Greetings lads, my name is doctor Earle, and I'm just going to be blunt with you. I am here to crush
the one thing you hold nearest and dearest to your heart. It's not going to be easy, for either of us, but it's best to rip this bandaid off while you're still a new recruit. If I don't, you'll go insane trying to fit every little thing into your particular theology. And loonies are no good to any of us so let's just get right on into it.
If you want to survive here, you need to give up religion.
I can probably guess that once you learned about the unexplainable nature of our universe you probably thought that that meant that your god exists. And they probably do exist. But by that logic, so do everybody else's gods. Whenever I give this seminar, you inductees always think I'm going to tell you to be straight up atheists, but that's not the case. Do you want to meet God? He's chilling in site 17, you can even request a luncheon with him or something. I'm not here to tell you that your religion is or isn't wrong, I'm here to tell you that your religious devotion to your religion is wrong.
You're scientists.
Put your hands down. I don't care if you're a field agent or a "City Slicker" or whatever. By joining the Foundation, you dedicated your lives to science. And as Scientists, you need to keep an open mind. throughout your time here, you will meet entities from many different pantheons, some mainstream, some occult. The truth is, there is no one set pantheon and no pantheon is truly accurate. When people see powerful entities, their first instinct is to worship them. They make up stories that are only partially based on the truth to trick themselves into thinking they know what's going on. Sometimes they even include a little something for themselves.
Your religion is one of these stories, and you're going to have to come to terms with that. As I said, scientists need to keep an open mind. Did Einstein let his dependency on Newtonian physics keep him from discovering General Relativity? No. Did Darwin let his Creationist upbringing stop him from cataloging evolution? No! Did Plato let the general consensus of the time stop him from teaching his students that the earth was round? Hell no!
So why should you, modern scientists who know a hell of a lot more about the true nature of reality than those guys, let your religious dependencies stop you from doing your jobs!
And remember, above all else; we Secure, we Contain, and we Protect.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: Due to the nature of SCP-XXXX, proper containment is impossible. Instead, efforts are to be directed towards preventing public knowledge of SCP-XXXX from surfacing. Foundation agents have been embedded into all major geological institutions to sabotage sub-lithospheric studies. This should be done with both anomalous and nonanomalous memetic suggestion. A global-scale misinformation campaign is being waged to promote a nonanomalous model of the earth’s structure. Deepsea Site-Tangaroa and Volcanic Site-Pele are both charged with monitoring and studying SCP-XXXX-1 via sonar. Requests to send a probe to study SCP-XXXX-1 at a close range are still pending with O5 command.
Description: SCP-XXXX is the true geological nature of the Earth. The Foundation's current understanding of the Earth is that it is, in fact, a macroscopic avian egg similar to those produced by the species Gallus gallus domesticus (domestic chicken). The atmosphere and crust of the earth function as a semipermeable membrane, protecting the insides from asteroids and radiation. The mantle and outer core act as the albumen and yolk respectively, providing nutrients to SCP-XXXX-1. Foundation Deep-Earth probes have discovered large quantities of organic matter in the asthenosphere. These include enlarged, silicon-based analogs to the nutrients needed for an avian fetus to develop properly.
SCP-XXXX-1 is the Earth's inner core. SCP-XXXX-1 is a silicon-based avian embryo approximately 1,220km in diameter, currently gestating at astronomically slow speeds. The fetus' current developmental state is roughly analogous to that of a non-anomalous chicken fetus at approximately eight days old. Using this knowledge and the known age of the earth, Foundation scientist have found that the earth is likely to "hatch" in about 7.39 billion years.
Due to its distinct biological makeup, as well as the fact that it is being birthed, it is safe to assume that SCP-XXXX-1 is part of a unique celestial species. Because of it's above-mentioned similarities to the domestic chicken, this species has been dubbed "Gallus gallus celestrius". The reason why any macroscopic, space-dwelling species would evolve so similarly to the domestic chicken defies our current understanding of natural selection. It is also unknown how such an organism would survive in the vacuum of space. It is hypothesized, however, that "Gallus gallus celestrius" gains all of its nutrients and metabolic gasses from asteroids and clouds of space dust. This theory is supported by the fact that SCP-XXXX-1 does not seem to be developing a Respiratory system. It instead has a complex digestive system connected directly to its numerous hearts. Foundation personnel has also theorized that it could propel itself through space by catching photons on its massive wings. Because of the fact that no other instance of "Gallus gallus celestrius" has been discovered, it is impossible to say whether the egg-planet formed independently or if a mature instance produced it.
It has come to my attention that many of you are very concerned about the fact that SCP-XXXX-1 will cause a WK-class end of Earth scenario once it emerges. You are very confused about why the Foundation is seemingly "ignoring" this fact and is classifying it as safe instead of "actually trying to do something." You've might even have marked us higher-ups as bureaucratic buffoons with our
heads so far up our asses that we care more about protecting normalcy than protecting humanity.
Because of this, a small group of you decided you would "take matters into your own hands."
Because of your fear of this GIANT BABY SPACE CHICKEN you IMBECILES put a GOD DAMN MEDUSA-CLASS THEOCIDE AGENT on the probe that it took years for the O5s to approve! You ASSWIPES Could have blown us all to hell! It's a good fucking thing that a random malfunction caused us to have to check the probe again! Who knows in what weird ways life on earth might be connected with that thing?
This is what happens when we let fear take over. People think that they can prevent the inevitable. Sure, that thing is going to end the world in a handful of eons, but so would the sun, and you don't see us trying to kill that. It's just a fact of life, and who are we to change that? Yes, I know it sucks that all of human history happened on the something that came out of a space chicken's shit-hole, but there's nothing we can do about it. We can't act like it doesn't belong when it's literally the reason we're here. In a way, it's kind of beautiful.
Imagine a distant future after we become a galaxy-wide civilization. Millions of spaceships travel on a pilgrimage to our solar system to witness the final days of the long-abandoned earth. The air is smoggy with greenhouse gasses and space junk dances around the planet. Then, in a mere moment, a beak the size of Everest breaks through the crust and all the pollution and garbage we ever created and plagued the world with is shrugged off. The new cosmic chick then wipes off the ashes of our old world and flies into the abyss. In a way, the Earth isn't going to be destroyed, it's going to be reborn.
-Head Researcher Kam
Per 
