Per 
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[[Joke Scp]]
SCP-3547-J
class: Euclid
Special containment procedures:
To this date SCP-3547-J could not be contained. All attempts at capturing it have failed.
Description:
SCP-3547-J does not posses a permanent form. Instead it manifests on various surfaces taking on a circular shape, although it has observed to be distorted into more oval shapes. SCP-3547-J usually is green or red in color but reports have also mentioned other colours.
SCP-3547-J seems to be incorporeal all attempts at creating physical contact with it have failed.
The object has displayed anamalous physical behaviours being able to accelerate to high speeds almost instantly and come to a stop without delay and can move along walls and ceilings without being affected by gravity.
The entity sometimes dissapears and reapears at a different location after a short amount of time. It has not been determined how it accomplishes this (theories include invisibility or teleportation coupled with time travelling).
SCP-3547-J shows highly erratic behaviour, moving around rooms with seemingly no target while stopping frequently for no reason.
It is unclear whether SCP-3547-J is sentient or not. It seems to be aware of its surroundings and observers trying to avoid being touched.
It also posses memetic properties drawing in the attention of all present individuals , an effect that is difficult to resist.
Addendum: I swear one day i'll get that [expletive expunged] thing -Dr C.AT
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[[tab serious scp]]
Disobediance orb
Orb that causes everyone who holds it to disobey all commands issued to them.
Disobediance is proportional to obediance
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Scp-xxxx
Object Class: Safe
special containment procedures: Scp-xxxx is to be contained in a standard humanoid containment cell. A 5 meter safety parameter around its cell is to be marked to avoid accidental exposure to scp-xxxx's effect. Carrying fragile or dangerous items near Scp-xxxx containment cell is to be avoided if possible. Supply of items is to be done via a conveyor belt leading into the containment cell to avoid accidents. Scp-xxxx is not allowed to leave it's cell unless all necessary arrangements have been made to avoid accidents caused by it's anomalous effect and the okay by security level 2 or higher personell has been given.
Up to this point Scp-xxxx has willingly cooperated with the foundation, any attempts of escape have been deemed unlikely.
Description: Scp-xxxx is a caucasian male in his mid thirties and roughly 1.75 meters tall. Scp-xxxx's anomalous effect manifests in a 5 meter zone around itself that causes all living organisms to be unable to move from their current position. Any attempts to do so will usually result in the individual tripping or slipping and falling to the ground. For a list of how this effect occurs see incident log xxxx-I-1 to 5 and experiment log xxxx-E-1 to 6
Meanwhile Scp-xxxx is entirely excempt from this effect.
Scp-xxxx has come to the attention of the foundation after the sudden occurence of multiple accidents in a local factory in south hampton. Following the death of ■■■■ undercover foundation personnel working at the local police department noticed the frequent involvement of Scp-xxxx. Subsequent investigation discovered it's anomalous effect which at the time only covered a radius of about 1.5 meters. Following the discovery Scp-xxxx was convinced to turn itself into foundation custody.
Over the following 3 months the radius slowly increased to roughly 4.5 meters. Since then no further increase has been observed.
Addendum:
Whichever idiot requested additional safety measures has earned himself some extra shifts. Yes, you can't chase him because you trip immediately, but do you know what doesn't trip? A bullet. There is no need for extra security. Just use your brain before you waste my time.
-Dr. Guten
Incident logs:
xxxx-I-1
Experiment logs
xxxx-E-7
Object: Scp-096
Result: Denied.
-Are you insane? Even if the thing can't reach him it would still keep on trying making it impossible to contain. What are you even trying to prove? -Dr Guten
xxxx-E-8
Object: scp-682
Result: Denied.
-You're fired. -Dr. Guten
xxxx-E-12
Object: Dr. Guten
Result: scp-xxxx was apparently near Dr. Guten's office while he was making himself a cup of coffee. Upon attempting to return to his desk Dr. Guten slipped on a used coffee pad tumbling to the ground while suffering mild burns from his coffee.
-HAHAHA REALLY FUNNY. And of course the security footage of of the hallway just so happened to get lost. If I find whoever did that I'll demote you to D-class. -Dr. Guten
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[[Be happy]]
SCP-xxxx
Object class: Keter
Special containment procedure:
SCP-xxxx is to be contained within a 10m by 10m soundproofed cell without any windows.
No reflective surfaces that would allow SCP-xxxx to view itself are allowed in it's vicinity.
The song "Don't Worry Be Happy" by Bobby McFerrin should be permanentely played on loop from speakers installed in it's cell. The cell is to be cleaned biweekly.
It is to be supplied with an uninformed D-Class awaiting termination at least once per month or at digression of operating staff.
Direct observing is not recommended. Special glasses fitted with cameras and displays are provided to bypass this restriction.
Personell must:
-Always be smiling and display a happy demeanor while visible to SCP-xxxx no matter the circumstances.
-regularly tell jokes to SCP-xxxx preferably crude in nature
-not be appaled or preferably find enjoyment in dark and grotesque humour.
-regularly be submitted to psychological evaluation to ensure they are able to maintain containment procedures.
Additionally upon Scp-xxxx telling a joke all persons present must heartfully laugh or at least pretend to do so.
In case of containment breach SCP-xxxx can be lured utilizing D-class voicing and displaying sadness,frustration or anger.
Description: SCP-xxxx is a large creature kept at an average size of 3 metres high
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