Don't think you can get away with this.
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Special Containment Procedures
Foundation bot: "Ramen Raider" is to scan all electronic book websites for any monographs or novels that meet the "SCP-XXXX Instance Criteria"."Ramen Raider" must search for any electronic books with the phrase "Mr. Noodles" in the title or that have "Mr. Noodles" listed as the author. "SCP-XXXX Instance Criteria" is to be updated with new keywords and phrases every 2 months.
If any monograph or novel is found that fits the "SCP-XXXX Instance Criteria"; "Ramen Raider" will commence deletion of Instance, and tracking IP addresses to ascertain the location of the individual who posted the electronic book. Once the poster's location is ascertained procedure "14-Rigatoni Recapture" is to be put into effect, where mobile task force Delta-15 (Pasta Punchers) are deployed to the location. MTF Delta-15 will secure any persons at the location, administer Class-C amnestics to individuals, and wipe all data from the electronics in the area. MTF Delta-15 will also track any individuals who may have been in contact with prior subjects. Any individuals meeting these criteria are to be detained, Interviewed, and amnesticized.
Any large congregations of affected Individuals must be disbanded, and all involved individual detained by foundation Swat teams. Detained individuals are to be given the same treatment as standard affected Individuals. Treatment of affected Individuals must be done in succession to verify the application of this treatment
Interactions with detained affected individuals are prohibited. Any personnel who wish to circumvent this will operate under the stipulation of being amnesticized, once the interaction is complete. There are to be no exceptions to this rule.
Description
SCP-XXXX is a digital monograph commonly listed under the biography, philosophy, and non-fiction genres. The title, and author moniker of SCP-XXXX changes from Instance to Instance, but certain keywords, and phrases remain present (see Document 15-XXXX for more info). Scanning of SCP-XXXX Instances shows that Narrative consistency between them is 100%.
Any Individual who begins reading SCP-XXXX will compulsively continue, until completion of SCP-XXXX.1 Reading time of SCP-XXXX is absurdly fast given its length of 141,665 words with an average time of 10 minutes.2 Once subjects complete reading SCP-XXXX they will begin preparing a "Vendetta-4 event," in which they attack the last person to upset, or harm them. Attacks from individuals affected by SCP-XXXX are far more extreme than the way that individuals were originally wronged. These attacks are often described as cruel and unusual, but methods used in the assaults are often related, or connected to the last interaction with the targeted individual.
Interviews with affected subjects, after a successful "Vendetta-4 event" all share similar characteristics. Subjects when questioned about their actions will refer to them with pride,often quoting Poi-1318 (Mr.Noodles). During interviews affected individuals will repeatedly suggest the interviewer read SCP-XXXX, even going as far as attempting to show the interviewer SCP-XXXX using any on hand devices (Affected Individual seem to always have a copy of SCP-XXXX accessible). It is presumed that all subjects affected by SCP-XXXX display this behavior. Class-C amnestics are effective in removing all effects of SCP-XXXX.
It is very likely for affected Individuals to form large groups, and congregations with one another. Congregations of affected individuals all share a common purpose; the spread of SCP-XXXX awareness Coordination within these groups is extremely high, and don't seem to have any administration. The capture of these groups are to be done swiftly with high priority.
You will never find him.
