- Phantom Social Workers.
- Amber: Or, How I learned to stop worrying and love my enemies.
- Whipped cream and Gang Signs.
Iten#: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures:
Description: SCP-XXXX is a rare phenomenon which occurs exclusivley within urban and suburban areas of England and Scotland, involving the manifestation of an unknown entity at the doorstep of an occupied household between the hours of 6am and 8am GMT. The entities, hereby designated as SCP-XXXX-1 occurances, almost always appear in buissness attire and refer to themselves as simply "social workers", or, on rare occasions, "government social workers".
SCP-XXXX events have been reported throughout the United Kingdom since at least 1963, with the highest number of occurances happening in England and Scotland. The locations at which SCP-XXXX-1 instances manifest are almost always lower income households containing no more than one child under the age 10. SCP-XXXX-1 enities will manfiest at the doorstep of the target household and will knock and or ring a doorbell until met by an occupant of the household. At this point, the entity will ask to be let into the house. If the occupant of the house allows the entity to enter, an SCP-XXXX-2 event will immediately follow. To date, only three SCP-XXXX-2 events have ended in the disappearance of the households only childs. In the majority of cases, the adult occupant of the household (if one is present) becomes suspicious and either asks the entity to leave, or stalls long enough for the entity to eventually leave of its own volition. Only one event has ended in the death of all occupants of the household, and only one event has lead to an incident involving [REDACTED]. However, in this instance, the only child of the household was home alone, and the entity is believed to have entered the house through force via an outside drainpipe.
A Republika Srpska paramilitary force assembles outside Sarajevo on May 5th, 1992. Photographer unknown.
Item#: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: The building in which SCP-XXXX is located is to be marked as condemned, and guarded by at least one (1) armed guard. All personnel are advised to keep a minimum distance of three (3) meters from the known edge of the sphere. A white line has been drawn to demarcate the limit of the sphere, with nickle alloy balls used to mark the boundary in mid air.
Description: SCP-XXXX is perfectly spherical region of space approximately 8 meters in diameter, located in the basement of an abandoned office building in the outskirts of Sarajevo, Bosnia and Herzegovina. SCP-XXXX causes all entites and objects within it to experience time at a rate of approximately 28 microseconds per hour that passes outside of SCP-XXXX, which classifies SCP-XXXX as a Type 7 Local Temporal Anomaly, with a CLAT (Current local Anomalous Time) being dated to either the 14th or 15th of March 19931. There are eleven (11) distinct subjects within SCP-XXXX, catalogued below.
- Subject 1: Identified as Jovan ███████, a 20 year old infantry soilder of the Yugoslav People's Army (JNA) who was reported as MIA during the Siege of Sarajevo. Subject wearing a heavily worn uniform with blood splatter down the left inside leg. Subject is holding a shouldered Zastava M70 assult rifle with removed iron sights with the barrel pointed towards Subject 4. Subject described as appearing tense with both legs locked and a distinct look of fear or disgust in the face.
- Subject 2: Identified as Vladimir █████, 21 year old infantry soilder of the Yugoslav People's Army who was reported as MIA during the Siege of Sarajevo. Subject seen holding a shouldered Zastava M70 assult rifle with heavy damage to the barrel and magazine, "Summer in Bosnia" seen written in chalk along the flank of the weapon. Left arm seen holding the gun in an awkward position, possibly due to being dislocated at some point before the events which created SCP-XXXX.
- Subject 3: Identified as Radovan ██████, 20 year old infantry soilder of the Yugoslav People's Army who was reported as MIA during the Siege of Sarajevo. Subject seen holding an AK-47 Kalashnikov with heavy scaring along the flank of the weapon and possible blood splatter on the stock. Gun is set to automatic with trigger held tight, indicating the subject is attempting to "mag dump". Subject is missing part of left ear.
