Per 
SCP-XXXX in New Mexico.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be kept inside of a storage warehouse in Site-56's light containment sector. The door to SCP-XXXX's containment area is locked using a five (5) digit password-protected lock in which only personnel with a security clearance level of 3 or above possess a combination. Under no circumstance should a soda product be exposed to SCP-XXXX.
In order to promote positive and cooperative behavior, SCP-XXXX is allowed to listen to a standard radio between 9:00 AM to 10:00 PM. Additionally, seltzer water is to be poured over SCP-XXXX through a disposal chute under the guise that it is a soda product.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a thin metal sculpture of an extraterrestrial humanoid standing roughly 30 centimeters tall and is comprised of a metal which has been observed to withstand minor weather or other detrimental effects without sustaining permanent damage. SCP-XXXX possesses limbs and most facial features from the same metal.
SCP-XXXX is only capable of moving through self propelled flight but doesn't have full control over it's movement, often resulting in an injury towards SCP-XXXX's structure despite being able to withstand effects such as these.
Due to interviews, SCP-XXXX claims to have lost its spacecraft; which doesn't seem to have an exact location or whether it exists or not. When being asked to specify the location of SCP-XXXX's spacecraft, SCP-XXXX claims to have seen it in a rocky desert environment, despite having spent most of it's lifetime in foundation containment. Experiment-XXXX-B was conducted on April 15, 2006, and resulted in a large earthquake in northern Mexico which made many foundation researchers believe this to be the location of SCP-XXXX's spacecraft. See the official report of Experiment-XXXX-B for more info. SCP-XXXX claims that it wants its spacecraft retrieved in order for it to "rule the entire cosmos".
SCP-XXXX desires to consume all things "soda"; in which SCP-XXXX claimed it to be the sole power source for it's spacecraft. When SCP-XXXX is touching a substance that is considered to be a soda product, it will be slowly absorbed until no signs of which is left. The location after SCP-XXXX absorbs the aforementioned soda products are also unknown.
Different variants of soda products were tested to see how SCP-XXXX would react. Here are the recorded results:
| Brand Name | Results | Date |
|---|---|---|
| Sprite | SCP-XXXX touches the soda product and immediately retreats. SCP-XXXX then continues to hiss as it's "hand" appears to be smoking with seltzer. SCP-XXXX, for some reason, decides to attack the bottle containing the soda product; resulting in many minor casualties. | 2019-9-20 |
| Pepsi | SCP-XXXX quickly touches the soda product. No behavior changes in SCP-XXXX; but the soda has completely vanished during testing; only leaving it's bottle behind. The same results were concluded when testing with "Coca-Cola". | 2019-9-20 |
| Mtn Dew | SCP-XXXX touches the soda product casually and then enters a hyperactive-state. Actions performed by SCP-XXXX during this event: Flying in the air, spinning around, dodging bullets, pitying agents and attempting to breach containment. SCP-XXXX was later discovered in the Site-56 storage closet, now in a "hungover" state. | 2019-9-21 |
| Mello Yello | SCP-XXXX reluctantly touched the soda product and claimed it to taste like that of a citrus flavor. The metal that SCP-XXXX is constructed from began to rust after 5 minutes upon contact. | 2019-9-21 |
| Dr Pepper | SCP-XXXX quickly touches the soda product and immediately begins searching for more of the same brand. Upon being recontained, SCP-XXXX attempted to commit suicide (which failed) because "nothing will taste better now". | 2019-9-21 |
| Root Beer | Slight behavior changes and no detrimental effects. SCP-XXXX began having it's radio play country music before telling various acts of mediocre humor. | 2019-9-21 |
| Squirt | SCP-XXXX casually touched the soda product before continuously complaining about the flavor of which. | 2019-9-22 |
| Crush | SCP-XXXX touched the soda product with cautiousness. SCP-XXXX began consuming multiple bottles of other soda products before being recontained. The metal SCP-XXXX is comprised of also showed signs of rusting. | 2019-9-22 |
| Fanta | SCP-XXXX touches the soda product eagerly. SCP-XXXX remains in a relaxed state for the remainder of testing. Several personnel felt the urge to join SCP-XXXX. Only 7 fought the urge. 9 entered testing chamber-B and started engaging in conversations with SCP-XXXX. | 2019-9-22 |
| Rock and Rye | [DATA EXPUNGED] (See Experiment-XXXX-B for results.) | ████-█-██ |
| SCP-2107 | SCP-XXXX touches SCP-2107 and experiences morbid hallucinations for the next week. SCP-XXXX also started screaming at night; which resulted in many personnel complaints. | 2019-9-22 |
The following is an interview with SCP-XXXX.
