Per 
Serious Note This is supposed to be a joke of one of my friends.
Wanted to transform him and his activities into an SCP and see how it would turn out.This is in no way going on the main site, not even as a Joke SCP.
I am just experimenting.
SCP-1871 immediately after someone mentioned German chancellor [REDACTED]'s name.
Item #: SCP-1871
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Personnel should monitor the behavior of SCP-1871 at all times and must inform the Site Director on any changes in behavior. SCP-1871 is to be kept in a sealed container, comprised of lead-lined steel and titanium reinforcement as a precaution. Along with the basic living necessities for humanoid entities, four (4) items essential to SCP-1871 are to be kept inside the container - a high-end computing device, a 3x3 German Empire flag attached to the north wall of the container, an authentic 13th century crusader helmet and an USB stick which is to be filled with a multitude of German folk songs. SCP-1871 must not be disturbed from its' regular routine and personnel must observe it carefully.
Description: SCP-1871 appears to be a tall, male humanoid being, with seemingly aryan descent and an unusual face shape, which closely resembles that of a spoon. SCP-1871 shows extreme nationalist views, and appears to be proud of his German ethnicity. SCP-1871 does not appear to be violent or harmful at all when left alone, and can be easily contained if undisturbed.
SCP-1871 constantly rotates between his routine of playing PC video games, admiring his German Empire pavilion while continually expressing "wunderbar", sleeping, eating and urinating/defecating. Most of his time is spent playing a video game called Mount & Blade: Warband, although he seems to rotate between other games such as Age of Empires: HD Edition and Chivalry: Medieval Warfare.
SCP-1871 is capable of showing great strength when provoked, to the point where he gains a distorted, unusual spoon shape, and flips into a rage state while continuously expressing expletives in a loud tone.
Addendum 1871-a: Due to the incident on 20-4-20██, all Personnel have been denied access to criticize the aryan race, german people or Germany itself while in the presence of SCP-1871. Doing this will cause SCP-1871 to begin the aforementioned rage state and [DATA EXPUNGED] the victim. Personnel present at the last incident required psychological treatment.
Administrator Note: None of you must ever mention the name of German chancellor [REDACTED] in 1871's presence ever again. Failure to comply will result in immediate demotion to Class-D.
Serious Note This was supposed to be a comical joke about one of my former friends
being obsessed with a game about mice, but it turned into my first SCP. Who would've thought.Again, everything on my sandbox page is an experiment and will
most likely never go on the main site.
Still frame captured on MTF Alex's camera device during rescue operation.
Item #: SCP-KRISTI
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-KRISTI is essentially self-containing. He appears to never leave his house located at ██████████ Street, Nr. ███ in Cenad, Romania. Foundation operatives are to patrol the area around where SCP-KRISTI resides and deter any civillians who might attempt to trespass. In the event that SCP-KRISTI might attempt to breach containment, MTF Stultus-8 "The Cats" are to be deployed.
In order for Foundation researchers to investigate the enclosure SCP-KRISTI is located in, Protocol 125-Naroth has been set in place.
Protocol 125-Naroth consists of luring the anomaly out of his enclosure by using strings attached to pieces of cheese in order for Researchers to be able to safely retrieve important information. This protocol must undergo bi-weekly every month in order to keep a steady flow of information.
O5 Revision: After the events of Exploration Log Delta, additional security measures have been put in place in the vicinity SCP-KRISTI resides. At least 3 different MTF squads are to be patrolling the outskirts of his house at all times, separated by shifts. If the entity is observed to attempt to make a call, Protocol 125-Naroth is to be executed immediately, ignoring the regular schedule.
Description: SCP-KRISTI appears to be a male humanoid being. He has no more than 17 years of age, and his appearance strangely resembles that of a mouse. From continued observation of his behavior, SCP-KRISTI rarely leaves the enclosement he is in, and prefers to "farm" for hours on end on a PC video game called Transformice.
SCP-KRISTI has not shown any special anomalous effects, he appears to just be a regular human being. However, remote scans of his neurological path determines major psychological trauma from past events. These events have been concluded to be the passing of his entire family in a car accident on [REDACTED], and witnessing the death of his sister brother by gunshot at the local park.
It is unknown to the Foundation how SCP-KRISTI has been able to survive on his own, considering no aid from the government has been provided to him for years. It is speculated that continued exposure to his PC is keeping SCP-KRISTI alive, thus possibly making the PC have anomalous effects. Investigation is ongoing.
Addendum KRISTI-a: It has been observed that, on rare occasions, SCP-KRISTI will use his cellphone to call a random number, and once the victim picks up, he will begin to [REDACTED]. Victims are left speechless and audibly shaken by this action and are compelled to visit SCP-KRISTI's home at exactly 1:26 AM the next night.
