Pedagon_Homepage

Critique I owe people

Dune

http://kontainer.djkakt.us/sigma:j-dune-vi

Uncle Charlie Round 2

Special Containment Procedures

Due to the nature of the anomaly, full containment of SCP-XXXX is unfeasible¹. Law enforcement channels and web-crawlers are to monitor² for SCP-XXXX related terminology³. Subjects who have accessed SCP-XXXX are to be interviewed and amnesticized⁴ upon identification.

Presently, all information within this document has been obtained from posthumous accounts of individuals who have accessed SCP-XXXX.

Presently, all information within this document has been obtained from posthumous accounts of individuals who have accessed SCP-XXXX⁵.

Description

SCP-XXXX is "Uncle Charlie's Toys and Games", an extradimensional location accessible only to individuals that possess a number of shared attributes.
SCP-XXXX's manifestation is more likely to occur if an individual:

SCP-XXXX is "Uncle Charlie's Toys and Games", an extradimensional location accessible only to individuals that possess a number of shared attributes; although a manifestation increases in likelihood for individualys that possess more of the common attributes⁶. A manifestation of SCP-XXXX may only occur if an individual:

The means by which SCP-XXXX makes itself known are personalized. However, a general pattern between all accounts of SCP-XXXX manifestation has been established.

The means by which SCP-XXXX makes itself known are personalized to its target; however, a general pattern between all accounts of SCP-XXXX manifestation has been established.

SCP-XXXX advertisements often feature the store's mascot — SCP-XXXX-A. SCP-XXXX-A is 'Uncle Charlie' — a rotund, horned humanoid with hairless, red skin, dressed in a black and white striped suit and top hat. These illustrations portray SCP-XXXX-A as a jovial character, playing with toys or outstretching its hand towards the reader.

SCP-XXXX advertisements often feature the store's mascot — 'Uncle Charlie' — which has been designated as SCP-XXXX-A. SCP-XXXX-A is a rotund, horned humanoid with hairless, red skin, dressed in a black-and-white striped suit and top hat. Illustrations on advertisements for SCP-XXXX portray SCP-XXXX-A as a jovial character, playing with toys or outstretching its hand towards the reader in an invitational manner.

SCP-XXXX will manifest in a location nearby the residence of the subject and will provide precise directions towards the manifestation on all of its advertisements. These directions are nonsensical, but if followed correctly, will allow the subject to access SCP-XXXX. The exterior of the anomaly resembles a conventional storefront and is only accessible to the targeted individual. Attempts to access the location while others are present have resulted in failure of the anomaly to manifest.

SCP-XXXX will manifest in a location nearby the residence of the subject and will provide precise directions towards the manifestation on all of its advertisements. These directions are nonsensical, but, if followed correctly, will allow anyone matching the selection criteria to access SCP-XXXX. The exterior of the anomaly resembles a conventional storefront and is only accessible to individuals fitting its criteria. Attempts to access the location while others were present have resulted in the anomaly failing to manifest.

SCP-XXXX resembles a dilapidated toy store that has experienced heavy fire-damage. Products found in the anomaly are entirely unique to SCP-XXXX and appear to be mass-produced. They all bear the names of unidentified companies, pieces of media, and intellectual properties. However, apart from their physical existence and source, products recovered from SCP-XXXX have not demonstrated any anomalous effects and can be compared to ordinary toys.

SCP-XXXX's interior resembles a dilapidated toy store that has experienced heavy fire-damage. Products found inside of the anomaly are entirely unique to SCP-XXXX and appear to be mass-produced; they all bear the names of unidentified companies, pieces of media, and intellectual properties. However, apart from their physical existence and source, products recovered from SCP-XXXX have not demonstrated any anomalous effects and can be compared to ordinary toys in function and design.

While inside SCP-XXXX, individuals will feel demonstrate ecstatic and childish behavior, such as playing with products for extended periods of time or singing to themselves. Following time spent in SCP-XXXX, the targeted individual will be subject to a form of retrograde amnesia, where the majority of memories from before the individual's 18th birthday become completely lost. The exact process by which this occurs is unknown. All subjects recall feeling drawn towards a large wooden door within the anomaly before waking up hours later in the same location outside of the store, where SCP-XXXX will have disappeared. Subjects will be unable to recall events that occurred following seeing the door. There have been no recorded instances of an individual accessing SCP-XXXX twice.

While inside SCP-XXXX, individuals will demonstrate ecstatic and childish behavior, such as playing with products for extended periods of time or singing juvenile songs to themselves. Following time spent in SCP-XXXX, the targeted individual will be subject to a form of retrograde amnesia, where the majority of memories from before the individual's 18th birthday become completely lost. The exact process by which this occurs is unknown. All subjects have recalled feeling drawn towards a large wooden door within the anomaly before waking up hours later in the same location outside of the store, where SCP-XXXX will have disappeared. Subjects will be unable to recall events that occurred following seeing the door. There have been no recorded instances of an individual accessing SCP-XXXX twice.

As this would be the first opportunity for the Foundation to directly research SCP-XXXX, Lee Boletto was promptly conscripted into the Foundation's internal command structure as a D-Class personnel, under the designation D-680.

This is pretty cold in the name of research on a non-dangerous anomaly. I've given some suggestions above to make it so that the thing manifests according to the target but can be accessed by anyone meeting the selection criteria. Up to you but I just think this is exceptionally cold.

Researcher Starse: What houses did you grow up in?

Researcher Starse: Where did you grow up? What was your childhood home like?

Overall
I honestly love this skip and I'm mad for not thinking of it first. It's everything I love about series 1 but done well! The biggest things are just the things I mentioned already. Just clarifying things and dealing with weird structure and grammar. But I think it's nearly there and I would +1 it even if it were posted like this (although it would be a happier +1 with some fixes)

Uncle Charlie Round 1

Description

SCP-XXXX is "Uncle Charlie's Toys and Games", an extradimensional location accessible to individuals fitting a certain criteria.
Individuals capable of accessing SCP-XXXX possess a number of shared attributes. SCP-XXXX's manifestation is more likely to occur if an individual:

SCP-XXXX is "Uncle Charlie's Toys and Games", an extradimensional location accessible only(?) to individuals that possess a number of shared attributes. If they share attributes but the list just makes it more likely then what goes into either set? What are the universal requirements and what increases the chance of event? SCP-XXXX's manifestation is more likely to occur if an individual:

Was forced to take responsibility typically befitting of an adult during their childhood

There is more clinical terminology you could use here but my mind is drawing a blank. I’ll go through some of my notes and get back to you.

Had few relationships with other children outside of their family

Had few extrafamilial relationships with other children outside

Has lived in a foster care system, or is adopted

Was raised by guardians unrelated by blood do only these options count or could it also be like kids raised by grandparents? Does that count as adoption?

Experienced the death of a family member or significant individual as a child

What counts as a significant individual? What counts as experience? Do they witness it or does it only have to happen?

Displays general uncertainty while recalling childhood memories

Experiences difficulty in recalling childhood memories. Yours is also fine but “general uncertainty” is vague. I have an awful memory so is that what you mean or are we talking like a general non-perfect memory?

SCP-XXXX manifestations occur on an individual basis, and the means by which the location makes itself known are personalized.

I like the personalized awareness but the “manifestations occur in an individual basis” doesn’t really make sense to me. Does that just mean they occur only to the individual’s perception, nearby the individual, or like they occur when the individual wants them to?

However, a general pattern between all accounts of SCP-XXXX manifestation has been established.
An individual fitting the profile described above will be made aware of SCP-XXXX through a variety of means, including television commercials, web-based advertisements, newspaper ads, and appearances in dreams.. These advertisements will increase in frequency in an attempt to coerce the individual into traveling to SCP-XXXX.

However, a general pattern between all accounts of SCP-XXXX manifestation has been established; the subject targeted(?) by SCP-XXXX will be made aware of the anomaly through a variety of modalities, including television commercials, web-based advertisements, newspaper ads, and appearances in dreams. These advertisements will increase in frequency in an attempt to coerce the subject into traveling to SCP-XXXX. just connecting the threads to tell the story because having them separated made the first sentence feel disconnected

These materials are self-containing

These materials are self-obscuring or some other more SCP word. Memetic?

This property applies to copies of SCP-XXXX related promotional materials such as photographs or recordings, making complete archival of them impossible.

This property extends to representations and imitations of SCP-XXXX related promotional materials, such as photographs or recordings, making complete archival of the anomaly impossible.

SCP-XXXX's location is relative to the individual it is targeting, and directions to SCP-XXXX will be listed on its advertisements.

SCP-XXXX will manifest in a location typically frequented by/nearby the residence of the subject and will provide precise directions towards the manifestation on all of its advertisements. again just being more specific on what you mean by relative

Upon examination by unaffected personnel, these directions are nonsensical and often lead off-road or to undeveloped land.

