Per 
not here rn just leaving this for when i inevitably want to be a writer again
been a while, huh. this is just a reminder to myself to be nice and that it's ok to be melodramatic. have fun.
This is pretty much done. I've moved on to iteration two this idea has been saved as something else, but I'll keep this because of fuckin' course my packrat ass is gonna keep it. for posterity.
uh so this might just be a crappy idea execution.
-not interesting; no connections can be made and too complex
-no story
maybe i can write it better, but at present this sucks
best bet for this idea is the toys-r-us anti-bankruptcy plan thing
Item #: Pineapple
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be contained in a standard storage locker in Storage Site-22, located underneath a shopping centre that includes a “Super Cool Playzone!” novelty shop and Foundation front company. Under no circumstances are children allowed into Storage Site-22. In the event of a containment breach, agents are authorized up to $XX,XXX for recontainment; should SCP-XXXX’s price exceed this amount, shoplifting is permitted.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a yellow stuffed pineapple, approximately 0.7 meters in height. Its distinguishing features are a smiling face and a tag (See addendum Pineapple-1). SCP-XXXX’s primary anomalous property manifests when a prepubescent child takes notice of it. The child (henceforth referred to as SCP-XXXX-1-A) will request that their accompanying guardian (henceforth SCP-XXXX-1-B) purchases it; this request will always be approved. Upon completion of the transaction, SCP-XXXX will vanish and relocate to the nearest store that sells toys similar to itself. SCP-XXXX-1-A and -B will proceed to this store and purchase SCP-XXXX once more. This pattern will repeat indefinitely; after the first purchase, SCP-XXXX’s secondary property is activated. Each time the item is purchased, its price will increase an exponential amount. Furthermore, SCP-XXXX-1-B will always produce enough money to successfully purchase the item.
There does not seem to be a maximum price that SCP-XXXX will reach; it is theorized that an uncontained SCP-XXXX would quickly become expensive enough to significantly damage the world’s economy. SCP-XXXX was discovered on XX/XX/17, after it was discovered being sold for ▉.▉ trillion dollars. Fortunately, the establishment in question was a Foundation front; the transaction was nullified and all witnesses were amnesticized. However, due to mishandling, the object’s effect was again activated. Agent Smith quickly resolved the situation by simply entering the store and removing the object; theft seems to be the most effective means of containing SCP-XXXX.
Addendum Pineapple-1:
god damn it just make a forum post already
idea maybe
anomalous toy company going out of business - they try to get some quick cash by using the skip but get squished by wondertainment. (spooky bringing in an established thing but whatever) theme of "why bother" - irony?? "damn im never gonna be as popular as wondertainment" but is investigated as a goi???
This only gets its own tab lol this doesnt have a tab anymore because of how goddamn much I wrote for it
this is the next iteration of the pineapple idea. the main reasons for this are:
- to create a story to engage a reader
- and to give the reader something to connect with.
this failed the first time; i fell into the "generic magical item" hole.
I AM NOT WRITING A DRAFT UNTIL I POST TO THE FORUMS.
this section of the document is purely for the sake of spitballing right now.
okay, so i lied and I'm just gonna write one. just to gauge how well i can still write. i could never write in the first place
Object-8888-15
Object appears as is a red yo-yo; found with corresponding blueprint entitled "Walkin' Yo". When operated, object hovers a minute distance away from a surface, giving the appearance of the trick known as "walking the dog". Object will maintain this state until retracted. If manipulated, the object is capable of hovering next to walls or under ceilings, giving the impression of 'sticking'. Blueprint is dated 9/24/XX; Dr. Wondertainment released a similar product several weeks later, on 11/4/XX.
Note found on the back of the blueprint follows:
Yeah they took the fidget spinner too. Dude we gotta get some better stuff goin on. Kids like yoyos right? Maybe we should make it a dog or something? Look if they steal this one I'd say we should just quit for a while and regroup. Please tell me how your project is going I'm losing motivation.
Note is accompanied by various sketches of yo-yos with canine features, as well as a crude sketch of what appears to be SCP-8888 with the note "does this look ok?".
Issues
If Wondertainment doesn't respect them, why steal their stuff?
like-a-week-later me checking in to say i hate this. so. god. damn. much. still keeping it for posterity tho
no. i am not skilled enough of an author to write this, nor is this likely a novel concept.
keter plus humanoid plus maybe thaumiel? and tack on human dialogue? this is just so i don't forget, in case i manage to lose my incompetence.
copy of a mobile task force that shows up in dangerous situations. yeah. that's it. maybe they're all coy about being anomalous. "yeah were anomalous but so is the big 'ol thing eating your face"
ugh i kind of hate it, but hell, maybe an attempt would help me learn how to write dialogue.
normal-sized spider but with legs that can extend up to/are several meters long. wants to hug everyone. when it hugs someone the legs get longer. it wants to hug everyone. what the fuuuuck i am not okay
DAMN IT, IT MIGHT BE GOOD
it can telepathically speak to those it hugs. the twist is it's described as really creepy but it's genuinely really nice, like it speaks in the way ppl are most comfy. like some people it just hums a nice song or to ppl accustomed to online chat it speaks in emoticons
SON OF A BITCH I REALLY LIKE IT
story goes that you start by thinking it's creepy but it's really a genuinely benevolent creature. maybe the staff gets more comfortable with it as time goes on???
doesn't interact with ppl with arachnophobia
has to be a super deadly spider because ofc it does (brazilian wandering spider? maybe too obvious - black widow/brown recluse or smthn?
