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914 Test Format
SCP
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Possible damage:
- Dirt
- Corrosion
- Melted
- Magnetic damage
- Voltage
- Radiation, Ionisation of components through gamma rays
- Teleportation malfunction
Name: Researcher Laskenta
Date: / /20
Total Items:
Note: - Laskenta
Input:
Setting: Rough Coarse 1:1 Fine Very Fine
Output:
Addendum:
Name: Researcher Laskenta; D-
Date: / /20
Total Items: Several damaged memory devices
Note: Like any other time, all used items belong to Foundation personnel, who asked me to retrieve their data. Since all data-recovery failed and the data is not important enough to use other anomalous machinery, I will use 914 as my very last attempt to get the files back. - Laskenta
Input: A Foundation storage (type; space), damage
Setting: Fine
Output:
Name: Nitsche does not match any existing user name
Date: Somewhen in the past and in the future
Total Items: None
Input: Now more than nothing
Setting: Fine
Output: Ideas
Input: Latest test output
Setting: Fine
Output: Thoughts
Input: Latest test output
Setting: Fine
Output: Visualisation
Input: The last three test outputs
Setting: Very Fine
Output: A full log
Note: Isn't it beautiful? -
Added Stuff
- "Better" PCs
- Coffee-Maker gone wrong
- Data recovery
- Tea and Coffee
- Magic(al) Cubes
- null
- Gömböc
- Even "better" PCs
- Magic(al) cubes, colourless
- Table Tennis
- Data Recovery Number 2
- try{} catch{}
- I can see forever
- Linux
- Data R3cov3ry
- Walker's "Macrochemistry"
- C-ing feat. Walker
- Tea and plate
- Introducing 2+2
- Esoteric Math
- D4t4 Recovery
- A nomic design
- Cay
- less word
- 5th Data Recovery
- Isolation
- Decryption
- Ode
- Die
- Bloxorz (collab)
- 1688
- Added Stuff
Test 914-0879
Name: Researcher Laskenta; D-46931
Date: 19/06/2019
Total Items: Three standard "Facility 19-23" SCP Foundation PCs (without any data outside of the operating system)
Note: Since I am somewhat responsible for the workstations of this facility and they seem to break after a certain time "by themselves", I will try to create a PC that can be reverse-engineered and does not break through anomalous means. -Laskenta
Input: One PC
Setting: Fine
Output: A cube (17.5x17.5x17.5 cm) of an alloy of all materials used in the PC. The cube can not be deformed or damaged by any force smaller than 250MN. On one side is a 2x2cm symbol which glows when the cube is pressured with more than 150N. The symbol is the source of the cube's durability, but will not hold any anomalous feature if printed onto anything but cubes of the same size and alloy.
Note: Note to everybody whom it will concern: Don't say "unbreakable" in front of 914. The cube will be handed to the next person asking me stuff about their writing software. - Laskenta
Input: One PC
Setting: Fine
Output: The same PC. After using the test result for more than two hours, an anomalous effect will make the nearest user believe the object is broken. The affected subject will seek Researcher Laskenta the next person of technical skill to ask for help. Result immediately incinerated by Laskenta, after the standard inspection revealed the effect.
Input: One PC
Setting: Fine
Output: A slightly smaller reinforced metal object. The insides seemed to be a working computer until holes for the power supply and ports were cut, where all function ceased. Any attempt to boot the machine up has met with failure. Result disassembled. No part, besides the CPU, held any anomalous feature afterwards.
Note: "What has no inputs, can not be broken." Thank you, 914, but it can also not be used. I request a second review of all parts for other anomalous features. If they don't hold any, I propose to use them to build another PC. - Laskenta
Test 914-0883
Name: Researcher Laskenta; D-46931
Date: 25/06/2019
Total Items: One metal mug, filled with coffee; One (cleaned) coffee machine
Note: After a conversation with Intern Walker about coffee, where I seemed to be harsher then I anticipated, I've decided to try and create a coffee generator as a recompense. -Laskenta
Input: One filled mug; One coffee machine
Setting: Very fine
Output: The mug has been welded on top of the coffee machine, and will be constantly filled to the top with coffee. If the coffee is removed without drinking it directly from the mug, it will be replaced with a sharp metal dust, as soon as it enters a human digestive system, which will result in severe abdominal pain for the drinker. The coffee machine will work as expected, but upon making coffee everybody within close range of the machine will feel a strong sense of guilt.
Note: This will not do for the break room. I will disassemble the output. I am just happy that Very Fine didn't result in… something like 3023. -Laskenta
Addendum: Upon separating the mug from the coffee machine, both items grew metallic limps and attacked everybody in sight with hot coffee. Both items were quickly disabled and incinerated by security. Result held no anomalous traits afterwards. No casualties, besides first degree burns on the hands and torso of Researcher Laskenta, who separated the items.
Note: I need coffee and a day off. Sorry Walker, maybe next time. -Laskenta
Note: I told you it wouldn't work, and now look. You wasted so much perfectly good coffee. And we need a new coffee machine. - Walker
Note: The one I have in my room (brought from home) will be used as a compensation in the break room until I buy a new one. -Laskenta
Test 914-0896
Name: Researcher Laskenta; D-46931
Date: 29/06/2019
Total Items: Several damaged external memory devices
Note: All used items belong to Foundation personnel, who asked me to retrieve their data. Since all data-recovery failed and the data is not important enough to use other anomalous machinery, I will use 914 as my very last attempt to get the files back. -Laskenta
Input: One Foundation flash drive (USB 2.0 Stick; 128GB), cleanly cut in half
Setting: Fine
Output: Two small USB Sticks, assumed to hold 64GB each. When connected directly to a USB port, the device, the output is connected to, will be cut in two pieces by an unknown unstoppable force. When connected via an extension, the extension will be cut in the same fashion. As soon as the extension is repaired while the result is still connected, the extension will be cut again. Connecting both outputs at the same time to a device will lead to the exact same result. Due to this effect no data can be read (nor written).
Input: One Foundation external hard drive (backup drive; 4TB) with two bullet holes (no bullets)
Setting: Very Fine
Output: A 15.625cm small metallic humanoid figure; a small pistol in the hand of the figure. The figure is not sentient, but is able to speak English. After the output booth opened, the figure introduced itself as "The Second Backup", asked who called it and swore it's loyalty to Researcher Laskenta after he responded. The figure is able to correctly answer any question regarding itself or the pistol. The figure is able to carry the weight of 25.875kg and run with a speed of 7.375km/h. The pistol has an infinite amount of bullets and can only be fired by the figure. The pistol itself inflicts as much damage as a needle, but the target will be paralysed for 2 seconds, as if mentally absent, and will randomly think of a two-digit hexadecimal number. Both effects only work on humans with a cognitohazard resistance value of <64. Shooting on the same target within those 2 seconds will neither replace the thought of the old numbers with new ones, or extend the time stunned. Shooting another target will result in the same numbers and will extend the duration of the cognitohazard on the first target by 2 seconds. Both outputs are indestructible by any known means.