- Subject 4: Unidentified soilder wearing a Bosnian Military uniform in their mid or early 20s. Subject seen leaning against the eastern wall with bound hands and ankles and a burlap sack covering his head. Heavy tearing and blood splatter present along the centre of chest with possible signs of traumatic injury to the shoulder and arms. Gender unkown, presumed male. Subject appears to be wearing an amulet in the shape of an Eye of Horus. Further analysis indicates that the amulet is the geometric centre of SCP-XXXX.
- Other objects:
- Three 7.62x36mm bullets are variable positions between the subjects. All bullets are travelling towards Subject 4 from the other subject's weapons. In the eight (8) years since its discovery, the bullets within SCP-XXXX have moved 3.3mm from their first observed positions.
- Three shell casings in mid flight appearing to have been ejected from the side of the Subject 1 - 3's weapons.
- A common Horse fly (Tabanus sulcifrons), seen in mid flight attempting to alight from Subject 2's shoulder.
Initial analysis of SCP-XXXX reveals that an impromptu firing squad had been formed by the three men to execute Subject 4. However, for reasons that are currently unknown, a temporal anomaly formed after all three guns fired. The bullets within the anomaly are currently 3.1 meters from Subject 4, and 2.4 meters from the barrel of each assualt rifle. Due to time dilation, it will take up to 7272 years for the bullets to finally impact Subject 4. Current ballistic calculations have concluded that two bullets (fired from the weapons held by Vladimir and Radovan) will impact the upper torso, with the remaining bullet impacting his head below the nostrils. Due to the likelihood of the bullets hitting vital organs, Subject 4 would be fatally wounded if the bullets were allowed to continue on their predetermined path.
Any attempt to remove the subjects from SCP-XXXX has been met with failure, as all entites that come in contact with the boundary instantly lose momentum and begin experiancing the anomalous time dilation. This is quickly followed by radius of SCP-XXXX increasing in accordance to the length or width of the newly introduced object.
The secondary anomalous property of SCP-XXXX was discovered on ██/██/██ by resaerchers after a radio receiver was placed 3.2 meters away from the boundary of the sphere. At this time, a signal was received and human voices were perceived, later identified as the voices of the Three Serbian soliders and a possible fourth unidentifed voice. A television set was then brought in and set up alongside a permanent receiver that was placed in the same spot, allowing a constant stream of audio-visual data beleived to originate from SCP-XXXX.
[[/collapsible]]
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Siege_of_Sarajevo#/media/File:Sarajevo_Winter1992-1993.jpg - Under CC BY 3.0 by Christian Marechel, taken January 1st 1993.
UIU File-0089: ████████ Penitentiary, ██
Object Class: 8 (Inert)
Threat Level: Charlie
Secure Containment Protocols: Confirmed Anomaly 89 (CA89) is to be surrounded by a standard protocol fence arrangement from a distance of 80m from the buildings walls. The building is to be constantly monitored for any tangible changes, which are to be immediately reported to a personnel's supervisor or acting equivalent thereof.
All other resources are to be used to maintain the cover story of a chemical incident within the walls of the anomaly. Any attempt at trespassing is to be met with immediate detention and interrogation.
Known Information: CA89 is the former ████████ Penitentiary in █████ County, ██, which anomalously self-sealed on 06/08/2008 at approximately 1210. More specifically; every known entrance into the building has been completely sealed with a steel wall of unknown thickness, which has not yielded to forces in excess of ████N. The walls of the Penitentiary have also shown to be completely impregnable to all efforts, including all forms of electromagnetic radiation stopping abruptly upon impact with the outermost layer of the wall. Due to this, all communication efforts with the inside of the Penitentiary have failed. The building is believed to house 49 officers, wardens and CO, 301 inmates, 8 janitorial staff and 3 civilians, who were inside the building during it's sudden enclosure.
Update: A man identified as CO James ██████ has been found in one of the eastern exit, seemingly embedded into the anomalous steel wall. Superficial analysis has shown the wall to have completely bisected his body along the median/sagittal anatomical plane. All attempts to pry the remainder of his body from the wall has failed.
