Noroark

Item #: SCP-000

Object Class: Esoteric

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-000 is to be contained in two oblong structures. The black capsule is carbon-based with a synthetic matrix. The white capsule is silicon-based with an organic matrix. These objects will remain in grounded housing units on the surface of two opposing exoplanets.

Description: I am proposing a model that attempts to explain the psychological and evolutionary implications of neuroplasticity. For a number of symbolic reasons, I will refer to this model as a “Capricorn”. The main idea is that memories are inherently neutral (“capricious”), but can become fixed (“capped”) if associated with a positive or negative stimulus. The Capricorn model could potentially offer insight into many mental illnesses and neurological conditions, and could be used to treat symptoms of these disorders effectively.

The astrological sign Capricorn is represented by an animal that is half-goat and half-fish. In the Capricorn model of the mind, memories associated with negative stimuli are “goat-capped”, or “g-capped”, while memories associated with positive stimuli are “fish-capped”, or “f-capped”. Memory capping determines the type of neurotransmitter released upon encountering an instance of a similar stimulus. G-capping is associated with adrenaline, which activates the fight or flight response. F-capping is associated with the release of dopamine, which results in pleasure. Capricious stimuli are perceived as 'insignificant', but can become momentarily capped depending on environmental context.

Ideally, the mind should maintain a 'logical' balance between g-capped, f-capped, and capricious memories. Straying from this balance can result in executive dysfunction (inattentive type if primarily g-capped, hyperactive type if primarily f-capped). Further imbalance can result in depression/aggression (g-capped) or mania/delusions of grandeur (f-capped). If left untreated, 'illogical' g-capping can result in high levels of chronic stress—this is associated with amygdala growth (which may be related to the release of secondary stress hormones, including cortisol) and the breakdown of repair mechanisms on one or more levels of body organization. 'Illogical' f-capping is associated with reckless behavior stemming from grandiose beliefs (such as perceived invincibility, or the idea that one is a god).

There appears to be a hierarchy among capped memories based on how recently they have been recalled, the availability of the associated stimulus, and how many capped memories of the same species they have been associated with. Memory-memory associations are common and tend to occur in chains; this has the effect of aiding in long-term memory and recall. Recall is facilitated through additional neurotransmitters, including acetylcholine. In an f-capped state, norepinephrine may aid in sustained excitement.

Neurotransmitter release is automatic and occurs independently of what is perceived as conscious thought. Therefore, a person can recognize that a capped memory is illogical, but be unable to correct their behavior. It is possible to “recap” a memory if a new association is made: a g-capped memory can become f-capped if a person is exposed to a 'negative' stimulus and rewarded (the use of a stimulant might aid in this, as stimulants cause dopamine to be released without an external stimulus), while an f-capped memory can become g-capped if a person is exposed to a 'positive' stimulus and punished. Depending on their hierarchical position and the length of their associative chain, some memories can be harder to recap than others. Events perceived as 'crises' or 'epiphanies' may trigger an immediate or gradual domino effect in a chain of capped memories.

It can be inferred that humans evolved a set of genes that allows for the selective regulation of genes associated with some neurotransmitters. These traits are likely related to humans' capacity for language, which facilitates creative expression. It is probable that there is no structural or genetic basis for our sense of 'self', and our identification with such is a learned (and f-capped, by default) behavior. The g-capping of this association would result in suicide.

The functional purpose of sleep appears to be related to long-term memory capping. Information obtained while awake (and possibly in dreams) is capped in accordance with the mental hierarchy's dominant species, which is regulated by Circadian rhythms. This alters perception (but not memory) of past events. Any symptom attributed to 'memory loss' may be the result of increasingly illogical capping chains. Stress hormones associated with chronic g-capping could facilitate the deterioration of physical brain matter.

Sleep is facilitated through the neurotransmitter melatonin. Serotonin aids in dreaming, which is assumed to occur through the reshuffling of existing memories during REM sleep. It can be inferred that dreaming is a chemical defense mechanism against depression. As dream-based memory reshuffling is not guaranteed to involve memories related to conscious thought or sensory perception (what is perceived as 'lucid dreaming'), this attempt to restore neural functions tends to fail. Dreams may also become g-capped, which results in 'nightmares' (chronic g-capping may result in night terrors, and eventually chronic hallucinations). Serotonin could naturally aid in restoring neurological functions during what is understood as a 'coma'.