When examined by anyone other than the subject, the directions will appear to be nonsensical and often lead off-road or to undeveloped land.

However, if the targeted individual successfully follows them, they will find SCP-XXXX.

Not necessary. This is inferred.

SCP-XXXX will often be situated in a remote outdoor area away from roads and other people.

No change but this does contradict some prior stuff. This implies that the subject should be near an area like this and probably multiple if the Foundation can claim that it’s location is dependant upon the subject. Connect this to the subject.

The exterior of the anomaly resembles a conventional storefront, with a small parking lot and sidewalk in front of it. A roadside sign featuring SCP-XXXX's logo and SCP-XXXX-A is positioned near the edge of the parking lot.

I believe this should be right near the top of the description. We learn what the -A is before the anomaly itself.

SCP-XXXX is only accessible to the targeted individual, and attempts to access the location while others are present have failed.

What does a failure look like? Is it like a force field situation or a mental block?

SCP-XXXX's interior extends beyond the limits of the location's exterior dimensions. Due to limited research opportunities, measurements of this space have not been recorded.

The interior of SCP-XXXX is far larger than its exterior; however, accurate measurements have thus far not been recorded due to limited exploration possibilities. define limited research opportunities

The floor level of SCP-XXXX is a dilapidated toy store, most of which has been fire-damaged.

The floor level of SCP-XXXX resembles a dilapidated toy store that has experienced heavy fire-damage. By specifying the floor level I wonder about the other floors and why we don’t get told about them here

Products found in SCP-XXXX do not exist in baseline reality. They appear to be mass-produced, bearing the names of non-existent companies, pieces of media, and intellectual properties. Despite this, products recovered from SCP-XXXX have not demonstrated any anomalous effects beyond their existence, and function as ordinary toys.

Products found within SCP-XXXX do not exist in baseline reality what does this mean? Are they violating laws of physics? Extraneous to reality? Or do you just mean that they are unique to SCP-XXXX? and appear to be mass-produced. They all bear the names of unidentified they clearly exist *here* though. So I think it needs to say more specifically what this means in context companies, pieces of media, and intellectual properties. However, apart from their physical existence and source, products recovered from SCP-XXXX have not demonstrated any anomalous effects and function as ordinary toys. Are they able to be compared to ordinary toys? I was picturing like wacky devices but this makes me think they are just like yo-yos with an unknown brand

While inside SCP-XXXX, individuals will recall feeling at peace, and demonstrating unusually ecstatic and childish behavior, such as playing with products for extended periods of time or singing to themselves.

While within SCP-XXXX, individuals will feel a sense of peace peace and ecstatic behaviour kind of oppose. Does one occur before the other? Or do you just mean they forget about stressors and worries?and will demonstrate unusually unusual like manic or just unusual for the specific subject? ecstatic and childish behavior, such as playing with products for extended periods of time how much time am I allowed to play with toys or sing before I’m deemed childish? or singing to themselves.

Following time spent in SCP-XXXX, the targeted individual will be subject to a form of retrograde amnesia, where the majority of memories from before the individual's 18th birthday become completely lost. The process by which this occurs is unknown, as all individuals report feeling drawn towards a large wooden door before waking up hours later in a nearby outdoor location, unable to recall further events. SCP-XXXX will have disappeared, and the individual will be unable to access the location again.

I feel like we skipped a step here of talking about how they exit the anomaly? Does it happen after a certain action, length of time, etc? All subjects who have entered SCP-XXXX have reported feeling drawn towards a large wooden door where is the door? Inside? Or like is it a mental door like being drawn to the light? before waking up hours later in a nearby outdoor location nearby in their frame to where they live or do they remember where the SCP was? If so, I’m just curious of why they wake up nearby to where the SCP was and not like on the ground directly where it was. SCP-XXXX will have disappeared, and the individual will be unable to access the location again What does this mean? Does the building remain and they can no longer enter or is there just a plot of land they can’t walk on like holy ground and a demon?. If they are “unable to recall further events” then how do we have these descriptions?. Shortly after leaving SCP-XXXX, the subject will begin to lose their memories from before their 18th birthday as a form of retrograde amnesia; the process by which this occurs is currently unknown.

As of 2020/10/12, a Foundation-led exploration of SCP-XXXX has been conducted following a subject successfully accessing the location. See Addendum.XXXX.1 for details.

On 2020/10/12, the Foundation was made aware of an SCP-XXXX manifestation and initiated an exploration of the anomaly State here that they used someone who met the criteria. See Addendum.XXXX.1 for details.

Not_a_seagull

http://topia.wikidot.com/the-bird-machine

Bird Machine Round 2

Special Containment Procedures

Area XXXX is established near SCP-XXXX to facilitate containment. The area surrounding SCP-XXXX has been demarcated with a barbed wire fence. No civilians are allowed to enter this area.

Area XXXX has been⁷ established near SCP-XXXX to facilitate containment. The perimeter surrounding SCP-XXXX has been demarcated with a barbed wire fence⁸. No civilians are to be granted entry into either the area surrounding SCP-XXXX or Area-XXXX⁹.

On a biweekly basis, a semitrailer truck must be driven by a Foundation operative to the gate of SCP-XXXX. Then, the operative must wait for SCP-XXXX-1 to load avians or equivalent into the truck's trailer. After the truck has returned to Area XXXX, the resulting biological material may either be incinerated or transported to Foundation sites for use in containing other SCP objects.

On a biweekly basis, a semitrailer truck must be driven by a Foundation operative to the gate of SCP-XXXX. add some action here. We end last sentence by driving through the gate of what I have interpreted as the containment zone's barbed wire fencing. Then we have the operative wait for it to be loaded up. Where does the operative park the vehicle once inside the gate? It just feels like there needs to be a path here of "The operative is then to park the vehicle at one of the many loading docks and signal to the SCP-XXXX-1 instances." or something. Then, the operative must wait for SCP-XXXX-1 to load avians, or equivalent, into the truck's trailer. Same thing here. I believe in conprocs being extremely specific because they are procedures. Just a line like "Once the loading dock instances signal that the truck is full, the agent must drive the truck directly to Area-XXXX." After the truck has returned to Area XXXX, the resulting biological material must either be incinerated or transported to Foundation sites for use in containing other SCP objects.

Description

SCP-XXXX are a set of assembly lines and machining equipment contained within an industrial site in the Selva de Irati, Navarra, Spain. Specifically, Markings covering the building indicate that it was built for the production of avian animals. Of note is SCP-XXXX's remote location, making it impractical to operate as a factory through standard methods. SCP-XXXX involves several anomalous machines; for instance, an acid bath capable of converting any matter to bird organs, and a set of robotic arms capable of seamlessly concatenating these parts into an organic lifeform. The remainder are non-anomalous assembly machines. These machines are capable of being operated by non-anomalous humans and SCP-XXXX-1.

SCP-XXXX are a set of assembly lines and machining equipment contained within an industrial site in the¹⁰ Selva de Irati, Navarra, Spain. Of note is SCP-XXXX's remote location, which makes it impractical to operate as a factory through standard methods¹¹. Markings covering the building indicate that it was specifically built for the production of avian animals¹². SCP-XXXX involves several anomalous machines; for instance, SCP-XXXX includes an acid bath capable of converting any matter to bird organs and a set of robotic arms capable of seamlessly concatenating these parts into organic lifeforms. The remainder of the components are non-anomalous assembly machines. These machines are each capable of being operated by non-anomalous humans and SCP-XXXX-1.

When objects are placed into the receiving ends of SCP-XXXX, they will be processed into living avian specimens. SCP-XXXX is able to produce a variety of bird species; while in Foundation containment, it has been observed to produce game birds, gulls, and birds of prey. Thus far, no pattern has been observed.

When objects are placed into the receiving ends of SCP-XXXX, they will be processed into living avian specimens. While in Foundation containment, SCP-XXXX has been shown to be able to produce a variety of bird species; in particular, SCP-XXXX has been observed to produce game birds, gulls, and birds of prey. Thus far, no pattern has been observed.

SCP-XXXX is staffed by 25 or more instances of SCP-XXXX-1. SCP-XXXX-1 are similar in appearance to non-anomalous humans; however, they do not have eyes, and their faces constantly display an expression of grimace. In addition, vivisections of SCP-XXXX-1 instances have revealed that they have no internal organs and are composed entirely of an organic paste. When removed from the site containing SCP-XXXX, SCP-XXXX-1 instances will rapidly decompose into this paste.

^¹³SCP-XXXX is staffed by 25 or more instances of SCP-XXXX-1 at all times. SCP-XXXX-1 are similar in appearance to non-anomalous humans; however, they lack eyes and their faces constantly display a grimacing expression. Vivisections of SCP-XXXX-1 instances have revealed that they also lack internal organs and are composed entirely of an organic paste. When removed from the site containing SCP-XXXX, SCP-XXXX-1 instances will rapidly decompose into this paste.

