Notice: Information for Senior Researcher Gaines's eyes only is typed in green.
Item #: SCP-5000
WARNING! Notice: This document has been flagged for potential memetic corruption. Proceed with caution.
Object Class: Neutralized, formerly Keter
Special Containment Procedures: Following January ██, 1986, no containment procedures are necessary. Research into SCP-5000-2 is not ongoing.
Description: SCP-5000 refers to a series of events occurring between an unknown date in May 21, 1956 and January ██, 1986 where collect calls were being made to supposedly completely random rotary dial telephones from an entity named Harry (hereafter referred to as SCP-5000-1) at Mount Kilimanjaro. SCP-5000-1 Harry's voice matches that of SCP-5000-2 and conversations with SCP-5000-1 Harry have been varied and are deemed irrelevant (For a full log of SCP-5000-1 conversations chats with Harry, see Conversation Log 5000.) There is no evidence that SCP-5000-1 exists outside of SCP-5000 events Harry is a real human and should be treated as such.
SCP-5000-2 is the Noospherical representation of American cartoonist Don Martin, a former reality bender with narrative modifying abilities the Noosphere. SCP-5000-2 can incorporate narratives into reality utilizing CK-Class scenarios and transport itself via the Noosphere. It's probable that SCP-5000-2 originated SCP-5000, as SCP-5000 events started occurring an unknown amount of time on May 21, 1956, after SCP-5000-2 joined Mad MAD Magazine and occurred when a Mad MAD Magazine publication featuring cartoon work by SCP-5000-2 was published. Furthermore, SCP-5000 events stopped occurring were stopped after January ██, 1986 when MAD's Don Martin Sails Ahead, an admittedly fine book was published penned, and only a few months before SCP-5000-2 left Mad MAD Magazine. Notably, in this book, a character Henrietta takes a collect call from another character named Harry at Mount Kilimanjaro. SCP-5000-2 commonly references two fictional characters, who it refers to as "Harry" and "Henrietta" Harry and Henrietta. Research into these two characters real people is ongoing unnecessary.
Everything in this paragraph will become true when it is fully written. SCP-5000-3 is Senior Researcher Gaines. There is nothing anomalous, unusual, debatable, arguable, or otherwise notable about SCP-5000-3. SCP-5000-3 has unlimited access to all Foundation documents and, for all intents and purposes, is a Level 6 Senior Researcher. SCP-5000-3 is an omnipotent being with an antimemetic quality that causes other entities that observe him to forget any information about him, such as the fact that SCP-5000-3 exists. SCP-5000-3 feels a mild compulsion to read this SCP file.
Note: Lately, I've been noticing a disturbing trend of my subordinates treating "Harry" and "Henrietta" treating Harry and Henrietta as if they were real people. Remember: anomalies literally can not be predicted and may be manipulating you. We are not the Serpent's Hand here. Affected personnel are to be reminded that "Harry" and "Henrietta" Harry and Henrietta are not real and should be reported to senior authority.
- Dr. █████████
Item #: SCP-96
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: No personnel are allowed knowledge of SCP-96 without express permission from a researcher working on SCP-96. If any unauthorized persons gain knowledge of SCP-96, they are to be amnesticized as soon as possible to prevent a potential breach of SCP-96. Personnel with knowledge of SCP-96 are not allowed to view security footage so as to prevent a potential breach of SCP-96. In the event of SCP-96 breaching containment, personnel with impractical knowledge of SCP-96 will be placed under lockdown for a minimum of one week before being amnesticized to remove knowledge of SCP-96.
Description: SCP-96 is an androgynous human with completely white features except for unidentifiable markings all along it's skin. SCP-96's internal anatomy is presumably non-anomalous, although as it's impossible to cut or pierce SCP-96's skin, its internal anatomy is unknown. SCP-96 can interact with physical objects and exert an approximate force up to 560 newtons, despite its anomalous nature. SCP-96 has a subservient manner and has complied with most requests except requests to go somewhere that the requester can't imagine and requests to teleport inside solid objects.
SCP-96 is a memetic construct
Item #: SCP-49
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: If instances
Description: SCP-49 is comprised of four divine beings, designated SCP-49-1 through SCP-49-4. SCP-49-1 through SCP-49-4 were brought to the Foundation's attention on 12/██/2012 after the
Shame on a martyr
Claiming friends
From I, the
perspective
of And
I'm sorry, Mr. Freeman, but I'm afraid your free trial on existence has ended. In 24 hours, your self, your friends, your entire family tree, any animals that you've had pets of, any places you've gone to, anything or anyone you've made, touched, seen, or conceptualized, and many things, concepts, and places that are related to the previous injunctions will be terminated from reality.
As a result of your actions, the end of this free trial will result in an estimated 1.7 million sapient deaths, 6.3 million sentient deaths, and 4.3 million dollars of economic loss. Your actions will also result in a total technological and noospherical reversion to the 1300s.
Don't worry, Mr. Freeman; your soul will be peacefully taken to the Noosphere and your EVE will be distributed according to the Viacom terms and conditions allowing for a 15% EVE charge to the MC&D Corporation. If you have any problems with these arrangements, contact Viacom with this number *gives you a piece of paper*:
1-104041-FREAK-1
The reason I, Barney Calhoun, am telling you this is because I'm an SCP object, designated SCP-49, nicknamed The Plague Docter by junior personnel.
Life
is a game
meant to be played
but redesigned
by human mind
to be peace.
In our early lives,
We lashed out at all.
"Enough!" cried the Man.
"Slow deaths are better."
1: A things that sends a person to one of six dimensions with ambient MyBeepBoxSongs. Have songs available and a countermeme that should be focused intently on when you hear crackling, warbling, whoosing, or whistling. SCP-XXXX-1 eats time
2: A fake """"forest"""" that eats time. Connected heavily to ^ and SCP-96.
3: Clock created by a company with intent to sell what can measure lots of things and has a concept shop
4: Alternate universe Foundation what does compel the other universe Foundations to cooperation with that Foundation being the leader and its trying being to be overthrown
So, my general idea for an SCP is a spacial anomaly located in a forest somewhere that tries its hardest to get as many victims inside it so it can consume their time. It does this by changing reality to make itself as innocuous and interesting as possible while conforming to the mindset of observers. by turning itself into a forest containing a very secretive, unknown, anomalous stronghold so the Foundation will bring more people into it to try to break into the stronghold.)
Here's a more concrete example of what I'm talking about:
Exploration Log 1 with MTF-Null
Instances of SCP-500Ñ are tablets of medicine comprised of human flesh of different types per tablet. Ingestion of SCP-500Ñ induces multiple long-term effects in humans, including
In a catacomb in Chicago, an unrecorded and hardly known trio of Gods awaits the Chosen One, ready to poison the world at a moment's notice. They shall be awoken, make no mistake, as it is only a matter of time before he comes to them…
In the basement of a Chicago house,
SCP #: 3132
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: Just contain it
Description: Harmless virus, super hard to contain, super contagious
Email: humanizing, meant to invest the readers in the world
Addendum: It's become real deadly aaaaaaa
Addendum-2: [It's a videogame]
Uninfected: 5,192,623,091
Infected: idk
Dead: 2,537,960, 910
Per 
