项目编号: SCP-2253

项目等级: Safe

特殊收容措施: The building exhibiting the SCP-2253 phenomenon has been converted to a Foundation research site. SCP-2253 is legally a brewery which is also a Foundation front organization, with the brewers being given Level 2 security clearance. An underground research laboratory has been constructed under SCP-2253 studying samples of alcoholic beverages previously created within SCP-2253. Any anomalous beverages produced by SCP-2253 are to be stored within Site-77. 表现出SCP-2253迹象的建筑已被改造为一基金会研究站点。SCP-2253在法律上是一个属于基金会的皮包公司的啤酒厂,在其中工作的酿酒师均被给予二级安全许可。在SCP-2253下建造了一个地下研究室,用于研究先前在SCP-2253中产生的酒精饮料样品。任何由SCP-2253产生的异常酒精饮料应被储存于Site-77

描述: SCP-2253 is an anomalous brewery located in Springfield, NJ, USA. Whenever alcoholic beverages are brewed on the premises, they have a 5% chance of being mixed with a protoplasmic substance. In addition, a spectral humanoid entity resides within SCP-2253 with limited ability to manipulate its surroundings. SCP-2253是一家位于美国的新泽西州,斯普林菲尔德的异常啤酒厂。无论何时,在该酿造厂酿造的酒精饮料都有5%的几率混有一种原生质液体。此外,SCP-2253中有一个拥有对其周围环境的有限操纵能力的光谱个体1

This free-floating incorporeal entity (SCP-2253-1) identifies as Stephen Crane, an American politician who served as a delegate to the Continental Congress from 1774 to 1776.2 It is apparently in a perpetual state of intoxication. SCP-2253-1 is capable of exerting up to 20N of force and excreting various protoplasmic fluids. These excretions usually manifest as SCP-2253-1 simulating bodily functions. 这个能够自由移动的无形实体(SCP-2253-1)被认为是斯蒂芬·克莱恩,一位在1774年至1776年间担任大陆会议的代表的美国政治家3。该实体显然陷入了一种永久的醉酒状态。SCP-2253-1能够施加高达20N的力以及分泌出大量的原生质液体。这些分泌物通常会表现为SCP-2253-1的外形并模拟机体功能。

The alcoholic beverages containing SCP-2253 protoplasmic fluids are non-anomalous, with chemical analysis revealing that it is identical to Ethyl Hexanoate4. Consumption of the beverages has shown enhanced taste and flavor, although testing has shown mild to severe abdominal discomfort when consumed after consuming foodstuffs such as tea, fish and chips, and other British cuisine. 含SCP-2253原生质液体的酒精饮料是无异常的,化学分析显示其与乙酸乙酯相同5。对这些酒精饮料的品尝发现它们拥有比普通饮料更佳的口感与味道,尽管实验表明在食用炸鱼薯条,或是饮用茶等英国式食品饮料后饮用这些饮料会导致从轻微至严重的胃部不适的情况。

SCP-2253-1 is cooperative, and researchers are encouraged to converse with it whenever possible in order to learn more about its origins and properties. SCP-2253-1乐于合作,鼓励研究员与其尽可能的进行交流以了解它的起源与性质。

历史: SCP-2253's properties were initially noted after being purchased by a craft brewing operation. It is unknown if SCP-2253 had its effects prior to this due to preexisting records being destroyed by Hurricane Diane. Initially, SCP-2253-1 attempted to frighten the new occupants out of SCP-2253. However SCP-2253-1 ceased its harassment after learning that they intended to brew alcoholic beverages. Following this, the protoplasmic substances began manifesting within SCP-2253. SCP-2253的异常特性最初因项目被一手工酿酒厂购买而被注意到。由于现前的各种记录被戴安娜飓风摧毁,目前尚不清楚SCP-2253是否在此之前便已表现出异常性质。起初,SCP-2253-1试图恐吓SCP-2253的新住户,让他们从这里搬离,然而SCP-2253-1在得知了他们将要在此处酿造酒精饮料后停止了骚扰。在此之后原生质液体开始在SCP-2253中出现。

Due to the name of the brewery,6 agents of Marshall, Carter, and Dark Ltd. began investigating shortly after this initial opening, believing it to be a Foundation front. MC&D agents made several offers to purchase SCP-2253, all of which were refused by the owners. The refusal was partially motivated by SCP-2253-1's distaste towards a British corporation. MC&D, in turn, believed their business to be a front for the SCP Foundation to monitor their New England activities. 由于酿酒厂的名字7Marshall、Carter和Dark有限公司的特工认为这是一个基金会的前台公司,在啤酒厂开业后不久便开始对其进行调查。MC&D的特工曾多次向其拥有者提出购买SCP-2253的提议,但都被拒绝了。拒绝这一提议的部分原因是SCP-2253-1对英国公司的厌恶。然而MC&D因此认为该企业是SCP基金会监视MC&D在新英格兰的商业活动的前线。

MC&D attempted to seize SCP-2253 by force on ██/██/████. After initial success in securing the property and detaining all occupants, SCP-2253-1 became hostile and began using cooking utensils, brewing equipment benches and granite counter-tops as projectile weapons against the MC&D Agents. Local police began to respond to reports of an ongoing shootout, and brought Foundation office's attention the situation. Three MC&D agents were captured, and fifteen local police officers were administered Class-B amnestics. MC&D曾于██/██/████试图通过武力掌控SCP-2253。最初SCP-2253-1成功的保护了酿酒厂并扣留了所有工作人员,在这之后它变得充满敌意并将炊具,酿造设备,以及花岗岩材质的工作台台面等物品作为对抗MC&D特工的投掷武器。当地警方对这场持续交火的报导做出了回应,基金会官方也注意到了这一情况。最终逮捕了三名MC&D特工,十五名当地的警官被施以B级记忆删除。

As of ██/██/████ SCP-2253 is classified as Safe. ████/██/██,SCP-2253被分级为Safe。

附录: Investigation into SCP-2253-1's relationship with Stephen Crane has been ongoing, due to the entity making frequent incorrect or impossible statements about Mr. Crane's life. SCP-2253-1 has attributed this to intoxication and age creating a propensity for exaggeration, but other theories about persons who have died on the property or could be considered candidates for other reasons.