Note: I commanded the Second Backup to guard my office and shoot at everybody who enters my room without knocking, and who does not close my door properly. It seems to be unable to shoot at me, even when he does not know it's me. Permission to keep, if I hang up a warning sign? -Laskenta
Note: That's hilarious, Laskenta. - Veritas
Note: The numbers are the hexadecimal equivalent of the bytes which were stored on the input. It would take more than 253,000 years to get all information back. - Rosen
Note: The reason I use Coarse in this test, is to see if the coffee can be separated from the device without damaging the device itself. I don't exactly believe that this will work. -Laskenta
Input: One Foundation external hard drive (backup drive; 4TB) with coffee stains
Setting: Coarse
Output: The same hard drive without coffee; a small puddle of coffee. The drive can not be read, but can be written to. The coffee holds the information contained on the drive. an infohazard which causes everybody who knows about the output to believe that it contains the information on the drive, until proven otherwise. Result incinerated.
Note: This is the very first time that Coarse has made anything related to a cognitohazard. I assume this happened because I separated information and the coffee from the drive. I will stop testing for now, so as to not endanger the facility. -Laskenta
Test 914-0901
Name: Researcher Laskenta; D-46931
Date: 22/06/2019
Total Items: Four metal mugs, filled with black tea
Note: We had many test lately with uncommon inputs. So I will just try to make coffee. -Laskenta
Input: One mug of black tea.
Setting: 1:1
Output: One mug, filled with green tea.
Input: One mug of black tea.
Setting: 1:1
Output: One metal mug, filled with water; a small cluster of tea leaves.
Note: D-46931 and I checked if the dial was on Coarse. It was not. - Laskenta
Input: One mug of black tea.
Setting: 1:1
Output: One tea mug, filled with metal. Result collapsed instantly. No anomalous traits detected.
Note: Output booth cleaned by myself. The metal will be used for another mug when I got time. - Laskenta
Input: One filled mug
Setting: 1:1 Fine
Output: One mug, filled with coffee. The same mug with another fluid. The fluid in the mug can only be described as normal coffee, which it is. Result incinerated. The output was the same mug filled with coffee. It is coffee. The tea in the input booth was not put into 914 without changeing it beforehand.
Note: I slipped on a bit of tea that I missed and accidentally turned the dial to Fine. Not describing the coffee and then using the words, was the only way to describe it. I will get myself a coffee without effects that imitate me. -Laskenta
Test 914-0917
Name: Researcher Laskenta; D-47565
Date: 11/07/2019
Total Items: Three magic cubes (3x3x3)
Input: One cube
Setting: Fine
Output: One magic cube with different colours (black, light blue, russet, orange, violet & brown). Solving the cube will result in a random effect, which has been described by D-47565 as victory notification. Effects observed until now include: changing the colours on the cube to a picture of a rainbow for 3 seconds; playing the victory sound from the franchise "Final Fantasy"; projecting a hologram of [EXPLETIVE REDACTED] above the cube.
Note: Testing involved D-47565 and me solving this cube for four hours. (It feels better than the original.) We have not tested yet what happens, if nobody uses it for a while. Do I get permission to keep it, if it does nothing within a month? -Laskenta
Input: One cube
Setting: Fine
Output: One magic cube (4x4x4). The cube is as big as the input and therefore harder to turn than a normal cube of this size. Researcher Laskenta hypothesizes, that it is impossible to get a "LL parity" while normally solving the cube.
Note: A "LL parity" is a special case that occurs while solving a cube with an even size (4x4; 6x6 …). By using the beginner's method of solving, these cases occur as often as they do not.
Input: One cube
Setting: Fine
Output: The same cube. After turning the cube and letting it stay in one permutation for 5 seconds, a cognitohazard will affect everyone within line of sight of the user. All subjects will hear a Finnish phrase spoken by the user in their native language emanating from directly behind each subject. The phrase is chosen by the current permutation of the cube. The connection of the phrase to the permutation seem to be identical with SCP-2053-2.
Note: Until now neither 2053-1 nor the result of this test had shown any reaction to the permutations used during the tests. This will be put into anomalous storage, if neither the 2053-Team nor Dr. Veritas have any objections. -Laskenta
Note: Thinking of just making a standard form to allow keeping of object in exchange for accepting responsibility for something blowing your head off down the line. - Veritas
Test 914-0933
Name: Researcher Laskenta; D-19232
Date: 22/07/2019
Total Items: One sheet of paper, containing the full documentation of SCP-000; one flash-drive, containing the full documentation of SCP-000
What is that?
Input: The sheet of paper
Setting: 1:1
Output: A sheet of paper, containing a detailed explanation of array indices, claiming that all arrays should start at negative fourteen (-14).
What did it say?
Note: The article is well written and defends its point of view very well. -Laskenta
Is it gone?
Input: The flash-drive
Setting: 1:1
Output: The same flash-drive. It only contains coordinates of a place in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. An exploration team has been sent to the postion to acquire information. As soon as the team arrived, the coordinates changed to another place within the Pacific Ocean. This procedure was repeated four times. Researcher Laskenta hypothesizes that the coordinates always point to an area without anything of relevance, effectively representing a geographic null pointer. Result has been placed in anomalous storage.
DID YOU COME ONLY TO LEAVE?
Test 914-0942
Name: Researcher Laskenta; D-19232
Date: 26/07/2019
Total Items: Three white Gömböcs
Input: One Gömböc
Setting: 1:1
Output: A white roly-poly toy, with a higher-than-normal centre of mass, rendering it useless for its purpose.
Input: One Gömböc
Setting: Fine
Output: A body with no stable point of equilibrium. It has yet to be proven if the output is anomalous or calculable by normal means.
Note: It is not possible to use the output as an infinite energy source, as it comes to halt as soon as anything other then the ground touches it.
Input: One Gömböc
Setting: Very Fine
Output: A sphere, with the same diameter of the input. Upon being touched by organic matter a human, every application of kinetic force and the constant force due to gravity is transferred to the sphere, causing it to move towards the centre of the mass of the subject. D-19232, who tried to remove the sphere by himself after touching the output, suffered severe internal damage and blood loss after it penetrated their skin and flesh. Upon D-19232s death, the effect ceased and the sphere was contained in a wooden box.
Test 914-0946
Name: Researcher Laskenta; D-40049
Date: 30/07/2019
Total Items: 3 standard "Facility 19-23" SCP Foundation PCs (without any data outside of the operating system)
Input: One PC
Setting: Fine
Output: A "Site 23 Facility 19 PCs Foundation SCP" (ID: 000112339aCCLPPSs-----). Item is identical to the input, with the exception of transposed words and letters within the system which can not be reverted or changed by any means. These include: "SCP os" → "soS PC"; "Session will be terminated by external server after 5 minutes of inactivity." → "Terminated server will, after 5 minutes, be, by inactivity of external session." All commands can be used as normal. If any part of the result is removed and used in another machine, the effects will also show upon starting the object. The effects cease after removing the used part and stopping the machine.