Update: Personnel reported a piece of generic graffiti found in the yard outside the walls to have moved by itself. Analysis has shown a piece of graffiti (believed to resemble a █████) to now be adorned on the walls of the ██████ Building across the street. Graffiti removed via normal information suppression protocols.
Update: █████ County Dispatch reported a distressed women who had found a "murder tape" on her laptop. Analysis of the footage appears to show three individuals identified as two (2) inmates and one (1) warden from within CA89. Digital Forensics regarding the origin of the six (6) minute long clip is inconclusive.
Staff Message
Penned via Detective █████
Procedure Motherboard and Procedure Omaha have been initiated. All files regarding CA89 are to be closed indefinitely. Platoon's ██ through ██ are to met with Supervisor Johnson at 1300 tomorrow for briefings.
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Loading appropriate file
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File Transfer Complete
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Item#: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: A Foundation operated bot (I/O - WARDEN) is to be maintained and used to monitor online communities for any mention of an SCP-XXXX-1 instance. A secondary bot (I/H - GREENE) is to monitor all online communities where the majority of it's members or participants have a Geo spatial location residing within Greene County, Indiana, to monitor all references to an SCP-XXXX-1 occurrence and references of LO-8 (████████ Penitentiary).
Upon the confirmation of a SCP-XXXX-1 instance, MTF Omnicron-90 ("Prison Break Was A Disappointment") is to be used to intercept the individual and device which the occurrence is found on. Amnesics are to be distributed per standard protocol, with the device confiscated. The occurrence is to be removed and stored on a Foundation Database within the electronics wing of Provisional Site-56. Analysis is to be conducted on all SCP-XXXX-1 instances Due to the unusable information found on the files, and popular personnel opinion, the SCP-XXXX-1 instances are to be stored without initial analysis, which is to be conducted at a later date.
Foundation forces are to work alongside UIU agents to suppressed all media attention to the event, and the cover story of a biological accident within the walls is to be maintained. Due to inadequate suppression protocols enacted by the UIU upon first deployment to Site LO-8, intense media suppression is to be used. Protocol Aleph-12, and the use of amnestic aerosols are to be used in the event of an exponential increase in internet traffic regarding SCP-XXXX.
Embedded agents within the UIU are to report all information regarding the UIU's unusually quick response to the anomaly. UIU agents are to be cooperated with and must not be treated with immediate suspicion.
At absolutely no point are diary products of any kind to be brought within 200m of LO-8.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a phenomenon occurring within 20km from the ████████ Penitentiary (LO-8) in Greene County, Indiana. The phenomenon describes the anomalous manifestation of video files (hereby referred to as SCP-XXXX-1 instances) appearing on any device capable of storing and displaying the files, which range in both subject and length. The files will always appear on a device within a 20km sphere from the outer walls of LO-8, at a seemingly random rate. The files first appeared to have a psudeorandom alphanumerical file name, but these were quickly found to be █████ type ciphers.
The first SCP-XXXX-1 occurrence was discovered on a laptop owned by a local woman who had alerted authorities of a "murder-tape" which had seemingly appeared on her device. The UIU, which had already been monitoring the situation after the sudden enclosure of LO-8's entrances, were dispatched to confiscate the device and analyse the footage. After this was shown to be a recurring phenomenon after three (3) more instances were discovered, the Foundation intervened, and a temporary situational coalition was formed between the two departments, with the UIU tasked with media suppression surrounding the event.
File Length: 8 minutes, 1 second
File Name: Custard Cement Works
Recovery: Laptop Note - First recorded instance of SCP-XXXX-1<00:00> Footage begins, showing three inmates, identified as Steven █████, Robert ████ and Harry ██████████, seen sitting or lying down in bunk beds in a 5 man prison cell. All are occupied with different activities, such as throwing a paper ball at the wall or writing unidentified symbols on the wall.
