Item #: SCP-5210
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5210 is to be kept in a standard containment cell. This cell is to have 4 automated tranquilizer guns loaded with darts containing no less than 10 ml of carfentanil. SCP-5210 is to be restrained using a 3-meter chain pinned to the center of the cell. No visual recording devices of any kind are to be allowed inside the containment cell. Any personnel caught attempting to do so will be reprimanded after clearing a psych evaluation.
Once every 7 days, a Class-D personnel who does not suffer from any severe visual impairments must enter the cell alone. The individual will interact with SCP-5210 for 12 hours before being fired on by the automated tranquilizer guns. 4 blindfolded personnel will then enter the cell to retrieve the individual. SCP-5210 will make no attempts to escape or to harm these personnel. Personnel may, however, make physical contact with the entity, either through accident or the entity intentionally initiating. Agents should be aware that this poses no threat and should not be alarmed.
Description: SCP-5210 is an anomalous entity resembling a male golden labrador approximately 2 months old. SCP-5210 does not appear to physically age. SCP-5210 may be immune to traditional physical harm, although this has not been confirmed as testing this trait is not advised (see interview log).
SCP-5210's primary anomalous trait is a cognitohazard that activates when anyone views it. Those who directly view it will feel an overwhelming urge to pet the anomaly, play with it, call it "a good boy", and perform various other archetypal tasks traditionally associated with interacting with a puppy. Those affected by SCP-5210 will not cease these activities until they are unable to continue looking at SCP-5210. Natural blinking will create a vague sense of unease, but will not be enough to free an individual from the cognitohazard (see addendum 5210-2). Those who have survived interaction with SCP-5210 describe having at the time believed it was their greatest life experience and that no other experience could ever be greater.
Viewing SCP-5210 through video, live-footage, or photographs will cause similar feelings of adoration and will cause the affected individual to express an extreme desire to meet and interact with SCP-5210 in person. Affected individuals will also become aware of SCP-5210's location. These effects also end when the individual no longer sees SCP-5210's depiction.
Should SCP-5210 go more than 8 days without direct human interaction equal to or exceeding 12 consecutive hours, its cognitohazardous ability will affect individuals even if they cannot visually see the entity. These individuals will instinctively know the location of SCP-5210 and will attempt to reach its location as quickly as possible using any available means of transportation. The range of this cognitohazard rapidly expands. It is not currently known if there are limits to the range, but it has been demonstrated to be able to cover over 40 km.
Addendum 5210-1
Recovery Log: SCP-5210 was recovered on 3/18/2015. On 3/12/2018, the Foundation intercepted satellite images of the town of ███████, Wyoming, revealing that the inhabitants were dead. There were no signs of a struggle, of conventional weapon use, or of any known disease being responsible. A team of field agents was sent to investigate.
Agents reported seeing empty homes and empty streets. The doors to homes had been left open and no cars were present on any of the streets. After fifteen minutes, the agents found a street containing dozens of vehicles parked haphazardly, with several having crashed into each other around an alleyway. Several dead, emaciated bodies were found at the edge of the alleyway, with a large pile found inside the alley itself. It was later confirmed that the entire town population had died there.
While examining the bodies, Field Agent Hernandez reported having heard a whimpering sound coming from beneath the corpses at the end of the alley. After removing several corpses, SCP-5210 was discovered and seen by all agents present.
No contact was received for over two days. Given that the town of ███████ was a two-day drive from the nearest Foundation Facility, response time was delayed. Of the 6 agents sent, only Field Agent Hernandez returned. He was suffering from the effects of sleep deprivation and dehydration. SCP-5210 had been contained in the back of the transport truck. Field Agent Hernandez gave a brief explanation of SCP-5210's primary anomalous trait before passing out and being taken to the site ██ medical bay.
Addendum 5210-2
Interview Log:
Interviewed: Field Agent Hernandez
Interviewee: Dr. Burnstein
Foreward: Agent Hernandez has awoken after retrieving SCP-XXXX and is undergoing a psych evaluation.
<Begin log>
Agent Hernandez fiddles with his IV.
Agent Hernandez: I don't understand why this is necessary. It's not uncommon for things like this to happen in the field.
Dr. Burnstein: You know good and well why it's necessary. We don't fully understand the nature of the anomaly. It could still be affecting you now.
Agent Hernandez: It's out of my head now, Dr. My name is Agent Hernandez. I work for the SCP Foundation. My job is to help the Foundation Secure, Contain, and Protect. How's that?
Dr. Burnstein: You understand why that's not enough. You need to work with me. Help me understand what happened.
Agent Hernandez: Like I already said, the thing controls you when you look at it. It made us all dote on it like a child. That's all there is to it.