Document XXXX-15
The following is a documented record of all SCP-XXXX instance titles and authors.3
- Instance-XXXX-1: "Mr.Noodles' Thirst for Revenge"-by Mr.Noodles
- Instance-XXXX-2: "Mr.Noodles' Moral Genius"-by Mr.Noodles
- Instance-XXXX-3: "Mr.Noodles-12 Steps to Being Right"-by Mr.Noodles
- Instance-XXXX-4: "Mr.Noodles Discovers how good Revenge feels"-by Mr.Noodles
- Instance-XXXX-5: "How Noodles came to be"-by Big Noodle4
- Instance-XXXX-6: "Top Ten Methods for Revenge"-by Big Noodle
- Instance-XXXX-7: "Mr. Noodles is Revenge Personified"-by Noodle Wheelie
- Instance-XXXX-8: "Revenge is a dish best Served with Thermo-nuclear Devices"-by Mr.Noodles
- Instance-XXXX-9: "How to properly take your Revenge in Genius fashion"-by Big Noodle
- Instance-XXXX-10: "Mr.Noodles' genius plan"-by Big Noodle
- Instance-XXXX-11: "Why you don't Need to be Afraid of Vengeance"-by Noodle Wheelie
- Instance-XXXX-12: "Mr.Noodles always gets Even"-by The Respectable man of Vengeance
- Instance-XXXX-13: "Mr.Noodles, and the Quest for Vengeance"-by Mr.Noodles
- Instance-XXXX-14: "Quickest, and most effective Method for Vengeance"-by Doodle Noodle
- Instance-XXXX-15: "Why Getting Even is so Important"-by The Respectable man of Vengeance
- Instance-XXXX-16: "Mr.Noodles main Methods"-by Big Noodle
- Instance-XXXX-17: "Ten Revenge Tips that Work"-by Mr.Noodles
- Instance-XXXX-18: "Mr.Noodles Tips for Happiness"-by Big Noodle
- Instance-XXXX-19: "Revenge in a Nutshell"-by The Respectable man of Vengeance
Due to Instance-XXXX-5 causing over ██ Individuals to become affected, and the deaths of over ██ civilians; Keywords and phrases for SCP-XXXX Instances are to be updated every 2 months. Due to SCP-XXXX's narrative consistency, the "SCP-XXXX Instance Criteria" has been updated to complete narrative scans, alongside existing criteria.
Testing log
Test-XXXX-1
Order from Site Director: All D-class personnel involved in testing are to be implanted with a standard Foundation tracking chip, and released from custody. They are to be given Class-F amnestics and reintegrated into society5. The subject will be exposed to SCP-XXXX remotely. Once testing has ended, D-class subjects are to be Detained, Interviewed, and amnesticized, and all damages are to be covered by the Foundation. They will then be readmitted as D-class personnel. These stipulations are to help understand the potential of "Vendetta-4 events", as subjects must have all freedoms, and rights intact to determine the scope of SCP-XXXX's anomalous abilities.
Subject: D-56747
Procedure: D-56747 was dispatched to a Foundation owned house in ██████, New Mexico. He was given a job at ███ Industries, as a standard telemarketer. 1 month elapsed to allow D-56747 to acclimate to his new surrounding. D-56747 was exposed to SCP-XXXX through a remote override of his home PC.
Results:Exactly one week later The Foundation intercepted a Police report from D-56747's co-worker Jules Martins that D-56747 had repossessed her house and car, seduced, and fraternized with her husband. Interviews with Jules Martins revealed that her last interaction with D-56747, before the "Vendetta-4 event" was her apologizing to him for eating his pudding cup. D-56747 was detained, and all properties were returned to Jules Martins. All involved Individuals have been amnesticized.
Conclusion:Due to D-56747's activities, before his "Vendetta-4 Event" being improperly monitored, at least ██ other "Vendetta-4 Events" were completed, and ██ newly affected Individuals were discovered and detained. Subjects' actions are now to be fully monitored Until properly detained, and amnesticized.
Test-XXXX-2
Subject: D-59985
Procedure: The subject was relocated to an unowned apartment in █████, New Jersey. D-59985 was given a job at ██████, as a Customer Service Representative. A 2 month acclimation period was given to D-59985, before being remotely exposed to SCP-XXXX. MTF Delta-15 was tasked with surveillance of D-59985, until the time of her "Vendetta-4 event."
Results:D-59985 was observed attempting to buy military-grade explosives from several different sources. A review of her search history revealed that she was attempting to ascertain the location of civilian Curt Johnson; a former employee of IBM, and the creator of the game Minesweeper.
