Nerdibbles

Worm Oil

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: Foundation agents in medical institutions across the world are to monitor and report for new staff with names similar to "Walter Bede", "Wallace Bede", "Walter Benz", ect. If found, attempts to apprehend SCP-XXXX are to be made Civilians affected by SCP-XXXX-A are to be treated and then administered Class B amnestics, along with any remaining evidence being removed of SCP-XXXX-A's affects.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a humanoid figure typically found posing as a medical professional within a medical institution. All attempts by the Foundation to apprehend and contain SCP-XXXX have resulted in failure due to its ability to teleport to another place on Earth when caught. Whenever SCP-XXXX reappears in a different medical institution, it will take on a new name, all of which are similar to the names listed in the Special Containment Procedures. When SCP-XXXX teleports, its clothes are left behind, as well as a large mass of living Lumbricus terrestris1.

While able to work as a medical professional, SCP-XXXX will prescribe its patients SCP-XXXX-A; this is an unknown drug that has been found to come in multiple forms including pill, nasal spray and skin cream. The effects of SCP-XXXX-A cause worm-like or worm-shaped body parts to become living Lumbricus terrestris samples of varying size, including sizes that aren't naturally possible for the worm to live. These worms will then attempt to leave the body by available means. Examples of results of taking SCP-XXXX-A include:

  • The optical nerve becoming a worm, which then burrowed between the eye and the socket to leave the body
  • The Achilles Tendon becoming a worm, which causes loss of movement in the affected leg. After 2 days the worm was successfully able to leave through the foot
  • A vein in the wrist becoming a worm, which then burrowed out of the wrist
  • The urethra forming into a worm, which then left the body via the urinary tract
  • The cilia hairs in the throat forming thousands of smaller worms which eventually triggered the gag reflex, causing the patient to vomit the thousands of worms

Grandma's Cookies

"Audio Log of Ashley May, 12th of April 2020"

"The higher-ups have finally given me my chance and now I'm in charge of researching one of their new voodoo contrap- uh… 'anomalous items'."

"What they've told me in short is that it's some oven that has cookies appear in it whenever they bring a glass of milk into the room. Why the fuck did they bring in a glass of milk in the first place?. Anyways uh… yeah after that if you dunk the cookies in the milk- again why was that their first instinct with all the health and safety we gotta go through here? Sorry, I'm getting side-tracked. But yeah if you eat some milk-dunked cookies you fall asleep a little while after and you wake up in a dream. There's just some old lady there who we don't think is a threat… hopefully. They say that stuff we hold when we sleep comes with us into the dream so a notepad should do for taking research notes while people are in there"

"I was fine with all of the wacky shit going on here but of course they had to give me fucking Jameson as my agent to send into the dreams. I feel bad for that poor old lady, she's gonna be dealing with his whiney ass for God knows how long now"

…

Todd Jameson looked his new boss in the eyes and then down at the glass of milk she told him to carry into the room.

"Let me get this again, its just some old fuckin' granny?"

"Yes, Todd. Its an old granny"

"I've spent sixteen years working as an agent for this damn Foundation." He mumbled. "I've seen portals to another world, tools which a single man could use to destroy a city in minutes, monsters I thought could only exist in nightmares. When they told me I was gettin' moved I thought it was gonna be something which puts that experience to the fucking test." He said louder and angrier. "Then they bring me here where my job is nothing more than eating cookies and drinkin' damn milk."

Ashley sighed to herself, but didn't respond in any way about how she'd been vying for this position for many, many years too. She knew that Todd would just be an ass no matter what she said.

"Just do as I've said, site command wants some notes from you looked over and filed by the end of the day and I'm really not looking to piss them off on my first day."

