty Event
7154168	199█	[REDACTED]	Recovery Log-045	██	L2	[REDACTED]	██	S	KIA	S	Died in Mass Casualty Event
8221135	5/31/2009	████	Test 052-1	L2	Mobile Task Force Gamma-6	0	SFG	M	D
3457221	6/6/2009	████████	Test 052-2	L2	FA	Mobile Task Force Gamma-6	0	AFG	KIA	[REDACTED]	Died in 1980
0335094	6/13/2009	███████	Test 052-3	L2	FA	Mobile Task Force Gamma-6	UNK	AFG	WIA	UNK
0385233	UNK	████	Incident 052-43	L2	FA	Mobile Task Force Gamma-6	UNK	R	KIA	UNK	[DATA EXPUNGED]
3393287	XX/12/2124	█████ ████████	Incident 052-92	E	UNK	UNK	R	RE	D	Status as Foundation Personal based on corroborating testimony
3202041	UNK	████	Incident 052-43	L2	UNK	Mobile Task Force Gamma-6	UNK	R	KIA	UNK	[DATA EXPUNGED]