MrMika from BPS

SCP-REDACTED-J

Item #: SCP-[REDACTED]-J

Object Class: [DATA EXPUNGED]

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-[REDACTED]-J is to be contained within a 5x5x5 meter storage container at Site-[REDACTED]. Whilst entering the container, no fewer than [DATA EXPUNGED] personnel may enter the container at a time. [REDACTED] must [DATA EXPUNGED] the object at all times with an exception of the event of a [DATA EXPUNGED].

Description: SCP-[REDACTED]-J takes the form of any [REDACTED] it [REDACTED]. This means that SCP-[REDACTED]-J is indeed cognitohazardous. When this process occurs, [DATA EXPUNGED] will [REDACTED] and [DATA EXPUNGED] the subject's [DATA EXPUNGED]. Any subject [REDACTED] by SCP-[REDACTED]-J will now be classified as a separate entity known as SCP-[REDACTED]-1-J. SCP-[REDACTED]-1-J should be dealt with my Mobile Task Force Unit Eta-10 designated "See No Evil." In the event that SCP-[REDACTED]-J breaches containment and effects [DATA EXPUUNGED] staff personnel, it is to be automatically declared as an XK-Class-end-of-the-world scenario. If this event were ever to occur, remember this: don't [REDACTED] to [DATA EXPUNGED]. They're not who you think they are.

Addendum: Who the fuck wrote this report? Can we terminate him? I really wanna terminate him.
-Researcher Mika

Addendum 2: Granted. -O5-██

SCP-5432

Object #: SCP-5432

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5432 is to be contained in a standard humanoid containment cell at Site-██. SCP-5432 is to be fed five (5) times a day depending on the time of day. SCP-5432 is allowed to be walked to the cafeteria to pick out his own breakfast, lunch, and dinner with a few limits for dietary purposes. SCP-5432 is to be granted two (2) snacks per day consisting of Goldfish crackers. These are to be handed out once in the mid to late afternoon and once during the evening. If SCP-5432 announces that he is bored and needs something to do, Level II personnel and above are allowed to play games such as hide and seek and board games such as Sorry! with SCP-5432.

Description: SCP-5432 is a five (5)-year-old caucasian male who acts just like a normal toddler of his age. However, SCP-5432 has many minor speech impediments from not being able to pronounce his R's to a lisp. Various personnel find this to be "very cute." The anomalous effects of SCP-5432 are that when interacting with SCP-5432 for an average of one (1) hour, the subject will begin to develop the same speech impediments as SCP-5432. These effects immediately stop once the subject has left the range of fifty (50) meters away from SCP-5432. If exposed to SCP-5432 for extended amounts of time, the range will increase before the speech impediments wear off. If exposed to SCP-5432 for many days, the anomalous effects of SCP-5432 will become permanent. In addition, they will also be granted the ability to understand SCP-5432 as if it were a fellow researcher speaking fluent English. These effects appear to have no effect on work morale or efficiency. SCP-5432 was found when a concerned member of a family called a psychiatric hospital to report that their daughter and her family had all developed minor speech impediments and it was hard to understand them. When the family was asked to meet a doctor and arrived, the doctor could barely understand them. This is when Foundation agents were brought in to investigate further.¹

Addendum: These effects do not persist through writing.

SCP-smthn-idk

Object #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be contained in a specially built Class B suite that has an electromagnetic field to block the manifesting and demanifesting of SCP-XXXX. If any power outage or malfunction causing the electromagnetic field to cease function occurs, Mobile Task Force Mu-13 designated "Ghostbusters" is to track SCP-XXXX wherever she may manifest. All communications should be open at all times and all personnel should report sightings immediately. Three times a week, a therapist is to enter the suite and talk to SCP-XXXX to help improve the mental condition of SCP-XXXX.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a 15-year-old white Russian female who, at random intervals, will manifest and demanifest against her will. The radius of the location that SCP-XXXX may manifest is 5 metric kilometers. These events induce great psychological trauma in SCP-XXXX which, over time, has given the Medical Department enough information to diagnose her with clinical depression. SCP-XXXX was recovered on ██/██/██ when she materialized inside of O5-█'s personal office at Site-██.² After this event, it is reported that she burst through the office door and wandered her way into the Class D cafeteria before security could subdue her and contain her in a normal suite. During a containment breach of SCP-106, SCP-XXXX manifested in the electromagnetic field of SCP-106's containment chamber. Surveillance picked this up and it was noted that whilst SCP-106 was being contained, SCP-XXXX never demanifested. From then on, SCP-XXXX was given an electromagnetic field in her suite.

SCP-lololololo

Object #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be contained in a 3x3x3 ft lockbox at Site-21. Personnel with level three (3) and above clearance level may have unrestricted access to SCP-XXXX. If an object that could be used for mass destruction were to be pulled from SCP-XXXX, it is to be immediately incinerated. If an item is pulled that is indestructible, it is to be contained in a separate lockbox located in the same room as SCP-XXXX.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a 2x2x2 ft cardboard box that appears to be bottomless and reads "BE PREPARED" on the front of the box. If a subject puts their hand into SCP-XXXX, their hand will leave the box with an item that will help them be prepared for an event that will happen to them in the future. These events range from life-threatening to mildly interesting. If an object is bigger than the opening of SCP-XXXX, the opening will shift its size to meet the requirements. The box was found in a Presbyterian church storage room that used to be used as a Boy Scouts of America meeting place in 1998. It was found when a janitor went to the room to clean and found the box. It appeared to be endless, so out of curiosity the janitor stuck his hand in and pulled out a standard military-grade M9 handgun. Later that night a criminal attempted to mug him. He was able to defend himself with the gun pulled from SCP-XXXX. The next morning he contacted the Federal Bureau of Investigation and it was handed to the Foundation for containment.

SCP-newidea

test

Footnotes

1. Agents required to take the youngest child for research purposes, so they applied class five (5) heavy amnestics to each member of the family. Ethics Committee approval pending.

2. During the event, O5-█ spilled an entire cup of hot, black and strong coffee all over their lap. They then screamed like a little girl both from the surprise and from the boiling hot inferno upon their nether regions.