SCP-XXXX-1 instances can only speak using a selection of pre-determined phrases, rendering them unable to communicate beyond their limited vocabularity. As such, their sentience is debated.

SCP-XXXX-1 instances can only speak using a selection of pre-determined phrases, rendering them unable to communicate beyond their limited vocabulary. As such, their sentience is debated.

So far, SCP-XXXX-1 has been observed to only use the following phrases.

So far, SCP-XXXX-1 instances have¹⁴ been observed to only use the following phrases.

This was said in a melancholic tone, in contrast to the usual jovial tone.

This was said in a melancholic tone, contrasting their usually jovial demeanor.

Sub-Reports

In addition to the chamber containing SCP-XXXX

We haven't really discussed a chamber yet. Only a barbed wire fence surrounding the whole area. Are the SCP-XXXX components also in a containment chamber of their own?

In addition to the chamber containing SCP-XXXX, the aforementioned industrial site encompasses several administrative offices. These offices appear to have been used for several months prior to the discovery of SCP-XXXX. There are fake computers in this office; they are nonfunctional blocks of plastic with tinted glass engraved into them. This strategy is used to imitate other appliances in the office, including the copy machine, the coffee maker and the lighting system.

In addition to the chamber containing SCP-XXXX, the aforementioned industrial site encompasses several administrative offices that appear to have been used for several months prior to the discovery of SCP-XXXX. These offices contain a series of imitations of common office machinery, such as fake computers, copy machines, coffee makers, and lighting systems. These imations are made out of thick plastic and do not function; however, the tinted glass used in the place of screens have been etched and engraved to look like they are running properly.

I am contacting you regarding how business has become time is money. Bird factory is estimated to produce irregarding 10,000 units between September 2020 and August 2002. I think we want to make money here; I thought this was obvious?
Don't waste any more of our time, cut the slack, Jack!
- Rodney

Beautiful

On September 23rd, 2020, a vehicle drove to the industrial site containing SCP-XXXX. The object was designed in the facsimile of a tanker truck, despite the fact that it very clearly had undergone several modifications, making it more circular in shape. Three quadrupedal entities exited the spacecraft, leading several instances of SCP-XXXX-1 into the factory.

On September 23rd, 2020, an unidentified vehicle drove to the industrial site containing SCP-XXXX. Eye witnesses described the unknown vehicle as a facsimile of a tanker truck, despite the fact that it very clearly had undergone several modifications making it more circular in shape. Upon ariving at the loading docks, Three quadrupedal entities exited the spacecraft, leading several instances of SCP-XXXX-1 into the factory.

Its a bad idea

http://scpdsandbox.wikidot.com/newskip-3

McRonalds Round 1

Special Containment Procedures

SCP-XXXX is held in a standard containment cell at Site-90. All changes in SCP-XXXX's form are to be reported to the acting HMCL Supervisor. SCP-XXXX's cell is to be recorded via CCTV surveillance at all times. Footage is to be reviewed should SCP-XXXX make any changes to its physical form.
Testing on the object is currently suspended. Interaction with the object is forbidden.

Euclid with throw it in a box and watch ConProcs? Theres nothing else? What about compressing it or stretching it out? If mass doesn't change then you can compress it easily and stretch it to make it super light and transportable. And they don't know its origin. How do they deal with possible future instances?

Description

SCP-XXXX is an amorphous mass1 of polymer, plastic, and a currently unidentified elastic substance.

SCP-XXXX is a 4m x 3m x 2m amorphous mass of polymer, plastic, and a currently unidentified elastic substance¹⁵.

SCP-XXXX is able to periodically alter its physical properties, including size, shape, color, and weight2.

SCP-XXXX is able to periodically alter its physical properties, including size, shape, color, and weight, although its mass remains consistent¹⁶.

SCP-XXXX is also able to fragment itself into separate constitute parts, which each retain its original anomalous properties.

Do these also retain original mass? If it was important above then I think its important here. That would be super interesting to me

a set of plastic silverware, paper plates, and napkins, arranged in a circular fashion around the perimeter of the containment cell.

a set of plastic silverware, paper plates, and napkins. Objects were arranged in a circular fashion around the perimeter of the containment cell¹⁷.

Bos taurus,

Consider adding a footnote to common name?

Close study of SCP-XXXX is difficult, as individuals within a 2-meter radius of SCP-XXXX for a prolonged period of time undergo a variety of health issues, including severe headaches, nausea, partial blindness, total blindness, and subconjunctival bleeding.

Close study of SCP-XXXX is difficult as individuals within a 2-meter radius of SCP-XXXX for a prolonged period of time undergo a variety of health issues, including severe headaches, nausea, partial blindness, total blindness, and subconjunctival bleeding.

Further study on the matter has been deemed unimportant by Site-90 research personnel.

Further study on SCP-XXXX has been deemed a low priority by Site-90 research personnel as a result of the measured benefits and risks of study.

Following periods of testing, SCP-XXXX's transmutations typically increase in complexity. As such, SCP-XXXX is hypothesized to possess a limited awareness of its surroundings; however, standard sentience/sapience tests have yielded inconclusive results. As a measure of precaution, interaction with the object is severely limited at this time.

Throughout testing of its anomalous properties, SCP-XXXX's transmutations were determined to be increasing in complexity¹⁸. As such, SCP-XXXX is hypothesized to possess a limited awareness of its surroundings; however, standard sentience/sapience tests have yielded inconclusive results. As a measure of precaution, interaction with the object is severely limited at this time¹⁹.

SCP-XXXX was brought to the Foundation's attention after McDonald's employee Brian Medding was found dead by coworkers on the morning of August 22, 1993. Medding was found in the building's walk-in freezer with the doors locked from the inside. A rudimentary barricade had been constructed out of frozen food products within the freezer, presumably by Medding prior to death.

SCP-XXXX was brought to the Foundation's attention after McDonald's employee Brian Medding was found dead by coworkers on the morning of August 22, 1993 in the building's walk-in freezer with the doors locked from the inside. A rudimentary barricade had been constructed out of frozen food products within the freezer, presumably by Medding prior to death.

Medding's cause of death was determined to be internal hemorrhaging of the brain, although there were no signs of blunt force trauma. The body had not undergone standard decomposition due to the low temperature of the environment, but Medding was presumed to have been dead for several days before being discovered.

Medding's cause of death was determined to be the result of a brain hemorrhage²⁰, although there were no signs of blunt force trauma. At the time of discovery, Medding was presumed to have been dead for several days before being discovered; although the body had not undergone standard decomposition due to the low temperature of the environment.

During a sweep of the building, agents reported intense headaches and nosebleeds while inside a storage closet directly adjacent to the building's freezer. All items were removed and individually analyzed.

During a sweep of the building, agents reported intense headaches and nosebleeds while inside a storage closet directly adjacent to the building's freezer - prompting all items to be removed and individually analyzed.

It was determined that a discarded McDonald's employee uniform was the source of the effect.

How did they determine this if they didn't know the effects yet? Was it like a scanner or some chemical analysis or something?

Overall
Genuinely loved it. It was spooky and goofy in the perfect way. Only narrative critique things are that the final emails are very prose-esque and don't feel like someone warning their friend. Could do with some restructuring to feel more urgent. Also, the emails don't make sense to me in relation to the body being found days later. I might just be dumb, but I feel like they would have checked on Brian right away after this. Unless the anomaly took brian's form, but I didn't get that from the article. Unless it's meant to be that the anomaly was also the one emailing people but your description says it is getting more complex when responding to emails and stuff would be more complex than anything else you listed.

Ayumi

http://kaktuskontainer.wikidot.com/kaito-s-daily-life

Because this is long and a tale so I dont want to take over from you I am just going to go through the whole thing and leave my random thoughts and feelings. Take whatever you want!

Kaito's Daily Life Round 2

Agent Kaito Tamura was at Hall 12 in Site-40, carrying out his standard guarding routine. In the hall, He checks around the containment cells, the D-class dorms, and research facilities for any signs of anomalous activity to report on. Such as missing anomalies, holes in the wall, signs of aggression, among other signs.

Can you spend more time on these duties and things he sees as "standard" and "routine"? This will build the world around Kaito and help me understand him as a person and see what he lives like. Doesn't need to be very long, just more descriptive like "Agent Kaito Tamura strolled casually through Hall 12, marking his third time completing his assigned guard route at Site-40 that morning. Like any other day, he walked past the numerous containment cells, D-class dorms, and research facilities and checked for any obvious signs of anomalous activity to report on - missing anomalies, holes in the wall, signs of aggression, and a handful of other signs."

The hall was mostly empty, save for a few guards stationed at their place, whom Kaito greeted. The phrase "Hall 12" was placed on the clean wall, and lined with doors. He placed his ear on the anomalies door to hear anything, but, as usual, it was silent.