Note: I was going to melt the output down, but Junior Researcher Drant showed interest in the output. -Laskenta
I am requesting advanced tests under my supervision, to acquire more information about the transmission of anomalous effects, particularly when using parts that do normally not affect the function of a machine at all, for example, a screw in a computer. -Simon Drant, JR
Input: One PC
Setting: Fine
Output: A metal plate (1x1.2m) with small elevations on one side. These elevations run around the plate in curved lines. On areas with no elevation are green plastic figurines, allegorising trees and bushes. Small parts of the elevations glow in a faint yellow light, which move around on the elevation in an alternating speed. The source of the light and their movement is unknown and theorized to be anomalous. The lights intensity decreases slowly over time, too slow for the human eye. If the constant speed of recession does not change, all lights will cease within 21 years.
Input: One PC
Setting: Fine
Output: Seven identical metallic objects reassembling mobile phones. Each device has a seventh of every component from the input. None of the devices work, as no component is properly connected. The result cannot be used and is non-anomalous.
Note: I tried to make PCs better; I got mobile devices and they do not work. That's pretty much my impression about technological history. I will keep one. - Laskenta
Note: You're not keeping anything until they are thoroughly screened for anomalous viruses. Pick them up at anomalous storage if Rosen permits it. - Veritas
Test 914-0947
Name: Researcher Laskenta; D-40049
Date: 31/07/2019
Total Items: Three colourless magic cubes (3x3x3)
Input: One cube
Setting: 1:1
Output: The same cube. The inspection has shown that the cube has been scrambled.
Input: One cube
Setting: Fine
Output: A "ghost cube". While not having any colour, the size and form of the faces differ.
Note: Please note that a ghost cube is not incorporeal, but an existing puzzle. -Laskenta
Input: One cube
Setting: Very Fine
Output: A small round plate with four wheels and four buttons which span to both sides of the object. Upon turning the wheels, the short hand of the next 18 clocks (analogue & digital) move in the same fashion as the clocks on a Rubik's Clock would. Additionally, everybody but the user of the output in the same room as an affected clock will tell the time as shown on the clock, even when the subject has not looked at the clock. Subjects will be oblivious to every change on the clock and will state that they "said the same time one minute ago". When two affected clocks are in the same room, subjects will feel nauseous and have a strong urge to leave the room, or move all but one clock to another room.
Addendum: Researcher Laskenta solved the puzzle at 2:52 am (18:52 UTC). Upon solving, the output revealed a cognitohazard on both sides which granted the solver the ability to set all clocks within the same room as the solver to a time they had spoken. This change has the same effect as the change of the test result has. Both the ability and the cognitohazard ceased after exactly 18 hours and 52 minutes.
Note: I also solved the puzzle at 19:37 and 05:19 UTC both resulting in the same effect which lasted for 19 hours 37 minutes and 5 hours 19 minutes respectively. -Laskenta
Test 914-0952
Name: Researcher Laskenta; D-40049
Date: 09/08/2019
Total Items: Four table tennis bats; Two table tennis balls
Note: Junior Researcher Kai and I were talking about table tennis and the physical performance of its players the other day, hence the input of this test. -Laskenta
Input: Two table tennis bats; One table tennis ball
Setting: 1:1
Output: A figure representing a plump generic Chiroptera (bat) mostly made out of wood with chunks of celluloid.
Note: If one instance of SCP-504 were to be placed between me, the last test result, and SCP-914, could it even choose? -Laskenta
Input: Two table tennis bats; One table tennis ball
Setting: Very Fine
Output: The same two bats, small missing pieces of red paint. The ball has been coloured with the paint of the bats to represent a tomato. Upon opening the output chamber, all items slowly floated to the center of the room to start a match of table tennis. The ball ricocheted between the bats and where a ping-pong table would have stood; the bats flew around as if they where held by two humanoid players with unnaturally high speed, strength, and constitution. The speed of the ball reached a peak of ~245km/h. After 46 minutes and 33 seconds the match ended with the ball being shot in the direction of the security camera with a speed of ~220km/h. This resulted in the total destruction of the ball and the armoured camera. The bats fell directly to the ground after the ball was destroyed. Results held no anomalous features afterwards.
Note to Dr. Veritas: My last pay check and the bill, which already went through accounting, lies on your desk at top of the second "Accidents" pile. -Laskenta
Test 914-0959
Name: Researcher Laskenta; D-40049
Date: 19/08/2019
Total Items: Several damaged external memory devices
Note: Like last time, all used items belong to Foundation personnel, who asked me to retrieve their data. Since all data-recovery failed and the data is not important enough to use other anomalous machinery, I will use 914 as my very last attempt to get the files back. - Laskenta
Input: A Foundation optical storage (CD-ROM; 12cm; 900MiB), with two scratches on the readable side
Setting: Fine
Output: A 7cm wide cog made out of polycarbonate coated with aluminium. It jolts forward at irregular intervals at high speeds (estimated peak: 7.5m/s). The object repeats its pattern of jolting after 2048 jolts.
Note: I will set up a camera to record the pattern of sudden movements, as it might be a binary code that is repeated. -Laskenta
Addendum: After approximately 400 jolts, once recording began, the test result lunged itself with a speed of 7.5m/s into the recording camera and exploded. The only damaged items are the recording device and the output, which have been incinerated by the explosion. Result held no anomalous properties afterwards.
Note: My outputs seem to either like or hate recording devices so much they explode. Luckily that camera was bought by me. No need to go to accounting. -Laskenta
Input: A Foundation optical storage (CD-ROM; 12cm; 900MiB), with a single crack radiating outward from the centre, approximately 4cm long
Setting: Fine
Output: A Möbius loop, made out of polycarbonate coated with aluminium. An inspection with a microscope has showed that it holds "pits" and "lands" like a CD would. Any attempt to read the data will result in anomalously reaching an end of the Möbius loop, which can only be perceived by the reading device. This effect will activate after 32 bits are read, no matter where the recording starts. The 4 read bytes (32 bits) will always be "01000101 01001111 01000011 01000100", which can be read as "EOCD".
Input: A Foundation ID-Card (Guest clearance level 3, belonging to Dr. H████ D████████████), with a ripped magnetic strip and a functional microcircuit
Setting: Fine
Output: The input, with a microscopically small clockwork in the place of the microcircuit. Due to being directly connected to the card, the clockwork is not able to be turned, without either breaking the cogs, or ripping the card. The clockwork has no apparent input or output and putting it into motion would only result in every part to be moved. The result has no other changes and is non-anomalous.