Dr. Burnstein: And what of the other agents? What of when it made you…
Agent Hernandez slams his fist on the table.
Agent Hernandez: It didn't make me do that. That's the only thing I did where I was in complete control.
Dr. Burnstein: Please, just walk me through it. What did it feel like being effected?
Agent Hernandez: Are you married?
Dr. Burnstein: I don't see the relevance of the question.
Agent Hernandez: I'm married. Got a 2-year old boy back home with a girl on her way.
Dr. Burnstein: Well, congratulations, I suppose, but please, stay on topic.
Agent Hernandez: I remember when I first saw her in her wedding dress. I thought I would never see anything so beautiful, so wonderful, ever again. But then we had our son. It was different, but seeing my boy in my wife's arms, I thought nothing could ever compare. And then I saw that thing. Suddenly, my wife and son were no better than dirt. They were trash. Nothing could compare to that thing, I thought.
Dr. Burnstein: Cognitohazards can overrule all logic and emotion. So this anomaly made you see it as desirable. Is that it?
Agent Hernandez: It was more than that. It's tough to explain. It looked like just a normal puppy. It rolled over, nuzzled, licked our hands, all that stuff. But I could feel something more sometimes. It was like it needed us. Like it desired us as much as we desired it. There was a hunger there. It might be from the blinking. I tried not to blink. I think we all did, but we couldn't stop ourselves. It wasn't enough for us to react or do anything before our eyes opened again, but it let me feel, if only for a moment.
Dr. Burnstein: And this went on for several days? Tell me, did you feel tired? Hungry? Or did it remove those feelings?
Agent Hernandez: I still felt all of it. I just powered through it. We all did. I honestly didn't know I had it in me, but I pushed through the pain, the hunger, all of it. The hardest was the smell. The bodies, they were just starting to decompose when we arrived. And we were sitting on them. Literally sitting on these bloating corpses. The fluids, we just sat in them, let them soak into our clothes, into our skin. I wanted to retch, but I didn't. I fought it so I could keep petting that thing.
Dr. Burnstein: What did break you free? I need details. You claim you were in control of yourself when you apprehended the anomaly.
Agent Hernandez: Here's the thing. I'm not allergic to dogs. I don't think I would have made it past a second date with my wife if I couldn't be around dogs. She's obsessed with them. I'm telling you this because I honestly don't know what made me sneeze. But I did, and I sneezed hard. It kept my eyes closed for just long enough for me to get back in control and keep them closed. So there I am, my eyes closed, body aching, this close to passing out, and my teammates are all still under its control. So I unholster my pistol, feel around for the thing, and fire three shots into it. I'm sure I hit it, but it didn't work. And that's when I felt it. I don't know how else to say it other than it felt dark. I hear Agent Willum. She's always loved dogs, so maybe this thing hit her harder than the rest of us. She says that I need to open my eyes and look. Her exact words were, "Look at him. He's such a good boy. He's the goodest wittle boy." Next thing I know, the agents are grabbing at my face. They're clawing at my face, trying to force my eyes open. I tried to fight them off, doctor, I swear I did. But I was so tired. I didn't have the energy. I couldn't fight, so I just started shooting. I emptied the clip just to be sure. Once it was just me and the thing, containing it was just a matter of dragging it and feeling around until I found the transport vehicle. It didn't really put up any resistance. I guess it got what it wanted.
Dr. Burnstein: I see. Well, as far as I am concerned, you are ready to return to active duty, but the higher-ups might want you to do a few more of these.
<END LOG>
Note: On 5/23/2018, Agent Hernandez was determined to be mentally unfit for duty after he was arrested by local authorities for having killed his family dogs as well as his neighbor's.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Containment Procedures: Since SCP-XXXX-1 has been in publication since 1802 and is considered historically significant, containment of all copies of SCP-XXXX-1 is not feasible. Instead, the focus should be on monitoring for instances of SCP-XXXX-2.
Both local and regional news agencies are to be monitored for rags-to-riches stories involving an individual gaining wealth in an unusual or illogical way. Economists are to monitor various global markets for signs of SCP-XXXX-2 activity.
Upon discovery of an instance of SCP-XXXX-2, agents are to be dispatched to SCP-XXXX-2's location. The instance of SCP-XXXX-2 is to be amnesticized and memetically inoculated to prevent them from rereading SCP-XXXX-1 in the future.
Description: SCP-XXXX-1 is the designation for any copy of the memoir "A Pickle for the Knowing Ones", written by known Level 3 reality bender Timothy Dexter. To most individuals, the memoir will appear incoherent, rambling, and nonsensical.