  • Samson Crane - Resident of Springfield from 1765 to 1781, when his head was stomped on by a mule outside a tavern. Notably, several primary historical sources from the time indicate that he had at least a partial resemblance to Stephen Crane, and was possibly a cousin.
  • Samuel Chase - Signer of the Declaration of Independence. SCP-2253-1 has claimed to be a judge in the past, frequently when the owners of SCP-2253 were discussing legal procedures and taxes. SCP-2253-1 has identified itself as "Sam" and "Sammy" on multiple occasions.
  • Unknown youth - Obituaries from 1915 indicate that a youth attending college in the area struck his head on concrete and was killed at a costume party taking place in the area. Notably, the party was apparently put on by a local historical society.

Over the years, I, CryogenChaosCryogenChaos, have posted several short supplements to tales and forum threads in the form of comments on said articles and threads. These "micro tales", as they were, have generally been well received by the community, and even sparked full tale fodder. As such, many folks have said that it would be a shame if these little blurbs were lost to the ravages of Wikidot time, so fellow user ObserverSeptemberObserverSeptember helped compile a few of the more noteworthy ones here. If you find any others and would like to have them added here, shoot me a message or post a link in the comments!

Also, I'll probably still be writing mini-tales as they come, so expect to see this page grow.

Note: As most of these are intended as supplements to the main content, it's recommended to read the main tale/forum post/etc. in order to get some context.


故事:平静的日子 (原发布处)

Doctor Gears stayed longer than any of the other personnel (with the exception of the O5 council, of course), assisting others with their re-adjustment into society. He noticed a wide variety of emotions from the leaving staff: some were overjoyed that they were finally done working with such dangerous objects and eager to start a new, normal life; some were angry that they basically had to start over from scratch, claiming that spending the last few years in a facility that according to official record did not exist was shit for their resumes; and, most curious of all, a fair amount of sadness from people who, as far as Gears was concerned, should have been glad everything was back to normal.

Days passed and people left, and eventually it was time for Gears himself to go. As he walked away from the now empty Site 19, he stopped and looked back for a moment, remembering all the time he had spent in that building. He still couldn't believe it was over, that protecting humanity, the job that he had committed himself to for longer than he could remember, was finished. As he gazed back at the facility, a strange thing began to happen: he began to feel rather odd. It was small at first, just a slight discomfort in his gut.

Then, the memories began to fall.

He remembered the constant struggles against 682. He remembered the puzzlement and amusement from testing 914. He was feeling quite uncomfortable now. He remembered the break room with the other researchers, how they would laugh and make jokes and have a great time while he would sit, stoic as always. He remembered the fun they would all have together. He could feel his breathing becoming labored. He remembered, shortly after the discovery of the loss of the anomalies, Bright finally achieving his final wish. He remembered Clef being unable to cope with normalcy and taking his own life. He remembered Rights, normally mischeveous and joyful, cleaning out her office with a distinct look of sorrow on her face. He remembered how even though it was a stressful, terrible place to be, how it was home to more demons and horrors than any other place in the world, perhaps even the universe…it was still home.

For the first time in many, many years, Gears felt a tidal wave of emotions.

And for the first time in many, many years, Gears began to cry.

故事:平静的日子 (原发布处)

"To the O5 Council (and the rest of the Foundation, too!) - “致O5议会(当然,还有其余的基金会成员!)

Thank you all for being my very best collectors! Sadly, it is with a heavy heart that I must inform you that I do not think I will continue with my work any longer. I've done my part here, and I hope that my products have made people happy (I especially hope that they made YOU all happy as well!). As part of my final goodbyes, I have included a special, one-of-a-kind collectable that I wish for you to have. It may not be as impressive as my other creations, but I hope you find it wonderful in its own right.

Sincerely, 你真诚的,

Doctor Wondertainment" Doctor Wondertainment”

This was the note that was attached to a rather large package wrapped in glimmering purple wrapping paper. When opened, the package contained a rather large replica of Site 19, made out of ordinary plastic. When opened, the model building contained detailed figurines of each of the site personnel, from the O5 personnel down to the lowliest janitors, each poseable and each with noticable smiles on their faces, but otherwise nothing anomalous about them. Each individual figurine has been sent to its appropriate counterpart along with a copy of the note.

论坛原帖:What does SCP-055 actually look like? SCP-055实际上看起来是什么样子呢? (原发布处)

"You know, this will be the five hundred and eighth time I've told you all this story, so let's start out with some startling news you won't remember. These defenses are nice, but honestly you probably know as well as I do that they don't do jack. I mean, I can open the door basically any time I want, I keep it propped open just enough to make it look like it's locked, but that's beside the point. Now then, onto origins, I suppose.