Note: While every clockmaker would be impressed by its latest work, 914 has once again improved the object without achieving the desired result. That being said, I will test both remaining outputs again for any unknown features. -Laskenta
Test 914-0966
Name: Researcher Laskenta; D-47565
Date: 21/08/2019
Total Items: A USB flash drive containing the source code and documentation of Java 8
Input: The flash drive
Setting: Fine
Output: The same flash drive. After physically connecting the result to a computer, all liquids within ten meters from it are replaced with ~303-313 Kelvin hot coffee. D-47565's blood, who plugged in the device, fell victim to this effect, causing massive internal bleeding. Subject survived and recovered within eight days. Medical examination is ongoing to ascertain how D-47565 can survive with non-anomalous coffee in their circulatory system. The flash drive is only accessible by a "Solaris 8" system and contains no data. Reading the bytes on a "Solaris 8" system results in pseudocode for replacing all liquids in the range of ten meters with coffee.
Test 914-0974
Name: Researcher Laskenta; D-40049; D-94004
Date: 27/08/2019
Total Items: One pair of glasses, without correction; One printed article about ███, a company that creates ''smart glasses''.
Note: An acquaintance of mine showed me a German Austrian news report about them and their plan to replace smartphones within five years. This is a very high set bar; I am sure 914 has something to contribute to this. -Laskenta
Input: Mentioned items
Setting: Very Fine
Output: The same items. The glasses were not found inside the output booth, but rather on top of the selection panel. Testing showed that putting on the glasses will result in a cognitohazardous effect, affecting every humanoid life form that is perceived by the subject through the glasses. Affected life forms will feel the need to mention "what wonderful glasses they are" and that they "are going to change everything". Pointing out the position of the glasses, will make them teleport on top of the person, who stated the position. The new wearer will be oblivious to the new position and the effect, and the glasses will anomalously stay on top of the subject until removed by somebody else. The article was found to be unchanged and non-anomalous. Both items have been incinerated. Items held no anomalous feature afterwards.
Note: It was as amusing as it was tiring to watch D-40049 and D-94004 repeat themselves over and over again, both stating that they can see the goggles on top of the other one. -Laskenta
Addendum: In a conversation between Researcher Laskenta and Junior Researcher Drant, Researcher Laskenta stated: "Yes, [the glasses] have been [incinerated]. In the incinerator.", upon which the glasses reappeared on top of Researcher Laskenta. The glasses seem to be able to reform and repair themselves as long as the near exact position of destruction is mentioned while referring to the output. Junior Researcher Drant has destroyed the test result again at an unknown location and applied Class A amnestics to himself.
Test 914-1008
Name: Researcher Laskenta; D-40049
Date: 16/09/2019
Total Items: Three Foundation flash drives (USB 2.0 Stick; 128GB) containing general information about 'Linux' systems, including history and an overview of common distributions, stored in a .txt file
Input: One flash drive
Setting: Fine
Output: An approximately 1cm small figurine, representing a penguin. Non-anomalous.
Note: The original text does not include anything about Tux, the penguin mascot of Linux. -Laskenta
Input: One flash drive
Setting: Fine
Output: The same flash drive, containing a text-based cognitohazard, that affects everybody who sees the stored data and does not know about the operating system 'MINIX'. Affected subjects will show symptoms of delirium, agitation and aggression, akin to that of late stage rabies. Said symptoms will increase when the subject is presented with an operating system that is not based on MINIX. This effect will cease after ten to twenty hours.
Note: Minix was also not mentioned on the drive. I am sure 914 will break this pattern soon. -Laskenta
Input: One flash drive
Setting: Fine
Output: The input, unchanged. The device is now autonomously able to be booted. Doing so will result in the start-up of "Tha Clokworcs - ohs" [sic], a fully working operating system with a clockwork-themed graphical interface and spelling mistakes in every word that has not been entered by a user. Attempts to read the binary files of the system have been contradictory and have never resulted in any known coding or spoken language.
Note: The build-up of the system is similar to that of usual Linux-systems. I will keep this drive to recreate the system, as soon as a thorough test for any technological cognitohazards has been made. -Laskenta
Test 914-1016
Name: Researcher Laskenta; D-40049
Date: 16/09/2019
Total Items: Several damaged external memory devices
Note: Like last time, all used items belong to Foundation personnel, who asked me to retrieve their data. Since all data-recovery failed and the data is not important enough to use other anomalous machinery, I will use 914 as my very last attempt to get the files back. - Laskenta
Input: One Foundation flash drive (USB 2.0 Stick; 128GB), missing its socket and a small part of its circuit board.
Setting: Fine
Output: The same flash drive. While holding it, the strength of the holder is dramatically increased. Subjects do not appear to have their perception of their own strength or muscle memory changed, which results in limb movements becoming highly exaggerated and potentially harmful.
Input: Five Foundation flash drives (USB 2.0 Stick; 128GB). Non-functional.
Setting: Fine
Output: A 20x15cm small book, made out of plastic with a metal cover. The pages of the test result will rip apart easily, as the material is not meant to resemble thin paper. All but the first page are empty; "Do the old outlive the young?" is written on the first page in a font similar to that of typewriters.
Input: One Foundation solid-state drive (16TB), water damage.
Setting: Fine
Output: A puddle of melted plastics and metals, presumably the materials from the input. The puddle resembles a USB-drive and will anomalously try to take the form of one after being deformed. There is no known way to cool the test result down and will stay at exactly 1600 Kelvin. Connecting the output to a computer (with thermal protection) has resulted in a storage medium with 16TB as long as the whole output is connected. Removing pieces of the output, while connected to the computer, results in a lessening of available storage space. Any saved data that exceeds the new available space will be lost. Item could not be destroyed in the usual way and has been temporary stored in a sealed wolfram box in anomalous storage.
Note: One thing's for sure; this "liquid-state drive" cannot lose its data because someone likes to drink at on their workstation. -Laskenta
Test 914-1029
Name: Research Assistant Walker, Researcher Laskenta
Date: 24/09/2019
Total Items: Anomalously realistic chemistry modelling set from Test 914-0882, four 1×1×1 dm iron cubes
Note: I discovered that I can mix normal chemistry modelling sets into this, and they will become more of the same. I will see if the clockworks will do something interesting with them. - R.A. Walker
Input: Three water molecules
Setting: Rough
Output: Three oxygen atoms, six hydrogen atoms
Input: One molecule of iron oxide
Setting: Coarse
Output: Two iron atoms, three oxygen atoms
Note: It seems that 914 would rather break the bonds than the atoms themselves. I wonder what would happen if I put in a bunch of single atoms. - R.A. Walker
Input: Six neon atoms
Setting: Rough
Output: Same as input. 914 emitted rough mechanical sounds while processing. Testing has been halted while Laskenta checks to make sure 914 isn't damaged.
