Memeticist Bobcat


Item#: SCP-███-J

Object Class: █████

Special Containment Procedures: MTF-█████████-256 and Researcher "Doc" Daneeka are to ████████████████████████████████████████. ████████████████,██████████ ███████████████████████████████ [EXPUNGED] ██████████ but should that happen, it is to be considered a ZK-end of the world-class event. In addendum, ████████████ [EXPUNGED] [EXPUNGED] [EXPUNGED] █████████████████████████████████████ and the military police are to ████ ███████████████████████████ █████████████████████. ███████,███████████████ ██████████████████████████████ under any circumstances. For example, have you ever heard the story about the two beautiful blondes who were on their first visit to a nudist camp when one of them suddenly noticed that ████████████████████████ ██████████████ ████████████████████████ ████████████ █████████████████
███████████████████████████"Well, I didn't know that he played the violin."1

Failure to follow these procedures will result in ████████.

Description: [EXPUNGED] and [REDACTED FOR POTENTIAL COGNITO-HAZARD] and are theorized to ███████████ █████████████████████████████████ █████████████████ ████████

███████████████████████████████████████████ █████████████████████
█████████████████████████ █████████████ ██████████████ ████████████
████████████████████████████████████ ██████████████████████████████

██████████████████████████████████████████████ ███████████████████

Testing logs:
███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ ████████████████████


I yearn for you dearly, my love.
~A.T. Tappman, Site [Redacted] Chaplain


[Addendum I] Redaction and Censorship were preformed by Agent John Yossarian Washington Irving

[Addendum II] "Agent Washington Irving" is to be considered an insurgency spy. Any and all information pertaining to his whereabouts will result in a swift promotion and many rewards, including but not limited to:
A date with Katy Perry
A date with Tom Hanks
A date with [REDACTED]
A swift execution of one of your enemies, without trial, by mandate of the O5-council.
Untold riches and wealth from SCP-███ [Note: look, we didn't realize that ███ was Keter and extremely hostile, okay?]
An upgrade from D-class to E-class2
An upgrade from your current security clearance to the next on the hierarchy.3
Three D-Class whom have been excused from termination, and will be your servants until you die, when they will fight to the death in ritual combat
Immediate dictatorial rule of O5-council [Overruled by O5-11]

Please take any and all relevant information to the site-101 Criminal Investigation Department [CID]

Oh, man, Head Researcher Researcher is gonna get it now, that BASTARD! ~Agent Yossarian

Note from O5-2: Agent Yossarian is exempt from the reward of execution of enemies, and Head Researcher Researcher "Caleb" Researcher is exempt from execution. This will continue until further notice.

Goddammit. ~Agent Yossarian

[Addendum III]

[Addendum IV] Interview transcribed by Agent Joseph Heller.

Anomalous phrase


The following file contains a virulent infohazard. Due to this, it is imperative that all personnel accessing this file be certified as having a Cognitive Resistance Value (CRV) of no less than 30.80. Should you fail an automated CRV verification, please remain calm and do not move. An MTF will be with you shortly. Have any unaffected staff leave the room so as not to be caught in the memetic shrapneling. Please do not resist the MTF's operations. Please do not call out, as that can spread the memetic effects.


Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: Unfortunately, there is no way to contain SCP-1988-J as of yet4 , but MTF-Psi-101 has been formed to combat it's spread via amnestics and deletion of relevant internet threads.

Description: SCP-1988-J is a phrase that has gained memetic properties. It can effect certain documentation, such as writing5 adversely. It is theorized that if it's spread is not stopped, then there is a possibility of full memetic containment breach, ending in an XK-class end of/restructuring of/chaotic reality incident, or a XYZ-class end of civilization scenario. This is to be prevented at all costs, and any foundation employees found abusing SCP-1988-J are to be considered Chaos-Insurgency operatives, and are to be summarily shot on the spot. MTF-Psi-101 will arrive to subdue any large-scale breaches and [REDACTED] [REDACTED] but, if that happens, then [O5-LEVEL SECURITY CLEARANCE REQUIRED] and the remains are to be blessed by a priest of Abrahamic faith. In addition, O5-LEVEL CLEARANCE IS NEEDED TO TEST ON SCP-1988-J. BREACH OF THIS RULE WILL RESULT IN COURT-MARTIAL, AND EVENTUAL EXECUTION OR DEMOTION TO D-CLASS. This is imperative to everybody's safety.

Should a containment breach be detected, all staff are to either avert their eyes to prevent the memetic effect, or, if affected, cooperate with the effects until MTF-101 arrives. Contrary to popular belief, a meme that has breached the internet is not unable to be contained, persay, but small examples or samples of it can be contained within a containment cell, and the standard memetic containment cell for examples of SCP-1988-J is [REDACTED] wide by [REDACTED] tall by 40' deep, creating a perfect [REDACTED], which helps slightly, but is undermined, as when anybody preforms a procedure 22-Kappa-12, it causes SCP-1988-J to breach and summarily cause any and all staff within a ██ foot radius to be forced to [REDACTED FOR COGNITOHAZARD], which is thought to be part of a summoning ritual, but as of breach number ██, by far the worst and slowest contained breach, no evidence has been found to support that. It is also theorized that if enough people are affected by a breach, then [DATA EXPUNGED] with up to 90k people dead or injured past 9.2 on the Garamond-Sikorsky SCP-Injury scale. IF [DATA EXPUNGED] AND SHOULD PROCEDURE 88-KAPPA-UPSILON BE PREFORMED, THEN THE ONSITE NUKE WILL BE DETONATED, KILLING MOST ON-SITE, AND MTF-E-11 [Nine Tailed Fox] WILL BE DEPLOYED TO KILL ANY AND ALL SURVIVORS, REGARDLESS OF RANK, UP TO AND INCLUDING MEMBERS OF THE O5-COUNCIL.