Changed some grammar things

It was his usual routine. He occasionally got bored while pacing the halls but he usually didn’t mind.

He yearned, like many agents did, for a little more action in his life at the Foundation. Maybe a containment breach, being able to see an MTF contain an anomaly back into its cell. He thought that he might like to see that.
But no, He never got to see that. Though a big part of him was glad because at least he’s still alive. That’s all that matters.

I'm interested in why he wants to see this? What is his background? Did he used to be a cop and misses the action or did he work a normal job and now just daydreams? Did he join the foundation in the hope of living a more exciting life? These are the kinds of things I am left wondering about

But Kaito yawned and took off his combat helmet, feeling his black hair sticking to his forehead because of sweat. He went over to an empty room to take a break. Stretching his strained muscles, he decided to go on his phone for a little while.

We talked about making this more nichijou-ish so one way you could do that would be to put a line break here and treat the next little section from his perspective of his fantasy. Take him out of the dreary Site-40 and make it feel like he is in a fantasy setting now (from his imagination while playing the game). That would be some cool characterization and would make the janitor waking him up more of an impactful moment.

He pulled out his phone and opened his favourite game, a collectible RPG. Reaching for his headphones, he remembered that they had broken and that he was going to buy new ones later. So, instead, he simply lowered the volume slightly to make sure no one could hear him.

Suggested grammar changes

The game openned to a prompt for his daily summon.

Suggested reword

“Good Morning Master” The woman on the screen greeted. “What brings you here today”.

Kaito smiled slightly, a nice little break from a mind-numbing job. He sat down and tried to hide his phone with the handkerchief he was carrying around.

Who was he hiding his phone from? Was there someone else there?

“Ok, who's the new summon for today,” he thought as he went over to his new mission.

He pondered though, Would it be nice to have an exciting life like these characters; going around fighting monsters, helping those in need, and dedicating themselves to the goal they are assigned to.

I want to know more about the game and charcters for this to make sense. Right now, I have not been told that the characters are exciting. For all I know, it could be a summon game about summoning office workers.

Like those MTFs he sees occasionally, being admired and being able to combat unspeakable monsters………

This is where I would put the other line break for if you go through my suggestion of making the game section more visual and feel more alive.

“Hey, you!” A janitor called out. “What are you doing?”

Kaito nearly dropped his phone when heard the janitor calling. He closed his phone, put it in his pockets, and faced the janitor. His face was completely red as he stood up.

Awesome! Although could use more description of him fumbling with his phone

“What are you doing here kid?” The janitor asked. “Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

Personally, it makes little sense for the janitor to be telling off a guard. Although if you describe the janitor a little I might believe it more. Has he been there a long time? Is he like the head admin of janitorial staff? I think someone in the scpd discord has a whole janitor heirarchy in their author page you could pull in.

“Ohhhh…… I was a-about to g-go to back to work” Kaito replied, continuing to blush.

“Oh god, what am I supposed to do?!” Kaito thought as his eyes darted around the room.

“Then what’s with all the noise here?”

Kaito froze at the mention of noises

“Oh! That's uh… That was nothing!”

Kaito immediately grabbed his helmet and exited the room he was in. The Janitor furrowed his brows at the man before deciding to continue his cleaning.

Kaito ran out of the hall and into the bathroom, which was thankfully empty. Going over to the sink, he took a deep breath as he tried to calm down.

“Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit”

Kaito lifted his head and looked at himself in the mirror. He saw that his face was flushed red, contrasting his fair skin, and he was sweating profusely.

“Ok Kaito relax, Just take a deep breath and return back to back to the hall, It’s that easy.”

He took a deep inhale and then exhaled. Inhale exhale. Inhale exhale.

Inhale exhale. Inhale exhale. Inhale exhale. Inhale exhale. Inhale exhale. Inhale exhale. Inhale exhale. Inhale exhale. Inhale exhale. Inhale exhale. Inhale exhale. Inhale exhale. Inhale exhale. Inhale exhale. Inhale exhale. Inhale exhale. Inhale exhale. Inhale exhale.

Inhale exhale. Inhale exhale. Inhale exhale.

I actually really like these inhales and exhales. It sounds very real like a panic attack. But why is he having a panic attack if he's a guard?

"Excuse me, sir" Kaito felt someone tapping on his shoulder. He turned to see a researcher looking at him

"Are you ok?" The man in front of him asked.

"Oh shit not again". Kaito thought as he looked at the middle-aged man in front of him.

"Uhhhhhh…Sorry I was just.." He tried to find an excuse so he can leave "I was just a… fixing myself "

He saw that the researcher tilted his head before nodding and heading into one of the stalls.

Kaito soon ran out of the bathroom and stopped right outside the bathroom door.

"Jesus, What's wrong with me today" he thought as he put his helmet back on. "Guess I should go back to work now and forget about it."

I think Kaito needs more time to correct his anxiety attack before just being like "Whelp. Guess I gotta go back to work now!" I just think you should give him some time to compose himself at his locker or on a bench or something

Kaito left Hall-12 to examine the next one, trying to get his mind off what happened earlier.

Instead of describing where he is leaving, tell me where he is going. Since he went hall-12 to the break room to bathroom, so it's not clear that he is in hall-12 anymore. So it's not as necessary to say he is leaving hall-12.

---

Kaito collapsed onto his bed, as soon as he got back to his room. He smiled as he felt the soft mattress on his body, a nice time to relax after a long day of walking. He put his earphones on his bedside table

We skipped a lot to get here. What about the rest of his day? How did we get from hall-12 to here? In a character study you would usually at least make a slight statement of movement since this is a slice of life study of this character in the grand scheme of their life. It's like how studio Ghibli shows characters walking between destinations in short little scenes instead of cutting directly there. It makes the scene feel alive. And weren't his headphones broken?

His room was cozy, to say the least, In the blank wall of his dorm, were some posters of some games he played, photos of him and his family, and some foundation documents he placed on the wall for him to remember. It's mostly empty, with only a bed, a bedside table, a desk and chair, a closet, and an attached bathroom.

What are the posters of and what documents is he studying? Is this for his normal job that he should already know or is he moving to other duties/routes? Why is he learning more things for his normal route?

Kaito stopped and pulled out his phone and continue playing his game again. Starting off where he left off, he continued the current quest: Trying to slay a dragon.

continuing the fantasy descriptions you could put a page break here and then describe the next section, again, like it was a fantasy world and his imagination is running free while he plays

"Take this" the man in the white armor shouted as he grabbed his flaming swords and charged at the creature.

Kaito smiled as the man managed to slaughter the dragon. He didn’t know why but he always felt happy whenever he saw the man. Seeing the man whenever he takes his helmet off, the idea of holding his strong arms…

Another page break and back to reality

Then he heard a knock on the door, so pausing his game, he went over to see who it was.

When he opened his door, and he felt his heart dropped when he saw the janitor from earlier.

“Excuse me, sir,” the janitor said, “But you dropped your ID card.”

Kaito just froze when he heard he nearly lost his ID.

“Oh, sorry about that. Guess I was a little careless.” He replied in a shaky voice as he grabbed his card.

“Anyways, I was wondering about all those noises earlier, you know the ones on your little phone.”

“Fuck, He’s on to me”

Looking around, Kaito blocked the doorway with his arms, ensuring the janitor doesn't see his game posters.

"Jesus I really shouldn't have played that game earlier"

"Oh those noises, I was just watching an ani-I mean a video I found"

He thought it was an awkward sight, A tall guy in full combat uniform talking to a slightly shorter janitor.

He can see the janitor eyeing him. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK….

"So yeah sorry about that" Kaito replied but his mind was going haywire at this point

"God what should I do"

"I should have just waited"

"What's he gonna do"

"Well, Just don't do those things again" The janitor replied before leaving to clean up the next dorm over.

Don't do what things? Why was the janitor at his dorm? MAybe make this conversation happen while the janitor grabs Kaito's garbage? I just need more to visualize this interaction and understand why the janitor is being so mean to Kaito

Kaito breathed a sigh of relief as he closed his door. His otaku hobbies were nearly exposed. God, He should be more careful next time. Thank god He kept it safe.

That or the janitor wasn't very interested at all.

Either way, Kaito felt pretty dirty, so he went over to the attached bathroom to finally take a shower

---

Kaito breathed in and out as lifted the barbells in his arms. The gym was jam-packed again today and he wanted to get enough training as possible.

Often times, Kaito will go to the nearby gym once a week to get his muscles ready. His somewhat muscular body shined with sweat as continued lifting the barbells in his arms.

Soon his arms felt strained and he soon dropped the barbells to the ground. He went over to the seat near the showers to take a break and rest his swollen muscles.

He looked around the gym, seeing them doing their usual workout routine. Some continued their training while others like Kaito just simply rested before going back to working out.

Kaito grabbed his bag from below the bench and grabbed his water bottle to take a sip. As he sat there drinking, another man entered the gym area. Kaito finished drinking, curious to see who it was, and felt his heart sank when he saw who the man was.