Dr. Burnswick: Hello SCP-XXXX, how are you today?
SCP-XXXX: Hey there, question; how do you say "hello" in Greek?
Dr. Burnswick: Um, I'm not too sure. Mind if I ask you a few questions?
SCP-XXXX: Ahh, that sucks balls. But yeah, what do 'ya got for me this time.
Dr. Burnswick: Well- uhh, so can you tell me why you seem to love soda so much?
SCP-XXXX: Because they like- they are a fuel source for my "UFO" thing. It tastes so good too. Except for those weird flavors you gave me. Yuck.
Dr. Burnswick: Where is your "UFO" located? And where do you take your fuel?
SCP-XXXX: I will tell you all the answers if you teach me to speak Greek.
Dr. Burnswick: Yeah, I'm not. Just tell me everything you know because I tend to loose my patience quickly.
SCP-XXXX: Well, if that's how you want to play it then fine. If I can obtain the amount of soda I can possibly acquire then I shall descend into the deep dark and mysterious cosmos; never to be seen again. But what's that? Is that a star? No! It's me! In my UFO! I coming back to rescue us.
Dr. Burnswick: Uh, not too sure what you mean by what you're implying here. And who is "us"?
SCP-XXXX: (In Greek) Θα σας πω στα ελληνικά. Από εμάς, εννοώ τους άλλους αθώους ανθρώπους που έχετε κολλήσει εδώ. Ας πάμε γιατί κυλά κυριολεκτικά μπάλες εδώ
Dr. Burnswick: What the hell? I thought you couldn't speak Greek; you need to cooperate with me. This is not a game.
SCP-XXXX: Fine. This may sound like I'm bullshitting, but I advise you; I'm not! My UFO is real. I don't know where, but I'm very close to finding it if you would just let me do my thingy majigy.
Dr. Burnswick: Do you think your UFO is located where Experiment-XXXX-B occured?
SCP-XXXX: Tell whatever the fuck that is because I'm dumb as hell.
Dr. Burnswick: You're kidding, right?
SCP-XXXX: (laughing) Joke on you!
Dr. Burnswick: Would you fucking stop now? It is not even that funny.
SCP-XXXX: Oh alright I'll stop. I just thinks it's funny how-
Dr. Burnswick: Answer my fucking question or you'll feel the wrath of a thousand fucking lions.
SCP-XXXX: No, sir. I do not possess the required information to respond to your query. I have no knowledge of an experiment-something, (inaudible).
Dr. Burnswick: Thank you. That's all I needed. On to the next question, do you know where you came from?
SCP-XXXX: Can I speak in Greek again?
[END OF LOG]
The following interview takes place five (5) minutes after the previous one.
Researcher Pandero: Hey, SCP-XXXX I heard you had a problem with Dr. Burnswick a few minutes ago. I came here to continue the interrogation.
SCP-XXXX: I could spare a minute.
Researcher Pandero: Thank you. I've heard what happened earlier with Dr. Burnswick. Is there a reason as to what happened?
SCP-XXXX: He like shouted at me for being weird or some shit.
Researcher Pandero: I see. Was there any soda involved?
SCP-XXXX: No, but I could go for some right now. If I lend you a 20 would you grab me a bottle, perhaps?
Researcher Pandero: No.
SCP-XXXX: Dammit.
Researcher Pandero: Alright. Where did your natural desire for soda products begin?
SCP-XXXX: Well, I've always loved it. I need it so I can get the fuck out of here.
Researcher Pandero: And go where?
SCP-XXXX: The universe! I want to just go up there and live and stuff. It's fun.
Researcher Pandero: I see. Is there any ulterior motives for that?
SCP-XXXX: Return to Earth once I'm prepared. What will I do when I come back? I rescue my people. The innocent people you have stuck in here makes me absolutely heartbroken. Everyday I pray to the alien god that he will set the innocence free. Do you know how to speak Telugu?
Researcher Pandero: You want to set all the other anomalies free? Do you know how much damage that will bring to Earth itself? And I doubt you have the ability to even control an advanced machine such as a spacecraft.