Certain individuals who read SCP-XXXX-1 will conclude that the book is well-written, sensible, and of high quality. There is a chance that these individuals will become instances of SCP-XXXX-2. The statistical likelihood of such an individual becoming an instance of SCP-XXXX-2 is directly related to the severity that the individual suffers from the Dunning-Kruger effect.
Instances of SCP-XXXX-2 are capable of subconsciously altering reality such that certain financial decisions made will result in profit for the individual. This ability manifests as a coincidence or series of coincidences leading to an unlikely scenario that allows SCP-XXXX-2 to profit. This ability will not manifest if the individual believes a financial decision is illogical and will not result in profit or if a financial decision is logical and would normally result in profit. The extent to which reality is affected is loosely correlated with the intended scale of the transaction. This does not preclude instances where the financial gain is disproportionately large when compared to the intended financial gain.
An instance of SCP-XXXX-2 will revert back into a normal human should they lose all memories associated with reading SCP-XXXX-1. This includes memories of specific quotes as well as more vague memories such as having enjoyed reading it. These individuals are capable of becoming an instance of SCP-XXXX-2 again if they reread SCP-XXXX-1 to completion.
SCP-XXXX was first discovered in 2015. The large influx of successful Instagram "influencers" prompted a Foundation investigation. It was discovered that a majority of the "influencers" possessed a copy of SCP-XXXX-1.
SUBJECT PROFILE
Classification: D-45683
Legal Name: Mark Rooker
Gender: Male
Age: 32
Convicted Crime(s): Armed Assault, Bank Robbery
Additional Notes: D-45683 was convicted due to DNA evidence found at the scene of the crime.
Test 1 - 11/02/2018
Experiment Description: D-45683 was provided a copy of SCP-XXXX-1 and instructed to read it. After completion, D-45683 was provided $1. A random researcher was then selected without being informed of the test. D-45683 was instructed to attempt to pay $1 for any two random coins found in the pocket of the researcher.
Results: D-45683 noted that SCP-XXXX-1 was incoherent and rambling. The transaction was carried out. D-45683 received two U.S. pennies. The final result was a net loss of $0.98.
SUBJECT PROFILE
Classification: D-45697
Legal Name: James Cockburn
Gender: Male
Age: 25
Convicted Crime(s): Armed Assault, Bank Robbery, Reckless Driving, Resisting Arrest
Additional Notes: D-45697 was convicted after a short car chase with local police authorities. D-45697 was reported to have thrown a banana peel at the police chasing him before stopping to mock them. Interviews and interrogations conducted indicate that D-45697 held a belief that the banana peel would have caused the police cars to spin out of control.
Test 1 - 11/09/2018
Experiment Description: Same as Experiment D-45683-1
Results: D-45697 noted that SCP-XXXX was fun, coherent, and even intelligent. The transaction was carried out. D-45697 received 2 1995 "double-dye" pennies. A researcher present during testing revealed that they were an avid coin collector and purchased the pennies from D-45697. The final result was a net gain of $38.98.
Additional Notes: The researcher was made aware that they could simply confiscate the pennies. The researcher still insisted on paying for them, stating that they felt it was unfair otherwise. It is unknown at this time if this is due to SCP-XXXX-2's abilities or the personal opinions of the researcher in question. Further testing required.
Test 2 - 11/16/2018
Experiment Description: Same as previous tests, with added instruction to carefully explain to D-45697 why profit was unlikely.
Results: D-45697 carried out the transaction despite stating that they believed it would fail. They received one U.S. nickel and one U.S. dime. The final result was a net loss of $0.85.
Test 5 - 12/07/2018
Experiment Description: D-45697, now designated SCP-XXXX-2D, was informed of an upcoming business venture and given the choice to pay $5 to help fund it. In return, they would be given 10% of the profit generated. Said business venture would involve an undercover agent attempting to sell a brick of cocaine to a uniformed police officer in front of their police station.
Experiment Results: SCP-XXXX-2D readily agreed and showed excitement at the opportunity. An agent approached a uniformed officer in front of the █████ Precinct and presented a single brick of cocaine. The officer reportedly expressed a belief that the incident was a sign from a higher power that they should take more risks in life and break more rules. The officer paid $500 for the brick of cocaine. The final result was a net gain of $45.
Additional Notes: It was explained that the agent was not required to give SCP-XXXX-2D any money. The agent in question repeatedly expressed a belief that SCP-XXXX-2D had earned the money and insisted on paying him.
Test 8 - 12/21/2018
Experiment Description: An agent offered to use funds from SCP-XXXX-2D to purchase lottery scratchers for him.