D-59985 was seen loading successfully obtained explosives into her car. Computer logs also indicated that she had obtained the location of Curt Johnson's residents. D-59985 was detained before she could perform any "Vendetta-4 event." When questioned about her motives she replied, "I lost a game of mine sweeper, and that bastard needs to know how it feels."
Conclusion:The explosives were confiscated by Foundation staff, and D-59985 was given Class-C amnestics. It was also observed that 87% of D-59985's verbal altercation revolved around SCP-XXXX. Exactly ██ affected individuals were detained and amnestisized due to this factor.
Interview log
Interview-XXXX-1
Interviewed: Jacob Phillips
Interviewer: Dr.Kilpatrick
Security detail: Agent Hollis
The following is a debriefing of affected individual Jacob Phillips, who was detained after his "Vendetta-4 event"
<Begin Log>
Dr.Kilpatrick: Hello Mr- (pauses)
Dr.Kilpatrick looks down at his clipboard
Jake Phillips: Jake Phillips.
Dr.Kilpatrick: ah yes. how are you, Mr.Phillips?
There is a long pause of silence
Jake Phillips: What's with the security.
Motions to Agent Hollis in the far corner of the chamber
Jake Phillips: You don't trust me, or something. Think that I might make a move.
Dr.Kilpatrick: Oh, don't worry about that. It's just a formality.
Phillips scoffs
Dr.Kilpatrick: Now then, how are doing Mr.Phillips.
Jake Phillips: I'm fine.
Phillips put his feet on the Interview table and looked away seemingly uninterested.
Dr.Kilpatrick:(pauses) I would like to talk to you about your actions on February 20th ████.
Phillips sits up visibly excited.
Jake Phillips: Ho Ho now we're talking.
Dr.Kilpatrick: Can you tell me why you killed Mrs.██████?
Jake Phillips: heh, get this that fat bitch thought she could get away with stepping on my dog.
Dr.Kilpatrick: And, you think that was an adequate reason to buy leather platform boots, and (checks notes) curb stomp her?
Jacob Phillips: Of course, It's Fuckin brilliant right.
Dr.Kilpatrick: Did you have any(pauses) inspirations for doing this?
Jacob Phillips: have you ever read that book called "Mr.Noodles' genius plan".
Dr.Kilpatrick: Ah yes. I love that book. (common lie used to circumvent violence in affected individuals)
Jacob Phillips: Ya it's great.
Dr.Kilpatrick: All right, can yo-
Dr.Kilpatrick's phone begins ringing., and he pulls it out.
Dr.Kilpatrick:(under his breath) Shit it's the Site director. Agent Hollis, I need to take this you stay here to keep an eye on Mr.Phillips.
Agent Hollis: Yes sir.
Dr.Kilpatrick hurries towards the door.
Jacob Phillips: Hey doc!
Dr.Kilpatrick turns his head.
Jacob Phillips: You might wanna pause the recording, so it isn't just silent for a long time.
Dr.Kilpatrick: Ah, thank you.
[RECORDING PAUSED]
Dr.Kilpatrick exits the room for approximately 7 minutes before returning.
[RECORDING RESUMED]
Dr.Kilpatrick: Sorry for the wait, now where was I.
Jacob Pillips: I think you were about to end the Interview.
Dr.Kilpatrick: No, I was going to-
Agent Hollis: You were about to end the Interview, Dr.Kilpatrick.
Dr.Kilpatrick turns to look at Agent Hollis, and then turns back to Jacob Phillips.
Dr.Kilpatrick:(pauses) Ah, I see… Thank you for the reminder, Agent Hollis.
<End Log>
Closing Statement: Jacob Philips was given Class C amnestics, and released back into the public.
Due to its high costs, and significant risk to the Foundation's veil of secrecy testing of SCP-XXXX has been indefinitely suspended.-05-5
Addendum-XXXX-1
Approximately three months after Interview-XXXX-1 Agent Hollis arrived at the house of Dr.Kilpatrick, and began a "Vendetta-4 event". The details of the event have been removed per Dr.KilPatrick's request, but the post event records have been included.