The release of N,N-dimethyltryptamine before death can be inferred to be the neurological equivalent of a cellular SOS response. DMT induces a panic state that promotes random memory reshuffling. This increases the likelihood of preserving memories of conscious thought and sensory perception, which can aid in restoring other neurological functions. Given enough time, a person who has been declared 'brain-dead' may be able to recover if sustained by a machine. The use of hallucinogenic compounds could aid in the recovery process.

If these hypotheses are valid, there is reason to suspect that memory capping and reshuffling plays a critical role in driving evolution. For example, the storage and rearrangement of visual memory data could have contributed to the diversity of animal life that emerged during the Cambrian Explosion. This process may inspire sexual selection, which has an effect on other organisms in the ecosystem.

Neurotransmitters are naturally occurring radioactive organic compounds. The trace amounts of carbon-14 found in some paleontological specimens may be related to the DMT released at death. All levels of nature exhibit quantum properties, and wave/particle function is determined by stimuli in the environment. The fundamental nature of the universe is that many timelines exist within closed systems. In animal life, the body is a closed system.

My present situation is admittedly very bizarre, and I feel as though it can only be explained through my proposed Capricorn model. The fact that I defined this model myself could reasonably lead one to question the validity of my statements, or believe that I am crafting an elaborate 'excuse' for my poor performance. Indeed: it would be impossible for me to 'prove' my intent, which is an idea supported by my model. However, I think it's fair to say that my dedication to this task is evidence that I'm not just being 'lazy' (according to this model, 'laziness' does not exist—it is either inattentive executive dysfunction, depression, or need for sleep).

Now: I believe I have become chemically addicted to thinking about my own thoughts.

I first became aware of my 'condition' in early January. A few weeks prior, I began writing a humorous story that involved a heavy amount of wordplay. I had been diagnosed with ADHD in high school and prescribed a stimulant called Vyvanse—without this medication, it was next to impossible for me to focus on any task that involved a significant amount of sustained creative thought. My process for writing the aforementioned story involved taking my medication and then going out of my way to come up with as many 'logical' connections as possible (which was facilitated through the use of Google). I perceived this experience as rewarding, which led to the f-capping of [pattern-seeking].

(Words contained within brackets should be understood as descriptions of memories, which can be likened to impulses).

Even after I stopped taking my medication and working on my story, I continued to enjoy looking for logical connections. I eventually encountered a memory that had been g-capped, which stemmed from the fact that the story I'd been writing featured a character who could predict the future. This occurred through a combination of memory chains similar to these:

[this character uses a sword to predict the future] [sword] [the pen is mightier than the sword] [pen] [writing] [I am a writer] + [the sword's powers come from symbols] [symbols] [connections] [I have been making connections] + [I have been noticing many patterns] [this is weird] [it feels like I'm in a story] [the story I was writing] [telling the future] [predicting something scary] [predicting my own death] [death] [I will die]

[I will die] is g-capped—thinking about the inevitability of my demise has always caused me dread. My recall of this memory, paired with the dominant f-capped [pattern-seeking], led me to notice logical connections relating to death (which I illogically associated with my own death). This triggered a chain of illogical g-capping, which caused me to cry and confront my family.

Speaking up about my concerns led me to recall the f-capped [there must be a logical explanation for this]—I attribute this to my f-capping of [science], which maintains a dominant position in my memory hierarchy due to the fact that I'm majoring in biology. I scoured the Internet for explanations, which led me to conditions such as 'apophenia', 'flight of ideas', and 'psychosis'—the last of these had been g-capped due to stereotyping and social stigmas.

I had been planning to meet with a therapist in hopes of overcoming my severe social anxiety, and I resolved to bring up my mysterious condition at our upcoming appointment. Shockingly, I found myself able to speak and express myself clearly—in the past, I was only able to do this with my sister and mother. Apparently, the g-capped [there's something wrong with me] dominated the g-capped [talking to strangers]. Following this event, my social anxiety appeared to have been cured. [Talking to strangers] became f-capped, but the g-capped [being seen as socially awkward] prevented me from speaking impulsively or otherwise being disruptive.

I did not receive a diagnosis during this appointment. I ended up meeting with my nurse practitioner, who concluded I had bipolar disorder (type unspecified) and prescribed me a mood stabilizer. Due to the recapping of many memories associated with my condition, I didn't feel like I had any reason to take this medication. I agreed to keep it on hand in case something caused me to become violent, however.

For a significant portion of the spring semester, I found it surprisingly easy to focus on my schoolwork. My pattern-seeking and self-defined connections aided in my memorization of concepts from health and algebra, and I had absolutely no trouble with public speaking. In the past, I'd get so anxious in front of an audience that I'd forget what I was saying halfway through a sentence. I struggled a bit with organic chemistry, but this was mostly because I'd failed to retain the information from the previous semester. I'd gotten an A, though I'd done this by way of capricious memorization and the use of note cards on exams (I can make my handwriting very, very small, which allowed me to fit all of my notes for multiple units on a single card). Overall, I was doing quite well.

