MemesRBad4UrHelth: Hell's Taxi! Call Now!

Item#: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX-1 is to be stored within the Site ██ garage, with up to three armed guards posted at all times. All of SCP-XXXX-1's wheels are to be secured with modified tire locks, designed to only open when the key made for the modifications is used. This key, designated XXXX-1-K2 is stored in the ███████ of Site ██, with five guards posted at all times. SCP-XXXX-1's keys, designated SCP-XXXX-1-K1, are to be stored alongside XXXX-1-K2. Under no circumstances are personnel to attempt to drive SCP-XXXX-1 without permission from the Site Director and SCP-XXXX-2 will result in termination (See Addendum XXXX-03 for more details).
Due to SCP-XXXX-2's anomalous properties, it is technically unable to be contained(See Description for more details.). However, due to the containment of SCP-XXXX-1, SCP-XXXX-2 has surrendered itself into Foundation custody (See Interview XXXX-01 for more details.). As such, It is to be contained within a Standard Secure Humanoid Containment Cell.

Description: SCP-XXXX-1 is a standard yellow Ford taxi, with decal advertisements that say, "Hell's Taxi! CALL NOW!". An unknown phone number appears on the decal, but does not seem to follow any regional pattern or code¹. Calling the number has been shown establish a psychic connection between the caller and SCP-XXXX-2 (see below for more details). SCP-XXXX-1 has demonstrated the ability to perform 'shifts', in which in can de-materialize and re-materialize when being piloted by SCP-XXXX-2. When performing these shifts, SCP-XXXX-1, as well as anyone and anything within SCP-XXXX-1, will enter a pocket dimension. Experimentation has shown that time within this pocket dimension moves at an altered rate compared to time on Earth, as well as having connections to other dimensions, dubbed by SCP-XXXX-2 as 'gates'(See Expedition XXXX-01 for more details).
SCP-XXXX-2 is a sentient humanoid skeleton assumed to be male². SCP-XXXX-2 has the word "TRAITOR" branded into the forehead, as well as small cracks running across SCP-XXXX-2's skull, originating from the branded words (See Interview XXXX-02-01 for more details.), and is dressed in a ragged tuxedo and dress pants, with a pair of burned shoes worn on its feet. SCP-XXXX-2 is capable of establishing a psychic link between any caller who calls the number printed on SCP-XXXX-1 or any of SCP-XXXX-2's advertisements (See Interview XXXX-01 for more details). When this number is called, a psychic link is formed between the caller and SCP-XXXX-2, which does not require the phone to hear, as individuals who have used the number claim to have heard SCP-XXXX-2's voice within their head. The link is severed when either the caller or SCP-XXXX-2 hangs up. During the link, SCP-XXXX-2 will ask the caller if they would like to schedule a ride. This discussion typically follows the order of determining the caller's pick-up location, their desired destination, and the cost. (FINISH)

Document #XXXX-02-01:

Addendum XXXX-01: Discovery.

Interview XXXX-01
Interviewed: SCP-XXXX-2

Interviewer: Dr. ████████

Foreword: This interview took place ██ hours after SCP-XXXX-1 and XXXX-2 were recovered.

<Begin Log, [optional time info]>

Interviewer: [speech]

Person: [speech]

<End Log, [optional time info]>

Closing Statement:

Addendum XXXX-02: "Ferry Boy" Proposal.

Addendum XXXX-03: Incident Log 01

Footnotes

1. [The number used to contact SCP-XXXX-2 has been redacted to prevent unauthorized contact. -Dr.██████]

2. [While SCP-XXXX-2 has a male voice, it has a rather annoying habit of changing it's tone and accent for, and I quote, 'comedic value'. So until SCP-XXXX-2 confirms this, it's sex is assumed as male. For those asking whether or not we've examined it's bones for evidence, the results have shown to be inconclusive. -Dr.██████]