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Item #: ???
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures
SCP-??? is to be held in a high level containment facility outside of Site-77 in a vacuum-sealed, fifteen-by-fifteen foot steel cube. This cube must be inside a vacuum-sealed, 25-by-25 foot steel cube. The 25-by-25 foot steel cube must be inside a 35-by-35 foot steel cube. If damage to any part of the containment zone is detected, another titanium cube must be built at the same size-increase ratio. No air may be allowed to leak into the chamber under any circumstances, and its storage facility is not to be moved. SCP-??? may not leave containment or be tested on under any circumstances. A small team of physicists is to be tasked with brainstorming methods of preventing its escape in the future.
Description:
SCP-??? is assumed to be some kind of ceiling fan, but the type, year, and brand are all unknown. The exact measurements are unknown, though estimates vary between 50 to 80 inches in diameter. SCP-??? rotates at an estimated 1,000,000 rpm, and is capable of operating without an energy source. Distant footage of SCP-??? shows itself sprinting through the air at speeds of roughly three-hundred miles per hour, but the true limit of its speed is unknown. According to footage, it appears to move erratically, favoring no particular direction. Whatever it collides with is cut with ease, regardless of the thickness of the materials inside. Due to its high rate of rotation, massive gusts of wind may follow the object in its wake, making it appear like a small tornado.
Upon first being retrieved, the object was noted to have no apparent marks or signs of wear on the object. After removing the air from Test Chamber G, a small experiment was conducted involving the corpses of pigs and cows. To the team’s surprise, the trace levels of gas inside the dead animals was enough for SCP-??? to use as a method of propulsion. The object began to move around, eventually managing to escape its test chamber by slicing into SCP-███’s containment zone. SCP-███ was never recovered, but the [REDACTED] prevented a site-wide catastrophe from occurring. An executive order officially banned any testing on SCP-??? shortly afterwards. The site director forced the “reckless” research team to brainstorm methods to permanently contain the object in a location where "The fucker can't see the light of day. I don’t want another Operation Fanboy.”
Operation Fanboy
Location: [REDACTED], Amazon Rainforest.
4/12/1996
During a small-scale tornado relief effort, the desolate tribe of [REDACTED] describes repeated encounters with an “angry wind god” to Dr. Grey, a retired Site official in the Peace Corps. He assumes it is just a natural occurrence, but after careful research, he finds the movement patterns to be puzzling. He documents his findings in a roughly-structured notebook, rips the pages out, and bunches them into a letter.
4/18/2011
Dr. Grey flies back to his home country, drives to the outskirts of Site-77, and hands a letter with his findings to the guard outside, asking for it to go to “any research team you can find.” Despite Site regulations, the guard obliges, sending the information straight to the Site director himself. The guard is then discharged without pension.
5/11/2011
The Director finally opens up the letter under a pile of other documents. After a few minutes of reading, he quickly goes to the intercom, calling for his “weather geeks” to “get their asses over here.”
5/12/2011
Site 77’s “weather geeks” land near a Brazilian Foundation agency, which has prepared a small group of off-road vehicles to help search for a so-called “wind-god”
5/18/2011
The “weather geeks” eventually come across a forest-clearing, where all the dead trees are still littering the ground. The damage is first assumed to be committed by an illegal logging company, but the sheer size of the damage is deemed to be “inhuman”
5/21/2011
The team follows the trail of dead trees for days. Eventually, someone picks up a disturbance in the wind, pointing up north. When a drone is sent to investigate, it documents what appears to be a small tornado going at an estimated 300 miles per hour. A large flock of birds is sucked into the vortex, which suddenly turns a bright shade of red. Someone jokes about a “parrot smoothie” but nobody laughs. The team turns around unharmed.
5/23/11
The team returns, relaying its information to the rest of the Foundation. They all conclude that the object “can’t be captured” and “must be destroyed”
5/25/11
A squad of fighter jets is sent to the approximate location of the object, given orders to “shoot it down on sight.” Barrages with all different kinds of objects fail to work. Bullets are pushed aside, bombs are turned away, and missiles are caught in the storm. It’s an absolute failure.
5/26/11
After hearing the news about the failure, the director writes a detailed plan for a “last ditch effort” and asks Site members to “call your loved ones.”
5/27/11
[REDACTED]
5/28/11
Due to the Director’s plan, the Object is not only contained, but safely moved to Site 77. He remarks that he is “never doing that again”, giving himself, and everyone involved in the containment process an amnestic and two weeks paid vacation. Perhaps coincidentally, the combination of the letters “p, o, r, t, a, and l” is not allowed to be spoken or written in Site 77, especially around those involved in the containment process. “Magic Hole” is now the official site term.