I spent most of my free time documenting coincidences on a Discord server and learning about various topics that sparked my interest. Something led me to realize I could use my social skills and pattern recognition (which I was able to apply to trends in human behavior) to engage in my f-capped [helping people]. I associated this with [science], which resulted in the f-capping and prioritization of [making a scientific discovery]. I initially focused on cancer, which was influenced by my father being diagnosed with prostate cancer. I read a considerable number of scientific articles in hopes of finding something that 'connected', and expanded my 'research' to include stress (prompted by my father's overblown reactions to anything that went against his expectations) and biological immortality.

I was able to keep this 'logical' f-capping chain (in addition to a chain involving politics and economics; this stemmed from my interest in social justice, which I consider to be my third biggest passion) mostly separate from an 'illogical' f-capping chain, which involved a number of strange fantasies and beliefs that would have been impossible to disprove (much like you cannot definitively prove that God does not exist). These ideas were centered around the idea that I was the “writer of reality”—in other words, my capricious awareness of cause and effect relationships led me to suspect that I was bringing patterns into existence rather than observing patterns that were already there. I was able to accept this as nothing more than wishful thinking until I attempted to relate things to quantum physics.

It should be noted that I haven't completed a single physics class. I got halfway through an introductory course in high school, but ended up dropping it.

My tenuous grasp of that subject led me to combine all three of my dominant f-capping chains, and I became convinced of things involving “colliding timelines”, the multiverse theory, quantum immortality, and various forms of “quantum mysticism”. What might have been my most bizarre belief was that certain information online had been put there by beings from a “regressive” timeline from the future, and that the Internet “united all timelines”.

After reading about various nuclear weapons tests (which I believed had caused the split in the timelines), I recalled a website featuring stories revolving around a fictional research organization. The website's style led me to believe it was about a real organization from the future. A number of coincidences I observed on a particular article triggered a delusional episode in which I felt as though time had slowed, I could not feel my pulse, and my mind felt unusually clear (I may have also experienced a visual hallucination involving moving text, though this could have been a feature of the website. The following day, I had a hard time determining which parts of the experience (and my life as a whole) had been 'real'.

I was then admitted to the psychiatric unit at [REDACTED]. Over the course of my week-long hospitalization, I continued documenting my thoughts and observations. While I have been attempting to maintain a mostly formal style in this entry, my usual writing style involves a great deal of colloquialisms, figurative language, and various forms of humor—it is perfectly consistent with the excitable style I used in my psych unit logs. This makes it impossible to prove whether or not I was delusional.

Similarly, I acted very pleasant and cooperative during my stay, which may have led the hospital staff to assume I had recovered (and possibly that they had helped me recover). I observed similar behavior in several other patients, who claimed to suffer from conditions such as bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. While I cannot speak for these patients, I can personally confirm that my illogical beliefs remained f-capped, and the things I observed (which included frequent references to spirituality and what I later described as 'enabling' from the staff) led to the lengthening of these chains.

While I was in the hospital, I believed that I was going to die and be reborn and/or lose all of my memories. The reason I went on so many tangents involving nostalgia in my psych unit logs is because I thought I'd be able to regain my memories by looking at my old writing. I also wrote down a number of things that I wanted to happen, since I believed writing them down would cause them to come true. I believed I was going to enter a state of existence similar to a permanent lucid dream, which would allow me to do literally anything. And I believed in all of these things with 100% certainty.

When I was released, I experienced a 'crisis' that led me to recall my dominant g-capped memory: [I must do well in school to succeed]. This initiated a chain reaction that caused many memories to become g-capped, or remain f-capped but lose their dominance in my mental hierarchy. I soon became depressed and began struggling with inattentive executive dysfunction. Anything perceived as a 'distraction' from my dominant memory became g-capped. This continued until I only wanted to sleep. As it is a necessary body function, [sleep] is f-capped by default.

To force myself to focus, I resumed taking Vyvanse. While I was able to complete some assignments, I still struggled to get much done. My dominant f-capped memory was [I need to explain myself], likely because I'd continued doing this on Discord. I proceeded to write several journal entries while on my medication. This played a part in recapping several g-capped memories, and after forcing myself to make a few other positive associations, [pattern-seeking] was recalled into dominance and I stopped being depressed. I have since realized that I had effectively tricked my mind into believing it had entered a ‘regressive timeline’ where cause and effect are reversed.