I hereby declare this line of thinking HALTED until at LEAST the twenty-second, where I may finally post to the goddamn forums.
hi it's me from after the weekend what the fuck?
yeah fuck you mister bold
it has come to my attention that, as it turns out, this site is for stories. with, like, parts? so. narrative.
General storyline:
So this spider shows up, yeah? But it likes to hug people. 'Cept it can only fit around folks' wrist. But, every time it hugs someone, its legs get longer? (So it can hug everyone one day) (This might be unnecessary) And it turns out that despite being a deadly breed of spider it actually is just a genuinely benevolent force. [Also maybe it's telepathic to the people it hugs, and says nice things? idk this is insane anyways] So the researchers make friends with the little dude, n that's the test logs/ rising action. SO for the climax, maybe this one rookie in a task force gets separated, and ends up in the Spider Room. and he's freaking out but the spider gives the dude a hug and he goes off with the power of friendship and Vanquishes ALL OF The BAD GUYS. this is fucking stupid this is ALL stupid you dumbass
thought of this in the shower- courtest of 11 o clock me on my phone
something that musically harmonizes with itself. maybe it can just do that? maybe its whole respiratory system or whatevs is split in half so it can talk twice at the same time?
DO NOT COPY/PASTE WITHOUT DOUBLE-CHECKING
i know you will try, dumbass the self-deprecation isn't nearly as endearing as i seem to think
Seeking Greenlights: Yes
Page Type: SCP Article
Elevator Pitch: Starts off as a really, really expensive stuffed pineapple, but the addenda tell the story of a competitor to Dr. Wondertainment.
Central Narrative:The tag of the pineapple leads the Foundation to study the makers as a potential GOI. As they find more anomalous objects (most not worth being classified) the toy makers and their rather one-sided struggle with Wondertainment is revealed.
Essentially, they figured there was a place in the market for a competitor to Dr. Wondertainment, and they opted to fill that niche. However, Wondertainment has a corner on the market and basically just steals any novel ideas they have. The pineapple is a last-ditch effort to save themselves from bankruptcy. Ultimately, the trail goes cold after they give up, but there remains the possibility of them actually being hired by Wondertainment.
Thematically, I want to explore raging against the machine, so to speak. Specifically, the feeling of spite you get trying to fight something that doesn't even notice you. This will be resolved with the toymakers pulling back and ceasing their battle with Wondertainment, at which point they most likely find success. Kind of like if you disengage from that fight irl you can actually do something about it? idk
Hook/Attention-Grabber: Doctor Wondertainment has competitors.
Additional Notes: Please let me know if this is similar to another article. I'm probably gonna press on anyways, but I'd like to know if I need to avoid any specific themes. I'm also not super familiar with Wondertainment, so please let me know if theft corporate espionage is out-of-character for them.
ANOMALOUS OBJECT PRACTICE
Beware! Shitty writing ahead! Unhelpful. Also just rude.
AOP-1; 10/1/20
Object resembles a hand-rolled cigarette. When lit, object will only burn to one centimeter of length; object will then extinguish and slowly reconstitute. Object can be re-lit at any time during regeneration but will not burn past one centimeter. When consumed, object induces poetic tendencies; these include an affinity for writing poetry, an affinity for reading poetry, and a tendency to look down upon other forms of literature. AOP-1 does not provide any outstanding improvement to quality of writing.
Incident AOP-1-A
On [REDACTED], D-1471 was reported missing from his cell. Several minutes later, he was found wandering the hallways of Wing-C; subject was in an advanced state of delirium and was wearing a set of clothes that remain yet unidentified. D-1471 requested the presence of [REDACTED]; no personnel of that name were employed on-site. D-1471 shortly expired. Cause of death is uncertain and little consensus could be reached; proposed causes are brain hemorrhage, advanced dehydration, or alcohol poisoning. It should be noted that D-1471 was the subject of a long-term test of AOP-1.
AOP-2; 10/1/20
Object resembles a plastic hand mirror. When a subject views themselves in the reflection, one article of their clothing will appear modified. These modifications have universally been described as a distinct improvement to the appearance of the clothing in question. All viewers will see the same changes. The "improvements" are attractive to anyone viewing them. This has been determined not to be anomalous; the changes are simply a universal improvement.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm approving the "lab coat racing stripe" plan. Normally, this would be far too frivolous to take seriously, but damn does it look good. -Site Director G
This next one is to practice the 'clinical tone'. floating rock
AOP-3; 10/8/20
AOP-2 is a stone rectangle, measuring 20x5x60 centimeters. Primary composition is orthoclase feldspar. The primary anomaly of the object activates when one of six phrases is spoken out loud (See Addendum AOP-2-A). Upon activation, the object will rise to a height of 0.5 m and begin to spin rapidly. Speeds are inconsistent, but measure between 60 and 1,120 RPM.
Addendum AOP-3-1; 10/9/20
"Egad! I believe you've gone mad!"
"Gadzooks! You're giving me the spooks!"
"By jove! You're something that I loathe!"
"Gee willikers! This is getting sillikers!"
"Gorblimey! The situation's getting slimy!"
"Odds-bodkins! I don't know what that means!"
Addendum AOP-3-2; 10/12/20
Alright, which fuckin' joker replaced the activation phrases with song lyrics? Y'all know it's my job on the line, here. - Researcher Busklin
Addendum AOP-3-3; 10/12/20
Researcher Busklin has been fired. Good riddance, he was the last one with knowledge of [SECURITY BREACH DETECTED, NONLOCAL COMMUNICATIONS DISABLED]
Addendum AOP-3-4; 10/13/20
Wiresapper Ur'[REDACTED] has been fired. fachdamned drama matriarch
formatting practice zone
----- makes line
TEXT SIZE SMALLLLL
you can't kill me