Note: As a safety precaution, I tested if 914's Coarse and Rough setting does still work on non-anomalous objects. - Laskenta
Input: One 1x1x1 dm iron cube
Setting: Rough
Output: Several chunks of iron
Input: One 1x1x1 dm iron cube
Setting: Rough
Output: A solid puddle of iron; hypothesised to be melted and solidified
Input: One 1x1x1 dm iron cube
Setting: Coarse
Output: One thousand 1x1x1 cm iron cubes
Input: One 1x1x1 dm iron cube
Setting: Coarse
Output: One hundred 1x1x10 cm iron cuboids
Note: If it wasn't an anomalous machine of this complexity, I would say that it seems fine. Go easy on 914, we don't know how old it is, and we can't reproduce its structure yet. - Laskenta
Note: If you say it's alright. I am not going to put single atoms in again. - R.A. Walker
Input: One methane molecule, three oxygen molecules
Setting: 1:1
Output: One carbon dioxide molecule, two water molecules
Note: 1:1 rearranges the molecules, as expected. - R.A. Walker
Input: One molecule of uranium II oxide
Setting: Fine
Output: One molecule of thorium oxide, one helium atom
Note: I thought 914 couldn't break atoms. - R.A. Walker
Note: No, but radiation can. - Laskenta
Note: Interesting. These models didn't show signs of being radioactive before. - R.A. Walker
Input: One molecule of bismuth subsalicylate
Setting: Very Fine
Output: A large atom, twice the size of uranium. It appears to weigh roughly 450 times as much as a hydrogen atom. Three minutes after being removed from the output booth, it exploded, causing hydrogen, deuterium, and helium atoms to fly everywhere. Research Assistant Walker and Researcher Laskenta received a large number of bruises. After they collected all the atom models, they went to the infirmary. After some deliberation, Walker decided that the output was likely unhextrium (element 163).
Note: How did 914 make unhextrium, though? It isn't supposed to do that. - R.A. Walker
Note: I guess it finally saw the input as a model and not as atoms. - Laskenta
Note: Someone reset the counter for ''days without something exploding''. Walker and Laskenta were reprimanded. If 914 decided that the only course of action was to split or fuse an atom, the problem would be a lot larger. Namely, a large, smouldering crater where Site 19 used to be. - Veritas
Test 914-1066
Name: Researcher Laskenta; D-40049
Date: 03/10/2019
Total Items: Three Foundation flash drives (USB 2.0 Stick; 128GB), containing information about the programming language C, stored in a .txt file.
Note: My last test that included information about a programming language (Test 914-0966) resulted in a joke about Java being coffee. Since it's easy to make jokes about the letter C, I got three drives this time. -Laskenta
Input: One flash drive
Setting: Fine
Output: The same flash drive, anomalously containing an exactly 128TB .txt file. Said file consists of English, German, Finnish and [Lv2 Clearance needed] words that start with the letter C. Until now, no word has been found twice and the list is deemed to be sorted in alphabetical order. The drive is set to read-only mode.
Note: The output has been tested meticulously by me, to search for any other anomalies. I deem it to be clear of anything but the text file. -Laskenta
Input: One flash drive
Setting: Fine
Output: The same flash drive, containing information about the programming language C++, stored in a .txt file.
Note: I didn't expect the most logical output. I will look into that. -Laskenta
Input: One flash drive
Setting: Fine
Output: A 3x15cm plate, made out of plastic and metal. The metal has been arranged in a way to illustrate the sentence "you did not C that coming[sic]". After the output was identified, Researcher Laskenta wordlessly exited the building and mumbled unintelligible words to himself for approximately one and a half minutes. This incident has been written off as non-anomalous.
Name: R.A. Walker
Date: 03/10/2019
Total Items: One flash drive containing information about the programming language C++, stored in a .txt file.
Input: The flash drive
Setting: Fine
Output: The same flash drive, containing information about the programming language C#, stored in a .txt file.
Input: Above output
Setting: 1:1
Output: The same flash drive, containing information about the programming language D#, stored in a .txt file.
Note: After conversing with Laskenta, he says it is probably something called Doge Sharp. After we compared both languages, we are in consensus. The information does not describe Doge Sharp, it instead describes D#. It appears to be some hybrid of the C# and D languages, something that does not yet exist. - R.A. Walker
Test 914-1168
Name: Researcher Laskenta; D-96907
Date: 29/10/2019
Total Items: Three tea sets, each including: a teapot, a creamer, a bowl, a pitcher, a small plate, four cups and a metal tray.
Note: I have grown a liking to tea in the past few days, as my coffee-filled days are stressful enough. Tea can really calm you down. - Laskenta
Input: One tea set
Setting: 1:1
Output: A massive ceramic tray and a miniature metal tea set, non-anomalous. The masses of the input and the output match.
Input: One tea set
Setting: Fine
Output: One metal and nine ceramic figurines, representing the letter 'T', non-anomalous.
Input: One tea set
Setting: Very Fine
Output: One ceramic sphere on the (unchanged) metal tray. Placing the sphere on a tray with a tea set (composed out of the items used in the test) results in an anomalous effect, that fills the teapot with hot tea, the creamer with milk, the bowl with sugar, and the plate with lemons or limes. Placing the sphere on a tray with a tea set (composed out of the items used in the test) results in a cognitohazard that affects everybody who intends to drink tea from the tea set. Affected subjects will believe that the set was filled with fluids and fruits that belong into a tea set. Instead, the teapot will fill with SCP-2649-A. Both outputs have been destroyed.
Note: What I took from that test is: Tea can calm you down as long as you don't put it into 914. No further comment. - Laskenta
Test 914-1209
Name: Researcher Laskenta; D-48962
Date: 12/11/2019
Total Items: Three electronic calculators
Note: As anomalous numbers normally represent a threat and it is not unlikely that 914 will produce such output, I got two members of Θ-90 as a security measurement. - Laskenta
Input: One calculator
Setting: Fine
Output: An abacus, made out of plastics and metal. The materials match the input. Non-anomalous.
Input: One calculator
Setting: Fine
Output: An abacus. The individual parts of this output are constructed from different materials than they were in the previous output, but the dimensions are identical.
Note: It is highly unusual for 914 to repeat its outputs. I will further investigate both results and deem both as anomalous for the time being. Even if there is a good chance that 914 messes with us again. - Laskenta
Input: One calculator
Setting: Very Fine
Output: The input, with five additional buttons, labelled "StA 1", "StA 2", "LfA 1", "LfA 2" and "Introduce" respectively. Pressing one of the two "StA" buttons will cause an anomalous effect that moves one of the above created abaci into the state that represents the value shown on the display of this output. Pressing one of the two "LfA" buttons will paste a value shown on one of the abaci onto the output. Pressing the "Introduce" button results in an anomalous effect that introduces the sum of the values shown on both abaci to the set of natural numbers. Pressing the "Introduce" button results in a cognitohazardous sound that affects every human that hears the button being pressed. Affected subjects will believe that the sum of the values shown on both abaci has been added to the set of natural numbers until they are reminded that the sum of two natural numbers will lead to another existing natural number.