<00:12> The camera pans around to show a prison warden, identified as Connor █████, standing in the doorway. upon seeing the warden, all inmates jump to attention.
<00:21> Footage cuts to all inmates walking outside of a building. Surrounding landscape appears to resemble an open tundra-like environment. The building itself appears to be a normal urban office building of North American design.
<00:30> All inmates are lead into a wide, open construction pit, and instructed to put on a vairety of costumes resembling early North American colonial dress.
**<01:01> Inmates finish putting on the costumes, and begin to adopt yoga poses in the middle of a the pit. Warden's begin to chuckle to themselves as the inmates adopt the poses. Further analysis of the footage shows the closest inmate to the camera, Steven █████, to be quielty sobbing.
<01:34> The inmates adopt and hold the pose for 30 seconds, after which one of the wardens are seen striking a piece of robe with an executors axe. Sound of the deflating ballon heard in the process.
<01:40> liquid custard begins to seep out from a series of vents lining the lip of the pit. The custard fills the pit within 30 seconds, completely enveloping the inmates within the pit.
<02:10> Once the custard has completely filled the pit, the footage cuts to black. A title card appears, with the phrase "5 hours later" displayed in the center.
<02:13> Footage returns, showing a crane lifting a block of hardened/frozen custard out of the pit. A large group of prison staff are seen gathered, with a red geometric shape floating above them. Staff appear to be cheering.
<02:45> Crane outmaneuvers the custard block, placing it on a massive structure, appearing to also be constructed out of custard blocks. The structures resembles the base of a pyramid, currently under construction. The following words are displayed along the side of the pyramid
**
File Length: 30 Minutes, 5 seconds
File Name: Runaway Cream
Recovery: Laptop Note - First Recorded instance of SCP-XXXX-1<00:00> Footage begins, showing a camera moving erratically down a darkened corridor. All subjects in the footage are unidentifiable, although can be determined to be either inmates or wardens based on their attire.
<01:02> Heavy breathing heard in recording, coming from person holding the camera. Twelve (12) subjects in front appear to be inmates running away from individual holding camera.
<01:30> The ground appears to change in consistency, resembling that of whipped cream. The inmates begin to trudge through the substance, but many succumb to viscous liquid, as the footage appears to show humanoid appendages of the same substance emerging from the liquid and grappling onto the inmates.
<02:11> A red 3D dodecahedron appears to phase through the wall to the left of the camera. The camera swivels quickly to view the shape moving between the inmates. Inmates stuck in the cream substance vanish upon impact with the shape. The man holding the camera begins to laugh and "speak" in a series of reverberations of the throat. These begin to form into pronounceable phrases. Voice analysis reveals the man holding the camera to be CO Fred █████.
<02:43> Fred █████, or any entity masquerading as him, begins to repeat the phrase "Vanilla, cream, disphosphate, Gelatin - and our special sauce sauce". Sauce is repeated twice in each utterance, extremely quickly and with no space in between. After the first phrase is spoken, Fred unholsters his pistol and begins to unload it into the floating corpse of an inmate in the whipped cream.
<02:50> Fred's continues firing the pistol for the remainder of the footage, which fails to run out of ammunition, with each shot accompanied by a word of the repeated phrase. This continues for the rest of the 30 minute video.
<29:30> The corpse of the inmate is completely unrecognizable, with the whipped cream substance taking on a light red hue. Fred begins to repeat the word "sauce" repeatedly.
<30:05> Footage ends.
File Length: 2 Minutes, 10 Seconds
File Name: Cream Challenge<00:00>: The footage begins, showing a wooden table set out in a salt-pan environment which does not correspond to any known location. Three inmates are seated at the table, identified as Harrison █████, James ████ and Gareth █████. A prison warden, identified as John ██████████, stands behind them.
<00:34>: The inmates previously appeared to be attempting to talk to other people out of the frame, but were quickly shussed by the warden behind them. Three bowls full of whipped cream manifest in front of the three seated inmates. A warden raises a chambered pistol and fires and shot into the air.