I came to you people because I wanted to know what the hell was wrong with me, why nobody could remember me and why I practically don't exist. I mean, sure, it had its advantages, like being able to do practically anything without consequence, but after awhile the need for human contact just became too much. Even with my 'mysterious nature', I'm really surprised I was in the right place at the right time to find you people. I talked to your site director and convinced them of my…what'd they call them? Anomalous properties? Anyway, when I was able to tell your director all about his wife when he didn't even remember talking to me, he got a bit understandably freaked out. I think the fifty inch cement was a bit of overkill, but I still appreciate the gesture.

You probably don't remember how long I've been here. Hell, I don't even remember how long I've been here. I do remember around the twenty year mark I started to get annoyed at how little progress was being made, so I started to leave whenever I got the opportunity. Fooling you all wasn't hard, I could leave a freaking toenail behind and you'd still think you had the mysterious anti-meme on your hands. Despite my annoyance, I was really interested in your organization, picking up weird things off the streets and studying them for science. I liked that.

But then I saw the downsides. I saw how you all couldn't take certain risks for fear of exposure, for fear of media attention that you couldn't control. So that's when I decided to help. I snagged one of your radios and since then I've helped you put away more anomalies than you can count. That's right, I'm your Foundation's 'guardian angel' of sorts. I go out and I take the risks you can't afford to, and I help you bring these things in. Don't worry, I'm not going to go rogue entirely. After all, for what its worth, this cell you've put me in is my home.

No, no, that's fine, you're going to forget this conversation anyway. They always do, and at this point I've stopped caring. It's fine, really. I mean, I'm not all that important. In the end, I'm just a Nobody, after all." 不不,没关系,反正你也会忘记这次谈话的。他们总是这样,我也已经不在乎这一点了。没关系,真的。我是说,我并没有那么重要,说到底我也只是一个无名小卒而已。


故事:我们的代价 (原发布处)

In the center of a crowded art gallery stands a man, surrounded by aficionados and critics alike, showering him with praise and attention. They marveled at his latest masterpiece, a sculpture of a woman devouring her partner. Riveting, they call it. A true work of art, near lifelike in its detail and complexity! The man smiles outwardly, but inside he feels hollow. To him, this was not art. This was a paycheck. This had less meaning than the back of a damn cereal box. The man remembers a time when paintings made you think, when sculptures said more than what they were made of, when the artist was more than just a hack with a brush, but a god in their own right. He gazes at his creation, and for a brief moment believes he sees it move, sees it take on the life he desperately tried to give it during those long days in his studio. But it was just a trick of the light, and he's reminded again that art, true art, is dead. 那名男人站在拥挤的画廊中心,被狂热的粉丝与评论家包围,沐浴在无尽的赞扬与关注中。他们惊异于他最新的杰作——一名正在吞噬自己的伴侣的女性的雕塑。“引人入胜”,他们是这么说的。这是一件真正的艺术品,无论是细节还是复杂度上来说都栩栩如生!男人表面上露出微笑,但内心却感到空虚无比。对他来说,这并不是艺术,只是一张支票。这东西比一个该死的麦片盒的背面还要毫无意义。男人还记得那时的画作让人思考,那时的雕像所表达的远不止它们是由什么所制作的,那时的艺术家并不仅仅是一个拿着刷子的杂务人员,而是神明自身。他凝视着自己的造物,有那么一瞬间他相信自己看到它动了一下,看到它获得了自己在工作室中埋头工作了很久,迫切的想要让它拥有的生命。但那只是光线造成的错觉,他有一次的意识到,艺术,那真正的艺术,早已死去。

There are many like him, you know. They lived in a time when art was as real as you or I, but now their offspring stand still, forever bound by a normalcy they never asked for, and any message these creators had now silenced by the forward march in time. This is the price they pay. This is the price we pay. 你也知道的,这里有很多像他这样的人。他们曾生活在一个艺术像你与我一样真实存活的时代,但现在他们的后代却停滞不前,永远地被他们从未索求过的常态所束缚,而创造者们曾持有的任何信息都已经被时间的前进所沉寂。


SCP:SCP-821 (原发布处)

Mr. Funland sat down and let out a heavy sigh, his decision placing a huge burden on his mind. He still couldn't believe that after all these years he simply had to shut down the park. That park was his dream, his legacy! What was he supposed to do from now on? He knew he was going to eventually go back into business, but for what? Mr. Funland坐下来,重重的叹了一口气,他的决定为他的精神造成了沉重的负担。他仍然无法相信,在这么多年之后,他不得不关闭这座公园。这座公园是他的梦想,是他的遗产!从此之后他将会做什么?他知道他最终肯定会重新行商,但这又是为了什么呢?

Another park? Maybe in the future, but right now it doesn't seem likely. 另一个公园?或许将来这会实现,但现在看来是不可能的。

Books? Eh, he's never really been one for writing. 书?呃,他从来就不是一个真正的作家。

Toys? 玩具?