"Fuck, It's Commander Grant" He thought as the tall, tan, muscular man went over to the lockers.

God, Please Don't see me, Please Don't see me, please don't see me

Kaito hid his face from the Grant, who simply walked past him and into the locker room. Kaito sighed in relief as he saw Grant close the door behind him.

Kaito walked over to the treadmill, deciding to continue his exercise routine.

"Alright time for a run." He said as hopped on the treadmill.

Setting the speed to low, he began to lightly jog. He took a deep breath and felt himself

I've left my comments throughout but the big things I believe could use work are grammar and sentence structure, experience vs description, and pacing. Think of a character study as a look at a specific part of someone's life. So far nothing especially interesting has happenned so I can't really talk about pacing. HOWEVER, when something does happen, I would want to see it contrast to Kaito's life. A good example of character study in an action oriented way would be Sean of the Dead. In that movie, they first show a typical day of Sean's life from waking up through going to bed. Then, when things start going crazy, it all gets contrasted against what we saw of his normal life. This way, the action is put through the lens of Sean and we learn more about Sean by seeing how he reacts and responds to the new situation. That is what your character study should really be doing. Let me know what Kaito is like on a typical day so that when he experiences some big event we can see him respond and grow. That is the beauty of a character study.

TheDevelopingCookie

http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-13831319/spooky-farmhouse-crawling-with-black-ghosts#post-4802545

Spooky farmhouse crawling with black ghosts  Round 2

Responded to your idea thread

Ralliston (Greedy boy)

http://scpdsandbox.wikidot.com/ontokinetics-part-2

Halfway Found Halfway Lost Round 1

Conprocs

sheworth, Asheworth

Makes it sound like they are saying she worth. I would just ether start the fade at worth or do Asheworth twice to tell the reader how to pronounce it to get your intended effect

A buzzing, drilling sound filled his head as a women's voice entered his ears.

I struggle to picture this. Are you like describing the ringing in the ears after a trauma effect? Might consider something more like:

With the blinding white light leaving his eyes, Daniel Asheworth stood up from the rocky ground he had been laying on for what he approximated to be a long time, judging by the overwhelming feeling of not being able to move entering his spine.

Is the light in his eyes, did something happen to move it, or did he like do something about it?

Daniel Asheworth rubbed his eyes to adjust to the blinding white light descending upon him and stood up from the rocky ground he had been laying on. Judging by the overwhelming feeling of not being able to move entering his spine

this piece makes little sense to me. Are you saying he is in too much pain to move or that he can actually feel that he can’t move in his spine?

Upon further inspection, the place seemed to be no different from the floor he was sitting on just seconds ago; the cave the man found himself into was a rather small one, extending merely 10 meters in both directions, with the ceiling standing approximately 4 meters tall.

Im confused by the first bit. He’s looking around at where he was on the ground and saying it’s similar to where he was sitting. But it’s the same exact floor, right?

Jessie Rivera replied harshly, getting up from the ground where Daniel was just moments ago.

Jessie Rivera replied harshly, getting up from the ground where Daniel had sat just moments ago.

Her purple, drilling eyes looked at him, attempting to understand if a memory loss was even possible here. Her psychologist mind was working at its fullest.

Her purple eyes drilled at him as she attempted to discern if memory loss was a real possibility here. Her mind strained to recall her training as a psychologist as she explored all possibilities of Daniel’s question.

the man answered, backing out a few steps, nearly tripping on the bits of the crypt's floor, clearly present within that of the cave.

the man answered, backing out a few steps and nearly tripping on the bits of the crypt's floor that protruded clearly within the cave floor.

She looked at the man, with a small, almost unnoticeable spark of happiness lurking in her eyes.

She looked at the man with a small, almost unnoticeable spark of happiness lurking in her eyes.

"Oh," the man replied as he extended his arm into the left pocket of his jacket, looking for something. "Well, it… it looks like we're not getting out of here anytime soon," Asheworth said, taking out a half-broken device from his clothing, with a few elements of the screen falling to the ground.

"Well," the man replied, extending his arm into the left pocket of his jacket and digging around for something. "it looks like we're not getting out of here anytime soon." He took out a half-broken device from his clothing, spilling elements of the screen onto to the ground below. ||This device sounds fully broken not half broken. And what do you mean by “elements of the screen”?||

Rivera said as she began to search her bag for the potentially broken phone.

Rivera began searching through her bag for her own potentially broken phone.

Though the search through sandwiches and project notes was not an easy one, after half a minute she found what she had been looking for.

Tossing aside sandwiches and project notes for half a minute, she found what she had been looking for.

she laughed, though one could not hear happiness within the tone

she laughed nervously

Of-fucking-course nope. Tell me, Asheworth, who at Ontokinetics designs phones that can be used in literal non-dimensions, yet not in caves from all things to choose from?"

Of-fucking-course not. Tell me, Asheworth, who at Ontokinetics designs phones that can be used in literal non-dimensions but not in fucking caves?"

the man replied, bouncing the fault argument back to her.

Remove. This is obvious from context.

Jessie said, filling the mostly dark cavern with a blinding light that uncovered a lot of the previously unseen space.

Jessie said, illuminating the previously unseen spaces of the dark cavern with a blinding light.

protecting his still not accustomed eyes by his one hand, with the second quickly looking for his glasses in one of the pockets, only to find more broken glass.

protecting his still sensitive eyes with one outstretched hand. His other dug in his pocket searching for his glasses, only to find more broken glass.

"Yeah, uh, sure," she said as she redirected the beacon of light towards the walls of the cavern, only to find no exist whatsoever; it was rocks all the way down

"Yeah, uh, sure," she said, redirecting the beacon of light towards the walls of the cavern; Instead, she found that the cavern was rocks all the way down with no exit in sight.

Rivera said with a sad tone, sitting down on the stone floor.

Rivera muttered before collapsing onto the stone floor.

his calculative mind tried to find every single way out of here. Though the chance that his coworkers will actually care about him was very slim, the man was not ready to give up hope just yet.

But he knew, deep down, that the chance of his coworkers actually caring about him was very slim. Still, his calculative mind tried to find every single way out; he was not ready to give up hope just yet.

Silence filled their place of imprisonment. Though no one spoke a word, the sound of Asheworth's pen hitting the paper of his notebook could be heard from everywhere within the location, alongside Rivera's footsteps; after ten minutes of looking around though, she gave up and sat down near her work partner.

Silence filled their place of imprisonment with the only sounds being that of Asheworth's pen hitting the paper of his notebook and Rivera's footsteps. After ten minutes of looking around, she gave up and sat down near her work partner.

she said, disappointed that the man won't spill anything of his past.

I think it’s deeper than that. She’s more disappointed that she’s going to die with someone she knows nothing about. That’s how I read her character at least.

miss fuckhead

This doesn’t align with either character so far

managed to move all boulders of of the way.

managed to move all boulders out of the way.

As the doctors looked through the tunnel they have uncovered,

As the doctors looked through the tunnel they had uncovered,

finally giving them a feeling of freshness the cave has so deeply lacked

finally giving them a feeling of freshness the cave had so deeply lacked

trying to find something potentially useful around him, only to fail rather miserably.

What does this mean? Is he looking for a digging implement?

As the light filled the dead-dark corridor, one could clearly see a tunnel, built with a material not looking like anything they have ever seen; the bricks' color felt like it was yellow, blue, orange, and grey all at the same time, whilst not having any color, too.

As the light filled the dead-dark corridor, they could clearly see a tunnel built with a material unlike anything they had ever seen before; the bricks lit up as though they were yellow, blue, orange, grey, and colorless all at the same time.

http://scpdsandbox.wikidot.com/b-e-a-r

B E A R Round 1

Footnotes

1. Personal gripe, but anything can be contained. It's more of a matter of figuring it out or what is worth the effort.

2. Monitor what?

3. What terminology is this? Only seems that terminology would be "Uncle Charlie" and there aren't really other terminology patterns to look for

4. Why? Your log already shows that they exit and remember nothing, right? So what are they amnesticized of?

5. How, what, and why? The entity doesn't kill anyone and the interviews were with living people. What did we get posthumously?

6. Basically just defining that these are the attributes required but more of them at once increases chance of event

7. "established" is a temporal word so it is usually used in past tense.

8. How big is the perimeter?

9. Just saying "Area" was vague when two areas were described as being near but separated. This just clarifies that it is both areas that are off limits

10. Is "the" part of the name? If not, remove it

11. Moved up to put location descriptions together and bird making description together

12. Maybe include how we know this? How do we know that these markings were put in place to outline the origin and weren't added later?