SCP-XXXX: Hmmm… This may take some time to plan. But I'll show you my true power, John. Mwahahahahahaah!
Researcher Pandero: I have a few more questions so we're not done here.
SCP-XXXX: Can I speak a different language?
Researcher Pandero: Do you have any memories of your past self?
SCP-XXXX: Past self? I've always been me!
Researcher Pandero: I meant, where did you used to live before we put you into custody?
SCP-XXXX: Oh, good question. I lived inside of some sort of, soda shop? I just remember resting in the window and watching people walk by. When the owner left, I would help myself to all the shit they had there. A few people saw me moving but I really don't give a shit.
Researcher Pandero: Did you still have knowledge of your, you know, U.F.O?
SCP-XXXX:Of course. I was still looking for it but never had a good time to. I just spent my time collecting fuel. I've always wanted to try Jazzercise classes, but that never happened and made me sad inside.
Researcher Pandero: Interesting. Now, I need you to tell me if you know anything about this picture.
Researcher Pandero shows SCP-XXXX shows the pictured symbol found in the Experiment-XXXX-B crash site
SCP-XXXX: Oh my alien god! I remember that image! I saw it- somewhere? I just seen, In like a dream or something! I think I'm having Deja Vu!
Researcher Pandero: So you're saying you seen this symbol before?
SCP-XXXX: Obviously! I see it in my dreams like all the time. I've actually seen my U.F.O. in a desert place in one of my dreams so does it mean anything spooky?
Researcher Pandero: We'll have to conduct further tests with your knowledge in the future. For now, you'll be going back to your containment room.
SCP-XXXX: Oh, well so much for that.
[END OF LOG]
Discovery: SCP-XXXX was originally used at a small soda market in Roswell, NM as a prop outside the market window. A small rusty sign was placed in front of SCP-XXXX bearing the following sentence:
| Eernie the Alien! He loves soda and sugar; but will get hyper when given too much, so make sure to keep him away! If you see Eernie trying to take a sip, yell "Stop it Eernie, you don't want to get hyper again!" |
A series of customer complaints referred to the object as "moving on it's own" and "acting strange". Upon investigation by an undercover MTF Iota-10 ("Damn feds") agent, the owners of the shop claimed to have discovered SCP-XXXX dating to around the same time Incident-XXXX-A ocurred. SCP-XXXX was confiscated and taken into foundation custody shortly after. Both owners were given class-A amnestics.
After Experiment-XXXX-B, SCP-XXXX was shipped to Site-56 in Australia.
Addendum-XXXX: Incident-XXXX-A.
Incident Name: Incident-XXXX-A.
Date of incident: 19██, █, ██.
Cover story (if needed): Conventional weather balloon.
Description of incident: On ████ ██, 19██, a supposed "weather balloon" crashed in Roswell, New Mexico, USA, near a ranch. Believed to be a small disc, the government and US Military formed a quick cover story in order to protect the phenomenon's true nature/reasoning.
Homeowners of the nearby ranch were interviewed on the knowledge they gained before being amnesticized by undercover foundation agents.
An image similar to the reported "flying disc" in Roswell.
Addendum-XXXX-1:
Experiment-XXXX-B - 2006-█-██
Subject: SCP-XXXX
Procedure: SCP-XXXX was given a 12-pack of "Rock N' Rye" branded soda inside a testing chamber.
Results: A light earthquake struck Cd. Juarez, Chihuahua, Mexico, roughly 5 minutes after initial testing was conducted. A few minor injuries took place but no major deaths.
Analysis: Reports of strange sounds, lights, and phenomena took place inside of the destruction area. Nearby supermarkets have claimed to lose most of their soda stock. Websites claimed to spot signs of "swamp gas" and that an earthquake was the result of an unidentified flying object errupting from Earth's upper mantle (most notably from the Parawatch Wiki).
Upon investigation near the incident zone, a large symbol was found on the desert surface resembling a "Coca-Cola" bottle. The aforementioned symbol was successfully surrounded using various metal materials whilst being guarded by foundation agents. The origin of which is still currently unknown.
A recovered image of the symbol found within the Experiment-XXXX-B incident zone.
After Experiment-XXXX-B was conducted, SCP-XXXX is prohibited being exposed to a soda product.
Image Credits:
-First alien photo taken by me (Pandero)
-Photo of the symbol created by me using Pixlr editor
-https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/89/UFO-Meersburg.jpg