Todd let out a grunt, but still turned the handle and walked into the room. Straight away an oven lit up and let out a sharp ping. Todd closed the door behind him. Looking around in what was quite frankly a pretty claustrophobic room, there was an oven with a notepad, a pencil and oven mitts on top. To his right was a bed that made him envy the D-class holding cells. That shit's gonna feel like a rock to sleep on, I can just tell. There was no point in wasting time, so despite it making him look like a 50s housewife, he put on the mitts and pulled out a tray of cookies from the oven. A wave of heat threw itself onto him as he brought the tray from the fiery maw to the top of the oven. He closed the door and the oven turned off. Whoever this old bag was, they at least had the courtesy to put actual chocolate chips into their cookies rather than raisins.

"Here goes nothing" Todd groaned aloud.

He submerged the cookie halfway into the milk. No time was wasted and a bite was taken moments after. The cookie was soft but just a tiny bit chewy, the perfect warmth that allowed the chocolate chips to melt in the mouth and form small cocoa craters for the taste buds to revel in. The milk helped to counter any bitterness that the chocolate could give, and moistened the cookie to make the mouth feel like its in heaven for just those few seconds. They're alright I guess, he thought. For the next minute or so, Todd kept looking down at his watch… just waiting… and waiting… for the tiredness to kick in. Impatiently, he decided to go lay on the bed in the hopes that it would speed things up. Fuck… it did feel like a rock. Todd closed his eyes, and tried his best to get through this bullshit.

No use! He opened his eyes again and went to go tell Ashley that 'her cookies didn't do jack shit'. But very faintly he could hear something. Someone was humming. It definitely wasn't Ashley, her voice was way more squeaky and obnoxious than this voice. Wait a sec. This is the dream… isn't it?. At the oven, holding the tray Todd had just eaten from, was the "old granny" he was meant to talk to.

"Oh hello dearie!" She said turning around to face Todd sitting up on the bed. "Two visitors in the same week, I must be famous!"

"Uh huh. Listen can I just ask you some questions so I can call it a day?" Todd sighed impatiently.

"Oh yes of course go ahead sweetie. Cookie?" She offered, holding the tray to him.

"No thanks, I uh- don't like cookies all that much."

"Are you sure? I've never heard of someone who would turn down a cookie."

"Really, I'll pass."

"If you insist. I'll leave the tray here in case you change your mind, eh?" She puts the tray back onto the oven.

"Firstly- lets see here… uh." Todd skimmed through the things Ashley wanted him to find out. "Can I get your name?"

"It's Doris, Doris Gardener. But please, call me Nana." She smiled. "And you are?"

"Todd. Todd Jameson". "Well… Nana" He said reluctantly, "what year were you born?"

"Ooo let's see here. A long time ago I can tell you that." She laughed to herself. "Ninteen- uh… forty three? Yeah that's it!"

Todd jotted down the year and read the next question. "If you're able to remember, how did you end up being in this.. how do i put it? Dream? And how did you end up connected with this oven?"

Nana looked down solemnly with a distant stare in her eyes. "I'm not sure when I stopped being real, I stopped keeping track of time many years ago. Before I ended up like this, I remember that my grandson, Roy would love to visit me all the time. He loved those cookies and always had them with a nice glass of milk. I baked them for him every time. After a while though-". Nana stopped and took a deep breath. Todd raised an eyebrow but kept listening. "After a while he just… stopped coming." There was now a thin coating of water on her eyes, glistening with the light hanging from the ceiling. "I don't know if it was something I did. Or if maybe he just got bored of me. After that though, I was alone. So… so long I was alone."

Something in Todd's attitude changed. The bored blank face and rolling eyes stopped. His mouth opened just a little and his eyes widened as he looked back up to her. His face was half in shock, half in sorrow.

"O-oh I'm sorry to hear that. Would you mind elaborating further?" Instead of being a grunt or a snarl, his tone changed to more of that of a friend. No, he couldn't really be getting all sappy over this could he? This was the same man who'd seen portals to another world. The same man who'd seen tools which a single man could use to destroy a city in minutes. Monsters he only thought were in nightmares! He wasn't gonna let that all go over some sob story… right?

"Every day I baked a fresh batch of cookies… just in the hopes that one day he'd be back to enjoy them. But he never came, nobody did. I stayed in the house after then. Just me and my oven. Baking for nobody. That was until you people found me! I can't tell you how much having you here means to me dearie."

