MiFF

Item #: SCP-5353

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5353-1, SCP-5353-2, SCP-5353-3, and SCP-5353-4 are contained in a 20m x 10m x 20m containment room located in Sector 17 at Containment Site Epsilon-B. All four instances of SCP-5353 are to be contained in a standard humanoid room with the same living accommodations as a human being would need including sustenance at least three times a day, furniture, and proper bedding. Absolutely no windows, tools, machinery, or materials that inspire any type of ingenuity or innovation should be present in SCP-5353’s containment cell. Under no circumstances should any personnel present SCP-5353 with alcoholic beverages. Any and all requests of alcohol must be immediately denied. 10 liters of green tea must always be present in SCP-5353’s containment cell. The SCP-5353 Investigation Operation Force was assigned to contain the anomalies and is led by Dr. Howard and her team of associates.

SCP-5353 must be constantly motivated to ingest green tea as the sedative influences the anomalies to cooperate. When transported, SCP-5353 must be sedated with 2L of green tea each, via injection into the median cubital vein. All anomalies’ hands must be locked within handcuffs and finger restraints must be administered; each anomaly must be leashed and harnessed by at least two armed guards per anomaly at all times. Specific restraints for SCP-5353-2 and SCP-5353-4 are put in place in order to restrict their speech. Both SCP-5353-2 and SCP-5353-4 must wear iron muzzles when being transported and under absolutely no circumstances should they be removed. Sober outbursts from SCP-5353 must be met with hard and immediate force followed by a sedation of at least 1L of green tea via injection.

In the event of SCP-5353 finding and consuming alcohol, armed personnel must swiftly detain anomalies affected. SCP-5353 must be restrained in a Class IV Harnessing Vest for at least 4 hours after alcohol consumption. When SCP-5353 is provoked or drunk, armed personnel are trained to prevent SCP-5353 from inventing or creating any materials by any means necessary. Personnel must wear earplugs when handling SCP-5353 under the influence of alcohol to avoid an instantaneous death (Document 5353-A discusses the effects of alcohol on SCP-5353).

Description: SCP-5353 refers to a group of four small humanoid men, who fit the description of dwarves and wish to be referred to as such, respectively referred to as SCP-5353-1 (nicknamed Zero), SCP-5353-2 (nicknamed Vogue), SCP-5353-3 (nicknamed Grunge), and SCP-5353-4 (nicknamed Sharp). Although looking similar, all anomalies possess distinct personalities, sobriquets, and characteristics. All four anomalies claim to originate from the Messier 83 galaxy located 15 million light years away from Earth. Each anomaly holds a different accent reminiscent of accents found on Earth but speak completely fluent english; it is currently unknown why. All instances of SCP-5353 are uncooperative when sober and tend to attack personnel when they are denied alcohol. Any type of tranquilizers are found to be ineffective in sedating SCP-5353 and the only successful sedative currently found is green tea; further testing is required. When green tea is provided to SCP-5353, they become calm and willing to cooperate. When under the influence of green tea, SCP-5353-4 discussed the origins of each anomaly (found in Addendum 5353-D). All instances of SCP-5353 are extremely intelligent; however, their intelligence only manifests when under the influence of alcohol. The anomalies claim to be immortal and any type of violence inflicted upon them is unable to kill them. Psychologists suggest that the anomalies suffer from multiple personality disorder due to their extreme change in state of mind when under the influence of different substances; however, diagnostic testing has proved this theory to be false.

SCP 5353-1
SCP-5353-1, nicknamed Zero, is 1.42m in length and has dark, greasy hair. It has an accent reminiscent of an Italian. Their favorite beverages are wines, limoncello, and sambuca. Zero commonly wears darker yellow colors and extremely common attire described as mundane. When under the sedation of green tea, SCP-5353-1 becomes extremely timid and the most cooperative of the group. Psychologists report Zero to have “the utmost respect for all personnel” when sedated and is “a pleasure to work with”. SCP-5353-1 talks in extremely succinct and respectful sentences when questioned by personnel. Contrarily, when completely sober, SCP-5353-1 is the most irritable and indignant of the group of anomalies. Personnel have reported SCP-5353-1 breaking many objects and resisting harnessing and restriction. Although extremely hostile when sober, there has been no instance of SCP-5353-1 engaging in hostility with the three other anomalies. In interviews, Dr. Howard, head of the SCP-5353 Investigation Operation, stated that Zero is the “precedent to all other 5353 anomalies”.

SCP-5353-2
SCP-5353-2, nicknamed Vogue, is 1.45m in length and has no hair atop its head, however it brandishes a flowing red-haired beard. It has an accent reminiscent of an Irishman. Their favorite beverages are beer and other types of spirits and brew. Vogue dresses in extremely common and fashionable red attire of the outside world; overtime, its fashion sense changes with the times and it is currently unknown how or where SCP-5353-2 is coming in contact with the outside world. When sedated, Vogue acts in a comedic way and often makes overly-sexualized and demeaning jokes about many personnel leading to uncomfortable confrontations. When sober, SCP-5353-2 becomes extremely self-conscious and reacts to any comment on its appearance, emotional state, or conversational skills in an extremely violent and irrational way. Vogue’s jokes turn into constant pestering and bullying when sober. Many argue with Vogue while sober, only angering it more due to its fragile self-esteem. Psychologists suggest that SCP-5353-2 suffers from abandonment issues but nothing has been confirmed due to Vogue refusing to unearth, even when sedated. In interviews, Dr. Howard states that Vogue is “an extremely troubled anomaly with dangerous intentions”.

SCP-5353-3
SCP-5353-3, nicknamed Grunge, is 1.44m in length and has a brown, buzzcutted set of hair. It has an accent reminiscent of a Russain. Their favorite beverages are any kind of hard liquor including rum, vodka, and gin. SCP-5353-3 is extremely rough around the edges and wears many dirty, green, and casual clothes. When sedated, Grunge holds an extremely stern and stoic personality and acts as taciturn as possible. Many of his responses are one-worded but SCP-5353-3 will elaborate if asked. Grunge is cooperative when sedated but many personnel find it hard to extract information from it through conversation. Psychologists suggest that Grunge suffered abuse as a child but further information is currently unknown. When sober, Grunge exhibits the same terse characteristics as he would when sedated. However, when provoked, SCP-5353-3 immediately resorts to violence and attempts to fight whomever provoked it, whether it be personnel or other instances of SCP-5353. Grunge and Vogue are known to get into many confrontations and on one instance, armed personnel were required to terminate the conflict (found in Incident 5353-Alpha). In interviews, Dr. Howard states that Grunge is “the most physically dangerous and unpredictable dwarf of the quartet”.

SCP-5353-4
SCP-5353-4, nicknamed Sharp, is 1.42m in length and has a well kept head of blonde hair with a stubble beard. It has an accent reminiscent of a Frenchman. Their favorite beverages are fine champagnes and cognac. Sharp is the most attractive of the dwarves and is regarded as a very fine dresser, usually brandishing formal blue attire. When under the influence of green tea, SCP-5353-4 has what’s been described by researchers as a “smooth, seductive” personality. It will often make flirtatious remarks toward any female staff they talk to, and will give male staff unwanted advice on how to charm women. When sober, Sharp becomes an extremely misogynistic womanizer. Unlike its counterparts, Sharp is in a constant state of anger and irritation while sober, even when unprovoked. Sharp sexually harasses female researchers including Dr. Howard, director of the SCP-5353 Investigation Operation, leading to many disciplinary consequences for SCP-5353-4. Although SCP-5353-4 is in a constant state of vexation when sober, its fury is not discharged physically, but verbally and emotionally. There has been no recorded occurrence of SCP-5353-4 ever physically attacking any personnel member, however, verbal and emotional attacks are constant. In interviews, Dr. Howard simply stated “5353-4 is an extremely repulsive anomaly that I wish to terminate”.

**+ Document SCP-5353-A (Clearance Level 4 Required)**

When under the influence of alcohol, SCP-5353 gains knowledge and wisdom that is incomprehensible to all human understanding. All instances of SCP-5353 are able to build any type of device or object, whether it be a replica of an already existing object or a completely unique object, due to their advanced intellect in minutes.When overhearing SCP-5353 discuss their plans of building, all personnel’s brains will stop working due to sensory overload, leading to their death. However, when SCP-5353 is under the influence of green tea, all information revealed to personnel previously learned through a drunken state will not result in death. When issued an Intelligence Quotient, the highest reported score of SCP-5353-1 was 1823, the highest score ever recorded in human history by a large margin. As a collective group, SCP-5353 invented many of the wonders of the world throughout human history including Colossus of Rhodes, the Library at Alexandria, and the Great Pyramids of Giza. SCP-5353’s advanced intellect must be hidden from the public due to the world ending inventions they are capable of creating. SCP-5353 was responsible for aiding in the Manhattan Project, after which all four anomalies were taken into custody and imprisoned in Cell Block 82. SCP-5353-1 took full responsibility for creating the nuclear weapon in 15 minutes when interviewed after being taken into custody. SCP-5353’s advanced intellect and knowledge of weaponry is more than capable of having cataclysmic effects on the natural world.

Addendum: [Optional additional paragraphs]