The Foundation vs. Hell

AKA: "Moklin writes clickbait"
Based off of this forum post by RecursiveRecursion.

SCP-XXXX.

SCP-XXXX-A-1.

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class:

Special Containment Procedures:

Description: SCP-XXXX is a regeneratively immortal humanoid male with a weight of 100 kg and a height of 1.7 m. SCP-XXXX is responsible for the creation of two separate anomalous entities which bear physical similarities to entities of religious origin¹.

Sumerian-language documents related in their anomalous effects, designated SCP-XXXX-A-1 & SCP-XXXX-B-2 respectively. The anomalous properties of SCP-XXXX-A instances are currently undefined by the author of this page.

All inscribed sides of SCP-XXXX-B-2.

Lunar_eclipse_September_27_2015_greatest_Alfredo_Garcia_Jr.jpg

As-of-yet undetermined caption.

moklin	mainly i was gonna ask if a few concepts were good ideas, if that's ok
Kakroom	::thumbsup
moklin	first, where -A is the guy and -B and -C are the demons; "The foundation offered SCP-XXXX-C the soul of SCP-XXXX-A, and in exchange, offered SCP-XXXX-B the soul of a D-Class personnel of SCP-XXXX-B's choice. Result: Resolution denied by Ethics Committee, SCP-XXXX-B."
moklin	second, since actually solving the case would mean the demons are out of containment, the foundation tries to create an eternal custody case.
moklin	third, they /do/ solve the case, with split time per demon, but they have to torture the guy inside of foundation containment.
Kakroom	that's pretty good
Kakroom	why do the demons consent to the foundation's ruling?
ChanServ	Renasanse [moc.duolccri.notlrahc.F08EB3-CRInys\|063222diu#moc.duolccri.notlrahc.F08EB3-CRInys\|063222diu] has quit [Quit: Connection closed for inactivity]
moklin	well, the foundation's acting as a mediator/-A's lawyer in the case
moklin	also because they're kinda tired of bickering at this point
ChanServ	DarkStuff is now known as CleaningStuff
Kakroom	ahhh
Kakroom	that's good
Kakroom	so he pledged his soul to two demons of equal power
Kakroom	so they can't just duke it out, and hell's more physical than anything
Kakroom	so they decided to go through other channels
ChanServ	CleaningStuff is now known as ScrubbingStuff
moklin	the main issue i'm having is that i don't actually know how to present this
Kakroom	like tonally?
moklin	it wouldn't work as a test log, and i'm not great at dialog
Kakroom	you could do it like a news clipping
moklin	but this would be a scip?
Kakroom	'On the fourth day of deliberations Man Mcmanface took Demonmonger to the fourth statute of the fifth state of, resulting in…"
Kakroom	Like an appendum, summarizing each day of deliberations and how out-of-court interactons proceeded
Kakroom	it's cheap but, if you're better at clinical it might work
moklin	thanks, i'll snip this and try that
moklin	maybe mix in quotes n stuff
Kakroom	^
Kakroom	that's always a good tactic
Kakroom	good lines are always good, but in context you don't mean to create they can be bad
Kakroom	and with this you can mitigate that last part very easily
moklin	as an aside, what should i call this? I've got it under "Law & Order" right now, but "Lawyers from hell" would probably be better - or it could be overly silly.
Kakroom	some play on Kramer vs. Kramer
Kakroom	custody etc.
Kakroom	Hell vs. The District of Columbia
moklin	/nice/
ChanServ	Superblobby [moc.duolccri.etaghgih.1C14C46D-CRInys\|065952diu#moc.duolccri.etaghgih.1C14C46D-CRInys\|065952diu] has quit [Quit: Connection closed for inactivity]
moklin	wait no, "The Foundation vs. Hell" - they come for DOOM and stay for judge judy
Kakroom	hahahahahahah
Kakroom	HAHAHAHA
Kakroom	OH MY GOD
Kakroom	Yes
Kakroom	That's good.
Kakroom	OHHHH
Kakroom	No, that's, do that.
moklin	what were you gonna say?
Kakroom	Nothin! That's amazing. That's great
moklin	sweet! now to utterly ruin it.
Kakroom	Thanks for watching!!!!!
Kakroom	https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpvcjAhBabA
jarvis	kakroom: I Squeeze Gats - length 1m41s - 3160↑24↓ - 250,546 views - HassaniSabbahX on 2010-10-08