<00:45> All inmates appear to hastily eat the whipped cream.
<01:01> A large, mechanical humanoid being appears to rise up out of the salt pan in the background. Analysis of the footage has concluded that the being is 200m in height or more. Neither inmate or warden lend the being any attention as it moves towards mountains in the distance.
<01:34> James ████ finishes the bowl of whipped cream and quickly adopts a look of relief after glancing at the other inmates.
<01:50> Harrison █████ finishes second. Gareth fails to finish the bowl of whipped cream and quickly begins to panic. The warden behind them quickly executes Gareth with a gunshot to the back of the head.
<01:10> Footage ends.
File Length: 4 Minutes, 34 seconds
File Name: Nursery Cream<00:00> Footage begins, appearing to be shot from a hidden camera in the corner of a room. Environment appears to be a nursery in a developing country. Children are seen playing with toys on mats in the center of the room. A child carer wanders amongst the children.
<00:21> Juan █████, death-row inmate, enters the nursery with a backpack and business suit appearing to be worn over prison overalls. He approaches the unidentified child carer and asks, in Spanish, to see his daughter.
<00:45> Juan sits at a chair in the corner of the room whilst the child carer suddenly demanifests. This does not appear to disconcert Juan or any of the children.
<02:03> Juan appears to have left his chair and is seen playing with children in the room. The child carer remanifests with a cardboard box in her arms.
<02:05> Juan approaches the woman and appears confused. He removes the lid of the box and quickly drops it, physically recoiling and appearing to be in distress.
<02:10> Air horns are heard and confetti falls from the ceiling as multiple Penitentiary Staff (Wardens, COs, etc) appear out of doorways and curtains, appearing to be greatly appeased by the event. All are shown to be carrying cameras.
<02:15> The camera quickly moves forward and peers into the box. A small infant is seen, appearing to be suffering from an advanced stage of Harlequin-ichtyosis2. Infant appears to be in a state of great distress.
<02:31> The rest of the footage shows Wardens and COs laughing and pointing at Juan, who is seen crying on the floor. A warden approaches Juan and begins to spray whipped cream from a bottle, over both Juan and the Infant.<04:34> Footage ends
//Note - Further analysis has shown that the children in the footage were all playing with toys shaped as police badges, along with no apparent surprise at the events that followed in the footage.
File Length: 2 Minutes, 1 second
File Name: Subway Cream
Recovery: Smart Phone owned by [REDACTED].<00:00> Footage begins, shot from CCTV camera. Footage shows a subway car full of people, possibly during rush hour. Decor and make of the passenger car match no know example. The windows also appear to be completely blacked out, with passengers appearing to demanifest upon leaving the car doors. Two inmates (both unidentified) are seen sitting at a bench beneath a poster which has been described as a propganda poster featuring a known Warden of LO-8, in a similar style to the famous Lord Kitchener WW1 poster.
<00:20> Inmate 1 (seated to the right) pulls out a newspaper and begins to read it. Inmate 2 looks at his phone. Both are wearing prison overalls, whereas everyone else on the car are wearing normal business attire.
<00:51> A man, identified as Head Warden Noah █████, pushes past subway patrons. He appears to spill a cup of whipped cream, which lands on Inmate 1's lap.
<00:54> Everyone on the subway stops what they are doing and begin to attack both inmates. The large amount of people first begin to strangle the inmates, but this fails due to the large number of people. They then begin to press their collective weight onto the two inmates in an attempt to kill them through compressive asphyxiation. The attempts appear successful.
<01:00> A viscous mixture resembling whipped cream begins to cascade out of every window and door of the compartment, quickly filling the car in several seconds. The CCTV continues recording for another minute. Although the camera is greatly obscured, it continues to pick up people struggling and swimming through the liquid.