…actually…that's not a bad idea. The toys were one of the most popular elements of the park. Even the most jaded and stoic kids cracked a smile when they laid eyes on a Funland Fantasy Figurine, even if it's charm existed only in their imaginations. ……事实上……这还是个不错的想法。这些玩具是公园里最受欢迎的元素之一。即使是最疲倦,最冷淡的孩子,当他们看到Funland的美妙角色时都会忍不住露出一丝微笑,即使它的魅力仅仅存在于他们的想象中。

Funland stood up, confident he was on the right path now. Yes! He would start making toys! But not just any toys, oh no! He'd make the most wonderful, most unique toys this world had ever seen, possibly even this universe had ever seen! They would invoke the most basic, most primal elements of whimsy and fantasy into the hearts of children, just as his beloved park once did. Funland站了起来,相信自己所走的正是正确的那条道路。没错!他会开始做玩具!但并不是现在所有的任何玩具,哦不!他将会做出这个世界上绝无仅有的,可能甚至是整个宇宙中最绝妙,最独特的玩具!它们会将最为基础,最为原始的奇思妙想的元素注入孩子的心灵,就如同他深爱的公园曾经做的那样。

But he couldn't call himself Mr. Funland anymore. It wouldn't flow well on toy labels, and frankly it was just another reminder of a shattered dream that would always drag him back to the past. No! He had to start fresh! He would have to think of something better, something unique. A name that invoked feelings of wonder and entertainment. 但是他再也不能称呼自己为Mr. Funland了。它不适合放在玩具的标签上,坦率而言,这只是另一个让他不断的会想起自己破碎的梦想,并且将他拖回过去的东西。不!他必须得重新开始!他要想出一些更好的,更独特的东西。那应该是一个唤起奇妙与快乐的感觉的名字。



SCP:SCP-208 (原发布处)

And so the vain pharaoh Unas, jealous that this "Bes" was loved more than he, called for the so-called healer to be executed and his body to be chopped to pieces, encased in stone and buried next to the Nile. That night, Bes was taken by Unas' guards to what was going to be his tomb: a large block of granite with a hole carved to fit the body parts of the great healer. The guards, however, found they could not carry out their pharaoh's orders, for they loved Bes far too much. They had quite a dilemma on their hands: they could not kill Bes, but they could not return to Unas without having killed Bes, for if he found that they had lied he would have them executed.

The kind and wonderful Bes did then have a suggestion, one radical enough to ease the guards' concerns. He would allow himself to be entombed in the rock entirely, save for a single foot to stick out from the top, giving the impression that he had been chopped to pieces. He would then be buried next to the Nile, just as Unas had ordered. Despite Bes' assurances that he would not be harmed, the guards were still hesitant to bury the beloved healer, and only after a great deal of coaxing from Bes did they finally agree. Even so, they could not stop the tears from flowing as they dug the hole to bury the man who healed their friends and families for as long as any of them could remember. 但是善良而聪慧的Bes向他们提出了一个建议,一个能够彻底打消侍卫们的担忧的建议。他可以让自己完全的埋入这块岩石中,只露出一只脚,给人一种他已经被剁成碎块的错觉。然后,按照乌纳斯的命令,他将被埋葬在尼罗河旁。尽管Bes向侍卫们保证他不会因此受到伤害,但他们依旧在犹豫是否要活埋这位受人爱戴的医生;终于,在Bes费了好一番口舌劝说后,他们同意了。即便如此,他们在挖坑准备埋葬这位从他们中任何一个有记忆以来就一直在治愈他们的家人与朋友的医生时,泪水还是止不住的流淌下来。

At the dawn of the next day, the guards reported back to Unas that they had completed their task. Knowing the great love his people had for Bes, Unas went to the Nile himself to confirm that the deed had been done. Sure enough, when taken to the burial site, he noticed Bes' foot sticking out from the sand. Convinced that the great healer was no more, Unas laughed triumphantly, for now no one else would stand equal to him, the great god-king Unas, who would one day proudly walk with Ra himself, who would be remembered for all of time! 第二天的黎明,侍卫们向乌纳斯报告称他们已经完成了任务。乌纳斯知道他的子民是多么爱戴Bes,于是便亲自前往尼罗河边确认。果然,当他到了埋葬Bes的地点时,他注意到了从沙子中伸出的脚。乌纳斯对于这位伟大医者已经死去的事实深信不疑,得意的大笑出声,因为现在没有任何人能够与他匹敌,终有一天将会与拉同行的伟大神王乌纳斯,将会永远被世人铭记!

And so it came to pass that Unas, last pharaoh of the Old Kingdom, despite all his claims of magnificence and grandeur, had no sons to continue his legacy, and his bloodline ended with him.最终,乌纳斯——这位古老王国最后的统治者,尽管他肆无忌惮的夸耀自己的伟大,但却没有儿子来继承他的王国,他的血脉也从此断绝了。


论坛原帖:Are veiled references in other media allowed? 是否允许在其它媒体上的作品中隐晦的引用基金会相关内容? (原发布处)

"Hey," says a bright young idealist, eager to share his favorite creepypasta series with the world, "what if we published a book about the SCP series? It'd be amazing! What do you guys thi-" “嘿各位。”一个年轻又聪明,渴望与整个世界分享他最爱的creepypasta系列的理想主义者说,“我们出版一本有关SCP系列的书如何?这绝对棒极了!你们怎么看这——”

The hopeful youngsters words fade away as a sound emanates from the forum. It is one faint voice at first, nearly silent, but as the seconds pass more voices add to the mass, growing louder and louder until the forum is almost shaking with the snakelike hiss of the seasoned veterans of the SCP. They repeat the same words over and over, an empty rage fueling the noise. 这位满怀希望的年轻人的话语随着论坛中涌出的声音的增多而被淹没。这起初只是一个微弱的,近乎于无声的声音,但随着事件六十更多的声音聚集了起来,变得越来越大直至整个论坛都因经验丰富的SCP老手的蛇嘶声而摇动。他们不断的重复着同样的话,一种空洞的愤怒让这噪声越来越强。

"Creative Commonsssssssssssss! Creative Commonsssssssss!" “CC协议!CC协议!”