[20:47]		moklin pokes chat with a polished Polish pole
[20:47]	Kakroom	it'sa you
[20:47]	moklin	it'sa me
[20:47]	moklin	and i'm having trouble framing the foundation v hell
[20:48]	Kakroom	what's happenin there
[20:48]	moklin	because it can't be activated /by/ the contracts, because that's dumb and antithetical to the whole idea of an ongoing legal battle
[20:49]	moklin	basically: i can't have it be safe, because then it's not interesting, but i'm having trouble finding a good setting for this
[20:49]	Kakroom	b/c the contracts would just resolve the dispute by virtue of being contracts?
[20:50]	moklin	no, the idea i was having was that the contracts summoned the demons for whatever reason
[20:51]	moklin	the other idea was that this was just something that occasionally happens in Georgian courts
[20:52]	moklin	but if i do /that/, then i have the problem of phrasing it and working out how it manifests
[20:53]	moklin	how the contracts worm their way in, if the guy they're arguing over is there or not, etc
[20:54]	Kakroom	like you're working out the minutiae of the situation
[20:54]	moklin	yeah, but it's way more important than that
[20:54]	moklin	it's the setting, and if i don't have a solid setting i can't really develop it more
[20:54]	Kakroom	i mean it's a promise to a demon, it doesn't have to go much deeper than 'you make me head of the state department, i serve you for all eternity,' etc.
[20:55]	moklin	well not really, i'm not working out what the guy sold his soul for, i'm working out how the demons are going about the custody battle
[20:56]	Kakroom	like if they're there
[20:56]	Kakroom	or not just working through representatives
[20:57]	moklin	yeah, like that
[20:57]	moklin	but also how that manifests and why
[20:57]	moklin	and how the contracts factor into that equation
[20:57]	Kakroom	what do you mean by manifests/whyt
[20:57]	moklin	how the court cases start
[20:58]	moklin	the why bit was prolly unnecessary
[20:58]	Kakroom	like if poof they're in or if they're there talking shit over with their lawyers in a suit or whatever and the judge bangs his gavel 'the foundation for containment of the paranormal versus the fifth kingdom of hell'
[20:59]	moklin	yeah exactly
[20:59]	Kakroom	okay i think i see the problem
[20:59]	Kakroom	how did you want to characterize the demons
[20:59]	moklin	er, it's not exactly the foundation v hell
[20:59]	Kakroom	gonzo or serious
[20:59]	Kakroom	just placeholder
[20:59]	moklin	it's hell v hell, with the foundation in the middle
[21:00]	moklin	i don't honestly know how i want to characterize the demons, cause it's easy to make them gonzo, but at the same time, that feels cheap
[21:01]	Kakroom	it does
[21:02]	Kakroom	you're undercutting the concept, which is two demons locked in a legal battle
[21:02]	Kakroom	not two guys with horns who occasionally make cultural references to hell
[21:03]	moklin	tbf they don't have horns
[21:03]	moklin	it's more like a dude with three heads vs a guy on a horse
[21:03]	Kakroom	what'd you want the tone overall to be, regardless of those two characters
[21:04]	moklin	i honestly don't know
[21:04]	moklin	which i get is the problem
[21:04]	Kakroom	ah
[21:05]	Kakroom	i think that's something you'd need to decide on before going further into how they enter and how you want to construct the battle itself and such
[21:05]	Kakroom	to ensure that all those elements remain consistent with whatever themes you want to set up, colored by
[21:05]	Kakroom	the tone, i guess.
[21:05]	moklin	yeah, i suppose so
[21:05]	moklin	thanks for your time
[21:05]	Kakroom	but that's something to brainstorm, and this is that
[21:06]	Kakroom	like all we have to do is shift gears
[21:06]	Kakroom	unless you have other shit to do
[21:06]	moklin	nah i'm free
[21:06]	moklin	it's 21:00 here
[21:09]	Kakroom	like, the way i see it you have two completely separate caches to mine: one, from a serious perspective of, the foundation finding ways to communicate with the demons and working out demands, maybe through possessed d-class or something, while working through the ethical dilemma of what to dooo with the guy, seeing as how he was the one who initiated this entire clusterfuck, and how his thoughts and ideas factor into the equation, no
[21:09]	Kakroom	orrrrrrr
[21:10]	Kakroom	you have the comedic route, which i think is more true to the original spirit of the suggestion, where instead everything is established as being somewhat lighthearted, and you explore those themes through the context of how absurd the situation is. very dr. strangelove 'nightmare comedy'
[21:10]	Kakroom	the specifics of which are harder to determine because it's harder to do that without making it, cheap. because i suck at comedy.
[21:12]	moklin	sorry, i was dealing with something
[21:13]	moklin	i guess i'll try nightmare comedy, take a look at those kinds of movies, etc
[21:13]	Kakroom	maybe you have the demons work with counsel to form a case based on the specifics of their really vague agreements with the victim, hashing out the wording and the context of the agreements, or maybe the demons attempt to understand why and how humans developed this system of law and due process, when all the effort could just as easily be resolved as a prison sentence or death
[21:14]	moklin	that's a lot better than what i was gonna do, thanks!
[21:14]	Kakroom	i do nothing, i just hope this helps
[21:15]	moklin	it does, thanks
[21:15]	moklin	and give yourself more credit mate, you're doing a lot for me here
[21:17]	Kakroom	and then when you're going back into how having a soul affects your position in the conversation, maybe you tie that in to the whole kramer vs kramer thing - where the two demons ask him who he wants to go with and what they'll let him do if he goes with them and since he doesn't have the agency to decide, it's like a constant series of one-upmanship attempts recorded by the foundation - because, you know, they're the foundation. they
[21:19]	Kakroom	dr strangelove is good to look at regardless of which path you choose; even if you don't find it very funny it's a veeery good movie about deterrence culture
[21:20]	moklin	will do