<01:36> A person appears to dislodge the camera during panicked asphyxiation in the liquid, causing the feed to cut to distorted graphics and static for the remainder of the footage.
<02:01> Footage ends
File Length: 4 Minutes, 4 seconds
File Name: Recite the Riteful (sic) Cream
Recovery: Database server, █████ Mergers (ltd)<00:00> Footage begins, showing an auditorium in an unknown American elementary school. Children drawings adorn the walls.
<00:04> The curtian pulls back to reveal seven (7) inmates, naked and on all fours. A collar is seen around their necks, and a chain leading to a masked man wearing a warden's uniform. A janitor (identified as James ███) is seen in the corner of the room, seated at a chair pleasuring himself.
<00:21> The first inmate is pulled forward up to a podium. He is forcibly righted, and asked by the warden to recite "The Sacred Cream".
<00:32> The inmate appears to be sobbing and in great distress. He begins to recite a long winded description of a whipped cream product, including it's unique selling points, flavoring and ingredients.
<00:49> Inmate begins to forget the descriptions, and appears increasingly distressed. A crowd behind the camera man (who is seated in the seating area) becomes animate and begins to boo. The warden unholsters a pistol and shoots the inmate in the head. The head explodes into a fountain of whipped cream, causing the body to crumple to the floor.
<01:09> Two more inmates are brought up and subsequently fail the test.
<03:56> The seventh inmate is brought up to the podium and is able to recite the required text, albeit with some slight mistakes. Crowd appears satisfied, with the inmate adopting a look of relief. The inmate then looks directly at the camera, and appears startled.
<04:04> Footage ends.
File Length: 5 Minuites, 55 seconds
File Name: "Sinking Cream"
Recovery: Personal Computer, owned by [REDACTED].<00:00> Footage begins, showing two inmates crammed into a bathysphere like structure. The bathysphere has a small window opposite the camera, giving a view of the bathysphere/bathyscaphe descending through a viscous liquid similar to custard.
<00:34> The first inmate, identified as Jonas ███████, produces a brown envelope, and removes a piece of paper from it. Note - due to the usefulness of the following information and intensity of dialouge, the following has been displayed as an interview
Jonas: This is it?
Inmate 2: This is it. It's what the wardens want.
Jonas: So no challenge? No gimmick to appease the Creamer? No jolly old show of jesters to present to him? What are they trying to accomplish? Send us down the custard Sea to see what? Custard fish? Fuck the wardens.Inmate 2: (appears worried) Don't say that, they might hear.
Jonas: Where were you when it happened? I haven't seen you around. Do you know what happened? The wardens took the authority role, just like they did before. They know that Creamer hates all of us equally, so they make us do these crazy tasks for them, to appease him.
Inmate 2: Don't. Please don't. You know it dosen't like that.
Jonas: What? Calling it him?. It presents itself to us as a human, so why should we still call it an object? Just because it was once a building?
Inmate 2: So what now?
Jonas: I read this, apparently. To the… camera? There's a camera?
(Both inmates search around the bathysphere before finding the camera)
Inmate 2: (wipes finger on lens) There it is. What's it for?
Jonas: A camera to reality? I don't know, the letter is addressed to some organization. It's less than flattering.
(sound of a jet engine heard in recording)
Inmate 2: That's our cue. Start reading!
Jonas: Um, okay (coughs). "Unusual Incident Unit, department of the dirty Bureau, this is a letter addressed specifically to you. One day I stood, a proud bulwark to burea- beuro. Shit.
Inmate 2: Bureaucracy
Jonas: Thanks. "A proud bulwark to-"(Jet engine noise heard again, this time with an short musical jingle reminiscent of ice cream trucks. The bathysphere physically shakes in the recording)
Inmate 2: Do it again. Either Creamer or the Wardens want it perfect.