The fresh-faced writer is taken aback by this response. Surely these people wanted their community to succeed! Why were they resisting? "B-but don't you guys want people around the world to share in your stories?!" 这位略显稚嫩的的写手听到这回应吃了一惊,这些人应当是想要他们的社区变得成功的啊!但他们为什么会反对呢?“但——但你们难道不想让全世界的人分享你们的故事吗?!”

"Creative Commonssssssssssss! Creative Commonssssssssssss!" “CC协议!CC协议!”

"But what about fame, about notoriety? Surely THAT interests you!" “但是考虑下这样做会带来的名声?不这么做会有的恶名?你们肯定会对感兴趣的!”

"Creative Commonsssssssssss! Creative Commonsssssssssssss!" “CC协议!CC协议!”

"Money, then! What about money?!" “那钱呢!考虑下能赚到的钱?!”

Without warning, the hissing stops. The empty silence is amplified as the young poster sits and waits nervously for the response. Did the prospect of profit change their minds? 毫无预警地,嘘声停止了。空洞的沉默在论坛中弥漫,年轻的发帖者坐在其中紧张的等待着回应。获得利润的前景会改变他们的想法吗?

Like lightning, the community strikes! Hundreds if not thousands of venomous bites are delivered as the poster writhes in agony. How DARE he suggest something so obvious! Of COURSE we've thought about money! Of COURSE we've thought about fame, about making this wiki profitable! But this…this insect doesn't understand what we've gone through! The attacks continue on and on until finally…silence. 就像一道闪电劈下,整个社区都被击中了!数百,甚至数千剧毒的

Nothing left of the naive newbie, save for a single finger pointing at a hastily etched note of regret:

"Creative Commons" “CC协议。”


论坛原帖:A lifted veil 升起的帷幕 (原发布处)

"Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to announce that R&D have finally located the source of the toys made by this "Doctor Wondertainment". It's taken years of hard work and hard money, but the demands of the consumer must always be met! Our new plan is simple: we find whatever it is that makes these things tick, and we reverse engineer them and sell them at marked up prices! Over time, we will figure out the most popular product lines (the 'Little Misters' we keep finding seem especially promising) and turn them into entire franchises all their own, with movies, TV shows, hell, even Happy Meal toys! Of course, we're not stupid, we're not going to just send these off with the Wondertainment logo still stamped on them, nor are we going to completely overwrite it. After all, if the actual Doctor Wondertainment shows up and finds we've been selling his products, I imagine we'd be in for a very…intense legal suit. No, our boys in Marketing have been working on that too, and they've come up with a solution. To the consumer, we make the toys. To the creator, we are the distributor of the toys, and we will create a brand name that combines our names to ensure we mean no ill will to the original producer. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you…DISNEYTAINMENT TOYS!" “女士们先生们,我很高兴的宣布R&D公司终于成功的定位了‘Wondertainment博士’所生产的玩具的来源!这花费了数年的努力与大量的金钱,但消费者的需求必须得到满足!我们的新计划很简单:我们会找到任何能够让这些玩具运转起来的东西,然后用逆向工程解析并高价出售他们!”


Forum Post: A lifted veil (原发布处)

someone says "Right, enough of this" and just blows up every hipster coffee shop in the country.

And finally, after several years of relative obsurity to the U.S., the anomalous absolutist deconstructionist art movement "Right, Enough Of This" (or REOT) made themselves known to the American people by planting coffee cups with their "slogan" written on the side that explode when all of them are filled with coffee. The remnants of Are We Cool Yet? either defect to this new group, or decide that art isn't worth their lives and abandon the idea entirely. The British Ministry of Abnormal Occurances, desperate to keep the United Kingdom out of war due to these post-postmodern nihilsts, send all the information they collected over the years about REOT to the Bureau of Unusual Incidents, and (thanks to a previously established connection made before the "great unveiling") said information gets passed on to the Foundation, who take measures to keep an eye on this new group of interest.


Forum Post: Deleted SCP entry (No Original Post Available)

The reality bender grinned as he entered the middle of the ring. These were the fights he lived for, the fights he loved to organize. Most of the time, it was just animals vs. inanimate objects or something stupid like that. This time, though, things were different. The stadium was packed with entities of all shapes and sizes; just from a quick glance, he could see a couple of Sl'thans, a few wayward humans in lab coats (those damn Foundationites, he was going to have to have a word with them after the show), a Vampyr Countess, and if he didn't know any better, he'd say the fellow with the gaping maw was an emissary of the Pattern Screamer. Tonight was going to be a good night.

He turned on his microphone before speaking. "Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the Battle of the Beasts! Tonight, we have a very special fight lined up for you all, a matchup that happens only once every few decades! For this night, you will all be present…for a sentient humanoid fight!"

The stadium shook with the uproar of cheers as the reality bender waited for the noise to die down. "Yes, yes, now allow me to introduce you to our combatants!" He walked a few paces to a corner of the ring, where a strange looking lizard man was being held by two burly captors. The reptilians hands and feet were bound, and he had a muzzle over his mouth. He looked very angry. "In this corner, hailing from the east side of the Gamma Quadrant, we have the last living warrior of the extinct species known as the Reptiliax! His speed and power are matched only by his ruthlessness, here to perform for you tonight, give it up for Vileskar the Destroyer!"

The crowd erupted again with a combination of cheers and boos, all of which agitated Vileskar significantly, fiercely pulling on his restraints. The reality bender walked to the opposite corner, where another humanoid golem sat, being restrained almost exactly the same way as his opponent, a cold fury found in his unblinking eyes. "And in this corner, hailing from the planet Terra, we have a unique example of a human experiment gone horribly, horribly wrong! This creature's skin is as hard as his strength is high, ready to prove its existence to you all, put your hands together for Specimen 1265!"