A request by the Site Director to investigate the actions of SCP-KRISTI when such a call is made by providing the entity with the number of a D-Class personnel has been fulfilled. Below are the conversation details of the MTF squad who was present at the event, nicknamed "Exploration Log Delta".
MTF Stultus-8 "The Cats" are positioned upon a hill that allows clear vision inside the room where SCP-KRISTI resides.
Command: MTF, the entity has made the call. Remain in position and observe its actions.
MTF Lead Daniel: Understood, holding position.
SCP-KRISTI has finished his call. He begins to walk in circles around his room, presumably awaiting his prey.
Command: MTF, report in.
MTF Alex: Command, the entity appears to be… revolving in his own room, walking in circles. He has not spotted us yet.
Command: Continue to monitor.
After roughly 15 minutes, the victim arrives.
MTF Lead Daniel: Command, the D-Class personnel has reached the house's front gate.
Command: Affirmative, MTF. What is the entity doing?
MTF Lead Daniel: He… stopped moving and he's just, looking forward- wait, now he's going towards the victim.
SCP-KRISTI positions itself in front of the gate.
MTF Alex: Command, our on-site microphones are picking up the entity's speech.
MTF Alex: It seems to be murmuring some kind of beckoning words. It tries to lure the victim inside.
Command: Affirmative, will contact the victim. Standby.
Command makes voice connection with the victim.
Command: D-9306, can you hear me?
D-9306: Of course I can, what is this freaky shit that I'm hearing? You need to explain-
Command: D-9306, please calm down. Open the gate and confront the entity.
D-9306: Entity? You never told me anything about an entity.
Command: Please proceed.
D-9306: (sigh) Alright.
D-9306 opens the gate and is confronted by SCP-KRISTI. The entity is staring D-9306 dead in the eyes.
D-9306: U-Uh… hello?
SCP-KRISTI: (silence)
D-9306: Are you gonna respond?
SCP-KRISTI: Ai fraises la tine? (Translation: Do you have fraises on you?)
D-9306: I-I don't understand what you're saying.
At this point, the entity starts to become irritated.
MTF Lead Daniel: fraises? what- Uh, Command, the entity is visibly agitated. Shall we proceed?
Command: Negative, MTF. Keep observing.
MTF Lead Daniel: Understood.
D-9306 is visibly shaken.
D-9306: Look man, why did you call me here for?
SCP-KRISTI: Ai face bine să ai fraises la tine. (You better have fraises on you.)
D-9306: (on a higher tone) Okay what the hell are you even rambling abo-
The entity has grabbed D-9306 and has dragged him inside his residence.
MTF Lead Daniel: Jesus Christ- Command, requesting approval to proceed with a rescue operation.
Command: Approved, we got our required information. Do what you must.
MTF Stultus-8 "The Cats" have begun to mobilize towards the residence, weapons prepped.
The screams of presumably D-9306 can be heard from inside the house.
MTF Lead Daniel: Alright, let's all stay together and focused, we don't know what the hell we're gonna be dealing with inside this house.
MTF: Understood.
MTF squad silently enters the entity's room. SCP-KRISTI is spotted feasting on D-9306's dead carcass along with several mice and rats.
MTF Lead Daniel: (whispering) Never thought I'd see this shit. Did it change form?
MTF Alex: It would seem so. Uh, Command?
Command: What's the matter, MTF? Have you found the victim?
MTF Alex: Yeah, we did… his remains. We are in the same room as the entity. It has changed form. It looks more… like a rodent than a human being.
Command: Roger that, confront the entity.
MTF Alex: … Understood.
MTF opens fire on the entity. The entity abruptly turns back and glares at the attackers. It seems unharmed.
MTF Lead Daniel: Ugh, what the hell? Why won't it die?!
MTF Alex: This is most likely another case of a pseudo-invincible entity, we have to go, now!
The entity is fixated on MTF Alex. It appears to be smiling.
MTF Alex: Wait, what are you-
SCP-KRISTI: (screaming) A L E X
MTF Alex: FUCK-
The entity lunges at the MTF squad. Screams can be heard. Connection is lost.
Command: MTF? MTF, are you there? MTF?
Command: (sigh) Damn it… Get me O5-14 on the line.
O5-Command has banned explorations inside the entity's house, and the special containment procedures have been revised.
Serious Note This is a joke SCP based on a seemingly immortal Romanian politician.
Hope he dies soon though, that piece of shit.
SCP-1991, after winning a fight to the death with SCP-682.