Experiment Results: SCP-XXXX-2D gave the agent $100. The agent purchased 10 lottery scratchers and gave them to SCP-XXXX-2D. Cumulatively, the scratchers were worth $800. The final result was a net gain of $700.
Additional Notes: Attempts to encourage withholding funds from SCP-XXXX-2D have been deemed futile. Additionally, given that the maximum possible earnings from the scratchers was over $1,000,000, it is worth noting the comparatively small actual earnings. Further testing is required to determine if there is a correlation between the amount invested and the amount gained.
Test 10 - 01/04/2019
Experiment Description: SCP-XXXX-2D was offered the chance to invest $1,000 to receive 10% of profits from a business venture. Said business venture would involve purchasing oil barrels from the United Arab Emirates and, one week later, attempting to sell those barrels back to them.
Experiment Results: Approximately 2 hours after purchasing the oil from the United Arab Emirates, an armed rebellion broke out. The rebels had taken control of the oil fields by the time Foundation agents attempted to sell back the oil barrels. The government purchased every barrel for the purpose of fueling their military vehicles and retaking the oil fields. The final result was a net gain of $50,000.
Additional Notes: Further testing is not to exceed initial cash values of $100.
Test 18 - 03/10/2019
Experiment Description: SCP-XXXX-2D was provided an ordinary trashcan. Researchers told him that the trashcan was anomalous and would multiply any funds deposited in it. Any funds deposited in the trashcan would be deposited in an ordinary dumpster in a nearby town. Agents would return after one week to collect anything of value found in the dumpster.
Experiment Results: SCP-XXXX-2D deposited $100 within the trashcan. This money was deposited in a dumpster. Two days later, a bank in the nearby city of ██████████ was robbed. The criminals responsible were apprehended, but the authorities were unable to locate any of the stolen funds. Upon returning to the dumpster, agents found 3 duffel bags filled with $100 bills as well as 2 discarded black ski masks. The final result was a net gain of $499,900.
Additional notes: This just doesn't make sense. The amount gained is disproportionately large. We got lucky that nobody was hurt in that bank robbery. Further testing will no longer involve non-Foundation personnel or locations.
Test 22 - 04/14/2019
Experiment Description: A modified slot machine was presented to SCP-XXXX-2D. The machine required $20 to play and would not offer a payout higher than $20. SCP-XXXX-2D was allowed to use the machine once.
Experiment Results: The slot machine experienced a mechanical error resulting in the entirety of its funds being awarded. For unknown reasons, the machine was stocked with far more money than necessary for the experiment. The final result was a net gain of $100,000.
Test 24 - 04/20/2019
Experiment Description: A 12 year old male Golden Retriever was introduced into SCP-XXXX-2D's cell. SCP-XXXX-2D was instructed to attempt a business transaction with the dog.
Experiment Results: SCP-XXXX-2D offered $1 to the Golden Retriever. The dog placed the dollar in its mouth. It then proceeded to paw at the cell door until researchers allowed it to exit. The dog made its way to the cite's cafeteria. The dog approached multiple individuals and received money from each of them. It was later discovered that one agent working at this cite was known for having a highly trained Golden Retriever and had recently been discussing the costliness of a summer camp his daughter wished to attend. The dog then returned to SCP-XXXX-2D's cell and deposited the funds in front of the door. The final result was a net gain of $499.
Test 25 - 04/22/2019
Experiment Description: A piece of white paper with a rudimentary happy face drawn on it was introduced to SCP-XXXX-2D's cell. SCP-XXXX-2D was instructed to attempt a business transaction with the piece of paper.
Experiment Results: SCP-XXXX-2D was unable to complete a business transaction. This angered SCP-XXXX-2D, leading to it shouting multiple expletives at the paper. This outburst culminated with SCP-XXXX-2D repeatedly stomping on the paper, covering it in shoe prints. One researcher present stated that this piece of paper now had, quote, "an almost Banksy quality to it". The researcher purchased the paper from SCP-XXXX-2D. The final result was a net gain of $40.
On 04/30/2019, SCP-XXXX-2D requested that he be released for the purposes of retrying the robbery that had initially led to his arrest. He felt that with his accumulated funds, he could hire professionals to ensure the success of the robbery. His request was denied. At approximately 8:00PM PST that night, the cite experienced a 10 second power outage. During this time, a guard slipped and fell, hitting his head on the cell of SCP-XXXX-2D. When he awoke, both his security clearance card and SCP-XXXX-2D were missing. Security cameras took several minutes to return to functionality following the power outage. The whereabouts of SCP-XXXX-2D are unknown at this time. All testing of SCP-XXXX is to cease immediately until further notice.