13. I would move this up to be between the first two paragraphs in the description. Having this here kinda breaks the intrigue of the bird making and slows it down. If you move it up your description will be more of a build up and I think it will keep the reader engaged more

14. Current version is singular when all other times they are plural

15. No sense in this being a footnote when your article doesn't have a lot of numbers in it

16. conservation of mass is important enough to be in the body in my opinion

17. Just making it read like the other parts of the list

18. Talk more about observations and patterns rather than stating outright that this is typical behaviour, in my opinion

19. It was already deemed as limited because it is low priority/unimportant

20. internal brain hemorage is kinda nonsense. You cant externally hemmorage the brain (as far as I know)

PhD Proposal

Framework: Fandom studies first arose as a field of research in 1992 from the works of Lewis (1992), Bacon-Smith (1992), and Jenkins (1992) with the objective of understanding why fans were “not taken seriously as research subjects by critics and scholars” (Lewis, 1992) despite being a “complex, multidimensional phenomenon, inviting many forms of participation and levels of engagement” (Jenkins 1992). Since then, with the burgeoning of the internet and popularization of social media networks, fandom studies scholars have developed new ways of conducting research on digital cultures and online communities through investigative practices of transmedia and participatory culture (Bennett, 2014). Because of this growth into the digital spaces of fandom, new aspects of looking at participatory cultures emerged to be studied (Bennett, 2014). Online fan communities provided opportunities to look at understandings of race (Gatson & Reid, 2012; Stanfill, 2018; Young, 2014), disability (Wagner & Lothian, 2014; Cook, 2019; Howell, 2019), feminism (Leiser, 2018; Brown, 2018; Williams, 2019), and sexuality (Coker, 2015; Wei, 2014; Attu & Terras, 2017; Haimson, Dame-Griff, Capello, & Richter, 2019) from the perspective of individuals expressing their fanaticism (Lothian, Busse, & Reid, 2007). To scholars of pedagogy, one aspect of fandom emerged as a particular interest: affinity groups that gather around a specific focus and produce original compositions as a part of their fanaticism (DeLuca, 2018). In the work by DeLuca (2018) on Online Fandom Communities and Affinity groups as Sites for Public Writing Pedagogy, she looked to the Game of Thrones fandom on Tumblr as a source of inspiration for improving the way that students engage with original writing composition and public engagement. DeLuca identified in this exploration that online writing communities provide opportunities for students to write for an audience that they place an inherent value in, engage with content in a way that is meaningful for the student’s own interests and passions, and practice skills of communication that may be transferable to situations beyond educational settings. My work builds upon this framework of fandom communities as a space of learning and adds to it by investigating a fandom community devoted to academic writing and scientific literacy: the SCP Foundation (SCPF).

Context: The SCPF wiki is a flash-fiction fandom writing website specialized in magical realism - fiction that presents a mundane or otherwise real-world setting with magical or supernatural elements (Bowers, 2004) - and speculative fiction - a “super-genre” of fiction that deals with the latent possibilities for society by asking questions of “what if?” (Atwood, 2011). The content produced by the SCPF writing community is unique among online writing communities due to the academic prose (Coxhead & Byrd, 2007) of the mock-documents in the SCP Series I-VI database (Jacocks, 2017) and the academic model of peer review employed by authors of the website.
The SCP Series I-VI database presents thousands of entries written by site authors in the style of academic reports that have been “declassified” from the records of “the Foundation” – a fictitious organization charged with securing, containing, and protecting anomalous objects, entities, and phenomena. Entries that appear in this database follow a template of cataloguing “anomalies” with the use of item numbers, descriptive categorical attributes, safe containment or handling procedures, and passive-voice descriptions of the subject. When writing for this catalogue, authors present an intended narrative or explore an interesting phenomenon through a scientific prose (Jacocks, 2017) reminiscent of the popular children’s books of the -ology series by Dugald Steer or the Flanimals series by Ricky Gervais. The format of the Series I-VI database presents a communal worldbuilding exercise, feeding the wonder inherent to peering through the looking glass into the Foundation’s world, while making commentary on the reality of the subject and the ramifications that would follow its existence and study.
Writing for the SCPF wiki entrenches authors in an interdisciplinary writing task that makes use of academic prose in order to present commentary of academia and society at large through the use of magical realism and speculative fiction. In SCP-1609 (Rioghail, 2012), the author criticizes the destructive nature of militarized science through presenting a sentient chair that has been tossed into a woodchipper by military scientists who are attempting to “'protect the world' by destroying it”. In SCP-2966 (WWIflyingace, 2016), the author describes the ramifications of violating the laws of physics by making infinite toilet paper and, in the process, criticizes academics that believe “anyone with a doctorate should be able to understand others' work, even if it's in a different branch”. And in SCP-5367 (Pedagon, 2020), I presented a critique of standardized teaching methods through an exploration of a set of magical tools that exploit quantum mechanics. What makes this publication unique is that authors without formal training in science writing and communication are not excluded from participating in the process of storytelling in the community. Before contributing to this database, users are expected to participate in a process of peer review by submitting a proposal to be reviewed by established authors with more than 3 articles received positively on the site, writing drafts to be reviewed by other writers and volunteer editors, and requesting final in-depth peer review from established authors before making the final post to the wiki. To facilitate this process effectively and ensure quality of feedback, members of the SCPF wiki community have made guides on how to present an idea effectively for critique, how to give and receive feedback well, and how to ensure accuracy of information in an article by finding reliable sources. In my study, I intend to investigate the SCPFW community as an informal learning environment where authors develop academic writing skills, develop effective research skills, learn professional communication and feedback skills, and functionally explore interdisciplinary content. I will investigate this topic through answering the question of “To what extent does writing for the SCPF wiki act as an informal learning exercise of academic and professional skills?”

Researcher Context: The proposed study compliments my current master’s research, ████████████████████████████████, by continuing to investigate how people without scientific backgrounds engage with the academic skills and literacies taught in formal programs. Additionally, I have been an engaged member of the SCPFW community ever since 2008 as an avid reader and have recently become a frequent author and editor. I have one solo-author article currently listed in the Series I-VI database, two tales, and numerous editing credits. My experience with the SCPF writing community and my prior research experience on making science accessible to the public make me uniquely qualified to conduct this proposed study effectively and ethically. Furthermore, I will be applying for the Educational Research PhD program at the University of ██████████ to be supervised by Dr. ██████████, who has expressed interest in supervising the proposed work. Dr. ████████ will add to the quality of my work by providing insight from her expertise in anthropological research methods, interdisciplinary and transdisciplinary scholarship, and work on the decentering of academia.

Methodology: To investigate my research question, I will use the methodology of cyberethnography as described by Hine (2000) - where the internet is viewed as both culture and cultural artifact and the researcher acts as a participant observer. Due to the fact that SCPF authors engage in a form of participatory culture unique to fandom communities (Jenkins, 2006), it is only appropriate to treat the community as such and engage with it as a cultural entity (Coppa, 2014). To study this community as a participant observer, I will continue to engage with the SCPF writing community as an editor and writer throughout the study, granting me insight into the context of discussions with participants and knowledge of the community as a whole in order to truthfully represent the community as it exists at the time. In phase one of the study, I will invite established authors, those with an author page on the wiki (i.e. more than 3 works published in the Series I-VI database), to participate in a qualitative survey of their experiences of writing for the SCPF wiki and engaging with the peer-review process as both reviewees and reviewers. Specifically, I will be asking them what they believe they have gained by being a part of the SCPF community, how being a part of the SCPF community has impacted their lives beyond the wiki, and what initially drew them towards the SCPF community and inspired them to write for the wiki. In phase two, I will interview interested authors through a semi-structured interview on their experiences of being a part of the SCPF community. This will include, in addition to elaboration on the survey questions, discussions around what it was like to first write for the wiki, what it was like to first go through the review process, and what it is like to write for the wiki now that they are established contributors. I will then compliment the data collected from participants in both phases with my own experiences of being a participant-observer while writing for the SCPF wiki myself. 