"Thank you, Nana" Todd said. This time he was happy to say the name. "That's all I needed to know."

"I'm glad I could be of some help" She said to him, the water in her eyes greater than before.

The notepad said that Todd was meant to just lay back down on the bed and he'll wake up in reality. He almost didn't want to read those words. "Wake up". Not like I wanna stay here or anything. I uh… hate doing this job. He said to himself, knowing it was a lie.

"I'll be going now." He took a pause to think and sharpley turned back to Nana. "Could I…" God this is embarrasing "have a cookie before I do?"

Nana smiled and handed him the tray. This time the cookie tasted a hundred times better. "Keep safe" she told him. "You… will be back yes?"

Todd smiled (something that nobody had known for him to do for a long time) and nodded to Nana, before laying back down.

He opened his eyes again. Nana was gone. He was back. Notepad in hand, he opened the door where Ashley was waiting for him.

"Finally! You're out" She sighed. "Listen I've got some good news for you and me; site command says they'll be happy to move you to another project that 'puts your experience to the test'."

Todd's chest tightened hearing that. "N-no I don't think. Uh. It would be uhm… detrimental to the project if somebody else took my position. I'll… I'll bear the brunt of this one I guess." He let out a nervous laugh towards the end.

Ashley smirked, knowing something had happened while he was in there. "Sure thing Todd, I'm sure this is your biggest challenge yet after all you've faced." She said in a patronising voice.

"Fuck off. Not like I wanna keep doing this!" Todd barked.

"You sure? I can get someone else to do it if you want." Ashley teased.

"I-" Todd had nothing to say. He grew red with embarrassment and Ashley laughed as she walked away.

Abandoned Dog

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be contained in a standard Anomalous Creature Containment Cell at Site-██. The containment cell must not be equipped with windows or cameras. Subject is to be given water and fed daily with Purina brand puppy food. Personnel who have viewed SCP-XXXX without approval are to be immediately removed for physiological screening. Any blood found within SCP-XXXX's containment cell is to be assumed as perceived and ignored.

Due to the discovery that illustrations and photos of SCP-XXXX also cause anomalous effects, Level 3 permission is required to have these items created and distribution for testing purposes requires Level 4 permission. Any unauthorised attempts to photograph or illustrate SCP-XXXX are to be met with disciplinary action and destruction of the depictions of SCP-XXXX.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a member of Canis lupus familiaris, of the Labrador breed, eight months of age. Around the neck of SCP-XXXX is a collar with a metallic tag. While it appears that the tag did have a name at some point, it is now scratched and tarnished to the point where no letters are present. Sampling from the collar reveals that it was created some time in the 19th century. SCP-XXXX appears to have various injuries and wounds across its entire body with several different methods of causing injury to be apparent.

SCP-XXXX's anomalous properties first manifest when SCP-XXXX's injuries are viewed directly or though images and illustrations (though the effects when viewing depictions and not directly seem to be significantly reduced). Viewers will then have a significant urge to attempt to provide medical care to SCP-XXXX, even if having no knowledge of veterinary science. This urge to aid SCP-XXXX is randomised with no pattern of how strong the urge will be. Attempts to aid SCP-XXXX are always met with failure no matter the skill of the attempting person. After failure to heal SCP-XXXX (or forced removal of the viewer), the aid provider is always met with negative emotions of sadness, guilt and disappointment in ones self which also range similarly to the urge to aid. Some examples of these negative emotions are: crying, aversion to social situations and stress. Whenever SCP-XXXX is able to see a person experiencing these emotions, it will also show signs of sadness. This emotion felt by SCP-XXXX seems to not be towards the person who failed, but towards itself for causing people to feel negative emotions.