Item #: SCP-1991
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1991 must be destroyed as soon as possible. SCP-1991 is to be kept inside a locked room in Palatul Parlamentului, Bucharest, Romania. Its room is to be secured with industrial-grade locking mechanisms, and Foundation operatives are to patrol the area and monitor the activities of SCP-1991 through the on-site surveillance system.
SCP-1991 actively tries to escape containment by various means, however, it appears showing him a picture of a coffin effectively paralyzes him for a few hours.
Description: SCP-1991 is a seemingly immortal entity, with a general humanoid appearance of advanced aging. SCP-1991 refers to itself as "Ion Iliescu". Before being contained by the Foundation for its unusual immortality, it served as the president of the Social Democratic Party of Romania. The Foundation considers its members to be a threat to humanity and thus, SCP-1991 was one of the first targets of containment.
SCP-1991 appears to have a rivalry with SCP-682, another immortal entity. On various occasions, they have engaged in conflicting dialogue when put in the same enclosure, and even attempted to engage in combat.
Foundation experts believe SCP-1991 is the key to terminating 682 and vice-versa. Below are a list of experiments.
Experiment #: 1991-1
Details: Place both entities in the same enclosure and see how they react. This is the first recorded experiment of 1991 reacting to 682's presence.
Results: SCP-1991 became agitated upon sighting 682. He repeatedly exclaimed the words "Domnule de ce m-ați băgat aici la experimente, nu se poate, partidul va închide această Fundație". The Foundation is still attempting to translate his words, experts are having trouble understanding the "ghoulish language he's muttering".
682 was motionless at first, presumably observing 1991's actions. After a period of ~5 minutes, SCP-682 spontaneously started to assault 1991, repeatedly exclaiming "Socdem scum!". However, both entities have only managed to cause major physical damage to each other, and none of them were terminated.
Item #: SCP-1917
Object Class: Safe Euclid
Special Containment Procedures:
SCP-BELGA after witnessing the buttocks of SCP-BELGA-3.
Rare shot of SCP-BELGA-3's face.
Item #: SCP-BELGA
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-BELGA is cooperative with Foundation personnel and expressed he wishes to remain at the Nuclear Plant site indefinitely. The Foundation approved his request and no containment is necessary.
SCP-BELGA-1 to -3 respectively also mentioned they wish to remain at the site forever.
Description: SCP-BELGA is a regular human being who appears to love women's behinds way too much. He regularly likes to mention how "deep in love" he is to Foundation agents, who reported to quickly become irritated about this.
SCP-BELGA appears to spend most of his time dancing and singing about SCP-BELGA-3. SCP-BELGA-3 refers to an unidentified female human being who manifests herself and dances in the proximity of SCP-BELGA at random intervals. However it is very difficult to catch a glimpse of her facial features and so far only one (1) somewhat clear picture of her face has been taken.
Item #: SCP-BEHNCHOD
Object Class: Home Street
Risk Class: Grove
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-BEHNCHOD must be kept in a room lined with reinforced steel & 30 layers of Burmese concrete. The room must not contain any pictures or belongings of his family, and especially of the individual known as Vansh "Pakistan Warcrimes" Wassan. SCP-BEHNCHOD is to be denied access to any stove of any kind or brand, and must not be allowed access to live animals, as this will cause him to become, simply put, "retarded".
Description: SCP-BEHNCHOD appears to be an obese, putrified humanoid male of below average height and Indian descent. He does not appear to have any records of owning hair. SCP-BEHNCHOD is a dangerous individual, that was brought to the Foundation by a scared child, known as Vansh, who is his son, after some bargaining with Foundation agent Alex Pochinki Constantin.
Prior to containment, SCP-BEHNCHOD alternated between his usual activities: cooking 30 specimens of Gallus gallus domesticus (chicken) a day proceeded by him rambling about his work for an interval that goes between 3 hours and 24 weeks (an event which we will classify as Omega-9 Retardation), making narcissistic remarks about himself and belittling his family and relatives, and spending his spare time watching pornographic material that was identified to be "Punjabi Porn" in his phone's browser history by a Foundation agent.
SCP-BEHNCHOD shows extremely aggressive behavior whenever any member of his family is mentioned. He will flip into a rage state, saying expletives in Hindi such as behnchod, kukarchod and bhai ke chod puchna, proceeded by an attack on any person that is within 420 meters of him.
Addendum 01-02-2020: SCP-BEHNCHOD has been seen committing Omega-9 Retardation inside his cell. Research ongoing.
Addendum 04-02-2020: We have sent a special Foundation agent, with a room temperature IQ, to monitor SCP-BEHNCHOD in his room. In case the agent gets a massive anal cavity, we are not responsible.