Test 914-1284
Name: Researcher Laskenta; D-48838
Date: 02/12/2019
Total Items: Five notes, which read different statements; five pencils
Note: We had some friendly discussions in the break room since Researcher Connolly brought tea to the coffee table. And since some statements have been proven by esoteric math, I decided to give 914 a go. After all, 914 is all about interpretation. -Laskenta
Input: A note, reading $Tea > Coffee$, and one pencil
Setting: 1:1
Output: A note, reading $Tea \lesseqgtr Coffee$, and one pencil
Input: A note, reading $Tea \stackrel{?}{=} Coffee$, and one pencil
Setting: Fine
Output: A note, reading $=Coftea?$, and a small mug, made from the materials of the pencil. Due to the fragility of the mug, its handle has been broken by the D-Class while they inspected it.
Input: A note, reading $\iiint Tea = Coffee$, and one pencil
Setting: Fine
Output: A small folded paper cube. The faces show the letters C-O-F-F-E-E respectively. The cube can neither be opened nor be damaged by any known means. Different attempts to look inside the cube have met with inconsistent results, all of which are related to tea (e.g. the word "Tea" written all over the inside, or an anomalously floating representation of tea leaves made from paper). One used pencil.
Note: Attempts to look into the inside of the cube included bright light, X-rays, and N-rays. -Laskenta
Input: A note, reading $(Coffee~Table \nVdash Coffee) ∧ (Tea \stackrel{∧}{=} Coffee)$, and one pencil
Setting: Fine
Output: A pencil with a note attached to it, which reads $C \not\subset \not\supset T$. Trying to mix Tea and Coffee in the same room as the output will lead to both fluids disappearing upon contact with each other. The output will anomalously reform itself after being destroyed or disassembled, when unobserved.
Input: A note, reading $(Coffee \not\equiv Tea) ∧ (Tea ≣ Coffee)$, and one pencil
Setting: Very Fine
Output: A note, reading $\{Coffee, Tea\} \nexists$. Tea NOT PRECEDE LOGICAL OR NOT SUCCEED Coffee. Coffee, Tea INFINITY.
Coffee: Objects NOT CONTAIN AS A MEMBER THE SET OF Coffee, Tea. Coffee PROPORTIONAL TO Tea NOT PARALLEL TO this. - Tea
Test 914-1327
Name: Researcher Laskenta; D-78607
Date: 24/12/2019
Total Items: Several damaged memory devices
Note: Like last time, all used items belong to Foundation personnel, who asked me to retrieve their data. Since all data-recovery failed and the data is not important enough to use other anomalous machinery, I will use 914 as my very last attempt to get the files back. -Laskenta
Input: One Foundation flash drive (USB 3.1 Stick; 128GB), comminuted
Setting: Fine
Output: A mended circuit board. The fractures have been moulded together using a combination of the plastic from the hull and the metal from the socket. Since the board is missing any inlet, no data can be read from it.
Addendum: A socket has been soldered onto the test result to further inspect it. The output is a fully functional data storage device with 128GB of storage space. It includes a partition encoded with the default Foundation filesystem without any data. No anomalous features have been found.
Input: One Foundation external hard drive (backup drive; 4TB), damaged by hot punch
Setting: Fine
Output: A device constructed out of the materials from the input. The output consists of a metallic box and a plastic bowl on top of the box. Any attempt to open the box or scan its insides has met with failure. The bowl can only be filled with punch; any other non-gaseous object will be repelled by anomalous means. Any punch filled into the bowl will anomalously abscond at a speed of ~50ml/sec. While the bowl is filled with punch, one of two sounds (914Hz & 9140Hz) will emanate from the inside of the box. The sequence in which the sounds play correlates with the bits originally saved on the input. To get all information back that has been stored on the input it would need 6.87hm³ (Cubic hectometres) of punch and more than 4000 years.
Note: The next test includes a perfectly functional RAM. I have been asked by ███ ███████, who forgot to save their latest protocol, to recover this document for them. Despite several attempts to explain that the recovery is almost impossible, they have insisted on this test. -Laskenta
Input: One Foundation double data rate synchronous dynamic random-access memory (16GB)
Setting: Fine
Output: One disk constructed out of the materials from the input, representing a fragile round business card CD. The output is anomalously capable of storing around 560EB (Exabytes) of data. The test result contains a .txt file with instructions in at least 58 different languages to save data in at least 84 different programs and operating systems. To date no other anomalous features have been found.
Note: Permission to give this to ███ ███████, when the check-up is finished and no sensitive/anomalous data was found? -Laskenta
Note: Granted, if Rosen allows it. - Veritas
Test 914-1425
Name: Researcher Laskenta; D-78607
Date: 02/02/2020
Total Items: Between two and three copies of a completed game of Nomic with 894 active and 305 removed rules, each stored on a separate Foundation flash drive (USB 3.1 Stick; 128GB).
Note: This game of Nomic evolved into a game of winning tabletop games, where the winner got to create two rules and the others had to choose between them. The game was far away from being completed normally, but a player introduced a paradox on purpose and thus won. - Laskenta
Input: One flash drive
Setting: 1:1
Output: The same flash drive. Rule №120
The introducer of a rule that is in itself or creates within the structure of all rules a paradox is the immediate winner of the game if the rule is not removed within a week or two rounds of the game (whatever happens last) and the introducer is informing the rest of the players after the first condition has been met.
has been altered to
The introducer of a rule that is in itself or creates within the structure of all rules a paradox is to be removed from the game by telling them they won and the game is concluded, as they are purposely ending the iteration.
Note: Radical approach. This would, of course, not work as the "winner" would know about this rule. Also, it would take away the circumspection that usually rises while playing the game. - Laskenta
Input: One flash drive
Setting: Fine
Output: The same flash drive. It contains a programme that periodically outputs changes to the initial set of rules in four different colour. It has been hypothesised that each colour represents a player in a game of Nomic. The source of the software can not read by any known means. The software can only run on one machine at a time, even when copied. After the programme has been stopped on one system and started on any other it will resume to the point where it stopped, even when the stopped and the started instances of the programme are not the same.
Addendum: After the first game in the programme concluded through a "demdonic[sic] vote" (Refer to document 914-1425/A §R671) each player outputted a dot. Afterwards, a new game started with seven different players.