The reality bender walked back to the center of the ring as the crowd's insane cheering reverberated throughout the stadium. The reality bender motioned for the restraints to be removed, snapped his fingers and rematerialized in his box seat, his final words still echoing around.

"Let the fight…BEGIN!"


Forum Post: What is your least favorite type of SCP? (原发布处)

a keyring dongle soldered to the inside of O5-13's bum

"…and in closing, I humbly accept this position you have bestowed unto me. I will do my best to perform my duties as well as my predecessor." finished the newly-appointed O5-13, secretly overjoyed that his hard work has finally paid off. Though the position was infinitely more stressful than his previous position, and he knew there was absolutely no reason to celebrate considering where he was and what he was working with, he had to find small pockets of joy somewhere, and pride in his work was one of his best sources.

"That was quite a speech, 13!" said O5-7, shaking O5-13's hand with only the vaguest hit of a smirk on his face. "It's good to see you're still enthusiastic about the position despite what rumors you may have heard about what we O5's have to deal with on a day-to-day basis. Of course, it's not as though you had a choice about the position anyway!" O5-7 laughed dryly at his own little joke, then cleared his throat.

"Ahem. Now, you have one last thing you have to do before you can begin your duties as an O5. You see, your position is…unique among our ranks as you yourself will be part of one of these objects' containment procedures. Specifically, SCP-XXXX's containment procedures." O5-13 looked at his colleague with mild surprise. As far as he knew, O5s weren't allowed access to any of the SCP objects, and he hadn't even heard of this "SCP-XXXX". Still, he swore to do his duty with honor, and he intended to uphold that no matter what.

"That's alright, just tell me what I have to do. Do I have to clear some files? Or authorize civilian access? Or is it something more simple, like just holding on to a key?" O5-13 asked, anxious to learn what his newfound responsibility was going to be. O5-7 smiled with a slight look of pity on his face as he wordlessly gestured to the doorway to Medical Lab 0, which was for use exclusively by the O5s. Standing in the doorway were two men dressed in surgical apparel, one holding a very important looking keyring dongle and another holding a very intimidating looking soldering iron. Their faces were expressionless as they waved him over.

As O5-13 started to walk over to the surgeons, he started to get a very bad feeling about his new job.

Forum Post: What is done with all the D-class bodies? (原发布处)

O5-8 looked at his fellow Overseers in dismay. They stood at the doorway to O5-1's chamber, shuffling their feet and trying desperately to spend as much time not going in as physically possible. This was their least favorite part of the day, bar none, particularly since most of them didn't choose to be Overseers, the monster in the room chose them. Why it did is anyone's guess, though most of them felt it was because God despised them more than anything else. Steeling their nerves, the group opened the door.

The featureless room was large but mostly empty, save for O5-1. Even though it was seen daily, the O5s still could barely keep themselves from retching whenever they looked upon the gargantuan mound of flesh that was crudely fashioned in the shape of a large infant. O5-1 looked down on his subordinates with his beady little eyes, barely visible underneath the folds of flabby, mottled skin. His sickeningly large mouth stretched wide into a grin, showing off each of his grotesquely sharpened teeth, stained crimson and yellow from decades upon decades of feeding.

The silence that permeated the air was broken by O5-5, clearing her throat before addressing the monstrous titan before her. "S-sir, we have brought todays harvest for you." she said, pointedly avoiding making eye contact with O5-1. He didn't like that, after all. "Good-good!" shouted O5-1, his unnervingly childlike voice echoing off the steel walls. "I want Seven to read to me this time!"

O5-7 stepped forward, taking the list from O5-5, who gave her comrade a look of sorrow. O5-7 cleared his throat, and meekly called back to O5-9, "P-please wheel todays harvest forward so our b-bestest friend ever can have his dinner." O5-9 grabbed hold of the large crate they brought in with them and pushed it forward just enough for O5-1 to reach, then quickly sprinted back to the group. O5-1 gingerly opened the crate top and pulled out the first part of his meal.

"First on the list is D-69414, killed by a sentient Crunch bar that was dispensed by SCP-261." O5-1 giggled with glee as it messily tore apart the lifeless corpse it held in its stubby little hands. "Sweet treats, sweet eats, sweet meats!" sang O5-1 as it ate, the gruesome spectacle forcing the other O5s to turn their heads in disgust and horror. With one final sickening crunch, O5-1 finished the first corpse, and shouted, "NEXT!"

O5-7 was looking very pale as he read aloud, "Next is D-16883, partway transformed into a 'flesh beast' by SCP-427 before being shot by security detail." O5-1 grabbed the flabby mound of skin in the box and hungrily tore into it, the crunch from before now replaced with an even more disgustingly loud squeak as the slimy flesh of the D-class met the razor sharp fangs of the horrendous abomination. It hummed happily as it slurped down the last of the flesh beast, then began digging into the crate again for more food.

"F-f-finally, D-73093, mauled by SCP-682. As per your request, we left any skin samples and teeth in D-73093's bod-" O5-7 stopped abruptly to cover his ears like the rest of his group as O5-1 screeched in absolute delight. It had been a very long time since he had had a taste of the indestructible lizard, and he had been missing the flavor! This time, O5-1 ate the body very slowly, savoring every tiny morsel of 682 he tasted, looking all the world like he was brimming with ecstasy. Thirty minutes later, O5-1 finished the last bite, gave one more satisfied sigh, and turned his attention to the rest of the O5 council.