Jonas: (distressed) Fuck this is so stressful. Okay (breaths deeply) "Unusual Incident Unit, department of the dirty Bureau, this is a letter addressed specifically to you. One day I stood, a proud bulwark to bureaucracy - a maker of confectionery treats of every kind. I saw proud workers enter and leave my gates, happy with a days work, children waiting for my creams to hit the streets and their homes. Then your agents came, sent everyone on their way, told them to be quiet and gave them a fat wad of cash. You trespassed, and ruined me, reducing me to masonry and rubble, to build your own damn building. Well guess what, I-"
Inmate 2: (interrupting Jonas) The camera, people will see it?
Jonas: Shut the fuck up Owen. Seriously. "Well guess what, I'm back. I've taken your workers, and the people who won't be missed-"
Inmate 2: We can get people to help us. They can do the…
(Inmate 2 pushes past Jonas)
Inmates 2: Anyone out there! Anyone who sees this footage. Please, you can help us, we're-
Jonas: Shut up! We do that they'll make us-
<04:03> The window of the bathysphere suddenly shatters, leading to a high pressure jet of custard entering through the hole, instantly killing both inmates. The high velocities of the liquid indicate the bathysphere would have been many kilometers below the surface of the "custard ocean". It is currently unknown why the custard mixture did not solidify at the intense pressure, but theories suggest that the mixture was internally heated to a temperature of ███K.
<04:05> Footage ends.
File length: 2 hours, 3 minutes and 34 seconds
File Name: Custard Enema
Recovery: Dr Mallard's Personal computer<:00:00:00> Footage begins, presenting a view of a type 4 flattened reality projection. The projection appears to have made all subjects and objects in the footage similar in appearance to Depression-era cartoons, most noticeably "Steamboat Willy"
<00:00:03> All inmates are seen laying end to end on gym mats in the middle of an abattoir like environment in the Balkan Region. Buckets of custard lay by the side of the inmates, with wardens lining the edge of the gym mat. Note - The warden's facial expressions are noticeably grim, or more grim than in other SCP-XXXX-1 instances.
[EXTRANEOUS DATA REDACTED]
<02:03:34> Footage ends.
File Length: 1 Minute, 22 seconds.
File Name: Worst Day At Cream School
Recovery: Flash Drive<00:00> Footage opens into a nondescript American high school classroom. 30 inmates are seated at desks arranged in the room, all wearing prison overalls and appearing to be 20 - 30 years older than would be appropriate for the setting. A bowl of whipped cream with a series of eight spider legs wanders across a desk at the head of the room. A stick appears to float above the bowl, pointing out diagrams on the blackboard behind the whipped cream entity.
<00:13> The camera appears to be omnipresent, floating above the inmates and taking on cinematic angles with no apparent source.
<00:30> The camera focuses in on an inmate, identified as Owen ██████, seated at desk near the front of the room. Owen appears to be writing out math questions on a sheet.
<00:34> The whipped cream entity (presumably taking on the role as the teacher) begins to emit a sound akin to a jet engine. All inmates look up at the entity with looks of worry.
<00:35> The entity launches itself from the front desk and begins to quickly approach the desk that Owen is seated at. Analysis of the footage has determined that the spider-like entity was traveling at speeds of 30m/s.
<00:40> The entity climbs onto Owen's desk, and begins to speak in recite "The Sacred Cream".
<00:45> After a moments hesitation, Owen attempts to recite "The Sacred Cream", appearing to follow the entity's command. Owen fails, however, after forgetting which gelatin substance is present in the product.
<00:50> The camera focuses in on Owen as all the inmates around them laugh, albeit in a "forced" fashion.
<01:01> After 20 seconds of inmates laughing at Owen, the floor opens up to reveal two elderly humanoid subjects. The subjects begin to rise up out of the ground and right themselves in mid air. Both appear comatose.
<01:10> The two subjects begin to emit custard out of every orifice. The skin begins to shed off and exfoliate, revealing a muscular structure made of a substance similar to licorice.
