Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is currently stored at Site 29 for use in the preservation of important testing material. Any requests to store items within SCP-XXXX must be approved by personnel with a clearance of level 3 or higher. Organic material is to be kept in separate boxes, in order to avoid cross-contamination upon reopening SCP-XXXX.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a nondescript refrigerator, measuring 0.8m x 0.7m x 1.7m. SCP-XXXX was originally discovered within a bomb shelter, located at ███████, Ukraine. At the time of discovery, SCP-XXXX was heavily corroded and rusted, whereas the inside appeared completely clean. Contents stored within the artifact before confiscation were as follows: Five (5) MRE rations, two (2) gallons of water, and an unbranded bottle of vodka. The perishable items found were in pristine condition, despite being dated in 19██.
The anomalous effects of SCP-XXXX have been observed through testing. Upon closing its door, SCP-XXXX produces a "timeless environment," completely stopping the passage of time towards all objects placed within it. The effects of SCP-XXXX have been observed to effect age and development, chemical reactions, and recording devices (See Test-XXXX-A through C). These anomalous qualities make it effective for storing materials, inorganic or organic, that are vulnerable to deteriorating chemical processes, such as oxidation.
When left opened, SCP-XXXX exhibits no anomalous properties, having a constant temperature of 1.6° C, and passing time at a normal rate. Disassembly is currently awaiting approval.
Test-XXXX-A:
Subject: One (1) live brown rat, approximately one year old at the time of testing
Procedure: Subject was placed inside SCP-XXXX for one year. Nothing else was stored in the artifact at this time, nor was the door to be opened until the end of the test.
Result: After one year, subject was found within SCP-XXXX with no visible changes. After examination, subject remained physiologically one year old.
Addendum-1: Despite its ability to preserve age, SCP-XXXX will not be used to store living organisms at this time, unless used for testing.
Test-XXXX-B:
Subject: One (1) half-gallon of milk, six (6) eggs, and one (1) unopened pack of ███████ brand Hot-Dogs.
Procedure: All articles are placed inside of SCP-XXXX, with respective expiration dates recorded. Time waited will exceed all expiration dates by at least two weeks.
Result: All foods were in seemingly perfect conditions, later being cooked and served to D-4352. He described the meal, saying it tasted fine but was overall "kind of depressing."
Test-XXXX-C:
Subject: One (1) digital camera, and one (1) live brown rat
Procedure: Camera is to be set on record, and placed within SCP-XXXX, along with the lab rat. Purpose of the test is to view how living organisms react upon being placed in SCP-XXXX's "timeless environment." Ten minutes were waited upon closing the artifact.
Result: Camera footage was viewed by personnel. As soon as the door was closed, it immediately reopened, where both subjects were removed, and the camera was stopped. No freezes in time were observed.
Note from Dr. ████: Despite Test-C being rather anti-climatic, this taught us the nature of SCP-XXXX's anomalous effect. Additionally, we discovered that the light, does in fact, turn off when you close the fridge.
Item #: SCP-445-J
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: Due to the widespread effect of SCP-445-J, the anomaly cannot be contained by known means. In order to maintain the facility, all usage of SCP-445-J shall be restricted. Personnel threatening to use SCP-445-J's harmful effects shall be terminated using the same method. See Addendum-507 for more details.
Description: SCP-445-J refers to a collection of textual cognitohazards. Though their form and meaning vary significantly, all viable subjects have been observed to have similar effects. SCP-445-J can manifest itself into any known language, whether it be oral or written.
When perceived, SCP-445-J will trigger several emotional responses. Subjects will begin reacting with general offense, showing mild signs of anger or annoyance. Subject's anger then grows exponentially over the next several minutes. This response usually results in the assault of nearby objects and humans, especially those who inflicted the subject. Continued exposure to similar forms of SCP-445-J will result in heightened blood pressure and heart rate, aural steaming, cardiac arrest, and spontaneous combustion. Otherwise, the cognitohazardous effects of SCP-445-J will decay within 5-10 minutes.
Certain forms of SCP-445-J may have increased or decreased effect, depending on whoever is subjected to the anomaly. Subject's background can have influence on how SCP-445-J exhibits its effects. This includes, but is not limited to, race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, and physical appearance.
In order to provide a better understanding of SCP-445-J, I did some personal research and made an archive on the common forms of SCP-445-J. I also tested some of the words on facility personnel, in order to determine their nature. —Dr. Carlins
A██ - Anus Rectum.
B████ - Definition unknown, but Dr. Kain seems particularly annoyed.
C███ - Gallus domesticus.
D███ - What you should remember not to be while on-site.
F███ - Universal verb, can be a substitute for any action.
H███ - See SCP-666½-J.
M███████████ - One who fornicates with their own or some else's mother
[DATA EXPUNGED]
S███ - Universal noun, can be a substitute for anything.
T██ - Perhaps some kind of potato chip. Betcha can't have just one.
What the [expletive] Carlins!? You just displayed several deadly cognitohazards on an open document! Do you know the kind of [expletive] that goes down when people are exposed to this? —Dr. Morrison
[Expletive]! Now you did it! —Dr. Carlins
Oh [Expletive]! —Dr. Morrison
Addendum-507: By order of O5-██, all forms of SCP-445-J will be automatically detected by a computational filter, attached to all facility documents. Every potential cognitohazard will be replaced with [EXPLETIVE] or several arbitrary black boxes.
Very funny, O5-██. Cramming a cognitohazard into your designation. Totally professional. —Dr. Carlins
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