Because of a paradox in the set of introduced rules, the test that would come now has no influence on this reality but this message. - SCP-914, for the purpose of this message
Test 914-1465
Name: Researcher Laskenta; D-13493; D-13477
Date: 24/02/2020
Total Items: One standard Foundation digital multimeter, one English dictionary
Input: One multimeter, one dictionary
Setting: Fine
Output: One book titled "Senior Researcher Kai's guide to proper grammar and spelling etiquette for dummies", one object visually representing a multimeter with no label besides "On" and "Off". The book describes common writing mistakes, goes into the topic of clinical writing and introduces a measurement unit, called Cay, which describes "the amount of psychological force one exerts on another while proof-reading". The following table is an excerpt from the book that gives points of reference for the unit.
| Amount of Cay | Equivalent |
|---|---|
| 0 | No proof-reading happening |
| 1 | Friendly feedback that the other thankfully receives |
| 10 | The above, but with many points to discuss |
| 100 | Getting friendly feedback as an insecure person |
| 1000 | Default amount of Cay on social media |
The tone of the book suggests that Cay is a matter of judgment, however, the multimeter is anomalously able to measure Cay when holding the test prods close to two people in a state of giving or receiving feedback about a written creation respectively when turned on. The display consists out of four seven-segment numbers and is therefore able to measure any number of Cay between 9999 and 0 (see Addendum 1). The book was deemed non-anomalous.
Addendum 1: An amount of negative 14 Cay has been measured with the test result when D-13493 showed no sign of interest in D-13477's feedback regarding an essay that has been created for testing purposes.
Addendum 2: The output ceased to work at 24/02/2020 12:59 UTC until 24/02/2020 13:46 when it first showed a value of 9726 Cay on the display. This value rapidly decreased until two minutes later, when it reached zero again. The time matches the time frame in which Intern Beauvillier reported to Junior Researcher Kai about his most recent test. Upon questioning, Beauvillier described the meeting as "getting destroyed by [J.R. Kai's] wrath".
Test 914-1494
Name: Laskenta
Date: 12032020
All: Empty flash drive
In: Flash drive
Set: Fine
Out: Plastic metal cube. Infohazard. Spreading. Less word use in description. Destroyed. Infohazard remained. Laskenta stopped test.
Test 914-1555
Name: Researcher Laskenta; D-53125
Date: 14/04/2020
Total Items: Several damaged memory devices
Note: Like any other time, all used items belong to Foundation personnel, who asked me to retrieve their data. Since all data-recovery failed and the data is not important enough to use other anomalous machinery, I will use 914 as my very last attempt to get the files back. - Laskenta
Input: A Foundation flash drive (USB 3.1 Stick; 128GB), damaged by dust
Setting: Fine
Output: The input, cleaned, and a tiny pile of dust. The drive is defective and shows signs of water damage, despite the absence of any fluid.
Input: A Foundation flash drive (microSD card; SDUC; 4TB), data lost through a teleportation malfunction
Setting: Fine
Output: A male TRS connector (2.5mm) with a small plastic base. Connecting the test result to a matching female socket has met with failure, due to self-creating spacial anomalies which prevent the output to match the dimensions of the socket. However, it was possible to connect the output into a microSD card slot, due to the same reason. All tested operating systems have identified the result as audio in- and output device with the name "Dead End". No further information has been found. Using it as a speaker or as a microphone does not produce any measurable result.
Input: Two Foundation hard drives (HDD; 32GB), part of a RAID 5 array of five drives, three of which are lost
Setting: Fine
Output: The input, formatted to be a complete RAID 0 array. The output stores a single text-based file. Said file contains the physical address and the file path to an animation stored on a private drive of Prof. Sun from Site-███, who never came into contact with SCP-914, the input, nor anybody who otherwise stood in connection with the input. Neither the test result nor the animation holds any anomalous feature. A copy of the animation has been appended for protocolling purposes (Refer to document 914-1555/A).
Note: There are GoIballs? - J.R. Koop
Note: Looking at a Fifthist Church logo in the style of Polandball, rolling across the screen, is oddly satisfying. - JR Reimer
Test 914-1642
Name: Researcher Laskenta; D-38557
Date: 12/07/2020
Total Items: Several mobile phones, damaged by test result 914-1592-1
Note: After two months of replacing equipment and data-recovery - plus the associated paperwork - in which I worked closely with E&TS, we are left with some devices that were either deemed unnecessary to repair by the owner, administration, or - in Marcopus' case - will not be repaired because of obvious reasons. - Laskenta
Input: A Nokia 7.1 (64GB + 128GB microSDXC card), belonging to Researcher Marcopus
Setting: Fine
Output: The input, separated into a pile of electronics and the rest of the device, assembled. The pile consists solely of components affected by 914-1592-1. During analysis, the device was bootable without the need to replace the missing electronic components. The output proceeded with regular start-up processes until prompting for R. Marcopus' passphrase. After submitting said password, the test result started to play Lemon Tree from Fool's Garden for exactly two minutes, before repeating the last line on loop indefinitely. The output was incinerated after eleven minutes of observation; the isolated pile of affected components was also destroyed after the analysis was complete.
Input: An iPhone 8 (256GB), belonging to Junior Researcher Boneka
Setting: Fine
Output: An almost perfect grey sphere with tiny white dots, made out of the components from the input. The only imperfection observable without the use of visual aids is a camera lens. Touching the sphere causes an internal sensor to measure the change of capacitance and activate a portion of the former display, which lies directly under the lens. This projects a snake, drawn in J.R. Boneka's art style, onto close surfaces. J.R. Boneka stated that she had drawn "this snake as a doodle" on her phone once.
Addendum: The projected picture contains a minor cognitohazard that compels subjects to replace the operating systems of their personal devices with an open-source alternative and study the software excessively. The output was forcefully disassembled.
Input: A Nokia 3310 3G (2017 version; Dual SIM; 128MB + 16GB microSDHC card), belonging to Junior Researcher Kai
Setting: Fine
Output: An object, resembling a counterfeit Nokia 3310 (2000 version). Turning on the device result in the phrases "Basically", "Available", "Soft state" and "Eventual consistency" listed on the screen. These attributes are the components of BASE, a consistency model used in distributed computing to achieve high availability. Further study on the relation between the input, the output and the concept of BASE is needed.
Note: The opposite of eventual consistency is ACID (atomicity, consistency, isolation, durability). I think we don't need to study a third isolation-pun. - Laskenta
Test 914-1824
Name: Researcher Laskenta
Date: 21/06/2021
Total Items: Three USB drives, each containing different photographs of Researcher Laskenta's office
Note: Standard Foundation cryptography can be compromised within less than ten minutes by 914, as test 914-1822 showed. As such, attempting to compromise other algorithms could give us an insight, if 914 is exploiting security vulnerabilities or using anomalous methods and could tell us if our algorithm is flawed. - Laskenta
Input: One USB drive as above, encrypted with RC4, an algorithm with severe security flaws
Setting: 1:1
Output: The input, encrypted with a different RC4 key. In a non-anomalous context, this is only possible by compromising or knowing the key. The photograph of Researcher Laskenta's office was found unaltered after breaking the new encryption.
Input: One USB drive as above, encrypted with AES, the standard encryption for classified documents in the USA
Setting: 1:1
Output: A plastic and metal plate, made out of the input. Several diagrams, taken from the Federal Information Processing Standards Publication 197, the document in which AES is defined, are engraved into the output. As all data has been lost, it is impossible to draw conclusions about SCP-914's cryptographic abilities.
