Per 
Thumbnail of the Perfectly Average Guys Podcast
Item #: Scp-6301
Object class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: The SCP foundation's Online Reconnaissance Division is to monitor all websites that can host podcasts for the Perfectly Average Guys Podcast and determine whether or not the most recent episode is infected with Scp-6301. If Scp-6301 is detected then the episode is to be downloaded and hosted on Site-25's.A Foundation site with the expressed purpose of containing online cognitohazards servers and then deleted offline.
In the case of a Scp-6301-1 instance being reported then MTF Lambda-7 "Crypto Cashers".A generally non-combat MTF specializing in the dealing with online threats is to locate the infected individual and capture them. The Foundation Amnestic Department is then to perform standard Class-B amnestic treatment according to foundation protocol for all necessary liabilities. The Scp-6301-1 instance is then to be taken to Site-25 and held in standard humanoid containment cells flooded with water to allow them to breath.
Description: Scp-6301 is 4 episodes of the Perfectly Average Guys Podcast.As of 31/5/20██ infected with a cognitohazard that manifests upon hearing or reading the infected line of dialogue. The Perfectly Average Guys Podcast is run by three non-anomalous males: Duncan █████, Jackson ██████████, and Jerry ██████, the former 2 being the personalities of the podcast and the latter being the podcasts audio engineer and editor. In the Scp-6301 instances the anomaly is triggered by Jerry speaking... Which in not a thing he does normally within the episodes, as it is a "running bit" Scp-6301 occurs during the upload processes as all infected episodes in the audio files on Jackson's computer were found to lack Scp-6301
The transformation into a Scp-6301-1 instance begins 15 minutes after initially perceiving the infected text, it begins when the subject is hit with a wave of severe dizziness lasting an hour. 24 hours after the initial effect the respiratory system of the -1 instance over the course of 30 minutes transforms into that of a fish-like aquatic creature, with gills forming along the sides of the neck and the insides of the mouth that now require water in order to breath. 15 minutes after the initial gill mutation the head of the -1 instance will begin the transformation into a goldfish-like cranial structure resembling the Pokémon Magikarp. After another 5 minutes the -1 instance will gain control of the fish like appendages of their head and the transformation will be complete. at the moment 1█ Scp-6000-1 instances are within foundation care, with Dr. Polach being one of them.He is still employed by the foundation, simply requiring a water filled dome on his head.
Discovery Scp-6301 was discovered after numerous reports within the ██████, KS area about 8 Scp-6301-1 instances within lake ██████-████. Foundation personnel were able to determine that the only connection between all instances was the fact that they all listened to the most recent episode of the Perfectly Average Guys Podcast. After Dr. Polach listened to an infected episode and began his mutation was SCP-6301 determined. the foundation was then able to locate the residence of Jackson ██████████, where all episodes are recorded, and a investigation force was sent out to search the house. After the Foundation investigation personnel searched throughout the residence Jackson ██████████'s computer was found with the files of all infected episodes. After a foundation cognitohazard scan they were found to be without any SCP-6301 infection. Since this initial discovery 12 new Scp-6301 infected episode have been uploaded.
See Addendum 6301-A for a set of transcripts of the infected areas of the episodes.
Addendum 6301-A, transcript of all currently infected episodes
Title: a Perfectly Average Recording Test uploaded 3/7/2020
Description: This is just a test please ignore, or don't we're fine with whatever
Duncan: Hello my name is Duncan █████ and my opinions don't matter, with me as always is Jackson ██████████ anything you'd like to say to the people Jackson?
Jackson: Other than the fact this is just a recording test, no
Duncan: cool, and in third chair is our audio guy named Jerry ██████, Jerry you want to say anything to the people?Jerry: [COGNITOHAZARD REMOVED AS PER FOUNDATION PROTOCALL]
Jackson: Woah Jerry
Duncan: Don't you think that's too many f bombs for a recording test?.According to one -1 instance Jerry said around 23 in under 5 seconds
Jerry: [COGNITOHAZARD REMOVED AS PER FOUNDATION PROTOCALL]
Jackson: Well then
End of Transcript
Title: // Double D cup…cakes// uploaded 24/11/2020
Description: Duncan and Jackson discuss things that make them happy like Avatar, their girlfriends, and big, honking, … fancy desserts
Cognitohazardous element detected at 20:23:345
Duncan: So, to put it bluntly the first half of Korra Season 2 starts out good with a heavy and complicated plot, but their attempt to explain the avatar state ruins the magic of the show, and I'm pulled out of the show at that point, you should never explain the magic if it doesn’t need to be explained.
Jackson: I definitely agree there
Duncan: there isn’t much worse I could think to watch than Season 2 of KorraJerry: [COGNITOHAZARD REMOVED AS PER FOUNDATION PROTOCALL]
Duncan: Well if you take the rating of the season as the average rating of all episodes within then yes Sword art online season 2 is worse, but like in this case I’m rating it as how much I enjoyed the season as a whole, and if given the choice I would watch SAO season 2 before Korra season 2 everyday of the week
Jackson: I’m the same as well
Duncan: But season 3 of Korra, is fire
Jackson: definitely
End of Transcript
Title: // Lexi’s Modern life// uploaded 4/1/2021
Description: In this episode Duncan, Jackson and guest star Lexi ██████████ talk about Cartoons, video games and how amazing their grandmas are.
Cognitohazardous element detected at 51:01:120
Duncan: Grandmas are just awesome man
Lexi: That is true, ours is the best
Duncan: Say Jerry how cool is your grandmaJerry: [COGNITOHAZARD REMOVED AS PER FOUNDATION PROTOCALL]
Lexi: Awwwwwwww!
Duncan: That’s cute
Jerry: [COGNITOHAZARD REMOVED AS PER FOUNDATION PROTOCALL]
Jackson: Jerry, I didn’t know that your Grandma was Cthulhu
Duncan you know that explains a lot more that is has any right toLexi: Try basically living with him for a year
Duncan: Unfortunate
End of Transcript
Title: // Failing and Derailing with Mommy Jorgensen // uploaded 18/4/2021
Description: Today Duncan and Jackson discuss failed D&D games and D&D games that went crazy
Cognitohazardous element detected at 18:56:095
Duncan: Now on to the Main topic of todays episode, D&D.
Jerry: [COGNITOHAZARD REMOVED AS PER FOUNDATION PROTOCALL]
Jackson: And Jerry has loaded his gunDuncan: He has 3 bullets and 2 are meant for us
Jackson: And the third one is for himself
Duncan: No no no no no, the third one is for both of us, he’s gonna shoot straight through the two of us, for overkill
Jerry: [COGNITOHAZARD REMOVED AS PER FOUNDATION PROTOCALL]
Duncan: See what I tell ya.
Jackson that is certainly overkill
Duncan: Oh look at that he's got more bullets
Jackson: and a Shotgun
Duncan: Well you got any last words Jackson
Jackson: I think ours are the same ones
Duncan: Let’s say them at the same time
Jackson: Absolutely
Duncan and Jackson simultaneously: Or opinions don’t matter
[2 gunshots are heard badly edited over the sound of the episode, the audio is then silent for 15 seconds]
Duncan: Anyway as I was saying
End of Transcript