Testing logs:
Note: Due to a formatting error, the logs appear green and have arrows in front of them. Engineering is working on it. ~Head computer engineer Draco

1988-J: Test one ##
Subject[s]: D-1988/1 ##
Researcher[s]: Memeticist Ben Lyleton, Researcher Carly ##
Others present: Agent Cassidy, Guard A-98 ##
Start log: Time: 10:55 Hours##
>D-1988/1 is prompted to enter containment cell by Memeticist Ben Lyleton
>D-1988/1 is resistant, saying "Oh, hell no. I quite like living, and I'm sure there's some kind of monster in there."
>Researcher Carly reassures D-1988/1 that there is no monster in there, and that it's safe.
>D-1988/1 continues to resist, explaining that she believes that the foundation is a bunch of lying scumbags and, besides, she's going to be terminated at the end of the month anyways.
>Agent Cassidy reaffirms the prompt to enter the containment cell.
>D-1988/1 continues her refusal.
>Guard A-98 points his M-14 assault rifle at D-1988/1 and attempts to convince D-1988/1 to enter the containment cell under the threat of having her brains blown out. D-1988/1 complies.
>D-1988/1 is visibly nervous
>D-1988/1 reaches for the door handle, shaking.
>D-1988/1 opens the door
>Get on the floor
>Everybody walk the dinosaur
End log7

Bob Breaches Containment

"Sit, Lyleton."

Memeticist Ben Lyleton sat down at O5-7's desk. "You understand why I called you here, yes?"

Lyleton nodded. "Yes, and I would like to say that what happens in SCP-███'s cage stays in SCP-███'s cage."

O5-7 blinked. "I didn't call you about that, and I'll have that investigated later. No, I called you here about the meme you let breach the SCiPnet."

"Oh, you mean Bob?"

"Christ, yes, that one."

Lyleton leaned back in his chair. "What's wrong with it?"

O5-7 turned a desk monitor to face him. "Look."

/ \
This is Bob. Help Bob take over the SCiPnet Forums.
~Memeticist Ben Lyleton

☻/ Yes, comrades, we shall rule the whole of SCiPnet!
/▌ Long live the new revolution!
/ \
~Agent Heinrich Cassidy

☻/ Comrades, not only do I bring Bob, but a new Comrade to the army;
/ \
░░░░░░███████ ]▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
~Captain Strelnikov

This land is good and Fertile.
We shall rule over this land, and we shall call it…
This land.
~Researcher John Morton

▌ |
▌ ☻
▌ /▌\
▌ / \

Bob has been court-martialed and hung for being a Chaos Insurgent.
~Agent Heinrich Cassidy

Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!
~Researcher John Morton

/ \
NO! Bob lives again!
~Agent Catalina Karina

Really, guys? Really? This is a Keter-Class SCP that breaks loose every other Friday, and you want to make jokes? The discussion section is for researchers sharing their findings, not assholes cracking wise. Grow the fuck up.
~Doctor August Carson

Dispatch MTF-Bob-1 to Doctor Carson's house!
☻/ ☻/ ☻/ ☻/ ☻/ ☻/ ☻/ ☻/ ☻/ ☻/
/▌ /▌ /▌ /▌ /▌ /▌ /▌ /▌ /▌ /▌
/ \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \
~Agent Hamilton Salazar

Roger, do you need chopper support?
    ╭╬╮         ◢
  ╙O ╙O
~Captain Nicholas Bern

MTF-Bob-1, armored section, is in position!
░░░░░░███████ ]▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
░░░░░░███████ ]▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
░░░░░░███████ ]▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
~Head Engineer Daniels Blue

I hate all of you.
~Doctor August Carson

"This is bad enough as is." Said O5-7. "So, let me ask, why did you clear a years-old meme for safe use, when you knew that this would happen?"

Lyleton stared in awe at the comments thread. "This… This is beautiful. I never imagined that my baby would go so far…" Lyleton began to cry a single tear as he hummed "The Star Spangled Banner".


"God… Bless… America… Land… That I Love… Stand Beside Her… And Guide Her…"




Lyleton jumped back into his seat. "Right sorry."


"Ah, yes, right, Bob." Lyleton sat up and folded his hands, professionally. "I did it, because, you see, sometimes, well, how can I put it?"


"Well, you see, somebody once told me, that the world, was gonna roll me. Now, I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. But she was looking kinda dumb with her finger and her thumb-"

O5-7 took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes. "Two months in the stockade, and a court-martial. Now, get out."

As Lyleton strolled out, very pleased with himself, O5-7 wondered what she had done to deserve this. Suddenly, the printer in her office lit up. A fax.


"Oh, what now?"

The fax was horrific:

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░─╤▌██ |
Notice: This fax sent to everyone in site 15. Please print out copies of the copypasta and fax them to everybody. We may have been driven off the web, but WE WILL NEVER SURRENDER! WE WILL FIGHT ON THE BEACHES! WE WILL FIGHT IN THE HEDGEROWS! WE WILL FIGHT IN THE HALLWAYS OF EVERY FOUNDATION OFFICE! LONG LIVE BOB'S ARMY!

O5-7 looked outside her office. Flyers of Bob and his army were taped everywhere, and a paper airplane hit her in the head. When she unfolded it, it said:

\ ╲
┌╮ \ ╲
╰──── / ╱▒▒——╯
/ ╱
/ ╱

O5-7 went back into her office, and took out a sidearm. She put it to her head. Then, she stopped.

"The only way to stop a meme…" She contemplated for a second. "…Is to MAKE ANOTHER!"

This is the Researcher SCiP.
/ \
Bob has taken over SCiPnet. Help Researcher SCiP take it back.
By mandate of the O5-Council.