Input: One USB drive as above, encrypted with one-time pad, an encryption technique that cannot be cracked with non-anomalous methods
Setting: 1:1
Output: The inputted USB drive, containing no coherent data. It is hypothesised that the content has been encrypted with a different one-time pad key, however, this cannot be proven. As it is equally probable that SCP-914 replaced the encrypted photograph with unreadable data, no conclusions can be drawn from this output as well.
Note: We- I didn't think this through when I scheduled only three tests. - Laskenta
Test 914-1831
Name: Researcher Laskenta
Date: 30/07/2021
Total Items: One oscilloscope, one paperback copy of Justin Kruger and David Dunning's Unskilled and unaware of it. How difficulties in recognizing one’s own incompetence lead to inflated self-assessments.
Input: Aforementioned items
Setting: Fine
Output: A single, circular sheet of music titled "Veritas' Ode to Disappointment" consisting out of fourteen rings of musical staves without any indication of beginning nor end, and one object resembling an oscilloscope. All knobs, levers, switches or similar inputs on the object, with the exception of the power switch and power cord, have been rendered unmovable or blocked. Turning the object on will result in different songs to be played and a matching oscillogram being displayed. It is currently hypothesised that the calmness of the song's genre is proportional to one or several traits of the subject that turned the object on. Such traits could include:
- Foresight, or lack thereof
- Amount of casualties or injuries responsible for, or inversely, the avoided amount
- Likeliness or unlikeliness of being an example for the Dunning-Kruger effect
- Professionalism, level of education, training, or lack thereof, in a certain field or in general
- The probability for a hypothetical event with an exaggerated outcome to happen because of the subject's influence
Due to the mostly immeasurable nature of the listed traits, the hypothesis remains unprovable.
Addendum: D-96807, who has musical experience, has been asked to play the music recorded on the first output on an instrument of their choice. The sheet has been positioned on a turntable for D-96807's convenience. Neither playing the rings consecutively nor playing a certain ring repeatedly has resulted in any anomalous event.
Test 914-0642
Name: Guest Researcher Pukotta; D-54121
Date: 23/04/2019
Total Items: Twenty-one loaded dice
Input: Six loaded dice
Setting: Fine
Output: A miniature colourless magic cube. The sides are distinguished by varying weights instead of the usual coloured stickers. 113 pips are chaotically distributed over all sides of the output and do not correspond to the weight of the cubies.
Input: Five loaded dice
Setting: Fine
Output: Fifty small quadratic plates made out of the same synthetic material as the input. Each of them features an engraved copy of the faces of the playing card deck Industrie und Glück, traditionally used in the Austro-Hungarian Empire to play Tarock. The four kings of the original deck do not appear in the output.
Input: Four loaded dice
Setting: Fine
Output: A loaded gömböc, resembling model 400. Eighty-four pips are distributed unequally on the two sides which are facing upwards on the original gömböc 400. Due to the output's uneven distribution of mass, it is not considered a proper gömböc. Additionally, the test result stands on one of the dotted faces in its resting state.
Input: Three loaded dice
Setting: Fine
Output: A polyhedron with eighteen faces of different area and shape. The output can not be used as a proper 18-sided die, due to its irregular form. 153 pips are distributed evenly on the sides of the test result and correspond inversely proportional to the area of the face they are printed onto.
Input: Two loaded dice
Setting: Fine
Output: One white solid and one black hollow dice. The total mass of the output is equal to the total mass of the input. Both dice contain a cognitohazard on one face. Subjects, who directly touch the cognitohazardous face and lift the die, conjecture the die to be loaded. This effect is reversible by touching the die anywhere else and lifting it. Neither die is loaded or dotted.
Input: One loaded die
Setting: Fine
Output: A ball with a single dot printed onto it.
Note: I have to admit, I am disappointed in 914's last output. The five outputs before this were interesting and took different takes on the concept of the input, but this "one-sided die"… 914 ran dry of ideas. - Guest Researcher Pukotta
Test 914-1840
Name: Researcher Laskenta
Date: 12/10/2021
Total Items: Three USB drives, each containing a copy of the puzzle browser game Bloxorz
Input: One aforementioned USB drive
Setting: Very Fine
Output: A USB drive, shaped like a lightning bolt, containing a self-containing infohazard which affects information transfer (see document 914-1840/A) containing itself by retroactively incorporating pauses, such as commas and occasionally brackets, so that sectional word counts, representing Bloxorz' passcodes, are reached. Intrainformationally, the text inside brackets, such as seen in the previous infohazardous sentence above, represents one holistic pause and is not affected hereby. Digits are disregarded by the infohazard entirely. This output description represents the following passcodes: 300590 665321 499707
Input: One aforementioned USB drive
Setting: Fine
Output: The same drive, containing a puzzle game named Bloyorw. Just as in the input, an orthotope is moved through levels by rotating it each time a button corresponding to a direction in the level is pressed towards a certain hole in the ground, which is to be reached in an upright permutation. However, the 2D platform on which the 3D cuboid is situated has been replaced with a 3D platform on which a 4D hyperrectangle resides.
Input: One aforementioned USB drive
Setting: 1:1
Output: The input, rotated to stand upright on its USB port.
Input: Previous output, in the same permutation
Setting: 1:1
Output: The input, rotated to lay on one of the narrower sides.
Input: Previous output, in the same permutation
Setting: 1:1
Output: The input, cleanly cut into two pieces. The output is hypothesised to represent the "cut-button" mechanic from Bloxorz, however, the pieces do not anomalously merge when connected to each other.
Test 914-1849
Name: Researcher Laskenta
Date: 23/10/2021
Total Items: Three printed copies of test log 914-1688
Input: One of the aforementioned copies
Setting: Fine
Output: One origami model resembling [DATA LOST].
Input: One of the aforementioned copies
Setting: Fine
Output: One scientific paper regarding the chemistry of nylon 66 and one detailed but inaccurate description about logic gates. The only correct explanation in the latter text regards NAND gates.
Note: [DATA LOST]
Input: One of the aforementioned copies
Setting: Very Fine
Output: A perpetually changing object, resembling a random item which stores the entire information about test 914-1688 at any given time. Due to this effect, any knowledge, record, or other direct information about test 914-1688, other than its identification, has been lost, no new memory can be formed, and no copies of the information can be created. Researcher Laskenta and D-47804 have been found in an discombobulated state in Research Cell 109-B after the security system detected an unauthorised use of SCP-914, but have not suffered from any impairment to their health since then.
Addendum: The CCTV footage of Anomalous Storage - Shelf J2, starting at 19/08/2020 11:29 local time - has been noted be absent. It is currently hypothesised that the output of test 914-1688 has been stored within the viewing range of the camera. As no description about the output and the reason for its containment can currently be obtained, Director of Containment Dr. Norwood ordered Shelf J2 to be isolated, both in order to prevent the anomaly from causing accidents and to subsequently relocate the output.