Foundation Agents were deployed to Dr.Kilpatrick's house, due to police reports of "unholy screaming." Foundation Task Force recovered the body of Agent Hollis. Blood splatter analysis revealed that Agent Hollis committed suicide; due to the nature of previously affected Individuals it is assumed the suicide was a factor of his "Vendetta-4 event". Foundation Task Force also recovered Dr.Kilpatrick alive, handcuffed to a bed with several major injuries.
His plan wasn't to kill me. It was to humiliate me.
After several failed suicide attempts from Dr.Kilpatrick, he was given full psychiatric treatment. Any Survivors of "Vendetta-4 events" are now to be given the same treatment, or given Class-C amnestics. Dr.Kilparick made a full recovery and was readmitted to site staff.
It is currently theorized that Agent Hollis viewed SCP-XXXX during the Intermission of Interview-XXXX-1.
Request log
The following is a record of all requests involving SCP-XXXX
Request from Dr.Kilpatrick to implement narrative scanning into the "SCP-XXXX Instance Criteria".
Request Granted
Request from Dr.Kilpatrick to remove Title scanning from the "SCP-XXXX Instance Criteria".
Request pending approval
Request from Dr.Kilpatrick that target Individuals be offered Class-C amnestics, after a successful "Vendetta-4 Event".
Request Granted
Request from Dr.Kilpatrick that he be terminated.
Request Denied6
Request from Dr.Kilpatrick to have the events of Addendum-XXXX-1 be removed fro his privacy.
Request Granted
Request from Dr.Kilpatrick that affected Individuals be terminated through Incineration, as opposed to being amnesticized.
Request Denied
Request from Dr.Kilpatrick for more Interviews with affected Individuals.
Request Denied
Request from Dr.Kilpatrick for high grade ballistic weaponry.
Request Denied
Request from Dr.Kilpatrick for a transcribed copy of SCP-XXXX.
Request Denied
I must take the next step forward.
[Dr. Kilpatrick was reported missing on 05/04/████.]
[Investigations into his whereabouts are underway.]
Document XXXX-Kilpatrick
The following is a letter left by Dr.Kilpatrick, before his disappearance.
Dear my sweet simple Foundation.
I am leaving you, hopefully for good (but we both know the lengths you are willing to go). I no longer have a purpose here so I am taking my leave, but don't worry I won't leave you empty handed. You still want to know who Mr.Noodles is don't you? Then consider this a info a trade for this brilliant mind I have taken from you.
Who is Mr.Noodles? I am Mr.Noodles. Everyone who has read my book is Mr.Noodles. I am them, and they are me. I have all their memories, and they have all of mine. They are still alive, they just have me in place of them. That is my books true purpose. To spread my consciousness. The vengeance is just a by product. Think of it like a bonding agent.
Aw ,what the did that give you more questions than answers? Do you want more info? good.
Note from Senior Director Matthews
To all those out there who don't see why SCP-XXXX is Keter, or to those who think that it should be fine for you to test SCP-XXXX. Understand this, SCP-XXXX is more than just a powerful text; it's a virus. Anyone who reads SCP-XXX will attack someone, then they will try to show others SCP-XXXX, and all they need to read is one word, and now they are infected with… him. Then they will show other people, those people will show more people, and so on until we have a worldwide massacre on our hands. We have enough trouble locating the Damned book, we don't need any hot shots wasting foundation resources testing it, and potentially spreading it, spreading him. While Class-C amnestics are effective in the cure of SCP-XXXX's symptoms, we cannot risk an outbreak. If you still have complaints about this then you will be presumed comprised. We cannot risk the spread of such a phenomenon, after all, you don't always know if you've upset someone.
Current number of affected Individuals unaccounted for: ██████