"This was a very good meal! I wish to sleep now, so you may all go. I look forward to seeing you all tomorrow, friends!" O5-1 smiled as his best pals in the world scrambled out the door. He closed his eyes, preparing to drift into a meat coated wonderland, reflecting upon his dinner. Hopefully next time he would get to eat a body soaked in 075's acid! O5-1 giggled. Truly, tomorrow was going to be a good day.


Forum Post: An Idea concerning the Overseers (原发布处)

"Welcome to your new position, O5-13. You have been given your new role because you have proven yourself worthy to know the truth about everything your Foundation holds. You can be trusted to keep the secrets that many of your kind cannot bear. You should feel proud. You only have one last test to pass, the test of knowing the truth about your own council.

You may ask why the overseer council exists. Your assumption is likely that you organized yourselves in an effort to save your species. That you are the leaders of the last bastion of defense against the unknown. Perhaps you even believe you are the last light of protectors of a cold, unflinching universe of horrors.

How presumptuous.

What you and the rest of your Foundation fail to realize is that you are not alone, nor are you special. There are hundreds, thousands of other species across the cosmos who do the exact same thing you do: contain those anomalies that cannot be known by their race for fear of mass panic, for fear that knowledge of the extreme unknown will cause their societies to tear themselves apart.

You play an important role, to be sure, but you do not play the only important role in the universe, or even in your own galaxy. In fact, on Earth alone there are at least four other councils much like your own, though you may not see be able to see them in your zone. All have the exact same mission: to secure, to contain, and to protect. And when the time comes, your councils may be able to meet and exchange information, to create a balanced and protected universe.

But since that day has not come yet, all you can know is that you report to me.

I have seen what happens when an entire species destroys itself out of fear of the unknown.

I will not let that happen again.

And neither will you.

Secure. Contain. Protect."

- OΩ


故事: 5700年后 (原发布讨论串已被删除)

1548 fled through the cosmos, fear coursing through its plasma. It had not even turned back once to observe what was following it, all it knew was the rage and hate it felt from the blue dot only grew and grew as the chase continued. Had the star stopped at all during its cowardly pursuance it might have reflected on the irony of its situation, but alas such a thing went unnoticed by the formerly Hateful Star. 1548穿越宇宙不断奔逃,它的恐惧从它的等离子体中渗出。它甚至没回头去确认过跟着它的到底是什么,它只知道从它身后的蓝点上感受到的愤怒与憎恨在这场追逐中随着时间推移不断的增长。憎恨之星丝毫不敢在它懦弱的逃跑过程中稍微停下来一会儿,这某种程度上反应了它讽刺的处境,但是很可惜,这样的事情未曾引起过去的憎恨之星的注意。

The star suddenly ground to a halt in terror as it approached what it only knew as The Dark Field. The star could feel the supermassive black holes each try to draw him in, the clusters of points of no return hungrily trying to devour him. Stuck between an unknown horror and the clawing void of a black hole, the star knew its only chance of escape was to try to fight its assailant.

1548 turned to face the blue dot that pursued it endlessly, and the fear it felt was compounded by a new sensation: confusion. As the dot came into focus, the star realized it was not dealing with another star, or any sort of cosmic being from beyond. Transparent and blue, the hunting orb drew closer to 1548, and the star realized that it was being chased by a ghostly vision of the blue planet the miserable humans called Earth.

The fear fell away and was quickly replaced with white-hot rage, fueled by humiliation and hatred. "ENOUGH! How dare you interrupt my vengeance, how dare you attempt to keep me away from my prize of destroying those pathetic apes!" 1548 pulsed angrily, the ghostly planet slowly approaching the star. "You are nothing I am to fear, and you have no power over me! I will destroy those disgusting humans, and there is not a thing you can do to stop me!"

The ghost of Earth said nothing as it moved closer and closer to 1548. The star remained motionless as the ghost got closer…closer…and passed straight through. The star laughed triumphantly. Of course this translucent thing couldn't hurt it, how foolish the star had been! It scanned the empty space in front of it, and saw the faintest traces of where the humans had been. Not much, but it was a start. 1548 focused its energies, and started to move towards that direction…

…and was unable to move. The star pulled angrily against the unknown force that was keeping it from moving, and turned to see what was happening. A thin spectral tendril that extended from the ghostly Earth was attached to the star's core, as the planet drifted into The Dark Field. The star burned with anger only momentarily as it realized it was moving backwards, being dragged by the planet into the field.

Fear, terror, horror, these words describe only the tiniest sliver of a fraction of what 1548 felt as it desperately tugged against the ghostly anchor that drew it closer and closer to the largest of the supermassive black holes. The ghostly planet sped up suddenly as the pull of the black hole dragged it into its core, and within moments the planet was no more. With the connection snapped from the extreme pressure of the black hole, 1548 tried to flee.

The star's struggles were in vain as it swirled around the core of the black hole, it's continuous flashes of "NO" and "HELP ME" being absorbed by the vacuum. If the star could scream, it would have shrieked in agony as it felt its body being torn apart by the infinite gravity of the black hole's core. Within minutes, every remnant of the Hateful Star was absorbed, and all that was left was the black hole, unknowing of the monster it had consumed.

Item #: SCP-3070

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Foundation assets within the International Astronomical Union and its Minor Planet Center are to monitor name choices for newly discovered minor planets. Changes to the names of any minor planet require Level 4/3070 authorization. Foundation orbital task forces and satellites will routinely monitor cataloged minor planets, though the existence of approximately 460,000 such objects prevents full monitoring.