… Yet I still can't focus on my schoolwork, even on Vyvanse. [I need to explain myself] has become dominant. The problem is that I am explaining my own thoughts, and it is impossible to avoid this stimulus. As such, this f-capped memory remains dominant in my mental hierarchy.

Another problem is that any idea related to mental illness that opposes my Capricorn model (such as the assertion that people with certain symptoms are “just doing it for attention”) activates my fight response, which manifests as mild frustration (as my dominant f-capped memories leave me prone to positive distractions, g-capping chains do not develop). Support for anti-psychotic drugs is especially triggering—this is because anti-psychotics inhibit dopamine production, which could reasonably lead to depression. Fortunately, I haven't found myself 'trapped' in an environment involving these ideas, so my anger never becomes chronic.

A potential instigator of a g-capping chain is my younger sister, Jo, who suffers from a severe form of misophonia (a sensory disorder in which sounds and other stimuli are perceived as painful). Her condition prevents her from going to school, and my family has been struggling to get her accommodations. This is because misophonia is not commonly recognized as a disorder, and only a handful of specialists are able to diagnose it. Without a diagnosis, it would be impossible for Jo to get an IEP.

Previous attempts to diagnose and treat her condition have resulted in specialists claiming she is “attention-seeking”, or she is experiencing symptoms of depression, anxiety, or ADHD. Jo underwent extensive psychological testing, and it was concluded that she was “functioning”. She used to attend a partial hospitalization program, but quit following an incident in which she was prevented from leaving a triggering environment. According to Jo, the staff members ignored her while she “pulled out her hair and rocked”.

At home, loud or unexpected noises cause my sister to shake and stutter uncontrollably. Exposure to bright light, certain strong tastes, and a variety of other sensations cause her to become agitated as well. She has claimed that she “does not want to get better” (she later clarified that she meant she feels like she can't get better, or something to that effect) and “wants to exist, but not physically”.

According to my Capricorn model, a negative experience caused a type of noise to become g-capped. All instances of this noise activate a fight or flight response, and could cause similar noises to become g-capped. Jo's current condition is the result of chronic g-cap chaining that has spread to other sensory inputs. As the chaining continues, it will become increasingly difficult for her to avoid triggering stimuli. Much like I cannot turn off my thoughts, Jo cannot turn off her senses.

Her symptoms are real. It would be impossible for me to describe her subjective experience, but the Capricorn model suggests that misophonia is one of the most painful neurological conditions possible. It could progress to a state where just being alive results in extreme stress.

I am doing what I can to keep my sister's mood positive, and to avoid doing anything that might trigger her. My family is working on getting her an IEP, but nothing has happened yet. Jo is incredibly smart, creative, and compassionate—but her condition makes it extremely difficult for her to function in most settings. My Capricorn model suggests her condition can be reversed—it may take a lot of time and effort to undo that amount of capping, but it might be possible.

Multiple pieces of evidence have led me to the above conclusion. For one, Jo is triggered by human chewing noises, but not chewing noises made by other animals. She has stated that she “perceives people as a threat”. I also observed an occasion in which she was able to eat in a public setting without displaying visible symptoms. During this occasion, Jo was with her best friend—the model assumes that the positive association of her friendship dominated the negative association with sensory stimuli. The model suggests that she would be triggered if she attempted to eat in a public setting without her friend, unless she were made aware of the occasion and felt motivated to gradually build up a tolerance herself.

Treatment under the Capricorn model must be initiated by the patient—they should identify what is causing them stress, or what is preventing them from functioning. If the patient is unable to identify these things, a therapist could initiate a conversation. The patient must also play an active role in determining what kind of therapy might help them. A patient should never be forced into a situation that makes them uncomfortable, as this could trigger additional g-capping. Depending on the type and severity of the symptom, stimulant use may or may not be necessary.

The Capricorn model offers an explanation for my sudden change in behavior, which specialists have attributed to a variety of different things (including a “change in brain chemistry”—the Capricorn model suggests that this change did not occur randomly). It could lead us to reevaluate the way we think of and treat mental and neurological disorders—ideally, it would allow for the retirement of labels such as 'schizophrenia' and 'bipolar' and the harmful stereotypes they bring to mind. I have kept a detailed record of the process that led me to develop this theory, which includes numerous hypotheses and ideas for practical applications of my model. I am interested in gaining a better understanding of the neurotransmitters involved, and seeing if my treatment methodology can be successfully applied to other patients.