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Item #: SCP-X
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-X and copies of it can be contained in any environment where they cannot be read in any approved containment facility. Following Incident X-A, SCP-X is to be contained in a sealed manilla envelope in the office of an approved Class B personnel member. Production of copies or translations of SCP-X is no longer permitted, and all such copies and translations are to be destroyed. See Incident Report X-A below.
The document which SCP-X is written on is itself non-anomalous, and can be handled without special safety measures. However, under no circumstances should any Foundation personnel be permitted to read, especially aloud, SCP-X. Under no circumstances should any anomalous entity capable of reading and/or understanding language be permitted to read or hear SCP-X. Additionally, no audio/visual recordings of SCP-X may be made or kept, even for archiving purposes. Any records kept by the Foundation must have the entirety of SCP-X expunged.
Description: SCP-X is a joke written in English which causes those who read or hear it to fall into such an incredible and prolonged fit of laughter that they inevitably die of asphyxiation or cardiac arrest. SCP-X was written in 1941 by Ernest Scribbler, designated PoI-X, in London. After writing it down, PoI-X fell into a state of uncontrollable laughter and died. PoI-X's wife and three police officers dispatched to his house also subsequently died of laughter before SCP-X's anomalous properties were realized by an Inspector with the British police force, who turned the paper that SCP-X was written on over to the Foundation.
To date, any individual that read or heard SCP-X has died. In the entire time that SCP-X has been in Foundation control, it has resulted in the death of six researchers and 32 test subjects; 25 of the deaths from asphyxiation and the rest from heart attacks.
Individuals who cannot understand or read the language that SCP-X is written in will not die from hearing or reading it. A German non-English speaking D-Class personnel member identified as D-X was able to copy each word of SCP-X individually onto seperate pieces of paper. After Subject D-X recorded the individual words within SCP-X, each one was translated into over forty different languages and reassembled for each one. Subjects who can understand the language which SCP-X is translated into also experience it's effects and inevitably die. Subject D-X was one such individual.
Reading even a portion of SCP-X can cause individuals to laugh for uncharacteristically long periods of time, potentially causing the victim to faint from lack of oxygen or experience a non-lethal heart attack. Through extensive testing, however, it seems only reading or hearing a complete version of SCP-X will result in death.
Testing of SCP-X on anomalies in Foundation custody capable of understanding language has not been approved, due to fears of killing said anomalies. Some members of the O5 Council have suggested testing SCP-X as a possible "last resort" tactic in the event of an unstoppable containment breach by a sentient anomaly capable of understanding language. However, other Council members remain committed to the Foundation's policy of avoiding the destruction of anomalous entities at all costs. The Council remains divided on the issue and it is unknown whether SCP-X will ever be approved as a weapon against other anomalies. As such, SCP-X should not be designated as a Thaumiel-class object.
Incident Report X-A: On 07/12/2001, C-Class personnel member designated Subject C-X stole a version of SCP-X translated into [DATA EXPUNGED] and broadcast it over a radio station in northern [DATA EXPUNGED]. Nearly 250 cases of death by asphyxation were reported across the region. Subject C-X was detained for questioning, but upon refusal to discuss their motive, was administered a Class-A amnesiac and dumped in the slums of [DATA EXPUNGED]. Following this Incident, testing on SCP-X has been temporarily suspended. All copies and translations of SCP-X, excluding the original, have been destroyed and such copies and translations are no longer permitted.