Addendum SCP-XXXX-A: After continued testing, it was found that the appearance of SCP-XXXX differs from person to person. While some personnel report large scale damage with scarring, deep cuts and broken limbs, others report only minor scratches and bruises (it should be noted that this perceptive change does not happen with depictions, but other side effects will). Additionally, the urge to aid and the resulting negative emotions appear to be connected to the amount of damage perceived by the viewer. The connection between SCP-XXXX's range of effects appears to be how abandoned a person feels. Those who feel more abandoned will perceive SCP-XXXX with less damage than those who do not feel abandoned. Therefore, if one feels more abandoned, they will have less of an urge to heal SCP-XXXX and have a lesser period of negative emotions. This was discovered after comparing the backgrounds of two researchers who gave accounts of what they saw when viewing SCP-XXXX. Another set of tests were conducted to investigate this with the results and initial accounts from Dr.██████ and Dr.████ displayed below.

Subject Abandonment Events Damage Perceived Effects After Failure
Dr.██████ Parents split at age 12, Dr.██████ is currently divorced. "There was a large cut on the underbelly which was bleeding profusely and its left back leg appeared to have been hit with a heavy impact." Random outbursts of crying on the first day with Dr.██████ not coming into work the next day.
Dr.████ Mother died during childbirth resulting in a single parent family. "The face had a scar across the mouth and another above the eye. Subject also had 3 gashes on its back and was bleeding from its side." Periods of stress and lack of self confidence with little desire to socialise with other staff.
D-433 No significant events associated with abandonment that D-433 could recall. "Oh… oh God what is that? (D-433 was then asked to describe the injuries) Its missing an eye and the leg's completely limp. Its broken! You have to let me help it… its bleeding everywhere!" D-433 was found hanging in her cell later in the day.
D-840 Majority of family and friends cut all contact due to D-840's drug addiction. "Poor guy doesn't look like he's doing all that good. He's got bruises all of his body and it I think hes got a cut down his ear." D-840 ate at extremely low rates for 6 days resulting in considerable weight loss.
D-612 Divorced after 23 years of marriage, still saw children regularly. "What the hell happened to him? The eye was blind with a scratch scar and it left a trail of blood wherever it went. I had to try and help." D-612 was caught attempting to injure himself using a sharp object. He was able to cause 7 cuts before being stopped. He recovered after medical care but it is believed that without interference D-612 would have died.
D-153 Orphaned at the early age of 7, D-153 failed to create friendships and bonds during schooling. At age 18 D-153 became involved with criminal activities due to difficulties with money. D-153 was a member of an organised crime gang which left D-153 to be caught during a police raid. "Well let's see, the fur looks a little worn and that leg there has a bruise. Other than that I can't see much." Instead of attempting to provide aid to SCP-XXXX, D-153 instead approached SCP-XXXX and began to slowly stroke it from its neck to the end of its back. SCP-XXXX seemed to display a relaxation that had not been seen before. D-153 simply requested to see SCP-XXXX again instead of having negative effects (see Addendum SCP-XXXX-B for further developments).

Addendum SCP-XXXX-B: To test whether further results could be found, D-153 was allowed to revisit SCP-XXXX several times throughout a month's time. Whenever SCP-XXXX saw D-153, it would jump repeatedly at D-153's leg while frequently barking. Personnel who had seen SCP-XXXX during transit of D-153 noted that the damage they usually saw on SCP-XXXX has been significantly reduced and the negative effects of SCP-XXXX we also lessened. Because of these discoveries, Site Command has agreed that D-153 will no longer take part in experiments that could pose risk to his health in any way. During the hours of 8am to 6pm, D-153 is permitted to visit SCP-XXXX and is allowed to walk with SCP-XXXX through designated areas of the facility. D-153 has also started referring to SCP-XXXX "Scruffy", which is now what personnel should use when wanting to call SCP-XXXX for feeding or other purposes. Any further changes in SCP-XXXX's or D-153's behaviour is to be reported.



WARNING: THE FOLLOWING FILE REQUIRES LEVEL 4 AUTHORIZATION

ANY ATTEMPT TO ACCESS THIS FILE WITHOUT LEVEL 4 AUTHORIZATION WILL BE LOGGED AND WILL LEAD TO IMMEDIATE DISCIPLINARY ACTION.
[SUBMIT CREDENTIALS]
Footnotes