Recursive	Oh hey moklin! I saw that you picked up my idea in the forums!
moklin	yeah
Recursive	niec
Recursive	*nice even
moklin	i've kinda put it aside atm, on account of me being a crap author
Recursive	Aw. Just let me know if you have any questions on how I originally envisioned it or anything, I think it's cool that you picked it up
moklin	well, were you imagining it as more humorous or more based on the foundation actually trying to resolve this case in a way that benefits them?
Recursive	Both, actually.
Recursive	But leaning more towards the humorous
Recursive	(not that it would be non-stop jokes, just that the circumstances would be kind of too absurd to take seriously)
moklin	okay, because my issue with writing it is that I'm crap with dialog, and courtroom stuff is like 95% talking.
Recursive	Hm. Maybe you could avoid that by having a log of legal-ese documents that were proposed by the Foundation to the demons? And a note afterwards in Standard Foundation-ese detailing what the response was
moklin	i'm 17 i don't know lawyer talk
	Recursive shroog bc he doesn't either
ChanServ	Levi is now known as AwayLevi
moklin	I could do a kind of news-story summary of each day, but I was worrying that it would make it too dry/boring to read
Recursive	Hm. That's another avenue. Like an anomalous news source, or?
Recursive	Heh, there should totally be an ANN
moklin	more the foundation's summary, but Hell News Network could be good
moklin	also, ANN? What does that stand for
Recursive	Anomalous News Network
Recursive	Twas a jook
moklin	ah, okay. Maybe I could shop some news screenshots to look fucked up and anomalous - like there's an anchor that's just a dead pixel on the screen or something
FuelTank	something like this maybe?
Recursive	Lol maybe. If all else fails, you could collab with someone who's good at dialogue
FuelTank	http://gunshowcomic.com/429
Recursive	Heck, I consider myself to be somewhat good at dialogue, but I don't want to toot my own horn
moklin	FuelTank: heh, yeah kinda
FuelTank	dark sexy
moklin	well, not to toot my own horn or anything, but I've got a 0% completion rate on my collabs
Recursive	:< das bad
moklin	yeah, i'm not a fast writer
moklin	I've got some stuff down already, but admittedly not much - it's mostly the title: "The Foundation vs. Hell
moklin	"
Recursive	That's pretty good
moklin	yeah, but that's unfortunately all that's good atm. I've honestly got nothing
Recursive	well good luck regardless
moklin	thanks
Recursive	moklin: I peeked at your sand, saw you were having trouble with how it gets activated. My original concept was there was a set date the demons wanted to collect for occult reasons (i.e. it being a blood moon or something), so they both try to show up on the eve of a blood moon, and the guy is just like 'oh, shit'
moklin	yeah that's a fuckton better than my idea
moklin	thanks for being a better writer than me ;v
Recursive	No probleemoo ;o
Recursive	My idea was that the contracts would be just normal contracts, it's the demons behind them that have da powah

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