Per 
Item #: SCP-KyLe-J
Object Class: Uncontainable
Special Containment Procedures: Listen, I don't give two shits what you have to say but you can't contain this son of a bitch! I've tried everything! I've locked him in a reinforced titanium vault, chained weights to him and sunk him to the bottom of the ocean, hell, I've thrown him in with 682! Yet, everyday, he's back in my office to annoy the shit out of me. I don't care how you handle this monstrosity, just keep him the fuck away from me. And for fucks sake, can whoever is giving him cans of monster every morning please stop? You're not helping the situation.
Description: SCP-Kyle is a humanoid cunt.
Addendum: I tried socializing with Kyle today. Perhaps we could develop a better relationship considering that we see each other everyday. But, nope, Kyle is still a bitch.