References

Anderson Howell, K. (2019). Human activity: Fan studies, fandom, disability and the classroom. The Journal of Fandom Studies, 7(1), 3-6.
Attu, R., & Terras, M. (2017). What people study when they study Tumblr. Journal of Documentation.
Atwood, M. (2011). In other worlds: SF and the human imagination. Anchor.
Bacon-Smith, C. (1992). Enterprising women: Television fandom and the creation of popular myth. University of Pennsylvania Press.
Bennett, L. (2014). Tracing textual poachers: Reflections on the development of fan studies and digital fandom. The Journal of Fandom Studies, 2(1), 5-20.
Bowers, M. A. (2013). Magic (al) realism. Routledge.
Brown, S. A. (2018). Millennial fandom and the failures of Switched at Birth's sexual assault education campaign. Transformative Works and Cultures, 26.
Brown, J. A. (2018). # wheresRey: feminism, protest, and merchandising sexism in Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Feminist media studies, 18(3), 335-348.
Coker, C. (2015). Everybody’s bi in the future: Constructing sexuality in the Star Trek Reboot fandom. The Journal of Fandom Studies, 3(2), 195-210.
Cook, T. N. (2019). ‘All dwarfs are bastards’: Game of Thrones as disability studies pedagogy. The Journal of Fandom Studies, 7(1), 35-46.
Coppa, F. (2014). Fuck yeah, fandom is beautiful. The Journal of Fandom Studies, 2(1), 73-82.
Coxhead, A., & Byrd, P. (2007). Preparing writing teachers to teach the vocabulary and grammar of academic prose. Journal of second language writing, 16(3), 129-147.
DeLuca, K. (2018). Shared passions, shared compositions: Online fandom communities and affinity groups as sites for public writing pedagogy. Computers and Composition, 47, 75-92.
Gatson, S. N., & Reid, R. A. (2012). Race and ethnicity in fandom. Transformative Works and Cultures, 8(1).
Haimson, O. L., Dame-Griff, A., Capello, E., & Richter, Z. (2019). Tumblr was a trans technology: the meaning, importance, history, and future of trans technologies. Feminist Media Studies, 1-17.
Hine, C. (2000). Virtual ethnography . Sage.
Jacocks, O. (2017). Containment Breach: Exploring the Intersections of Narrative and Database from Encyclopédie to Wiki (Doctoral dissertation).
Jenkins, H. (1992). Textual poachers: Studies in culture and communication. Abingdon-onthames: routledge.
Jenkins, H. (2006). Fans, bloggers, and gamers: Exploring participatory culture. nyu Press.
Leiser, S. (2018). Throne of Fans: Examining the Roles of Feminism, Platform and Community in an Online Fandom.
Lewis, L. A. (Ed.). (1992). The adoring audience: Fan culture and popular media. Psychology Press.
Lothian, A., Busse, K., & Reid, R. A. (2007). “Yearning Void and Infinite Potential”: Online Slash Fandom as Queer Female Space. English Language Notes, 45(2), 103.
Pedagon. (2020). SCP-5367. Retrieved from http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-5367
Rioghail. (2012). SCP-1609. Retrieved from http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1609
Stanfill, M. (2018). The unbearable whiteness of fandom and fan studies. A companion to media fandom and fan studies, 305-17.
Wagner, K., & Lothian, A. (2014). Access and fandom: Disability studies from a feminist science fiction perspective. Disability Studies Quarterly, 34(2).
Wei, J. (2014). Queer encounters between Iron Man and Chinese boys' love fandom. Transformative Works and Cultures, (17).
Williams, J. (2019). Nice For What? A Critical Analysis of Drake, Millennial Feminism and the Negotiation of ‘Wokeness’ in Female Hip-Hop Fandom (Doctoral dissertation, University of Huddersfield).
WWIflyingace. (2016). SCP-2966. Retrieved from http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-2966
Young, H. (2014). Race in online fantasy fandom: Whiteness on Westeros. org. Continuum, 28(5), 737-747. 

September 2020 Butterfly Flight

Welcome to the hub for the Team of the Oinks.

If you're on this, it means two things. If you are Pedagon or/and Marcelles_Raynes, welcome in the hub for your Review Flight. Below, you will find some rules of thumb and pieces of advice about what I expect to you as my officers. If you are none of these users, I don't know how you find this, but there's no big project here, you will find it elsewhere.

---

Pieces of advice.

- The most important : be excellent to the people you crit. You already know that, it's in the rules, but it's always good to remind that to people. Of course, telling people what you think about their articles can be harsh, but don't forget that there's multiple ways to tell one thing. "I don't think your article can work on the site because I feel that this, this and that make it a disservice" is a good way to tell. "Your article is complete garbage with no redeeming quality on it, it's horrible" is not.

- Don't. Be. An. Elitist. I cannot stress this enough, because for all the time I've spent on site, I've seen many, too many comments made by people who act and talk often in a really condescending way about what is an SCP and what is not an SCP and they say that like if it was an absolute and objective truth. But they're wrong. The truth is that articles on the Wiki can take many forms and can be about everything and everyone, as long as it's well-written. Remember that.

- You are not obligated to provide a big wall of text as a review. If you feel that the idea is not "formed" enough ou if you feel that you don't have much to say, don't force yourself, select just the points that are for you the most important, say it in the review and leave it at that, as long as you tell precisely what works or not in the idea.

- If you see someone in the Ideas Forum who have a thread but who don't have the required template, let Staff handle it. If you leave a critique and the OP respond poorly to that (by "poorly", I mean "they are agressive towards you or something like that"), stay calm and contact a Staff (it can be me, but contact any Staff).

- Me and you two, we are from different timezones and generally, when you're awake, I could be asleep (and the opposite, also). So, if you send me a message on Discord and I don't respond immediately, it's maybe because I'm asleep or busy (but I generally try to respond when I can).

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For Pedagon :

Goals required :

- September 15th/September 22nd : 2 idea critiques per day.
- September 22nd/September 31th : 2 idea critiques per day + 3 draft critiques for all the week.

Template of first contact :

Template 1

Hey!

[[*user Pedagon]] here from the Team of the Oinks! I'm here to be your critter!!

[[collapsible show="+ Roses, Thorns, and Buds" hide="- Roses, Thorns, and Buds"]]
##pink|Rose :##
##green|Thorn :##
##brown|Bud :##
[[/collapsible]]

[[collapsible show="+ Advice of Readings" hide="- Advice of Readings"]]
[[/collapsible]]

Welcome to the site! I'm looking forward to hearing back from you! :)

-Brian

Template 2

Hey!

[[*user Pedagon]] here from the Team of the Oinks! I'm here to be your critter!!

[[collapsible show="+ Roses" hide="- Roses"]]
[[/collapsible]]

[[collapsible show="+ Thorns " hide="- Thorns"]]
[[/collapsible]]

Welcome to the site! I'm looking forward to hearing back from you! :)

-Brian

Place for linking your crits :

Week 1 Crits

September 15th: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-13730686/the-perfect-town#post-4775477 <- Really looking forward to where this one goes when they respond :)
September 15th: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-13729437/disability-reels#post-4775766 <- Super cool narrative with a strange object. Let’s see some growth!

September 16th: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-13736372/the-flower-in-the-field-seeking-greenlights#post-4776352 <- Really cool narrative with some clutter to clean up. They seem to have deleted their account right before I was about to reconnect for greenlight :( super disappointing
September 16th: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-13736128/scp-5259-first-scp#post-4776361 <- Agree with Marcelles! Has definite potential but needs some growth in narrative and origin.

September 17th: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-13739236/the-corner-of-your-eye#post-4777017 <- Not much here to critique so I will revisit it when the author responds and provides more information.
September 17th: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-13704357/playing-god-with-a-model-town#post-4777025 <- Love the narrative but the journey to it needs work. Will check back in on it later to see if they explain more.

September 18th: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-13741173/welcome-to-the-in-game-experience#post-4777623 <- Looks like a new author wanting to geek out about video games. Not super confident on it but whatever. Any idea can be a good idea!
September 18th: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-13739721/seeking-greenlights-scp-xxxx-native-american-spirit#post-4777635 <- Probably not a great critique for a critter but what I think the author needs. Made me consider requesting or putting together a guide on dealing with stereotypes and writing about people respectfully.

September 19th: http://www.scpwiki.com/forum/t-13745853/first-scp-idea-seeking-feedback#post-4778578 <- A cliche idea that could make any seasoned SCP reader/writer groan. But could also be done well if the narrative gets fleshed out a bit! The fact that they wrote a draft before greenlight makes me worry but who knows. Maybe this will be the chosen one to do the immortal d-class right and not just rip off confinement.
September 19th: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-13741490/spontaneous-space-rock#post-4777729 <- SCIENCE! My favourite topic to read about! I think this could be a cool idea but it needs more thought into how they would make this an effective article. Can’t wait to see how they respond to the critiques provided!

September 20th: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-13746700/first-scp-idea-seeking-feedback#post-4779342 <- I really like the concept! I love simple scips! Just needs more in the proposal.
September 20th: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-13736633/giant-hypnotic-toads#post-4779350 <- alright idea. Needs more writing information before a full critique of the idea can be given accurately.

September 21st: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-13749438/scp-j#post-4779873 <- extremely underdeveloped -j article with a simple premise. Don’t see much future fore it based on the proposal that was written to be completely honest.
September 21st: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-13750187/seeking-greenlight-intwo#post-4779892 <- anomaly is alright. Nothing special but not especially bad either. The intended narrative worries me as well as the described elements of conprocs and d-class testing.

Personal opinion about Week 1 : Well, let me be clear, this is an excellent work you've done here with all your crits! The whole "roses & thorns" gimmick is pretty funny and you take the time to say everything that, for you, work and doesn't work, which is an essential quality for a critter. There would be many other good things to say, but I will summarize them in one sentence : if you continue to do in Week 2 what you made in Week 1, you will surely be an excellent critter and you will use your greenlighting privileges wisely, I'm sure of that. Excellent work!

