Mathijsvand

Item #: SCP-5267

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures:
SCP-5267 is to be contained in a 50 by 50 metre chamber with access to unobstructed sunlight. The chamber needs to contain an adult specimen of [REDACTED]. A hammock needs to be hung from the lowest branches of the specimen. To ensure SCP-5267’s cooperation, the specimen of [REDACTED] needs to be kept alive at all times, no matter the cost. If SCP-5267 has to be removed from his containment cell, he is to be moved in a soundproof vehicle and the drivers are to wear headphones playing death metal at maximum volume at all times. To protect their ears, the drivers are to stop the vehicle at least 1 km from the nearest rest stop each forty-five (45) and take a fifteen (15) minute break at least 100 metres from the vehicle.

Description:
SCP-5267 appears to be a Caucasian male in his late seventies or eighties. Its exact age is unknown, but estimated to be in the thousands of years (carbon dating samples of SCP-5267 has proven ineffective for unknown reasons). SCP-5267 is known for constantly humming tunes to himself. These tunes often represent nursery rhymes from different known languages and some tunes are assumed to be nursery rhymes in unknown languages. In the case that any personnel need to enter SCP-5267’s containment area, they are to refrain themselves from humming along. Humming along has the chance of provoking an aggressive reaction from SCP-5267, prompting an event of SCP-5267-7, filling the personnel's lungs with water.
Should SCP-5267 breach containment, he is to be approached by D-class personnel carrying around a casket of [REDACTED] and offered a clay tankard filled with the liquid from the casket.

SCP-5267 is sapient and speaks fluent English. SCP-5267's behaviour is overall well-understood and is cooperative with Foundation personnel and has given several interviews. All of these interviews ended with the scientist on-site returning with an earworm of whatever tune SCP-5267 happened to hum. These earworms have not caused any problems so far, but personnel coming in contact with SCP-5267 are to be observed for three months after contact and are to get psychological checks weekly during the same period.

It is elemental that SCP-5267 not be offered any rope, rope-like substance or substance it could possibly fashion rope from. Should it get access to such materials, he will actively try to hang himself from the [REDACTED] in his enclosure. It is absolutely forbidden to enter the containment area while SCP-5267 is having one such episode. Making an attempt at stopping him, will make him erupt in song, causing an event of SCP-5267-3. SCP-5267 will then proceed to charge its opponent and rip the heart from their chest, before continuing its attempt at hanging himself. When the hanging is completed, SCP-5267 will die. Seven (7) days after the hanging, the material used will be destroyed and SCP-5267 will fall to the floor. Fourteen (14) days after the hanging, SCP-5267 is revived. 24 hours after revival, SCP-5267 will start humming a song. 48 hours after revival, SCP-5267 will add lyrics to the song. 72 hours after revival, the song will offer an anomalous effect.

Thus far, eighteen anomalous songs have been observed, seven of which appear to have been known by SCP-5267 before containment by the Foundation. It is unknown how the entity could only have learned so few songs for having lived so long.

It is unknown exactly which items SCP-5267 can fashion rope from. The following list shows a non-exhaustive list of items previously used by SCP-5267:

  • Hemp
  • Nylon
  • Shoe laces
  • Clothing (except for its own, for some unknown reason, the running theory is that SCP-5267 does not enjoy being naked)
  • [REDACTED] originating from D-class personnel.

Addendum 5267.1: