Per 
Item #: SCP-4019
Class: Keter Safe
Special Containment Procedures: Cells with doors, windows, or walls with porous material are unsuccessful containment methods as it can seep into the other side. If necessary to contain it, an empty cardboard box is an effective distraction. The cardboard has a comfortably familiar smell. To SCP-4019, as it is.
It is to be given free will to roam all areas of the facility for what has been deemed “curiosity purposes”.¹ It gets bored easily, so it may also freely use a designated smartphone with internet on request. The SCP staff assures the reader that SCP-4019 has no access to information about them and is not editing its description.
Squid meat, especially the tentacle, is not to be provided under any circumstances. Fresh calamari is its favorite thing to eat and can be given as a reward for excellent behavior.
In the event that it appears in a testing area and begins to replicate a prank it saw browsing the Internet, it is to be contained immediately due to lab safety precautions. If it only asks that you look at something it’s showing you; proceed, but with caution.
Description:
SCP-4109 resembles a vague shape of a small mammal with dark green coloration and white spots on its back. It appears to be wearing a mask, but the alleged mask has never been seen slipping off or removed. It may speak, but it speaks quietly and may be difficult to hear.³
Its — peculiar squishy quills— soft, luxurious, beautiful fur, when touched without permission or self activated, melts to a liquidy gel-like substance.² The gel has no harmful or venomous properties, but it does have a strong smell of salt. Whether or not it has actual bones is unknown.
It enjoys humor of terrible quality⁴ and has been tested as a counter to SCP-504.
Log of tests involving SCP-4019
Subject: [REDACTED]
Item Retrieved: [REDACTED]
Item Lost: Timex Alarm Clock
Notes: Test was interrupted by a blob of goop showing me a meme.
Item: One mature SCP-504 tomato
Subject: D-504-10
Spoken: “Why did the snail cross the road? To get to the Shell station.”
Results: Tomato clocked at 157mph. SCP-4019 heard the joke, approached, and started to laugh hysterically.
Items: One cup of SCP-4019 gel, one mature SCP-504 tomato
Subject: An image with a caption is read aloud.
Spoken: “Why is ice water better than regular water? Ice is water, and water is water. So if you put ice in water, that’s double water.”
Results: [DATA EXPUNGED]
No more tests were performed after this incident.
Footnotes
¹ 4109 has not breached containment on a technicality because of this.
² If the gel leaks on the floor, it can be scooped up and reabsorbed into its body.
³ Exception: It may produce sound levels around 80 decibels when distressed or laughing.
⁴ The quality is determined by a subjective viewpoint.