All SCP-3070-A that manifest are to be retrieved by Orbital Task Force ञ-12 ("Little Princes"). Following analysis, objects may either be stored at Heliocentric Area-16 or destroyed following Level 4/3070 personnel review.

Description: SCP-3070 is a phenomenon affecting minor planets8 orbiting the sun that have been categorized by the International Astronomical Union's Minor Planet Center — primarily those designated with a number and a name. The phenomenon causes objects (designated SCP-3070-A) related to the minor planet's IAU designation to manifest either in orbit9 or on the surface of the body. This manifestation has never been directly observed. Instances of SCP-3070-A display various anomalous properties while on or orbiting the minor planet; these properties cease after relocation.

Currently 437 minor planets have been affected by SCP-3070. No minor planets have been affected twice.

Addendum.1 - Notable Incidents:

Minor Planet: 262419 Suzaka
3070-A Discovery Date: 15-September-2013

Description: 1:1000 scale limestone models of all buildings present in Suzaka, Japan were orbiting the asteroid in a single ring formation.

Minor Planet: 1981 Midas
3070-A Discovery Date: 29-October-2013

Description: 288 golden conical pillars (91cm long and 23mm wide at the base) were embedded on the asteroid's surface, forming 4 concentric dodecagons.

Minor Planet: 399979 Lewseaman
3070-A Discovery Date: 10-July-2013

Description: Three bronze cylinders (14m wide and 19cm wide) displaying the logo of General Electrics on each end were embedded on the minor planet's surface.

Minor Planet: 124192 Moletai
3070-A Discovery Date: 17-May-2014

Description: A 1:50 scale replica of the Molėtai Astronomical Observatory, made of the same materials as the asteroid, was following a rapidly changing elliptical orbit around the body. The SCP-3070-A instance collided with 124192 Moletai and was destroyed as recovery efforts began.

Minor Planet: 495827
3070-A Discovery Date: 4-December-2016

Description: 168 renditions of the number 495827 were inscribed on the astronomical body's surface, written in differing fonts and sizes.

Minor Planet: 882 Swetlana
3070-A Discovery Date: 9-December-2016

Description: Six 100m-tall and 2m-wide pillars of deceased Carcinoscorpius rotundicauda10 were connected to the asteroid. The legs of each cadaver were fused to those of the bodies around it.

Note: No explanation of 882 Swetlana's name is known.

Minor Planet: 54439 Topeka
3070-A Discovery Date: 12-December-2016

Description: 233,870 tendrils of assorted eye tissue, each of differing length (maximum of 24m), extended from asteroid. Genetic tests of a sample of the tendrils suggested that each one correlated to a resident of Topeka, Kansas during the time of the 2010 United States Census. All tendrils dissolved on 17-December-2016.

Minor Planet: 672 Astarte
3070-A Discovery Date: 21-December-2016

Description: 12 rings of a fluid composed of human egg cells, liquid carbon dioxide, and Panthera leo bleyenberghi11 blood were orbiting the minor planet. The fluids froze and dispersed after two days. Genetic analysis of the blood revealed the presence of chemicals similar to DNA, possessing six base pairs and three strands. The function of the chemicals (temporarily designated C-3070) is unknown.

Minor Planet: 1996 Adams
3070-A Discovery Date: 1-December-2017

Description: Twelve cadavers resembling John Couch Adams12 at the time of his death were found connected to the minor planet by 3m-long umbilical cords. Each was found wearing attire typical of the late 1800s. The cadavers and cords experienced the symptoms of space exposure when cut.

Minor Planet: 1991 Darwin
3070-A Discovery Date: 11-January-2018

Description: 24 Chelonoidis nigra abingdonii13 were observed to be alive and actively moving across the surface of the asteroid. Relocation resulted in death. Surgery performed on the cadavers revealed that each lacked internal organs and skeletal structure, and instead had a severed head resembling either Charles Darwin or George Darwin within the body, connected to the limbs and neck via bundles of nerve tissue extending from the neck. C-3070 was found within cadaver cells, having replaced all DNA.

Addendum.2 - SCP-3070-1: On 10-January-2018, janitorial staff working at the IAU headquarters in Paris, France, discovered an anomaly (designated SCP-3070-1) embedded in the walls of the building. SCP-3070-1 is a combination of metal tubes (some composed of exo-planetary metals), assorted human tissues from varying body parts, cybernetic organs, and devices resembling television antennae. Analysis of tissues found large quantities of C-3070, which have been observed to act as a DNA analogue, and human DNA matching all IAU members.

Several of SCP-3070-1's tubes are attached to a 2018 Macbook Pro laptop, which is partially connected to a column of white matter and cardiac muscle. The laptop is powered on at all times, and has full internet and IAU database access. On multiple occasions prior to the discovery of a new SCP-3070-A instance, text will appear on the laptop screen for varying periods of time. Below is a transcript of text displayed on 12-January-2018.

CPU: 99.7% | mEMORY: 0.5 YB | 4-Disc: 100% - 78 ZB/s
ⲊLШ: 100% | JLZ: 100% - 12 uS/m | conrolexpanse
claspstars ADAPT
netwoRk: 0% - 0.1 Mbps

As SCP-3070-1 extends through a majority of the building, the anomaly cannot be relocated without potential structural damage. Undercover agents have been assigned to monitor the anomaly and minimize civilian exposure to it. Full containment procedures are in development. Research by the Exobiology Department is underway.

Addendum.3 - Additional Incidents: Additional records on SCP-3070 incidents are available in Event Log 3070-ञ-12E.

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