<01:12> Owen begins to break down crying. Another inmate, seated to the left of Owen, looks directly at the camera. Further analysis of the inmate reveals that it is the same one seen in the "Recite the Riteful Cream" instance some months earlier. Inmate begins to blink rapidly and precisely.
<01:22> Footage ends
Note - On ██/██/██, civilians in the ██████ Cemetary in ████, ██, reported hearing the sound of a jet engine and "ice cream truck jingle" directly over head, for up to 3 hours. Foundation forces arrived to discover two graves had been neatly emptied. Both graves belonged to Owen's mother and Father. Requesting reclassification to Euclid.
To Dir Garland fgarland@fndintra.scp
From: Rsr. Richard Zapruder rzapruder@fndintra.scp
Subject: Latest SCP-XXXX-1 instance.It's me again. I understand you're quite busy working alongside the UIU, but I just wanted to raise something very important that the analytical team have recovered from the latest instance of SCP-XXXX-1, recovered from Dr Mallard's personal computer. We've watched it many times. Probably too many times, considering the subject matter. One of the inmates was aware of the camera, without being prompted. He was the same one from the "Recite" video. The one that looked directly at the camera.
He started blinking rapidly yet precisely. Further research shows that the man, Dwight ███████, served in the Navy as a communications expert before getting his DUI. Our team got the eureka moment of realizing he was attempting to communicate in Morse code. With some margin of error, we came up with "REMOVE THE WA". Now the "WA" wither refers to Wisconsin, or he wasn't able to finish saying the word "wall", as the camera moved away afterwards. This is only, however, if a double blink held down for three seconds indicates a pause.
Don't put this at the top of your priorities. It's probably just a desperate plea for help.
To Dir Garland
From: Rsr. Richard Zapruder
Subject: DwightThat busy? It's been two weeks and not a peep. Sorry to bother you Director, but we have more information on Dwight.
We found him again, this time in another SCP-XXXX-1 instance. He was off in the background, but was able to remain on camera for much longer. He's the only inmate we've seen that is this self aware. He started blinking again, but with some diffiulty due to a piece of candy stuck in his left eye. From deductive reasoning, this is the best we've come up with.
"CLOWN OUTFIT 300P 200M" He appeared to have, albeit covertly, raised his arm and appeared to make the symbol for "100" by creating a T with both hands, before producing an X symbol. Our best guess is that was a symbol for multiplication. He did the same for the 200 as well.
We have no idea what the "P" or "M" stands for, or the reference to a clown outfit.
To: Dir Garland
From: Rsr. Zapruder
SubjectIt's hauntingly lonely over here Director. Our analysis team has gone back to base, and left me with the unforgiving mountains.
Dwight's back. He was in the video where the inmates were getting crammed into custard cans. He survived (we think), but was able to give us some remarkably significant information. It seemed it be set on a shingle beach somewhere. Dwight was able to draw in the sand, the following things:
"300 PEOPLE 200 METERS AWAY CLOWN OUTFIT HAVE SEX COVERED SHIT"
A warden seemed to notice what was going on and forcibly removed him, but not before he could write "REMOVE THE WALL"
You and I both know exactly what this is, and I know you've seen my emails, because that's the exact kind of Director you are. One who would give every bit of data a piece of acknowledgment. He's telling us how to open the walls.
Title: Experiment XXXX-B
Date: [DATE REDACTED]
Description: 300 D-class personnel, split equal between genders, were transported to LO-8 on ██/██/██, after much deliberation with Director Garland and her advisors. The D-class were equipped with identical clown outfits, whipped cream placed into light tinfoil holders and 15 gallons of Pig feces.
The D-class were positioned at a distance of 200m from the outer walls of LO-8, and were instructed to empty the tin foil holders onto their faces. Upon doing so, the sound of a jet engine was heard emanating from LO-8, along with a short musical jingle. The D-Class were then instructed to begin sexual intercourse with one another after then emptying and similar amount of the Pig Feces onto themselves.
Experiment considered a failure






Per 


