My2CentsIF

Item #: SCP-5000-J

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: At this time, SCP-5000-J is to be kept at Site-17 in a standard humanoid containment cell. To avoid the anomalous effects of SCP-5000-J, female personnel are only to interact with the entity during testing.

Containment Procedure Update: As of May ████, 20██, SCP-5000-J's penis pump has been confiscated until the entity learns that sexual innuendos will not be tolerated while in containment.

Description: SCP-5000-J appears to be a 25 year-old male of British descent by the name of “Austin Powers”. SCP-5000-J has not visibly aged in the ██ years since initial containment. Human females in extended exposure with SCP-5000-J will begin to have