Place for linking your crits :

Y'know how it works. ^^

September 22nd: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-13754171/viral-applications#post-4780476 <- I’m really excited for this one and I honestly think it is worthy of a greenlight already. However, no ideas are perfect right from the beginning so I want to see how they address some of my questions to see if they have a plan for writing their article and to see how they respond to feedback. Chances are that I will be recommending this one for a greenlight tomorrow when they respond.

September 23rd: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-13744715/monster-house#post-4779344 <- Monster house has been in development for a few months now and I have been helping the author grow it in an ongoing basis. They are mainly dealing with confidence issues and framing their article in a way that shows what they are actually internally going through. This is going to be an ongoing critique that will hopefully help the author get it out someday.
September 23rd: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-13756814/scp-xxxx:the-traveler-seeking-green-lights#post-4781098 <- Simple proposal. Asked for more information and some explanation of how they will be doing what they have proposed effectively.

September 24th: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-13758084/seeking-greenlight-god-of-the-gaps#post-4781816
September 24th: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-13751514/pustula-flowers-seeking-greenlight#post-4781834

September 25th: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-13757282/broken-masquerade-tale-seeking-feedback#post-4782233 <- I'm honestly ready to greenlight this one. They responded to my feedback really well and everything they added sounds like it would fit really well on the wiki
September 25th: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-13761172/2-revolvers-with-ethics#post-4782295 <- User is trying to start a series of tales with this fist SCP article and the proposal shows that the article is just a means to kick off their tale. I think it's a great idea but they need to treat this article like a standalone piece first.

September 26th: http://www.scpwiki.com/forum/t-13764310/the-quantum-quarter#post-4783024 <- Quantum mechanics and the same effect I used in my first article (although I don’t think I pulled in bias because mine wasn’t very popular). Did alright talking about the science but really lacks in narrative.
September 26th: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-13763943/seeking-greenlights-regenerating-ice-cream-cone#post-4783030 <- Regenerating ice cream is something I’ve been writing myself. The proposal reads like a series 1 article and needs more discussion around the narrative.
Interesting day with two articles that I have written myself. Was weird giving critique on my own ideas lol

September 27th: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-13763814/scp-idea:hornet-horror#post-4783667 <- Not very much for a proposal so offered the author some questions to consider and update their proposal. Will check back in tomorrow to see if they have developed!
September 27th: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-13766652/looking-for-greenlights-on-an-old-idea-of-mine#post-4783679 <- Another bare proposal that I gave some questions to think about. Will check back in tomorrow to see if they have developed!
These last two days have really made me reflect on what kinds of ideas I prefer to critique. I think I prefer giving feedback on the underdeveloped ideas the most and find critique on ideas I am more familiar with to be difficult to avoid my bias in. It’s interesting!

September 28th: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-13766888/seeking-greenlight-on-this-tale-idea-of-mine#post-4784197 <- Summoned by pm to give this one a look. Still a lot to go on this one but it looks like the author is receptive to feedback!
September 28th: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-13762234/a-mirror-s-reflection#post-4784211 <- Summoned by pm to give this one a look. Still a lot to go on this one but it looks like the author is receptive to feedback! Today just seems to be the day for these!

September 29th: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-13770372/the-trench-raider#post-4784955 <- Monster that kills people. Gave some advice for making a better quality proposal so we will see where they take it!
September 29th: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-13769794/medic#post-4784964 <- A tale about being an MD at the Foundation. LOVE the idea! Not much detail of how it will be executed. Will check in on it later!

September 30th: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-13774494/quitting-smoke#post-4785905 <- I see a lot of potential in this idea! Could make for a cool article with some development!
September 30th: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-13774449/the-label-maker#post-4785912 <- Really empty idea. Gave the author some advice for writing an effective proposal and how to think through an idea fully.

October 1st: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-13769086/a-creature-whose-flute-puts-people-s-souls-in-inanimate-obje#post-4786788 <- Really cool idea but needs some work on fleshing it out into something that can tell a story.
October 1st: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-13768822/elephant-friend#post-4786790 <- Cute elephant friend seeking advice and suggestions. Asked for more information that could help critters give ideas and brainstorm.
October 1st: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-13768142/the-double-decree#post-4786794 <- Cool idea without a dive into how the article will be written. If done thoughtfully this could be a great idea. If done without thought it could be a horrible time for the author.
October 1st: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-13776685/looking-for-a-greenlight-on-my-idea-new-scp-author#post-4786791 <- Barely a critique but whatever. Might as well toss it in.
For the final day I took a look at 4 smaller articles to try to help them flesh their ideas out and attract more attention. I love this early stage of an idea and the conversation that flows out!

Draft critique 1: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-13768016/echoes-between-now-and-then#post-4784135
Draft critique 2: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-13681089/nobody-goi-format:frostbite#post-4784170
Draft critique 3: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-13725511/where-s-waldo#post-4784191

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Critique

Ayumi: http://kaktuskontainer.wikidot.com/kaito-s-daily-life

http://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/store-2

http://www.scpwiki.com/forum/t-13785842/old-man

http://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/collab:wizzblizz

Draft Critique

This is usually done automatically via concealed cameras located within and around the White House, Congress, common Presidential speaking avenues, and the President's private home(s).

This is usually done automatically via concealed cameras located within and around the White House, Congress, the President's private residence(s), and common Presidential speaking avenues.

If Foundation officials learn that the President is going to be outside these areas between 19:40 and 20:00 on any given night, an agent should be dispatched to fit the location with concealed cameras beforehand.

If Foundation officials learn that the President is going to be outside these areas between 19:45(?) and 20:00 on any given night, an agent should be dispatched to fit the location with concealed cameras beforehand. ||What about the times where they don't know beforehand? Is there a protocol?||

SCP-XXXX is an anomalous phenomenon

SCP-XXXX is a phenomenon ||Everything they deal with is anomalous||

Recording the president's face between 19:45 and 20:051 is a Level 5/Amida Response situation.

Recording the president's face between 19:45 and 20:00(?) is a Level 5/Amida Response situation.

All footage is to analyzed live by CXXXX.amk

All footage is to be analyzed live by CXXXX.amk

If this happens, and the president does subsequently not scratch their nose, an instance of SCP-XXXX-1 will materialize instantly approximately 64 800km away from Earth.

If this happens, and the president subsequently does not scratch their nose, an instance of SCP-XXXX-1 will materialize instantly approximately 64 800km away from Earth.

SCP-XXXX-1 is an asteroid usually measuring around 20km in diameter, and traveling at around 18 km/s.

What is the deviation from these values? Is this a mean, median, or a mode? And what direction is it typically traveling in?

If SCP-XXXX-1 were to collide with the Earth, it would result in an XK end-of-the-world scenario, causing humans, as well as all other large animal species, to go extinct.

Foundation models of a collision event between SCP-XXXX-1 and the Earth have determined that it would result in an XK end-of-the-world scenario, causing humans and all other large animal species to go extinct.

Upon materialization, SCP-XXXX-1 will collide with the Earth in ∼1hr, unless the President scratches their nose during that time, in which case SCP-XXXX-1 will instantly dematerialize.

My own questions, but at what point is it viewable by normal people and would present a risk to the Veil? The asteroid doesn't need to collide with the Earth to start mass panic and make people aware of it being there.

At 19:56 UTC-5 (Washington Time),

At 19:56, ||You already said the time zone for the full document in footnote 1||

Random Work!

Pedagon

8 Pages

Chronological order | Recently posted | Top rated | Recently updated

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Others

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collab:pedagon-impperatrix-drhajovsky-2021FebFlight2
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Last edited: Impperatrix at 01 Mar 2021 08:17

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Last edited: Pedagon at 04 Feb 2021 18:09

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+ ^…
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Item #: SCP-XXXX Object Class: Safe - Cernnunos Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be kept on floor 17 of Site-88. Removal for testing requires approval from the SCP-XXXX project...
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Last edited: Pedagon at 11 Aug 2020 23:18

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tags:

Pedagon_Finalizing
+ ^…
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tags:

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+ ^…
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COLOR KEY: RUSTY RED [#DA2C43]: Information that will be or is planned to be redacted. Pedagon's notes SCP-XXXX Version 1 SCP-XXXX Version 2 SCP-XXXX Version 3 SCP-XXXX Version 3 2.0 SCP-XXXX...
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+ ^…
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Last edited: Pedagon at 13 Aug 2020 15:50

Ambrose Ice Cream Ambrose Ice Cream V2 Ambrose Ice Cream V3 Chia Pet Grad Cap Ella Minnow Pea AWCY Blindness Creatures inside a K-Class Scenario -J High School Musical of 76 SCP in universe Tree...
tags:

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Collaborations

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http://kaktuskontainer.wikidot.com/collab:jakdragonx-whitehole