Item #: SCP-XXXX


An instance of SCP-XXXX.

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: All instances of SCP-XXXX are to be kept in a standard anomalous object containment locker at Site-71. Experimentation involving SCP-XXXX on human subjects is currently forbidden without the permission of the SCP-XXXX lead researcher (currently Dr. Nikephoros Didaskalos).

Description: SCP-XXXX is a group of forty-seven plastic metered-dose inhalers produced by the parapharmacologist known as "dado" (designated PoI-1928). Each inhaler bears the label "gay away spray by dado" on the side, written in black ink, and contain approximately two-hundred doses of albuterol1 spray.

The anomalous properties of SCP-XXXX manifest thirty minutes after inhalation. Affected individuals become affected by acute anhedonia2 and avolition. Subjects display a complete lack of emotional reaction to all but the most extraordinary stimuli and express no motivation to pursue any activity, including routine activities and those they were previously passionate about. The effects of SCP-XXXX appear to be permanent, as no affected subject has demonstrated a recovery from its effects to date. All attempted medical interventions have failed to induce a reduction of symptoms.

Addendum XXXX-A: Recovery
SCP-XXXX was discovered by Foundation agents in June 2016 after receiving reports of twenty-nine young men in Kampala, Uganda being found dead in their homes, having expired from terminal dehydration. Analysis revealed that each of the victims regularly attended therapy sessions with Reverend Kasumba Caudex. Caudex was believed to be a member of the Group of Interest "Flagellants of Saint Longinus" (designated GoI-546), a fundamentalist sect of Christianity known to procure and utilise anomalous objects. On 22/06/2016, Reverend Caudex's church was raided by Foundation agents, where each instance of SCP-XXXX currently in the Foundation's possession were found. Caudex attempted to assault Foundation personnel during SCP-XXXX's recovery, resulting in his death.

The following is the transcript of a series of text messages recovered from Reverend Caudex's phone.

Greetings my friend, are you the alchemist they call dado?


Are you there?

henlo this is dado yes make many fine pharmaceuticals

u see cat log? what u want?

I wanted to order something special actually. A special cure for sinful thoughts.

yes dado make many medicine and fine pill 4 bad thinks.

need specifics though

As a priest, it is my duty to guide and cure my flock. I absolve them of their sins and vile thoughts, but there is one kind I cannot excise. Many of the men who come to me are burdened with unwanted, unnatural thoughts that make them shun women in favour of other men. It is a perversion of the Lord's natural order, a terrible craving of the flesh created by the Devil to drive these men from the righteous path.

As a servant of God, it is my duty to free these men from the chains of lust and carry them back into the light. But these aberrant desires are one of Satan's most devious creations. I've prayed for all these poor souls for nights on end, cleansed them through pain, and even tried exorcism. All of it, all of the pain they went through was for nothing.

r u confuse? dado is science man not god church man.

But that is what I need you for - a magic remedy of yours to cure these men of their "gay feelings", as they call them. I know the Lord condemns users of magic to hellfire, but I would happily suffer in the Devil's grasp so that a single one of these men has a chance to know boundless joy of Heaven. Can you help me?

Are you still there?

o yes sry dado type slow keyboard is broke. i know what is gay

dado has remedy for gay feelings.

Really? Is this the truth?

yes dado look up gay in dictionary. dado has spray 4 gay mood. very big effect.

do 1 spray and gay is away.

Yes, that sounds perfect. When will it be ready and how much will it be? I know you are American so I understand delivering to Uganda may be costly.

ok is done. should be with u in 1 week.

dado not know what a u ganda is but has amazon prime so no charge

dado even send more so u can give 2 freinds. good capitalism practice yes

I can't thank you enough for your generosity.

Bless you. I will never forget your kindness and the Lord shan't either.