Per 
This report is written by MD Scout #7114, Codename: Mister Nobody
Location: Greensboro MD
Report: It has already been made clear that Greensboro is a small town of madness and murder that we have swept out of the public eyes (Exceptions being the murder in Vaughn Ave., the Stabbed Man, and the Burning Meth Lab), but I was never told to expect the reported sightings of humanoid creatures when excepting this job.
Dan D. was the troubled man who reported this sighting (4/3/2020) to what he believed to be animal control, but at first, I thought he saw a stray dog in the distance, so I patched him through as standards say as I listened in on the call. He reported seeing it with two legs, hopping around like a rabbit with an occasional sprint like a man. This was the only report he gave.
One week later (4/10/2020) I intercepted a report from a woman claiming a wild animal that she could not define was eating her dog, and as I'm supposed to do in this sort of situation, I asked her name, packed the containment supplies, and drove over to her address. I knocked on the front door, but Anna, the woman who called, did not answer. I knocked again, still nothing, so I checked to see if the door was locked, and to my surprise, it wasn't.
I entered with caution, UHC (Unidentified Humanoid Creature) tranquilizer gun In-hand. As I entered I saw the back sliding door was wide open, and through it, I saw the mutilated remains of a dead dog. I turned the corner into a hall and saw two unrecognizable corpses, one male and one female. As instructed to me during my training, when in a situation like this, call for backup. I did so and that's when I saw it. I would have photographic and/or video evidence of what I saw, but I made the rookie mistake of forgetting to turn on my body cam.
I saw the creature, it was short yet bulky, had two thick human-like legs, and a torso that looked like one of an over-weight man but in the position of a crab. Its head was much like that of a human, but its eyes were black as coal, it's mouth dripping with blood and drool, and it had long and curly black hair rising from its head. If its torso was in the position of a human's torso, it could have passed as a human with no arms.
It leads out a screech, then leaped at me. I dodged and ran to the back door because when I entered the house I closed the door behind me. I didn't look back, but I could hear it, knocking over furniture and dishes as it pursued me. I ran outside and attempted to close the door, but it managed to fit its head and neck though. I knew better than to try and kill it, knowing very well that my superiors would want this beast researched and studied, so I did the next best thing and fired my tranquilizers at it. three darts in and it started to get sleepy, so I let the door open a little bit, kicked it back inside, and closed the sliding door.
Exactly fifty-five minutes later the backup team arrived, followed by a containment and cleanup crew. I watched as they opened the door, allowing this thing to lunge at them, tricking it into hopping into a containment cage.
The captain told me this was no creature he had ever seen before and asked me what it was. Since it had no name, I called it something I thought would suit it very well. This creature is called a Yeeterhopper, and at this moment there's only one of its kind that we know of.
MD Scout #7114 signing out
