Noteworthy Editorial

[AUTHENTIFICATION SUCCESSFUL]

The following is a redacted editorial from the 07/19/20 issue of SCP-5402-1

Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Dear readers and esteemed contributors,

Our last issue of The Cosmic Courant no more than a week ago marks the end of my seventh term as the editor-in-chief of this prestigious publication, a title with which I could have felt no greater pride in. Over the course of these many years, we faced trial and tribulation. Be it the emerging quantum radio industries from the forty-third, or even the ever-rising editorial regulations enforced by the Multiversal Communications Commission, we have gone through many a hurdle to reliably provide you, our cherished readers, with news you can trust.

However, few hurdles have posed such a unique threat to our services as the censors in the thirteenth, who so pretentiously call themselves "The Foundation." At every turn, they've confiscated thousands upon thousands of our issues from paying customers, setting us back for several quarters. Such a heartbreaking sight, seeing such a dystopian setting for discourse in one of our longest-reading regions. Unfortunately, many of their most prestigious members such as Dr. B███ have refused comment.

"News for anywhere, anywhen." Our longstanding motto derived from our very first editor-in-chief, Donald Disclosure. The fight for truth doesn't end at a wall of bureaucracy, so we shall continue making our routine deliveries. It's the least we can do for the great people of the thirteenth, especially before they meet the same fate as the eleventh and twelfth.

What we see before us is evidently a world in despair, and a governing body who believes that ignorance is bliss. We, however, believe that is is our solemn duty to shed light on their darkness. They deserve to know of the impending [REDACTED BY ORDER OF THE O-5 COUNCIL].

Though your Sunday news may seem a trivial service, we hold it as our highest duty to provide our readers with the truth and shed a light on the world—in our case, worlds plural. And now more than ever is such a service necessary, for the trials the thirteenth faces, we all may one day face. And so, as we have for generations, we the Cosmic Courant, the oldest transdimensional weekly in the cosmos, will continue to execute our solemn duty and keep the many masses informed, so that we all may not just have a future, but a brighter one.

Norman Noteworthy
Editor-In-Chief, The Cosmic Courant

Dr. Stein: [Dr. Stein's footsteps can be heard fading and returning as he paces the room] You do realize what this means, don't you?

[REDACTED]: Enlighten me.

Dr. Stein: Look, we need to table SCP-5402. This is so much bigger than a newspaper. If what that 'Noteworthy' fellow said was true, then we're on a collision course for [REDACTED], life as we know it gone, every institution rendered meaningless, an XK-class scenario that's ALREADY hit worlds just like ours! Scrap the mantra for just a moment, maybe 5402 isn't something we should be containing. Do the damn interview, sit down with them, do something to communicate with them instead of wasting all our time and energy on that paperboy. We need a chance to know everything they know.

[REDACTED]: What an uncharacteristically rash assertion of yours, Doctor. Though we of course admire your concern, trust this is nothing the Foundation can't handle.

Dr. Stein: 'Admire my concern'? Don't you realize wh—[Pauses] Oh my God. You knew. You knew? How long have you been hiding this? And what do you know about this I don't?

[REDACTED]: [Sighs] As we said, Doctor, this is nothing the Foundation isn't equipped to handle. This is nothing we haven't seen before.

Dr. Stein: No, foot down time, that's a complete load of crap. That's practically your tagline nowadays, I'm sure you've said the same thing verbatim to every other level 4 smart enough to see this for the danger it is.

[REDACTED]: Don't presume yourself to have the authority to put your 'foot down' with the Foundation. Valuable as you are as a level 4 researcher, one of our greatest specialists in multiversal activity for which you have so aptly been given SCP-5402 and MTF-Lambda-8, never forget that the chain doesn't end at level 4. All can be taken just as easily as given.

Dr. Stein: Forgive me if I'm not concerned with the chain of command at the moment. I've always done my duty, sitting at my desk day-in day-out, keeping secrets from people and accepting that secrets will be kept from me—

[REDACTED]: And you will continue to do just that. A man of your experience knows there are far worse places to be in the Foundation than a laboratory.

[END LOG]